I highly doubt that the currency rate is the same (what I mean to say is that if a steak costs normally twenty US dollars, I doubt that it’ll cost 2,000 won in Korea) so to remedy that, I’m just going to go by American dollars. Also, I do not speak Korean, therefore I don’t have any idea how accents of foreigners/dialect-speakers are like when they speak the language so I decided to go by the movie’s accents (since this is in English anyway). Liyin shall have a Cockney accent (only a very light one though since I can’t picture her having a really thick one like Miss Carter did in the Burton version. A few others, as you’ve most likely already witnessed in the previous chapter, shall have a Cockney accent too, but a lot thicker and bears more resemblance to the accent that Miss Carter did. You’ll be able to tell anyway. You guys are smart enough, I believe), and Zhou Mi for this chapter shall have a thick Chinese accent. The accent that you’ll be seeing/reading is one that is perceived by American ears. If this offends you, I apologize because no offense at all is intended. Just bear with it; if you’ve seen the movie, you probably know it’s not going to last very long. 

The woman manages to convince the man to go out today, despite his apparent reluctance. Since the day he arrived, the man has done nothing but pace back and forth up in his parlor, brooding over the Judge and the Bailiff. She feels he that it will do him some good to go out. She needs all the help she can get anyway, with buying supplies for the shop. After all, he is staying under her roof for free, does laundry for him, cleans his lodging area, and feeds him meals. Now that he is here, the least he can do is help her with her groceries.

The sun isn’t shining on the city. Then again, it never has. The sky has always been covered with gray clouds, and the woman wonders if it had anything to do with the city’s dilapidated¹ circumstance. If the sky had been brighter, would it have made any difference at all? She chuckles internally at the thought. Probably not. For years Seoul has been home to the most malfeasant² beings of the country – it has been that way for as long as she can remember. She doubts that even the most pleasant of days and the brightest sunrays can quell the licentiousness³ that has lasted longer than eternity itself.

They continue to walk, and she once again talks just to rid of the silence between them. She tells him of another barber in town – a Chinese man by the name of Zhou Mi who claims to be the “king of the barbers and the barber of kings”. He is probably ignoring her, she reckons, but she doesn’t care. All she really needs is some noise to keep herself from losing sanity. She’s dealt with silence all her life since she the day she lost her Sikyung and she no longer desires to deal with it again, now that she finally has company (even though that companion is rather reluctant to attend to this task in the first place, or be around her presence for that matter). Just then eyes turn to a direction ahead of them. Curious of his sudden anxiousness, she looks to the direction as well and sees the Bailiff who often visits the market to walk amongst “the commoners, whom he so greatly appreciates,” as he puts it. Immediately the woman realizes the man’s intent—he is reaching for one of his shining friends, his eyes kept on the Bailiff alone with great abhorrence⁴.

“No, love,” she tells him, grabbing hold of his arm. “Not here. You’ll cause a great scandal, you will. You just got back from Siberia. You want to go back there again?”

The man supposes that his companion is correct, as irritating as she may be. If he gets charged now, he will not be able to get to the Judge and his plan will be ruined! And that of course, is something that mustn’t happen at all costs. So with all his willpower, he places his friend back to its holster and keeps walking, trying to ignore the dastardly Bailiff as much as possible.

“Goes here to surround himself with commoners, he says,” she explains. “Feels that he does a great favor to all by showering them with his presence, he does. Such a vain man ain’t ‘e? A bloody wonder that bastard is, indeed. Clearly he don’t realize that everyone hates him. The Judge too! No one’s just got the cheek to boot ‘em outta their place.”

Moments later, the woman and the man hear drums beating and see quite a crowd condensing at an area of the market. Following it is the voice of a child, beckoning market-goers to his direction.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?”

Curious, they follow the sound. The man is reluctant once again to go but he does so anyway. He knows there is no way he can get out of it; the woman is one persistent being.

When they arrive there, they see a child about thirteen years of age clad in rags and a hat, and beating a drum. He is on a stage and behind him is a sign bearing the name, Zhou Mi’s Miracle Elixir. By the way that the child is talking, they ascertain⁵ that the boy is trying to sell it – whatever type of elixir it may be. While the man keeps a stoic expression, the woman smirks in amusement for she already knows that any elixir of any kind sold in Seoul—or anywhere else for that matter—is nothing but fraudulence, which surprisingly, people still buy despite the fact that there had been so many of them in the past. Apparently, she thinks, people never learn.

