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Kikwang’s POV [Third person]

            Kikwang sighed heavily, and felt like the sound echoed in the empty dormitory. He flung himself down on the couch, one arm over his eyes, struggling with all his might against the tears that burned behind his eyes. What do I do? he thought. He’s all I think about…but I’m not the one he’s thinking of. Kikwang let out a slow breath, fighting a losing battle against the endless flow of tears. He’s in love…he’s happy…so…I’m happy. Kikwang gave a teary laugh. Maybe if I tell myself that enough, it will become the truth. Kikwang felt exhausted. Maybe it was the tears, the stress from the week’s hectic schedule, or the throbbing of an injured bird in his chest, but Kikwang felt sleep wash over him like a wave. Black arms of unconsciousness wrapped themselves around Kikwang, and he blissfully handed himself over, praying not to dream of Yoseob.

Yoseob’s POV [Third person]

            Yoseob headed back to the dorms from practice, enjoying the walk back and the solitude it offered. The only bad part was that it left him alone with his thoughts, and he had been running from those all week. They had schedules in the morning but had received the afternoon off. Dongwoon and Junhyung both went to visit their families, while Doojoon and Hyunseung went to meet with friends. Yoseob had headed to the CUBE building to practice. For the past couple of hours he had been steadily working, and it helped to keep his mind off Kikwang…that idiot.

            Yoseob hadn’t seen Kikwang in about a week, since Kiki had been so busy with his individual schedules. They hadn’t even texted or called like they normally would, just brief exchanges. Things like Hi and How are you and How did it go today? It made Yoseob want to scream with frustration. He found himself typing back, Terrible, I miss you, or It was awful because you weren’t there. Then he would delete it. Fine, how was your day? Lies.

           Yoseob made it back to the dorms, unlocking the door and kicking off his shoes. It was quiet inside, just a gentle glow from the afternoon sun drifting though the windows along with the sound of Seoul traffic. Everyone must still be out, Yoseob thought, and made his way into the living room before he stopped short at what he saw. Kikwang lay sprawled out on the couch, one arm flung over his head, the other laying across his chest, one leg half falling off the couch, fast asleep. Yoseob couldn’t suppress a smile as he walked over to Kikwang, watching him sleep for a few moments. He then walked over to a nearby closet to grab a light blanket, and gently draped it over Kikwang, stopping midway when Kikwang shifted in his sleep.  Yoseob pulled the blanket up over Kikwang and then carefully sat down on the edge of couch, making sure not to disturb the sleeping boy.

          Yoseob allowed his eyes to take in the sleeping face that so few got to see, his eyes greedily soaking in every detail. He saw Kikwang all the time, and his features, his every expression were engraved on Yoseob’s heart. But Yoseob loved seeing Kikwang’s sleeping face the most, because he was one of the only people that got to see it, and it meant it was special. He reached out a timid hand and gently brushed Kikwang’s inky black hair that had fallen across his forehead. Kikwang moved in his sleep towards the touch, and Yoseob jerked his hand back, fearful that Kikwang might wake. But Kikwang merely settled back down snuggling deeper into the couch, mumbling softly. Is he talking in his sleep? Yoseob thought, leaning closer to try to catch the words.

         “Yo…” Kikwang muttered softly in his sleep.

        Eh? ‘Yo’? I wonder what he is dreaming about?Yoseob pressed his ear as close to Kikwang’s head as he dared, fearful of waking him.

         “Yoseob…”Kikwang murmured, his breath hot on Yoseob’s ear. Yoseob felt his heartbeat flutter wildly and a blush steal across his cheeks. “Seobbie…”

         Yoseob jerked back from Kikwang, putting a hand to his mouth to suppress his laughter. He watched Kikwang shift again in his sleep, with a soft smile on his sleeping face. He’s dreaming about me, Yoseob thought, something that had been aching inside his chest now soaring.

        Grinning now, Yoseob crouched down by the still sleeping Kikwang, and once again indulged himself in brushing Kikwang’s hair. It’s so soft, he thought, running the tips of his fingers through it. Yoseob allowed his eyes to wander back to Kikwang’s face.

        “Kiki, you’re an idiot.”

         Yoseob brought his face level to Kikwang’s sleeping face.

         “I heard everything you said to me that day, when you thought I was sleeping.” Yoseob blushed slightly. “I know what you feel, Kikwang.” Yoseob stared at Kikwang’s sleeping face, half willing him to wake up, so that he could voice these feelings out loud for real, half willing him to stay asleep, so that he could linger and gaze a little longer.

          “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” Yoseob questioned softly. “I thought…I thought you would say something to me for real after that, and not just when you think I’m asleep. It upset me, Kikwang. Things were the same. You pretended not to see me, like you still felt nothing. I thought that maybe you regretted your feelings.” Yoseob smiled softly down at Kikwang, feeling the hot sting of tears beginning to prick his eyes.

        “Even if you feel like we can’t be together, I’m fine with being by your side.” Lies.  “No, I’m not fine, I wish you would let me decide for myself what makes me happy. Because I would answer that being with you makes me happy.” Yoseob sighed softly, blinking away his tears.

         “I told you I was in love with someone. It’s true. It’s you, Kikwang. It’s always been you,” Yoseob whispered. Always. And just like you promised to be there for me, I promise to be there for you. Yoseob rose quietly, and leaned over Kikwang and brushed his lips softly over Kikwang’s full ones, lightly as a butterfly’s wings, and pulled away.  Yoseob stood quietly, and brought a trembling hand to his lips. It’s the same, he thought. The same as last time. The same taste, the same sensation, like vanilla and the sun’s warmth, he thought. Something was fluttering like mad in his chest, the warmth seeping down and the fluttering rising to meet it.

         “Love you, Kiki,” Yoseob whispered once more, turning slowly away from the sleeping figure he loved.  

        Yoseob was pulled up short when a hand shot out to grab his wrist.