It has been about a week since the breakdown in the kitchen. It was pretty embarrasing and out of plan, but I just couldn't stop the tears from flowing, finally telling Kai. I had it in my mind for quite sometime now, he deserves to know that he's lost his memories, but I didn't think that he'd already knew. It was quite shocking to me too. I mean, he knew it all along, he said he had figured it out when he heard Luhan talking to me. I mean I knew he was a genius, but not this good. 

He said he had wanted to try, you know, give me all he can. But he also said he needs time to fix things, to figure it out, and get him memories back sometime soon. He said he wants to remember too, and so do I. He was spending more time with Luhan, taking him out for ice-cream, dropping him to school, and picking him up. Reading to him, if I didn't know better, I'd say he loved the kid more than me, and it kindda made me happy and jealous at the same time.

But the little gestures from him were enough for me, like holding my hand under the table, kissing my cheeks as a thanks, hugging me for a second longer than what is usual for a friendly hug. Watching late night movies with me, and falling asleep on my chest by the end of it, talking for hours about what and all he remember of Paris, which sadly is nothing more than the hospital. He's been having constant headaches for the past few days, during which he ends up in my room, forces me to bed, and falls asleep cuddling into me, I find it cute and bothersome at the same time.

Why bothersome?

Its not like I don't enjoy it when Kai needs me to fall asleep, it's the fact that its his headache, which seems to return every few hours, even though he doesn't show it half the time I know that there is something wrong. His frown in too much of a give away.

It isn't always like that though, half the time, he behaves as if he is just my roommate, and nothing more, and thats especially when I am fresh out of the bathroom, in the mornings, shirtless. I usually do that, but now it was an extra for seducing Kai again, I mean, my heart and mind maybe completely fine with Kai taking his time, but my body certainly does not agree. I am frustrated and annoyed at my own self right now, its not a particularly thrilling experience to wake up, with stains in your boxers, after you had a wet dream about your husband everyother day. It leaves me ually frustrated and , but since I have no other choice, I would just satisfy myself in the shower, thinking about our past experiences. I can't help it, my husband is too y for his own good, and that bastard doesn't even realise it!

Like the other day, we had gone out grocery shopping, and he was wearing this, deep necked shirt, the one which drives me crazy, and he knows - I mean he knew that. Anyways, lets just say, by the time we got home, I had a BABY little problem throbbing in my jeans, and a smug looking Kai after having counted the number of girls that had asked for his number. Its at those times, when he is a total dickhead, that I wanna strangle him to death. 

Presently, I am in the kitchen, yes, the historic place of the breakdown, preparing lunch for Kai and Luhan. Kai has to go to office today, and Luhan to school, and today I start practice in the play Baek hyung was talking about. I haven't told Kai about it yet, I wanted it to be a surprise for him, it's not everyday that I get to show off my skills.  

I felt someone creep up on me, and hug my waist from the back, well it was obvisouly Kai, who else?

"Do I really have to go sehunnie?!" He asked, his chin on my shoulder. he sounded like Luhan asking not to go school, with puppy dog eyes, and a cute pout. It made me want to kiss him. And I would've if it wasn't for the fact that we already were!

Yes, we were kissing, in the kitchen, and completely by accident. I mean, all I did was turn my head slightly and BAM!! we were kissing. Well, we weren't exactly kissing, it was more like our lips touching thats all. But both of our surprised eyes closed, as we regained our consiciousness and and had started kissing, slowly and softly. I slightly opened my eyes, wanting to see Kai's face, his eyes were open now too. We were both looking at each other. He turned me around, to kiss me fully. His hands had tightened around my waist, and his kiss had become more forceful. My hand around his neck, bringing him closer.

It was becoming hot in here, as we continued our now a bit rushed and needy kiss. Kai was bringing me closer and closer to his body, as much as he could. He let out a groan as he started to rub himself against me. And as soon as  it was out, he jumped back. Shocked, at the sound he had just made. He was flushed, and I know I was too, after the fully fledged make out session with my husband. 

And then he just left without a word, still flushed, and in a hurry. I knew he was kindda embarrased to make that sound in front of me, but I didn't care much. I was just disappointed that he stopped just before the good part.

Panting from the session we just had in our bedroom, I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, wincing at the slight pain in my . Kai was just a bit too rough tonight. But it's okay, I don't blame him. After all we just got married a few hours ago, and he's probably excited for the honeymoon. Though I don't see the big deal, I mean its going to be the same right, only that we now have the legal rights to have with each other?! 

Ha~ as if that could've stopped Kai before! He was as as a guy could get, I mean, within the month of our relationship, I was familiar with all the possible '' spots of the university. And would often be dragged out of class at random moments and walk back with a slight limp. As if the kids need anymore hint than that! the worst part was, it was brushing off on me too. Usually I am the calm and the -whatever- kindda guy, but then nowadays I really look forward to being dragged out of class.

Anyways, I pourned the glass of chilled water down my throat, and let out a groan when I felt a pair of hands, messaging my , slowly.

