Problems with the Mind

• Repression – the mind’s essential strategy for hiding desires and fears

"Yesung!~" Kyuhyun happily shouted.

Jongwoon bit his lower lip. Kyuhyun was once again calling him. He calmly stood up from his desk, leaving the mountains of paperwork for him to finish.

"What do you want now?" Jongwoon asked as he tried to contain the irritation for the younger. Kyuhyun has been abusing his higher position over Jongwoon, treating him like personal slave.

"I want you Yesung," said Kyuhyun with honey-dripped voice. He looked up and smiled sweetly to the gaping co-worker.

"W-What?" Jongwoon stuttered. He must be blushing now considering the heat coursing through his body.
Kyuhyun stood up from his chair, one that's more comfortable than Jongwoon's, and took long strides to make his way in front of the smaller.

"I," Kyuhyun pointed to himself, "want," those cursed long fingers slid down Jongwoon's torso, "you," he laced their hand together.

"I-I," Jongwoon stuttered as he looked at their intertwined hands. He never knew that the other wants him. Could it be that Cho Kyuhyun bosses his around because he actually likes Jongwoon?

"To play Starcraft with me," Kyuhyun grinned as he dragged the dumbstrucked one to his table.

"What?!" Jongwoon was angry, if it's even possible he can feel his blood boiling.

"Let's have a Team Play," said Kyuhyun as he plopped down on his chair again, "Yesung Hyung can use my laptop... I'll use the desktop."

Jongwoon fisted his small hands as he bit his bottom lip. He had been repressing too much loathing and anger for the younger that he wants to punch him square in the face. But of course he can't. Even though Kyuhyun was 4 years younger than him he can't hurt, even lay a single finger, on him since he was their company's genius employee. Kyuhyun managed to snatch a higher position than Jongwoon, who had been working for three years, because of his brilliant mind and it wouldn't take any longer time till the younger will be promoted again. How Jongwoon wished that they promote him as soon as possible, Kyuhyun would leave their department and he will no longer have his fingers wrapped around Jongwoon as a slave. The younger will surely rub it on his face and boast about his high intelligence but he couldn't care less.

'I would have punched you,' Jongwoon snarled in a whisper but he was sure Kyuhyun heard him for the other was amusedly staring at him. "Sorry Kyuhyun-ssi but unlike you, I don't have a genius mind at my disposal so I can't play around. Call me when you really have some orders concerning about work."

He immediately left the room for he was afraid that he might truly do something undesirable to Kyuhyun.

"Punch me?" Kyuhyun chuckled before resting his head on his hands, "I'd rather like the idea of Yesung Hyung kissing me."

~

Jongwoon sighed as he made his way to his working desk. Today will be another hectic day for all of them. He sipped on his caramel frappucino as he sat and relaxed for a bit, Jongwoon came to the office an hour earlier so he can show Kyuhyun he wasn't a lazy like him. The office was completely deserted, who would want to go earlier than the assigned time even if there would be no extra pay? Well, only Jongwoon. He would gladly do it to show Kyuhyun he was hard working and he took his job seriously. He closed his eyes and took in the silent surrounding. Wait... It was not totally silent. He can hear shuffling of papers and tapping of keyboards. He cautiously looked around until his eyes fell upon Kyuhyun's office. Jongwoon carefully opened the door and saw Kyuhyun already working.

The younger looked up at him and yawned, "Good morning Yesung Hyung... You're early," he briefly smiled at Jongwoon before continuing to type and stare at the monitor and papers infront of him.

"You're early!" Jongwoon accused as Kyuhyun rubbed his eyes and yawned again, "What time did you came here?"

"Hmm... 5 AM? I'm not sure," Kyuhyun shrugged before eyeing the drink on Jongwoon's hand, his eyes twinkled as he pouted, “I should have grabbed some drink before going here..."

Jongwoon's face twitched as he looked down at his beloved drink. There's no way he will give it to Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun sighed as his doe-like eyes look at the drink and Jongwoon. His face twitched again as he asked, "Do you want this?"

Kyuhyun's face lit up as he grinned, "You're going to give it to me?"

"No," he hugged the cup close to his chest and turned back to finish it and the work filling up for him.

