I can still remember how I felt when I woke up that morning…

There was a strange emptiness that had made its way into my chest. Every second after I had opened my eyes, I could feel an inescapable dread building within me. In all honestly, the feeling had been growing inside of me for months now. The more I thought about it, the further I tried to push it from myself. How could something like this even be true?

This was supposed to be a special time in my life. It was my senior year of high school; the home stretch, the last bit of my childhood that would soon flourish into something unknown. It was a time that was meant to be enjoyed; to be cherished. Not to be thrown rashly into the clutches of adulthood. The very thought of what was to come terrified me, but I couldn’t escape it now. Today was the day…

It seemed like everything was happening much too quickly. Everything blurred together in a chaotic jumble. There was a brief period of calm as I showered which was followed by my sister hurrying me down the winding staircase and out the front door of my life-long home. Never in my life have I experienced anything like what time threw my way that day. I found myself hoping over and over again that this was all nothing but a dream. But, I had never been that lucky. Why should I start now?

As I went through all of the expected routines, I revealed in the feeling of hopelessness. I sat in my little chair emotionlessly as my sisters swarmed around me; pulling at my hair and perfecting my makeup. The room was filled with all sorts of things. All of which were as white as the walls of an asylum. For as much as I care to be in this place there might as well have been bars on the windows and doors. There truly was no escape. Even if there were, I knew I wouldn’t’ take it. After one last spritz of hairspray they shoved me into what had to be most elaborate long white dress I had ever seen. That gown had been glaring at me for a long time now. If I had seen it anywhere else I might have thought it was absolutely gorgeous. On me though, it felt awkward and uncomfortable. I wanted nothing more than to throw it off and run as far away from this place as I could. There was nothing to do about it though.

This was my life, and I had always known that this is what my life would be. True, I had always thought this part would come a little later, but the fact remained that my time had come. I had no control over the matter like my sisters before me. We were the daughters of a wealthy business man. Each of my sisters before me had been married as soon as was convenient for our parents; both to the sons of business partners. Our company’s profits had taken a dive for the worse. After weeks of discussions it was decided that there was only one to keep the company from going under. A marriage to the son of a company who could pull our own out of the red. The finally tug of the back of my dress yanked me back to reality. This was happening right now. Somehow, it was my time.

Worry set in soon after the thought sank in. What if we hated each other? What if he was a complete jerk? Not exactly appealing thoughts… But just like everything else, the thoughts passed me by in a head spinning blur. Before I knew it I was saying “I do” and signing my name on a pretty little certificate next to his.

The next morning back at my childhood home, I had begun packing everything I owned into boxes. It seemed almost impossible that a lifetime of memories could fit into so few boxes.

By this time I was mounting a fierce silent assault against my family. I knew it wouldn’t do any good in this situation, but it felt as though it might somehow make me feel better. My oldest sister had left with her own husband, a snotty businessman type whom I had never been found of, after a short congratulations and goodbye. Which was fine with me, she and I had exactly been close.

*Why did it have to be him? I would’ve settled for some sweet nerdy guy or a silent shy guy or anything really… But not him….* my thoughts carried on in much the same way as I placed the last of my clothing into a box. I had heard his name all around the school for years. He was the kind of guy you hear about around the school who’s dated every girl or something ridiculous like that. If the rumors held any truth, just the last kind of person I would want to be stuck next to for the rest of my life. I knew better than to expect prince charming, but couldn’t I do a little better than that?

“It’s not as bad as it seems, you know,” my sister, Yumi, said as she stepped into my bedroom,” you’re lucky really. Now you don’t have to worry about finding someone to marry. Or being stuck with someone the last guy they could find” She smiled in what seemed to be an effort to comfort me as she left the room , a fully packed box in arms.

*Yeah, thank every god above! Now I’ll never have to worry about free will!* I thought sarcastically. Yumi walked back into the room moments later. She had married a really nice guy, the son of the CEO of a major corporation, they built hospitals and donated to charity. She’s the one who got lucky. He was intelligent, kind, and he really cared for her. Why couldn’t that be me? That’s all I ever wanted. All I could have hoped for.

“If all else fails at least he’s handsome,” she added with a shrug.

*I’m sure he thinks so too*I thought to myself and snickered inwardly. After I didn’t answer she gave up on talking with me. My room along with the rest of the mansion seemed so empty. My parents had put the mansion up for sale. Now that all three of their children were married they were eager to move into a smaller home. It was sad to see the place I had known as home for so long growing emptier by the day.