"Ah~~Kkamjonggie...~~not again...please? We have a flight to catch tomorrow!" I breathed out as he started nibbling on my ear.

"But Hunnie~~ I haven't had enough of my wifey...he's just too delicious. I can't keep my hand off him, especially when he is making all these dirty sounds right into my ear....what do you think I should do to him sehunnie?!" He asked...totally curious, palming my once soft and on my neck---

 Well, what happened after that is quiet obvious, and I just can't wait for it to happen again. I miss my old naughty and Kai, sure this Kai is super sweet and caring, but he's just not the same one. I mean, he just too careful around me. And I know this is just going to lead him to be even more awkward with me. I just let it go with a shrug. Not wanting to think about the whole situation and pretented that it didn't happen.

I looked at the clock, it was about time to wake Luhan up and remind my y roommate that he has to leave within the next half an hour. Well, I decided to give Kai a bit more time and went to Luhan, just to see that he was already awake and almost ready.

"Daddy look....lulu got ready on his own!!" he ran to me and kissed me on my cheek. I smiled a proud smile as I lifted him off the ground and took him to the living room, where Kai too was ready, still a bit flushed, but better. He had his suit on, and he was fumbling with the tie. Gosh, when will this guy learn how to tie a tie?

I slapped his hands away and started to untie the knot Kai had made. I within about 2 minutes, an awesomely tied tie was around Kai neck. Luhan clapped from the couch and went running to Kai, who looked thankfully at me. 

"Look Kai daddy, lulu got ready on his own like you!!" Kai chuckled as he picked him up, following me to the table and place him on the chair getting ready for breakfast. Luhan, too excited about the singing class, ate in a hurry, and was tugging at Kai's jacket to make eat faster. Kai almost swallowed the whole thing before finally getting up fom the table to put on his shoes and walking towards Luhan. The latter jumping on the doorway, asking his daddy to hurry up!

Kai almost ran to the door, but paused and turned back, and ran back to me, placing a small kiss on my lips. And withdrew almost immediately, surprised at his own action. I just chuckled at his actions, and pinched his cheeks before pushing him out the door, and closing it.

I went to the bathroom, to get ready for my 'appointment' with Baek hyung. I almost skipped down the stairs 15 minutes later, totally excited for the practice sessions!! I reached there just on time, everyone was waiting for me it seems, so we started as soon as I arrived. Baekhyun hyung introduing me to the cast during the practice.

All the females present there were giving a look of pure want, and a few of them even came and asked for my number, but it just lasted till Baekhyun hyung revealed that I am already married. Too bad ladies, I already have Kai. We practiced till about 5pm. I couldn't go on. Luhan would be home within the next half an hour and then Kai by 7pm. I thanked Baekhyun hyung for letting me take part in the play. He was all smiles and a little bit more touchy than usual. But I was okay with it, since he happens to be the director of the whole thing, I didn't mind much.

Baekhyun hyung offered to drop me off at home, and I agreed since I was running late. But, apparently Baekhyun hyung had other plans, instead of taking me home, he took me too a cafe.

"Yah!! hyung...why did you bring me here? I am supposed to be at home!!" I asked him annoyed.

"I know Sehun-ah, but please bear with me for a bit. I just wanted to talk to you..." he said, he had a sad and distant look on his face. I felt bad for him, momentarily forgetting about home.

"What happened hyung?" I asked, geniuenly concerned.

"Haven't you ever wondered Sehun, why I was so attached to you the moment I saw you?" he asked me, not facing me. Looking at his cup of capuccino.

"Yes...but hyung--"

"I have to tell you Sehun-ah, I can't let you misunderstand my intentions..." I nooded at him to continue, not like the direction on this conversation....

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I arrived home way after 6:30, thinking about what Baekhyun hyung had told me, and it made me look at him in a whole new way. It was almost scary, how a person like him, so flamboyant and cheerful would have this side to him. So dedicated and sinciere. I entered the apartment and inwardly released a sigh of relief, see that Luhan's shoes were very much there. Damn, I have to go apologise to him, I bet he was scared all alone in the house. But, I was welcomed with a eeire silence, which confused me. I mean, it isn't supposed to be like that is it? Usually Luhan comes jumping at me. I moved towards the living room, finding a pair of black shoes discarded on the floor. Aish~~that stupid Kkammjong, when will he ever learn to keep his shoes back---wait a second, what are Kai's shoes doing here?

I ran to his room to find it empty, even my room was empty. No sign of Kai anywhere. I went to check up on Luhan, to see if he too is missing. I saw Luhan sleeping peacefully, but my eyes trailed off to the chair beside his bed, only to find Kai there, his hands in covering his face. He was breathing hard. It was like he was...hyperventilating?? if you may. I ran to him, and got his hands off his face to get a good look at him. He was flushed, and he was sweating, his eyes were unfocused. I paniced, I have seen Kai in worse conditions, but this was completely different. He actually had tears running down his eyes, and I knew that they were tears of pain.