"Yesung Hyung," Kyuhyun whined, causing Jongwoon to look back. He wasn't sure if it's just his imagination or Kyuhyun's eyes became larger as he silently begged for the drink. Focusing on his eyes, Jongwoon took note of the dark bags surrounding the younger's eyes, almost similar to his own eye bags that he nurtured over the years of improper sleeping arrangements. He felt guilt as he realized how tired Kyuhyun must be. Much tired than them, since Cho Kyuhyun was their superior who planned, controlled and directed everyone towards success and to think that Kyuhyun was younger than anyone of them.

Jongwoon has to repress the want to hug him and baby him for he knew those kind of feelings were not safe and good for the two of them. Great, the other day you're repressing to punch him in the face and now you want to kiss him? He thought as he sighed dejectedly and turned around. He watched his hands passed the drink to Kyuhyun's long fingers. Kyuhyun's hand lingered on his as he got the cup with a victorious smirk. This brat is truly evil.

"Thank you Yesung Hyung!" the younger cheered as he took a sip of the frappucino. He hummed as he took steady sips. Right now, Kyuhyun looked so carefree and calm like a child drinking his favorite drink. The younger lifted and looked at the cup, "How come the name written was 'Jongwoon' Yesung Hyung?"

"If it isn't obvious my name is Jongwoon. You just gave me the nickname Yesung when we first met," Jongwoon said as he frowned. Kyuhyun has always called him Yesung, a name more appropriate for him (in Kyuhyun's biased mind), and not by his real name.

"Art-like voice suits you more than cloud prince," said Kyuhyun before he took anothe long sip from the drink.

Jongwoon blushed at the somewhat compliment he received from the other. It's very rare to hear Kyuhyun say something good about him. He cleared his throat before asking, "So why did you start your work too early?"

Kyuhyun finally finished the drink and placed it on the free space in the desk, "The earlier I finish work, the earlier I can annoy you and play starcraft."

Okay. The cute and nice Kyuhyun he has adored was already gone again. Jongwoon's face twisted in annoyance. Why does he always bring his hopes too high for this guy? Cho Kyuhyun was a hopeless case. Annoying him has been Kyuhyun's past time ever since they met.

He gritted his teeth and said, "I hope you'll finish immediately finish your work then." He grabbed the empty cup of his favorite drink to throw it on the garbage bin before going to his desk and finally start working.

"Wait!" panicked Kyuhyun, "Where are you going to take that?"

"To the garbage bin," Jongwoon answered confusedly. He shook the cup and verified it's already empty. Why would Kyuhyun stop him from throwing it?

"You can't!" Kyuhyun immediately stood up and tried to grab back the cup.

Jongwoon held it against his chest, "Why?" he asked as Kyuhyun relentlessly tried to get it back.

"Just because!" argued Kyuhyun as he finally used his secret ace against Jongwoon. He started poking his side making the older jerk violently as he started laughing. Oh, Yesung Hyung was really ticklish, just like what he managed to sniff err... learn about him. He took the liberty to hug Jongwoon from the back as he continued tickling the other with such vigor.

"W-Wait!" Jongwoon managed to say in between his laughs, "Kyu-ah s-stop!"

"Not until you give me back that cup!" Kyuhyun said as Jongwoon writhe from the continuous pokes to his sensitive sides. He got a chance to bury his nose on the other's smooth silky hair. He grinned.

"H-Here!!!" Jongwoon shouted as he gave Kyuhyun the cup. He was already panting and beads of sweat started to flow in his body.

He was immediately released as soon as Kyuhyun held the empty cup, smiling victorously, "Ha! I won!"

Jongwoon rolled his eyes for the younger's childishness. He stood straight and straightened his crumpled dress, "Why would you keep that empty cup?"

"Because it's the first thing that you ever gave to me without me giving you orders or instructions," Kyuhyun's smile didn't wear off, he looked so childlike as he possesively held the cup away from Jongwoon.

"That's the reason why you'll keep it?" Jongwoon tried to hold back but he can't. He started laughing like a mad man while Kyuhyun offendedly glared at him. "Are you serious?" Truthfully, he can feel warmness throughout his body because of what the other said. "If you want I can always grab a drink for the two of us every morning."

