/3/

Oh Sehun opened the door of his small flat fiercely. He slammed the door and took off both his coat and shoes, throwing them away in any place. With a tired face he went into the room, only to discover his flat mate making out with a teenager girl.

"Sehun-ah, you're com..."

Blam! Sehun just went straight into his room and shut the door immediately.

"Mian chagi, perhaps his mood isn’t too good right now..." he heard his sunbae hastily explained to his girlfriend.

Sehun rolled his eyes, didn’t care at all. He was in really bad mood right now. Sandara noona really drained his patience. That woman was really selfish. How could she make Sehun waiting for hours while she was shopping in department stores, and ended up not buying anything! Coupled with the carping and whining all night making his feeling just became worse.

Such a troublesome woman! Luckily, the pay is worth it. Besides, I would never meet her again after this...

"Sehun-ah, may I come in, huh?"

Without waiting for an answer, Byun Baekhyun—Sehun’s sunbae who is a university student—came into the room.

"Where’s your girlfriend? Disappear?" he asked coldly.

"Can’t you be a bit nicer? I sent her home because I want to talk to you," the older boy sat on the bed with worried face.

"Sunbae," cut Sehun, "what’s the advantage to be in relationship with a junior high student?"

His sunbae suddenly blushed. "You know."

"Of course, anyway she looks more like your nephew than your girlfriend."

"YA! Don’t be so mean. At least we love each other. Aigoo, don’t change the subject!"

Baekhyun then changed his expression into a serious gaze. "You accompany mature woman again, don’t you?”

Silent for a moment. "Yeah.”

"Oh Sehun, you’re really something! Do you know what you're doing?" his tone began to rise.

"I need the money. You know that. "

"Oh yes, I know. Well, next time try not to have such a materialistic boyfriend who asks for many luxurious things, so you don’t have to low yourself like this just to get money!"

"Sunbae!" snapped Sehun. His face was flushed, angry. "You don’t understand. This isn’t Luhan’s request. It’s my own will. He doesn’t even know anything. So, don’t talk bad about him!"

The boy in front of him sighed impatiently. "You're sick, Sehun. Love has blinded you. I talk like this because I care about you! I can’t bear to see you doing part time job until night to earn money. How about your school?  And how can a good high school kids like you turn into older woman’s just for the sake of money? You’re crazy Sehun, crazy!"

The other boy clenched his hands, trying hard not to hit the person who actually he respected a lot. With a hoarse voice full of anger, he said, "Get out of my room now. I’m tired and need to rest before work tomorrow. If you really care about me, get out!"

Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest, but knowing it’d be useless, he finally just answered. "I guess it’s just a waste of time to talk to a brat like you.”

After the older one got out of the room, anger started to fill Sehun’s mind again. He took a chair beside the bed and threw them firmly to the door. He dropped all the books and ornaments on the shelf to the floor violently. He slammed the table lamp beside his bed until that poor thing broke out with a loud voice. He also kicked the bed, creating the sound of creaking.

Panting hard, Sehun finally sat on his bed, not caring his feet that almost stepped on the broken glass. After few minutes passed and he’d come into his senses again, his hands slowly opened a small drawer beside the bed, taking a bank saving book.

He opened it, carefully saw the numbers listed in it. Just a little more. Only one million won again. Be patient, Oh Sehun. You can do it.

Suddenly his mind flashed to Luhan. What is his Lulu doing now? He can’t be crying, can he? Did I hurt him? Ah, of course, Oh Sehun. You cancelled the date easily! Not only that, you also pretend that you don’t remember that important appointment... he cursed himself.

He reached into his pocket, looking for the phone. In flash of light he typed short message to his boyfriend’s number.

To: Baby Lulu

Hyung, what are you doing? I’ve just finished training. So tired, I want to be hugged by you T.T

Three seconds later, his cell phone vibrated. Message Not Send written on the screen.
 

Sehun raised his eyebrows in surprise. He then tried calling Luhan’s number, but not connected. He tried again several times, still same result.

"Ah, damn it! What’s going on actually? Aish, jinjja!" he yelled in frustration as he laid down bed. After a while, he felt bored. Getting out of bed, he headed to a small study table in the corner. Quite a long time he wrote some things in his diary. After that he cleaned the messiness that he’d made before.

After midnight finally he could sleep after kissing his boyfriend’s photo. He wished his boyfriend were in his room, sleeping beside him, hugging his waist, and saying, "Good night, Oh Sehun" to him in his usual soft tone.

If only it could happen…

.

Several days had passed since the incident and Luhan was still in grief. The pretty boy kept telling he was fine but his action showed the opposite. Kai knew that. He knew Luhan often daydreaming when he was alone. He knew Luhan often sobbed at midnight. He knew Luhan kept calling Sehun’s name in his sleep. He knew Luhan often silent and looked at his picture with Sehun with a sad face. He knew. He knew all those.

