Chapter 1 – My Dream

“This is my dream, gakkeumsshik hime buchyeo sseureo jigo shipeulttae..”

My Dream by MBLAQ. Kyaaa. This song is so beautiful, Joonie’s voice is so awesome. I just wanna crey. if only I could see them personally, I could die happy this instant. Now what? I’m in Korea already, but still I have no idea how I could see them, especially Lee Joon T_T *sigh* So close, yet so far.

oh btw, I’m Sandy. I’m 19 years old from the Philippines. I’m a university student at the University of the Philippines and I’m a Biology student. Yeah, weird degree to pursue, but I badly want to be a doctor. Doctors, as I’ve known lots, are really rich. Their families could go everywhere they want because they have lots of money, and at the same time, they save lives. A lot of people count on Doctors to make them feel better, and I also want to help that way.

And oh, cut the questions. I’m a mind reader, you’re asking why I said I was in Korea but I’m from the Philippines. Well, let me answer that for you. The story goes like this…

FLASHBACK

‘Far East University wants YOU!’

“preferably Juniors, send your applications to the Student Affairs building beside the Graduate School. Deadline is on May 23, 2012” I read out loud the poster located outside our room.

It was our Bio150 (Principles of Ecology) class and our teacher stepped out of the room. I got hungry and asked my friend, Cyril, to accompany me outside the building to buy some drinks and snacks while the teacher was out. She won’t be back after 30 minutes anyway.

“Hey per, check this out! Exchange student program in Korea! Finally we could see our husbands when we get accepted for this offer!” I teasingly said to my friend as I was drinking my cup of cold Iced Tea. (per – our other term for friend. More like a pet name or something.)

“Oh Yah! Let’s get this on friend! Taemin-ah! Here I come!” Cyril said as her eyes twinkled and her whole face turned apple red. Yes, my friend is a hardcore Shawol and her bias is Taemin. Ask me what my fandom is? I’m an A+, hellyeah! And my ultimate bias is Lee Joon-ah. Oh I could go days describing my love for Lee Joon but since I don’t wanna bore you like crazy over this, let me continue my story.

This application for FEU Korea is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to go to Korea and try to meet MBLAQ in person. For years, I have been waiting for concerts here in the Philippines but none happened, and since MBLAQ won’t come to the Philippines, then I will find a way to go there and see them myself.

Back to class, I was too bored to listen to the teacher. The topic today was about the different Biomes of the World. Since it was discussed in another subject, I’m not too eager to listen now. And besides, I’m too preoccupied and at the same time excited about sending an application for FEU Korea. This is my only chance.

I flipped my notebook to the last page and wrote down a draft of my application for the exchange student program. How could I appeal to the people who will assess my letter? I’ll tell them that I’m too bored to study? And I want to be inspired again so I need to change my studying environment and hopefully there, I could rekindle my interest in studying again? Oh that will do. What more.. I continued writing and when I got home this afternoon, I rushed to my room, opened Bloo, (my laptop, I named it bloo because it was colored blue, and I just love the color blue.) Microsoft Word and typed like crazy my application letter.

The day after, since my first class is gonna start at 10 AM, I woke up early and rushed to campus, straight to the Student Affairs Building and submitted my application.

*sigh* “Now I passed my application, and I’m itching to know the results already.” I talked to myself. Yes, don’t deny guys. I know you talk to yourselves too, especially when you’re alone. It kind of became my hobby since during most of my subjects; I don’t have my closest friends with me. Whenever I felt like I need to say something, I tell it to myself out loud, and I’m aware that others can hear me. Hell I care!

Days passed and I haven’t heard a single thing about my application. This got me way depressed and down. I was waiting for any announcement during June but none came. And I felt all hope leave my being, and eventually I forgot about my application for the exchange student program.