"Really?!" Kyuhyun shouted out of exitement.

Jongwoon nodded as he got the cup from Kyuhyun's hands, "So give me that. Wait. In addition, we'll take terms in paying the drinks ok? I'll became broke if I treat you everyday and considering your salary is larger-"

Kyuhyun suddenly stopped him from talking by wrapping him in his arms again. Jongwoon froze for a few seconds but he quickly settled and calmed down, allowing his self to be hugged by the other. No words were exchanged. They let silence and warmness surround them as Kyuhyun hugged Jongwoon.

After a few minutes, Kyuhyun finally let go. A blush creeping on his cheeks as he shyly looked away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, "Sorry... I can't repress myself from hugging you."

(since I'm evil and lazy and lame I'm stopping here~ bwahahahahahahaha! lol I really didn't expressed repression well on this one. I just used the word 'repressed' XD I'll give everyone the scenes that shall follow this. Jongwoon and Kyu will be closer and the older will finally realize his affection for the younger. The problem would be when Kyuhyun finally gets the promotion Jongwoon has been expecting from the start even before they managed to express their repressed love for each other. Next, Kyuhyun demands the company that he wanted to work with Jongwoon no matter what (yeah, like a boss). In the end.... Well I leave it up to the creative minds of the readers^^)

• Sublimation – channeling an unacceptable urge in some artistic creation

Kyuhyun tried to smile. Everyone has been telling him of how beautiful his painting was. All of them came up with deep explanations and thoughts about his work and all that he can do was nod at them. After all, no one has realized and found out the real meaning of it.

After another wave of students, Kyuhyun sighed as the forced smile finally disappeared in his face. He was not the type of people who loves talking too much. He was the quite and reserved type that would rather listen than talk. He finds people who talk too much very irritating but there is an exeption. There's a voice that he wouldn't mind listening all day long. You can say Kyuhyun fell in love with the owner of that voice. How much he hopes that he can hear that person's voice all the time but the fact that the owner of the voice doesn't even know that there's a Cho Kyuhyun from the Art Department that exists doesn't help at all. He can only listen to that melodious voice whenever he performs for the Music Department, he talks and laughs with his friends on the cafeteria (Kyuhyun always chooses to sit on tables near so he can hear him) and recently, he found out that the other would always go to the secluded part of the school to practice singing (Kyuhyun would like to clarify that he's no stalker. It's just COINCIDENCE that he saw him going there, and following him was just out of CURIOSITY. Totally not being a stalker.) He would watch and listen to him as he practice and Kyuhyun would pretend that it's a concert dedicated to him even if the other doesn't know that he was there, hiding at a corner.

How much he wanted to go out of his hiding place and introduce himself to the other, to tell the other that he adores his voice, to hear his name with that husky baritone voice, to tell him that he has always been watching and listening to him, to confess to him his affection and love for him.

But Kyuhyun can't, he's afraid of rejection. He's afraid that even before he can establish friendship with the other he will be pushed away if he says those things. He hoped there will be another way to channel out every emotions and feelings for the other.

So when their college dean told them about the campus art exhibit where they need to participate, Kyuhyun found the answer to his problem. He would paint the other to express everything he was afraid to say.

Back to the present, he turned around and looked at his own painting. In the canvas, a singing man stood under the tree in a secluded place. The overall mood and setting was very comforting and light. He drew the singing man as if he was looking at whoever was looking at the painting because that was Kyuhyun's desire, for the other to look back at him.

"Come on here!" someone suddenly shouted causing Kyuhyun to look at the source of noise. He froze in his spot as he watched Heechul, Heenim who was very popular all over the campus, drag his crush to his direction with the help of his Hangeng, Heechul's boyfriend. "I swear it looked like you Jongwoon!"

"Hey! No need to drag me!" said Jongwoon as other people stared at the three of them. Kyuhyun's breath hitched while he started blushing as he heared his crush's voice. He was about to run away when Heechul pointed to his painting.

"Aha! That one!" Heechul let go off Jongwoon and ran to the painting, not paying any attention to Kyuhyun, "SEE?! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU! I'M BRILLIANT!"