Kai tried to treat Luhan as well as he could. He cooked a special meal just for Luhan, but must be satisfied when the boy who was four years older only ate a few bites and said, "I'm not hungry."

Luhan’s body became thinner and thinner. It looked like he didn’t have any spirit to live anymore. He also always locked himself in the room. Kai sometimes found it very frustrating. He really wanted to go to Sehun and beat him right in face. How dare that bastard made Luhan be like this! If only Luhan were his lover, of course he would love him to death. Well, but of course it's impossible.

Until finally one night, Kai gently knocked on the door of his flat mate’s bedroom, asking for permission to come in.

"What’s wrong, Kai?" Luhan who was lying facedown on his bed asked. His eyes were swollen. Surely crying that jerk again

"Can I sleep here? I have a nightmare,” he lied.

Luhan was silent for a moment. He didn’t say anything, just patted the empty spot next to him, allowing his flat mate.

Then Kai laid down beside Luhan. The smaller boy shared his blanket. Their eyes met briefly.
 

"Hyung ..."

"Hm?"

"Has he given you a call yet?"

Luhan remained silent again, didn’t think Kai would suddenly raise this topic. "My cell phone is broken. I don’t know he was trying to contact me or not," finally he answered.

"He didn’t come here?"

"Sehun doesn’t know where I live."

"Then... Why don’t you come to his school? He has club activities, right? Maybe he's worried."

"Listen to me, Kai," Luhan sighed, "it’s not that easy. Maybe you don’t understand because you’re still a kid."

Kai felt his heart torn out. I’m a kid? I'm in the same age as your boyfriend, hyung! So all this time you only see me as a little boy who doesn’t know anything? When are you going to see me as a man?

"But hyung. I think …"

"Ssh," Luhan interrupted. He was too tired to argue now, especially on this topic. His hands hugged the younger one and patted his back softly. Kai felt his shoulders shaking, shock of the action.

"My mother used to do this when I had a nightmare," he explained before being asked. He continued patting the other’s back and sometimes it gently.

Kai closed his eyes. He couldn’t lie that his heart was beating very fast now. He could only hope the person who’s lying beside him didn’t hear it. With Luhan in his arms, touching him softly, it felt so damn comfortable.

The following night, he would knock on the door again, and Luhan would let him to go in and slept beside him. The next day, they did the same. He sometimes wondered whether Luhan was disturbed or not, but actually the pretty boy didn’t mind. Even when Kai said, "Hyung I don’t have a nightmare tonight..." Luhan would still patting his bed and said, "Come here. Stay with me."

Kai was happy. Sure. He didn’t care if Luhan maybe just made use of him. Even if the older boy would throw him away after his relationship with Sehun became better, he really didn’t mind.

.

"Sehun!"

Luhan blinked. It was nightmare again. Always the same dream, when Sehun kissed that woman. Despite trying hard to forget the incident almost two weeks ago, the shadow of the incident still continued in his brain. He turned his head, and the first thing he saw was Kai’s handsome face. The boy was sleeping like an angel, sinless and full of peacefulness.

He moved his feet out of the room after enveloped Kai with blanket. Without wearing a coat he left the flat. Walking along the corridor, out of the building, down the cold streets of Seoul... He himself didn’t know where to go. Just let his feet lead him, taking him to wherever he wanted.

Seoul’s air felt really wet and cold, suffocating. Winter winds all his body. Although the snow has melted, the weather was still freezing. Luhan who was wearing only a shirt and long pants felt he nearly froze to death, but he didn’t care.

The place where our first date was… he thought as he passed a small café with Victorian style on the roadside.

His legs went farther, passing the city park near the university. Here is where Sehun and I usually meet. He went closer to a bubble tea shop at the corner of the park which was still closed, watching the little shop with his eyes. Sehun really likes bubble tea... Does he still come here every day as usual?

Luhan kept going, who knew how long he’d walked alone in the middle of the night as people who didn’t have a purpose like this. And finally he stopped. Without realizing, he was already on the bridge. Luhan also didn’t know how he ended up there.

He looked at the streets of Seoul which were still busy down there. Land was so far from his current position now. People which passing by looked so small. He was silent for a long time there, staring at a road under the bridge.

If he fell from up here, would he die? His thought began to screwed.

Then suddenly a crazy idea came into his mind.

If I fell and was injured, Sehun would care about me, right? He would love me again. He also would leave that woman because he felt sorry for me. Yes, why don’t I come up with this idea earlier?

Luhan slowly climbed the barrier of the bridge. The street below there looked so inviting. He felt his hands that clutching the edge of the barrier began to shaking hard.

Sehun will change after this, I believe.

And he began to release one of his hands…

~TBC~

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