“Hey per, did you submit an application letter for FEU Korea?” Cyril asked me out of the blue. We were reading posters and announcements again along the Institute of Biological Sciences Lobby since our class won’t start in an hour and we’re dead bored. Our past time while waiting for our classes were to read stupid posters and announcement in this board, since we find other posts here hilarious and well, not post worthy. *gives out a chuckle*

“Yeah per, I did. Didn’t you?” I asked Cyril while munching a vegetable roll. Sorry, I’m eating again. Kekeke~ I was reading a poster about the running councilor in our University. She’s a Korean and her last name is Lee. Aiya~ I’m jealous. I’m sure she’s not in any way a relative of Lee Joon but still I’m jealous that her last name is Lee. But imagining my name with Lee as a surname, Sandy Lee? It doesn’t even sound a bit nice T_T

“Hey per, look at this running councilor, her last name is Lee. Isn’t Taemin’s surname Lee too?” I asked and Cyril peeked at the poster I was looking and she laughed too.

“Lol per, Lee Sandy and Lee Cyril, that sounds so bad. But still, being with Taemin oppa aigooo~. Well that sounded wrong per, we both have Lee as surnames, we’re like mistresses to each other K ” then Cyril and I bursted out laughing again. This having Lee Joon and Lee Taemin as our husband daydreaming is beginning to be our daily hobby. Lee is a really common surname in Korea. Probably most Koreans that I know has Lee as their surname, Lee Joon, Lee Taemin, Lee Min Ho, Lee Bruce, Lee Bryan and Alecci (my math teachers way back in high school) and a lot more Lee’s.

“About the application per, I didn’t apply for the exchange student program since I forgot and I was busy with our upcoming exam in Math that week. I think you should be heading to the Student Affairs Building later per.” Cyril slowly told me and I almost choked the vegetable roll on my throat. All adrenaline gathered on my head and I rushed to the announcement she was reading and it read:

CALLING THE ATTENTION OF THE FF. STUDENTS:

4. Maria Sandara Torres, 2010-19917, BS Biology, College of Arts and Sciences

Please go to the Student Affairs Building on or before July 24 and look for Prof. Rabena.

Re: Application for Exchange Student Program

I didn’t bother looking at the other names; I don’t even know who they are. I just saw my name and read the announcement after the list of names. OMFG. They want to see me. But why?! Will this mean I got accepted? Or will they tell me to my face that my application got rejected? My chest, I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to do! WAIT. What date is it today? “hey Cyril! What date is it today?” I suddenly asked Cyril. I can feel the panic rushing to my veins.

“OH MY GOD PER. It’s already July 24, and it’s 4:00 already!” Cyril told me and i wasn’t myself anymore. I started rushing like crazy towards the Student Affairs Building. But I have classes at 4:30? Aish what shall I do. I know! I’ll cut my class. It’s been my 3^rd time not attending my Botany class but I don’t care. I’m confident I’ll still pass. “PEEEER, I’LL GO! JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID DURING CLASS AND IF THERE ARE ANY ASSIGNMENTS. LOVE YOU PER, I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING WHEN I GET HOME.”

And I ran. OMFG Student Affairs Building is kinda far away from the Institute of Biological Sciences Building. I was catching my breath. I was a soccer player during high school but it’s been almost two years since I last played, and I haven’t run like this in years. My feet are shaking and my heartbeat’s 4 times my normal. I could feel my tears in my eyes. I’m really nervous right now. The office hours in my campus end at 5pm and it’s already 4:30pm. I hope Mr. Rabena is still in his office.

I panted as I reached the entrance of the Student Affairs Building. I breathed heavily and caught up with my breathing first before I continued walking towards the office. I wiped away my sweat and coughed a little. There, I hope I look and act normal right now. I went to the comfort room first to check on how I look, God do I look pale. My lips are white and dry and I feel cold sweat all over my body. I feel dead. I opened the faucet and splashed an ample amount of water on my face. That felt better. And after wiping myself out, I patted my face and said, “FIGHTING!”

Finally,  I saw Mr. Rabena’s office. I knocked on the door and turned the knob, checking if it’s locked. OH . Thank God it’s open, surely he’s still in. I looked around and greeted “Good Afternoon Sir!” upon meeting eyes with a man seated on the table. He seems like checking and reading papers when I barged in. He nodded and gestured me to sit down at the chair across his table. He got a folder on the cabinet on his desk and flipped the papers, probably searching for my application letter. He pulled out a paper, and I knew it, it was my application letter. He scanned at it again and placed the paper on the table, clasped his hands and coughed.

“Ms. Torres yes?” I nodded and I stopped breathing again. THIS TENSION IS MAKING ME CRAZY.