Hangeng let go off Jongwoon and walked beside Heechul, "I agree... And the setting of the place looks like where he practices everytime."

Jongwoon shook his head and sighed before looking at Kyuhyun instead of the painting. He wore a contemplating expression as he walked nearer to Kyuhyun and his painting.

Kyuhyun didn't blinked as he watched his crush walk nearer to him with every step that he take. He stood beside him as Jongwoon looked at the painting with surprise and amazement, "Wow! It really looks like me!"

Other people started to flock around the painting and confirmed the resemblance of Jongwoon with the man in the painting.

He's positive his heart skipped a beat when Jongwoon asked him, "You painted this? You’re Kyuhyun right?"

His mind went blank when he finally heard that husky baritone voice call his name. The only thing he can do was dumbly nod at Jongwoon while he stared at the floor as if it's more interesting than his crush.

Kyuhyun wasn't able to see that Jongwoon was blushing as he whispered something to his friends.

Heechul smirked and nodded. The next thing he did was evily glare at the other students. The audience they have accumulated has immediately dispersed, even the other artists left, "Well Geng, our job here is done. Let's go and meet with Siwon and Kibum."

Kyuhyun saw everyone going away. He started to panic. He watched as Heechul and Hangeng walk away from them, leaving only the two of them alone. Wait... The two of them... Alone... At first, Kyuhyun was very blissful and contented of the thought. He and Jongwoon... Alone... Together... WAIT! He finally remembered that Jongwoon doesn't even know that he exists and that he was his faithful stalker er... Observer and follower.

Kyuhyun watched as Jongwoon waved to the couple as he stood directly in front of the painting, "So the man in the painting," he looked directly at Kyuhyun with those piercing eyes, "Was it really me?"

He held his breathe again. He has always wanted Jongwoon to look at him with those eyes as lovely as the moon and to talk with him with his art-like voice. He wanted to answer back but his throat felt so parched that he only managed to dumbly nod at him.

"Really?" Kyuhyun watched as the older smile at him. "But, it looks more handsome than me." A melodious giggle filled the air as Jongwoon looked at the painting again.

"N-No!" Kyuhyun suddenly exclaimed. "My p-painting's no m-match to you! You're more beautiful in personal!" He had the urge to bit his tongue for his sudden proclamation. It sounded so creepy and stalkerish.

"Thank you..." Jongwoon said. Cheeks tinted with a red hue as he smiled again.

Kyuhyun wanted to faint but he can't since he'll be missing this one of a kind experience, seeing Jongwoon blush and smile at the same time. Sure, he had seen Jongwoon smiling a million times but this time his crush was smiling to him with that blinding smile.

"By the way, I really like the title of this painting," said Jongwoon as he brushed his small hands on the painted canvas, tracing the painted words above Kyuhyun's signature.

"Yesung," Kyuhyun replied. He doesn't really like it when other people touch his painting but of course Jongwoon was an exception on everything he hates. It somehow felt like Jongwoon was touching him and his feelings for the other kept on getting stronger. "Your voice sound very art-like..."

"That must be the reason why you're so charmed by me Kyuhyun," he grinned as he tilted his head to stare back at the younger again. "I have always thought I'm delusional that you're looking and watching me."

Kyuhyun blushed harder. He can't deny anything. He didn't know that Jongwoon was aware of his presence whenever he's (stalking) watching him. Wait... If Jongwoon knew and he still didn't confront or made him stop... It must mean something right?

"You caught me when I was staring at you?" Jongwoon asked.

"Caught you?" Kyuhyun asked back.

Jongwoon laughed as he patted Kyuhyun's shoulder. "I was actually staring at you when you were painting before at the back of the school while I was singing."

Kyuhyun tried calming his heart at the confirmation that Jongwoon was really looking at him, even though he was hidden behind the bushes. He felt a smile made its way to his face, "So you were staring at me?"

"Well, your worse. You were stalking me," said Jongwoon in a teasing manner. "But I'm not really happy that you didn't talk or approach me instead, I don't bite."

I was scared... Kyuhyun thought. Before he can say anything Jongwoon got something from his pocket and gave it to him.

