Someone's PoV

For the past six months, this is the only place I can be free. I don’t need to think of anything about the future. This is the only place I can think of my past, the past I wish to live in my future.

This place, the rooftop of SM is the only place fits me. When no one around, just me, wind and fans’ voice, screaming from the outside of the building.

No more past is left for me. Everything is gone, leaving me.

I lost it last year…

Some people have evidence of their past, me? There’s nothing left.

I buried all my past in my head. I’m the only one who knows the story of my past.

No one else knows and able to tell me what my past is...

I am alone in this world. I mean it; alone…

Some might think there’s no use crying over the past. For me? Crying over my past is the only thing I can do, the only thing left about my past is to cried over it…

The day I stepped my foot in this country, I realized that I’m all alone.

Owned by Mr. Soman.

Grandfather and grandmother had died
My father was the only child.
My mother also the only child.
And they both had gone, forever…
 

Yeah… what a perfect life! I’m all alone in this world.

You wanna how it feels like to be me? I’ll tell you!

You were born with beloved parent, a perfect family.

With mommy who spent her life to take care of you 24 hours a day

With hardworking daddy who wakes you up every morning, playing with you at night, teach you how to solve your homework even when he knows he’s way too tired, and ended up with bedtime stories and goodnight kiss.

They teach you since you were kids to be a strong woman.

They teach you how to build a house with block games

They teach you how to dress a doll

They teach you how to make cute cupcakes

They teach you how to take care of a puppy

They teach you how to catch a dragonfly

They teach you how to ride a bicycle

They teach you how to do jump-robe

They teach you how to build a tree house

They even teach you how to climb a tree

And when you are grown-up they told you to stay in boarding school, so you won’t miss a formal education, even when you don’t wanna be in that school makes you realize you should stay there, to make you Mom and Dad proud of you!

You make them promise to pick you up from school in every holiday, and they never miss one change to pick you.

Yes a perfect family life.

Until that stormy cold night kills them…

I kill them…

They push themselves to pick me at school, in a stormy snowy night.

I cause the accident

I cause them gone forever

I’m the one who cause them to make promise

No more chance to celebrate Christmas with them

In Christmas Eve they’re gone forever...

It’s not the truck’s driver fault,

Yet it isn’t God’s fault,

It’s purely my fault.

Because of “They make promise”

Because of my words “Don’t make promise if you can’t keep it Mom, Dad”

I kill them…

I almost killed myself back in US; I drove my car to its maximum speed, too bad I only ended up with 5 days coma in ICU.

The guilty pressure

The nightmare

The lonely world

I will enjoy it for the rest of my life…

Lucky me, I only need to pay my parent’s debt, in return I’ve killed them….

Life that I live today is the remaining piece of the pain in my past.
I have volunteered myself to serve Mr. Soman, here.
I have no desire to live.
I was in this building to pay off my parents debts to Mr. Soman
I’m a living robot that follows the wishes of her master.
All I could do just it, work for him until I earn the money to cover all my parents debt to Mr. Soman.

When the payment is over, so is my life…

So please don’t you ever ask me which guy in EXO or SM artists looks good for me.

And don’t ask the author-nim which guy I’ll ended up.

None of them! They face was all the same, a plain paper face….

I’m not intended to start a romance.

Remember, when the payment is over, so is my life.