Her point is proven when the bottle is passed near their direction. The boy says it is a hair growth elixir. The look and smell of their formula, however, says otherwise. Soon, the man discovers it as well—and though he is not the type to normally do so, he decides to have some fun and mess with the child.

“Pardon me, ma’am what’s that awful stench?”

The woman, who normally takes pleasure in watching scammers getting chased by an angry mob, decides to partake in his little scheme. She figures that in doing so she can get just as much pleasure.

“Are we standing near an open trench?”

The boy looks at them nervously. It seems that they are doing the job exactly right, by the look on his face. As he continues in trying to sell it, they continue in deriding⁶ it.

“What is this? It smells like piss!” the man says, bringing the bottle near his nose.

The woman does the same. “Smells like—ugh!” she turns to the person next to her and warns, “’wouldn’t touch it if I was you, dear.”

“This is piss, piss with ink! Best if you not buy it. Won’t do anything but attract flies on your head,” the man concludes.

The crowd begins to recede and they smirk. They are receiving precisely the results that they have in mind and they are enjoying every single moment of it. The boy fails in his attempt to lure the audience back; only a third of the audience is left remaining in the area. It isn’t until a man – the one who claims to be the “king of the barbers and the barber of kings” – emerges from behind the curtains that the audience starts to return again.

“Hu de-ah koh-a mah elikshaa peesh?” With his thick extremely Chinese accent, the man demands to know who has dared insult his work. He receives no response for a moment for the crowd grows silent, that is, until another man decides to speak.

“I did,” the man tells him. “I’m Mr. Seo Junho of Cheongju Drive. I have opened a bottle of your said elixir, sir, and I tell you—it is nothing but an errant fraud concocted from piss and ink.”

The man’s discomfiture is evident by the expression on his face though he tries not to show it. The other continues to speak.

“Furthermore, sir, though I have serviced no kings or emperors, I’ll wager that I can show you ten times more dexterity than any street mountain bike.”

The crowd is intrigued and questioning sounds fill the air at the latter’s last words. The Chinese man remains uneasy and the woman smirks at her companion. He definitely is a changed man, she internally says to herself. The Kim Junsu I know wouldn’t have done that. But then again, she reminds herself, he is no longer Kim Junsu.

The man quickly accepts the challenge and calls his slave, the boy, while the other calls two men to be shaved for free. He turns his head to the direction of another man as well, and declares him judge of the challenge.

“As always, I am glad to be of service to my fellow man,” the man smiles pompously as he approaches the stage, his stopwatch at hand. “The fastest, cleanest shave is the winner,” he asserts loudly—and instantly, the two start their task. The job does not take long to finish, however, since the latter gets done in a matter of minutes, while the other man had spent most of his time glorifying himself while doing the task. Clearly he had been more focused on self-veneration rather than the main point of the competition, which was to prove which barber is the more adroit⁷.

“I bow to skee-a faa glay-ta zan mai ohn,” the Chinese man says to the latter once most of the audience has left.

The latter disregards the acknowledgement as he cleans his sliver friend and simply holds out his hand. “The ten dollar bill, please,” he says. Humbly, the Chinese man gives him the money and the latter leaves the stage, rejoining his female companion. They are about to resume walking when a man – the contest’s judge – stops to speak to the man.

“Congratulations, Mr. Seo,” he tells him, the smug look still present on his visage.

“And I thank you, milord. You are indeed a paradigm⁸ of integrity,” the man replies calmly with a smile.

“As I always say, I’m always glad to be of service to my fellow man. And Mr. Seo, may I ask if you have your own establishment?”

“Why, of course, milord. It is above the pie emporium in Cheongju Drive.”

“Ah, Cheongju Drive, you say?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Then you shall certainly see me there before the week is out.”

The Bailiff smiles at the two of them once more before walking away. The man keeps his eyes on the other man, staring at him with contempt. It takes him all his willpower not to assassinate him right then and there, and if it isn’t for the woman leading him away he might have already done it.

“Before the week is out,” the man reiterates. “I shall wait until then.”

Just in case some of you didn’t know some of the words, here they are:

1: Dilapidated – fallen into partial ruin or decay

2: Malfeasant – wrongful conduct, corrupt

3: Licentiousness – lewd, seediness

4: Abhorrence – loathing, detestation

5: Ascertain – discover, learn. In the context, it is used as “they figure that...”

6: Deriding – ridiculing

7: Adroit – skillful with one’s hands

8: Paradigm – epitome, example