“We’ve read your application for the Exchange Student Program to FEU Korea and we have talked about it along with the faculty and staff representatives of FEU Korea. We received almost 50 applications and we are accepting only 5 students. 1 of the 5 students will be brought to FEU Korea and the other 4 to other affiliate schools we have in other countries.” I nodded again. This introduction and explanation about the program is taking so long, it’s driving me nuts. Just freaking tell me if I get to go to Korea or not, so I could breathe already!

“You’ve done well Ms. Torres, I might say that I liked your application letter. Very honest and true. But since there are others who reviewed the applications, they must’ve preferred the others. I’m sorry to say Ms. Torres. Your application got rejected. I hope you still apply for other exchange student programs of the University. I see so much potential in you.” I smiled, and thanked Mr. Rabena. I slowly walked out of his office and out of the building.

My body is still stiff, my hands and feet are shaking, and my tears started flowing. MY LIFE. My only chance to go to Korea was a waste. Whoever’s application got accepted probably read like ‘I want to go to FEU Korea to impart what I know to the university I am about to go to and also share what I’ve learned to the university back home and blah blah blah’. THE FREAK. I doubt he/she will do it anyway.

I feel bad. I wanna cry out loud and shout “MOOOMMYYYY” but that would be too childish for me. I decided to sit down for a while on the benches on our University Freedom Park and let some tears flow.

When I got home, I first logged in to Tumblr and scanned for MBLAQ’s pictures to make me happy. I received a PM from Cyril a little later and I replied with “Sorry dude, not in the mood to tell a story in detail, but bottomline, I got rejected.” And closed the chatbox. I remembered the scene again a while ago. My ears and brain couldn’t actually function when I heard “I’m sorry to say Ms. Torres”. I knew it. I was never meant to go to Korea. I was never meant to see MBLAQ in person. But it was really too mean of me to use that exchange student opportunity just to see the blaqies. But my reason of rekindling my interest to study again was the truth, being in the same country with MBLAQ is just only a bonus. Oh well, I cried myself to sleep. I still had an 8:00 class the next day.

I woke up the next day, not feeling the great want to go to school. But I must, I don’t want to fail any subject you know. So I lazily got out of bed and took a bath. Before leaving the house, I decided to check on my phone since probably my friends know how bad I feel right now, but instead I saw a message from an unknown number.

Ms. Torres, please go to my office today during your vacant hours. This is Mr. Rabena.

Oh! So they want to see me again now? For what? Telling to my face again that I got rejected? They want me to meet this Scumbag who got accepted for the program. Oh please. K

Since my vacant period is still at 2pm in the afternoon, I just ignored the text and went straight to class. As usual, I attended boring classes and slept most of the time. That’s how a lazyass student I am. I act like a boy at school, sleeping in class, not studying, lazying around, unlike my friends who takes down notes, listening to the teacher, rewrites notes again when home and then gets high scores during exams. I pass my exams though, but not really scores which I could brag about to you guys.

After my class, it was already 2pm and I was wondering if I would show up at that meeting with Mr. Rabena in the Student Affairs Building. Probably I will, since I’m a good student, and I don’t want them having a bad impression towards me just because I didn’t get accepted for my first application. Maybe the next time I apply for the program, they’d accept me. Kekeke

So I walked calmly to the Student Affairs Building and went straight to Mr. Rabena’s room. I greeted again a good afternoon once I’m in the room and Mr. Rabena just placed down the papers he was reading before I came in and nodded. I sat down again across the table and sighed. This is déjà vu perhaps.

“Miss Torres, I’ve received a call yesterday that the student who was accepted for the exchange student program in FEU Korea did not get any passport yet which was a requirement for the program.”

My eyes widened when he was speaking. What does this mean? Where will this conversation lead? Wait, do I have a passport? OMFG I think I do, thanks to my mom she applied me a passport just last year, she said, in case I needed one immediately. OMFG what do I do. Wait, calm down sandy, he’s not yet saying anything, don’t be too assuming, you’ll get badly depressed again.

“By any chance, have you gotten your passport ready already? If you do, then you will be the student that the University will be sending to FEU Korea for the Student Exchange Program.”