"Here," Jongwoon smiled, "It's a ticket for our recital. I'll return the favor to you."

Kyuhyun shaky hands held the ticket, "Favor?"

"I'll sing to show my feelings for you," said Jongwoon as he smiled, "You better go and watch Cho Kyuhyun. I'll be going now. The painting's really amazing. See you!"

Kyuhyun felt giddy as he stupidly waved to the retreating Jongwoon. Finally, he thought.

(One of the best example of people who experienced sublimation is Edgar Allan Poe~ I'm sure Ate Ron knows him for she got a thing for dark, myterious things. And as far as I know, some of our very own KyuSung writers have done/used sublimation before. lol just kidding, I'm not sure. XD hey! It's open-ended again! But I gave hints so you people must know what will happen next~)

• Projection – repressed desires are avoided

"Yesung Hyung, you're avoiding me..." Kyuhyun's calm voice contradicted his tight grip on Yesung's wrist.

"..." Yesung tried to tug free of Kyuhyun's iron grip by shaking his arms violently.

"Why are you not talking!?" shouted the younger out of all the frustration building up inside him for the past whole week of Yesung ignoring or avoiding him. At first he thought that the older was just too busy but whenever he approaches him, Yesung would turn the opposite direction and run away. He didn't like that his crush was purposely avoiding him. "Have I done something wrong?" Kyuhyun almost whimpered.

"..." Yesung stopped struggling to break free as he watched the composed Kyuhyun to start breaking down.

"You're avoiding me Hyung," said Kyuhyun as tears started to form in his eyes. "I'm so sorry if I have done or said anything wrong or stupid... But please Yesung Hyung... Don't hate me..." his words were choked out as salty water started running down his pale face.

I don't hate you, silly, thought Yesung as he found a reason to be thankful to Kyuhyun's desperate grip on his wrist, that way he would only restrict his other hand from wiping the tears flowing in the younger's eyes before engulfing him in a comforting hug and whispering reassuring words to his ears. He watched as the tears flow freely from Kyuhyun's eyes. He felt a pang of pain straight to his heart as he watched him cry. Yesung didn't know that the younger can break down and cry like a child. Kyuhyun has always been calm, cool and composed. I'm avoiding you because...

"I like you, no, I love you Yesung," Kyuhyun suddenly proffessed. He looked up to see Yesung's shocked expression through his blurry eyes. Did he really just confess to the love of his life? He sobbed harder, thinking that he crushed his slim chance in getting Yesung to look at him with his piercing eyes, to talk with him with his melodious husky voice, to touch him with his soft small hands, and to smile to him with those cherry plump lips. Why was he too stupid and reckless to tell the older his feelings at a crucial time like this?

Everything started to crumb down for Kyuhyun when Yesung finally managed to free himself from his grip. He closed his eyes waiting for the worst to come. He anticipated for the older to punch or kick him, or say hurtful words and then leave. In contrast to what he was waiting, he was engulfed in a hug. He slowly opened his eyes as Yesung securely wrapped him within his arms and started rubbing his back comfortably. He was a little confused of the other's action but deep inside him he hoped that this means acceptance. He desperately hugged back as he burried his face on the crook of the older's neck and his nostrils was attacked by Yesung's musk and natural scent.

"I avoided you because I was scared that my feelings will ruin everything between the two of us Kyu." Yesung softly combed his hand through Kyuhyun's brown locks. "I can never hate you."

"Your feelings?" said Kyuhyun, pretending he didn't know what those feelings are. He wanted to hear straight from the other what's Yesung's true feelings for him. How much he had fantisized and dreamed of that.

"My love for you," said Yesung.

He sounded so confident, sure, and sincere that Kyuhyun already forgot his demise when Yesung was avoiding him. He sobbed again as tears once again flow out of his eyes, but this time the tears symbolize his happiness surging in him.


(Does that even made sense? XD I'm not used in writing such dramatic stuffs.... But since Ate Ron was the first one who told me to spread my wings as a writer and try another genre I experimentally did this. It was supposed to be angsty and dramatic but I can't really write something like that so in the end it still ended happily! Hehehe~ i'm a huge fan of happy KyuSung endings XD forgive my biasness)