I lifted him up and ran to our room, and placed him the bed, lay his head gently on the cushion, i called up his office to check on his schedule for tomorrow and cancel it. They understood, after all, they knew his situation too. I rushed back to the kitchen and prepared a cold pack for him. And went back to him. He was still sweating, profously, even with the A/c on. It had me worried. I put the cold pack on his head. And checked if he was running a fever. I ran back a few hours, wondering if Kai had shown any indication of a fever, he didn't, he was pretty much normal till before the kiss. 

Was this the after effect of the kiss?

I mean, we only kissed right? 

Did he push himself too much trying to remember?

He is going to be fine right?

I just sat there beside him, running my hand over his hair. He was still awake, his eyes shut tight and his hands balled into a fist. I got up to call up mom, I didn't know what to do...I was completely on my own, and it scared me. I also had to call up Baek hyung, and tell him that I won't be able to make it for the practice tomorrow.

"Sehun-ah, don't leave. Please don't leave me..." sobbed Kai, I sat back on the spot next to him on the bed. Gently resuming his hair.

"I won't leave Kai...I am here..." I whispered to him. Luhan, I thought. He has singing lessons today. And as if just my thoughts were enough, my Luhan was standing right at the door, a worried look on his face as he looked at Kai and me. 

"Is daddy gonna be okay dad?!" he asked in his soft voice, walking towards Kai, and gently wiping a bead of sweat fom his forehead. I nodded in reply, not able to find my voice. My heart was in pain too, seeing Kai like this. I wanted Kai to be fine too.

"Don't worry Daddy, Lulu will get ready for his music class on his own too okie? You can take care of Kai daddy!" he said and rushed out of the room, before I could even utter a single word.

"Sehun-ah....no, don't....don't leave me...I am sorry...don't go." he mumbled again. Now I was confused, why is he sorry?

"Kai-ah...it's okay...I am not going..." I cooed again into his ears.

"Sehun-ah...no....please please...I promise I won't let it happen again...please....come back home...I love you!!" now the wheels in my head started turning. 'I promise I won't let it happen again' ? 'come back home' ? and then an 'I love you'   looking at Kai right now, I am guessing the he is, in fact,  not awake, he is just dreaming. And I knew exactly what he had been dreaming about.

I pushed past my mom, who seemed to be shocked to find me at her door step, I mean, I hadn't given her any warning about my arrival. But she let it slip. I went straight to my old room and jumped onto the bed, with tears running down my face.

how could that jerk do this to me? I thought he said he loved me. I wept and wept into the cushion. Remembering the  events of today evening as clear as crystal.

' I was sitting at our favorite at our favorite restaurant, waiting for Kai to come. It was our first aniversary. A special day for the both of us. The day we finally, after days of agony, confessed and became a couple. I sat there, waiting for about 2 hours, my untouched coffee was cold now. And the customers had already began to leave. I was among the few that was still sitting there. And soon it was time for the retaurant to close. I was puzzeled, did Kai say the he couldn't make it today? So I went to his office to check upon him. And there, I saw it. It was that guy, Minho, Kai's colleague. And now probably lovers. why else would they be kissing each other? groping each other? It was probably the worst feeling in the world. Watching your boyfriend kissing someone else. Especially if that someone else knew you were standing at the doorway. And I knew Minho knew it, I could tell by the smirk on his face. So I ran, ran from that place, my real life nightmare.'

And I had straight away come home. Ignoring his calls, and text messages. I just lay there for about an hour, before I felt the bed dipping towards one side, and a warm body pressed against mine. I knew it from the smell that it was Kai, I  knew from his silence that he was sorry, I knew from the way his hand wound around my waist that he wants me back. But I made no move, no sound. We just lay there.

"Sehun-ah....please don't leave me....i am sorry...please...don't go" he said, his voice hoarse.

"Kai-ah...my life was filled with laughter, and love from all those who I had hoped from, it was all i had wanted. Until you entered my life like a storm and blew it away, you made me want more than what I had, hope for more than just love, it was all you fault. And in the end I did get what I wanted from you, all my smiles were for you now, all my love wa for you now, and I was rewarded with what I had hoped for and more. But then it changed, Kai, why or how, I don't know, yet I learnt to live with it, the cold I felt at nights, the loneliness I felt even in the most crowded areas, waiting for you at the table on our aniversary. I should have never let you go there today...not today. But nothing, nothing in this world could've prepared me for this...so I am sorry Kai, but I am going to stay right here. You can go now." I managed to say to him. Letting out all my feelings.

"Sehun-ah....no...please please....I promise that I won't let it happen again...please come back home...I love you!!" he had said.

I did forgive him eventually. After Kai had resigned from his old job and signed up with a new complany. I let out a slight smile. He was finally remembering things!!

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yesh...another chapter for this week...how bad is this one?!

come on...tell me...i wanna make it better!!

btw...all suggestions and Idea'sare welcome!

love ya'll...even you silent readers!! ^_^

Seeya soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!!

<3<3

oh and....sorry for the typos...fell free to tell me if you find any (which i am sure there are!!)