She was seated among the other fans who bought VIP tickets, difference would be he bought it himself for her. All the time she was having a great time, everyone was actually. But he was far greater himself. He made sure everyone there present was having a blast. All the while, she forgot the she’s about to go deaf any soon. If not for the ending wherein she had the most tremendous ringing she ever had.

                She can’t stop herself from tearing up: definitely because it was surely hurting her, and; the utter terror this might be the last time she’ll hear him singing, his voice. She wiped her tears every now and then, fearing he might see it and then relentless questions will be asked.

                After the concert, all proceeded for an after party at a bar. She took refuge first in a bathroom stall, crying herself out while wishing the ringing to stop. It has nonetheless soothed, but it still hurts. Her phone vibrated and she knew who it was calling. It was at least after an hour has passed that she was sober from crying and that the ringing on her ears has stopped. Armed with a congratulatory gift, inside it was last night’s letter she wrote for him, she went back as soon as she finished fixing herself.

                The place was thudding with music, flooded with exclusive guests and other YG artists. She greeted everyone she knew warmly, bowing and small chatting every now and then. Her gaze was all over the place looking for him. Finally, she heard he was in a VIP room and that he was looking for her. He heart raced as she heard that. When she was there, she slowly opened the door stopping when she heard someone talking.

                “Hyung, do you like Dara-noona?”

                She heard him laugh. “What? That stupid noona? No. I mean c’mon. She’s older than me and she’s stupid. She’s just a noona, ok?”

                She felt tears roll down her cheeks and without knowing she had the door slammed closed. It’s true. Now she knows it’s true that hurtful things repeat on your head when you hear them, especially if you hear them from someone you care for.

                Clouded with tears and thoughts she made a decision.

---

                It has been a year of a rollercoaster ride. And now, officially, she is just another Korean living ordinarily. The people have understood her; there were fans who were so supporting and caring and of course, there are narrow-minded who criticized her and her condition. It was hard, after living as idol before. But then, there are other reasons why it’s harder than it feels.

                Today, she challenged herself to go out without her aids. The doctor advised her to have one though she knows herself it would be useless in the end. Now and then she would have ringing in her ears, but she doesn’t mind now.

                The clear sky above her and the warm weather embracing her. How she silently wished it could get any better than this. And the Han River was explicitly calming. She lay down, with her hoodie and mask on. She can’t help but relive some of the moments as idol. She felt blessed to have her now ex-bandmates, how they helped her make through it.  She remembered how they reacted when they finally learned her condition.

                Everyone was crying on their dorm. It was after the day when she officially resigned, after talking with YG. They were all in the living room.

                “What about Jiyong, does he know?” Bom asked in between her cries.

                “He’ll know anyway.” She coldly said.

                “Does he know you like him, noona?” Chae Rin asked.

                “He doesn’t have to. It’s useless anyway. What for? I mean officially, now I’m not a part of 2NE1. Tomorrow, YG, I, and with you girls, will hold a press conference about it. After that I’m moving back to my parents.”

                It was excruciatingly painful to leave them all behind. But then, it will be all worth it. After all, it won’t mean a thing for him. He did not even went up to her after all what happened, not even once. She wiped her tears before standing up. She still has to run an errand for her mom.

                She couldn’t believe her eyes. Actually she doesn’t want to believe her eyes. She closed her eyes firmly and lifted her eyelids again. Her eyes weren’t fooling her. It was Jiyong standing just a little more than a meter from her, surrounded with some fans.

                She didn’t care. Or don’t want to care, so she walked the opposite way. If he’s here to mess her life again, he better not. She has, after all, no idol image to protect for. She did not hear him calling for her. Finally, she vaguely heard him call the attention of everyone through a megaphone.

                “Excuse me everyone. May I get your attention for awhile?” He called. She did not stop walking but she slowed down.

                “Including you please.” She stopped, never looking back though.

                “Alright. You can stay that way.”

                She waited for him to say more when finally she vaguely heard the group of fans that was now blocking her way screamed. She wondered why, when at last, she felt someone held her arms. She knew it was Jiyong, but she stayed nonetheless firm, not moving a bit.

                “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” She did not answer or anything.

                “You can’t hear me?” She can, honestly, thanks to the silence the fans are giving them. But she pretended not to. When he cannot take it, he pulled her so she can face him. When she turned around, she saw him kneeling down which made her heart squeeze a little. It squeezed more when he was finally in tears.

                “It’s alright if you can’t hear me. At least they will hear me.” He stood up, grabbing the megaphone; he turned to the small group of fans surrounding them. “Guys, listen to what I will say so that I will have witnesses.” The fans eagerly nodded in silence.

                “I have a confession to make. I’m the one who’s stupid, a huge irony because I often call you that. I always put you through pain, always being hard on you. Always playing you.” There. He was really just playing her. She was about to turn around and leave when the fans stopped her.

                “Thank you.” He said to the fans. “I am stupid because I can’t believe what I was feeling for you. Not when I finally got to read your letter last night. I’m stupid for letting you go. I’m stupid for letting you go all the pain all by yourself. I am stupid because I’m in love with you and I can’t even admit it. I’m stupid for not confessing all of these before that I have wasted a year.” He stopped to clear his creaking voice.

               “It was hell with you. But I can’t even describe how it was without you.” He was now walking towards her. And now, she was crying as well. He finally stopped when he was right in front of her. He dropped the megaphone. He cupped her face and wiped her tears.

                “I love you, Dara. I have been ever since and, I always will.” He said, and finally, kissing her with all his heart.

      Fin.

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advance thank you again for those who will read. :)