As I sat with my mom and DongHae with Soo Man sajangnim sitting opposite from us in his office waiting for the officer who is handing my case against the man who made me like this and forget everything, my life, and DongHae

“Sica, do you want to know now what really happened?” Soo Man sajangnim started

I just nodded as my mom wrapped her arms around me giving me support

I went to the parking area after my strong heart filming ended and I saw that someone is doing something wrong in my car

“Excuse me…” I said calling his attention

He looked around and I was shocked it was my stalker, I realized it was him as soon as I saw him in suit and holding his signature umbrella, I couldn’t see his face, it was dark in the parking lot as few lights are just lit,  I immediately run as fast as I could, and I can sense he was following me, my heart is beating up and down, I’m scared, I don’t want to die with his hands

“Help!!!” I shouted while running

“Ms. Jung!!! Be mine…” he shouted that made me feel more scared

 “Help!!!”  I shouted to him

 “!!!” he cursed as I run fast but my stalker got me by pulling my hair and carries me in his shoulder

“Put me down!!!” I said to him as I punch him in the back

“Sorry, Miss jung but you are mine” he said to me while we are heading to his car, he made me inhaled something that made me fall asleep

The next thing everyone and the whole Korea knew, I was missing and just found inside the same car that the culprit used in a parking space inside the mall, the security guard seems suspicious of the car because it was left overnight in the area, as he checked it, he heard that there is someone whimpering inside the compartment and he immediately reported it to the police, as they opened it and checked it, they saw me inside, hands, feet, mouth are tied, messy and clothes are torn, once they lifted me out of the compartment they say I didn’t stop crying and I was too afraid to be touch by anyone, medics rush in the scene as my family rushed too to check on me, and DongHae did too, when they arrived, I was sleeping already inside the ambulance, the medics made me fall asleep and they rushed me to the hospital for further examinations

And the next thing that shocks them most, I was brutally abuse physically, as burn of cigarettes wound my fragile body and the most heart wrecking news was I was . My family, friends and DongHae was devastated

I tried to commit suicide but it never turns out what i planned 

The moment I opened my eyes, i asked " Where am I?"

"Still in the hospital, you tried to kill yourself last night..." DongHae told me as he held my hand, as i so he had his head hung low and tears are escaping from his almond shape eyes

My mom said my eyes was empty, lifeless and full of hatred, I didn’t speak nor eat, the doctors said that I am in deep trauma and I needed to undergo for psychiatric test for me to be cure and forget everything, that was the start of spreading news to the whole Korea but they kept the fact that I was abuse and , they said that I needed to be on haitus to rest

I flew back to San Francisco with my family and DongHae, he never left my side, he accompany me every day in the center where I stay, as the therapy goes on, I got better, I slowly gained my memory back, I started to remember some of my childhood, my family, my friends, the industry I belong to, but how come I never remember DongHae is in my life, who is he

I and DongHae is at the doctor’s office, I think he was trying to explain to DongHae the current situation

“How come he doesn’t remember me? Why only me?” DongHae asked in disbelief

“Mr. Lee, Ms. Jung suffers from a traumatic experience, it was difficult for her to remember everything, sometimes this is just the defense mechanism of a person under traumatic experiences, you said you are her boyfriend, let us put it this way, maybe at that time she was in that traumatic situation under the hands of her stalker, she was abuse, maybe the only person in her mind and shouting for help is yours but you never came, and the next thing you knew you was just abandoned inside a compartment, left you there until you die.” He explained

“But…” DongHae protest

“if you love her, always stay to her side, patients need love, sometimes love can be the only cure, it can make miracles…” the doctor finalized

When the doctor assured that I’m well and ready to go back, they allow me to flew back to Korea, they say I need to go back to start for me to go on and accept everything and learn to forgive, I slowly gaining back my old self, as I feel warm with my family and friends around me, while I’m becoming fine someone is feeling the opposite, DongHae is dying inside as I slowy drifing myself away from him

SNSD got haitus for 1 year and 2 months, that’s the time I was overseas and the girls are busy with their individual activities, they understand our group haitus since I was away for my therapy and now I’m back, I’m ready to work with my girls

But somehow I still felt afraid as I knew that the person who did this to me is just around the streets of Seoul, wandering and maybe still trying to get his hands on me

“So that’s what really hap…happened?” I asked sajangnim between my sobs, my mom is rubbing my back to make me calm down

“Yes, and whoever that man is, I’ll kill him…” DongHae said with a straight voice

I looked at him and I saw how intense his glare was, it was frightening, full of anger and ready for revenge, but I was happy with that because somehow he is showing how capable he was to earn my trust

but behind my mind there is still something telling me not too

and I’m afraid those thought

might win over my heart...

here is chapter 2. so painful right? 

Chapter posted: April 18, 2013 - Jessica's birthday (KST)