a/n: Yup. Double update. which calls for tonnes of mistakes in my case.

Amber’s POV

I paced anxiously in my room.

He’s not gay.

Kim Kibum is not gay.

And on top of that he likes me.

I’ve been pacing for nearly an hour now but my thoughts are getting messed up by seconds.

Frustrated, i jumped onto my bed and reached for the envelope from the nightstand, took the content and re-read the letter for the umpteenth time.

Aiden was ecstatic when i told him the news and i knew i should be too. I am happy but my mind and heart doesn’t want to co-operate.

“Erghh!”

I grabbed my hair and buried my head into my pillow. I came back up after a few seconds for air when the landline phone in my room rang.

I crawled over and answered.

“’Lo-” i said, uninterested.

“Amber?” Key’s voice called.

My spine straightened up automatically.

“Key.” I said, hoping that i sounded calm. “ Yeah, it’s me.”

“I need to talk to you.” He said, hesitatingly.

There was uncomfortable silence for a moment.

“Sure. I have something to tell you too.” i said eyeing the letter. “Meet you at the playground in twenty?”

****

I walked over to the playground and sat on my swing (the one which hung higher). This was where i met the cat faced boy for the first time. It was the day me and Aiden moved in into the apartment which belonged to our late Aunty. After my parents got divorced, my father re-married and our step mother didn’t fancy having us around while my mother drowned her sorrows with alcohol.

Aunt Grace figured it was better for us to live in Korea than spending unhealthy moments with my parents and step-mom. She flew us here when i was 7 (after having a huge battle with my parents, of course.). I hardly met or miss them since. They are alive and well. My dad is, not sure if i can say the same for my mum.

Anyways, on the day we moved in, i remember running to this playground and hopping on to the swing. That’s when Little Key came up to me with a lollipop, saying that it was welcome-to-the-lousy-neighbourhood present. He complimented my cap. It was a red power ranger cap and Key was pretty impressed with it, so i took it off and wore it on him. That’s how we became friends. Everything was perfect, we loved everything about each other even the imperfections.

I never thought of him anything but a friend and never in a million years i thought he’d like me. I am a girl, yes but being feminine isn’t one of my strong aspects. It isn’t even remotely strong.

I wonder what made him...

“Hey.” I heard his voice call from behind.

Taking a deep breath i stood up and swirled around. “Hi.”

Let me know if you've been in any situation more awkward than the one we are enduring now.

I took a chance to break the tension by handing him over the envelope.

“What is this?” he asked.

I gestured him to go ahead and read it as i watched his expression.

He took out the letter and read it. His brows came to a furrow forming creases on his forehead.

“You got into London College of Fashion?” he asked, there was a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“With full scholarship.”

“Even after that particular incident?” he said, with an amused smile but his eyes weren’t.

“Yeah, they decided to look past that i guess.” i said shrugging.

He sighed, for what reason, i couldn’t figure out.

“So, Aiden must be happy.” He said, folding the letter and putting it back into the envelope, avoiding my eyes.

“He’s freaking out.” I said with a laugh, hooking my thumb into my jeans pocket.

 “Amber, about what i said yesterday.” he said. “I really meant every word but i don’t expect you to feel the same way.”

I gnawed my lower lip and bobbed my head.

 “Key, you are a wonderful person. You know i love you so much as a friend.” She explained. “I’m not saying i can’t love you more than that but i can’t promise you i can. I am just-“

“Hey, it’s alright. There’s absolutely no need for you to explain. I am sorry for putting you such a situation.”

Keys’ POV

“I hope we still can be friends?”

Those words.

The courage i had to gather to say it out without crumbling was infinite.

“Silly. Of course we are.” She said, giving me a tight hug. A friendly tight hug.

I hugged her, inhaling her scent.

“Ou...Key...too tight.”

“Oops, sorry.” I said letting her go.

“So what are you going to do?” she asked, slapping my shoulder.

“Mend my broken heart.” I said jokingly although i knew exactly that’s what i am going to do.

“Hey, you are making me feel lousy.”

I laughed.

“I have an audition to attend.” I informed. “Taemin and i are going.”

Her eyes lit up. “You’re finally auditioning? That’s awesome”

I nodded. She knew my dream was to become an idol and that i never had the confidence to try out at auditions. Amber on the other hand is convinced i had it all in me and constantly bugged me to try out.

“Taemin practically threatened me to go. Said he'll break up with Minho if i didn't go.You know how annoyingly persuasive can be.”

“At least he got your fat- moving.” She said, raising her eyebrows. “Mr. Future Teenage Heartthrob.”

I chuckled at her words as i highly doubted that was possible. “Yeah, right.”

“Kim Kibum. You’re the most talented person i know. Buck that confidence of yours a little will you?” she scolded.

“I’ll try.” I answered. “By the way, i haven’t congratulated you yet. Congratulations!” i said.

“Thank you. I’ll congratulate you when you get selected.” She said.

“If i get selected.”

“What did i just tell you?” she said, slapping my head.

“Fine...fine... let me buy a congratulatory ice cream.”

“Haagen Dazs?”

“If that’s you want.”

Amber’s POV

I knew he was hurting.

I didn’t want to make it worse by acting differently or by avoiding him.

Things can and will never be the same again between us but i can try to make it bearable. Right?

I don’t if I’m doing the right thing. It feels like i am.

It’s better than being strangers.

“Which one?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Which flavour?” he asked.

“Oh, that one.” i said, pointing randomly.

“Emm...when are you leaving?” he asked.

“In two weeks. On Saturday.”

“On the 25^th?” he asked, his eyebrows came together.

I nodded, my ice cream.”Why?”

He sighed.

“My audition is on that day too.”

I stopped eating.

“I might not make it to the airport then.” He said, his shoulders slugged.

i don’t get to see him before i leave? Like things weren’t bad enough already.

one more chapter to go.

dr_elf15