I felt my blood leave my whole system. I want to faint. NO wait, not needed. I don’t want making a commotion around this building. Shizzz I need to answer Mr. Rabena. YES SIR OMFG YES I HAVE A FREAKING PASSPORT AND IT’S ALL READY! OMFG I CAN’T OPEN MY MOUTH. MARIA SANDARA OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND ANSWER MR. RABENA. OH CRAP.

“Miss Torres? Have you heard me? Do you have your passport ready?” Mr. Rabena asked me again. And I blinked my eyes, opened my mouth, hoping for a sound to come out.

“Y..Ye..Yes Sir. I filed for a passport since last year.” FINALLY. I managed to answer and I can’t remove the big smile on my face. What do I do now? OMG I love you mom! If it weren’t for you. OH MY. I couldn’t concentrate right now. Does this mean? OH YEAAAAAAAAHHH

Mr. Rabena stood up his desk and gestures to shake hands with me. I quickly stand up and reach for his hand too. “Congratulations Miss Torres, you got accepted for the exchange student program to FEU Korea. You will be leaving the country in a month and will be staying there for a year.” He hands me papers, and I didn’t even bother peeking at it. I’m so happy. I WILL BE FLYING TO KOREA. OMFG LEE JOON OPPAAA, WAIT FOR MEEEEE.

END OF FLASHBACK

Too long for a story, right? Yes, now you understand now why I’m in Korea right now. It’s been a month since I flew to korea and almost 2 months since that incident and I still couldn’t believe I’m in North Chungcheong, Korea. I’M BREATHING THE SAME AIIIRRRR AS MBLAQ. OMFG.

I live in this dorm, a block across FEU Korea. It’s already September and I’ve been attending Korean tutorials for a week already. I’m having a hard time now. It’s really difficult for me to learn a new language in only a span of a month, and I only know the basics like annyeooong, kamsahamnida or whatever it’s written, saengil chukha hamnida, and err, saranghaeyo. Lol

And currently, I’m trying to work on my homework. Yes, my Korean Language tutor sends me homework. I never expected this loads of work here in Korea T_T but I need to do this, I wanted this, and I need also to work hard since my University sent me here to study and not to take a wee vacation. I sigh as I sing to G.O.O.D Luv which is playing right now on my laptop. Bloo’s keeping me company since I’m only alone in this dorm, or apartment or whatever this is. The street where my apartment is located is really scary. Not much people pass by so if I look down outside, I’d only see the ground. This makes me sadder, that I only see people whenever I go to school, that’s why whenever I’m home, I can’t help but feel homesick and this strong want to go home. Good thing the dorm’s connected with wifi, but reaaaally slow, at least I get to chat with everyone at home, and my stuffed pal, Lucky Cow, is with me. But still I’m scared T_T

“Geurigo neukkige hae Geureon geudaen exactly good love”

*Knock Knock*

YAH. Who’s there?O_O I don’t remember expecting visitors? Probably it’s Kim ahjumma. She’s the care taker of the dorm. An old woman who lives in the fourth floor of this dorm. I don’t remember I need to pay the bills O_O as I know, everything is paid here by our university in the Philippines. Maybe she’ll just ask me and say hi? I don’t know. Kim ahjumma is such a nice woman. Prolly mid 40’s. she smiles often when I see her when I leave for school but she doesn’t visit me here in the room, not unless it’s important. Oh well, I just might check it. What should I say? Annyeong? Aiya this is really frustrating. X_X

I stood up and walked towards the door. I let out a sigh before opening the door. I grabbed the knob and slowly turned it around. Aiya why am I this nervous, probably a bad person is behind this door? Will he rob me? I have no money with me? Aiyaaa. T_T I have no other options and I opened the door with my eyes closed. I awkwardly said “annyeong!” and slowly opened my eyes. I saw boots. Wow, what fashion, brown boots? Is this a woman? Pants? And with blood? OMFG A KILLER. No stay calm, dirty pants? What? What happened to this woman? Aiya black shirt with open blue checkered polo? Dirty with scratches? What happened to this person? What the hell? Am I dreaming?  And when I was about to see the face, this person suddenly collapsed on top of me. WHAT THE HEEEEEELL.

 

END OF CHAPTER ONE.