Leena rolled over in her bed, tears streaming down her face, expecting to feel a hard body. Even when she and Seung were at their worst she could always twist and turn in the middle of the night and find his lean physique blocking her from rolling off the bed. Tonight however, there was no Seung. He hadn’t occupied their bed for almost a year now, and she was almost sure that he never would again. No matter what the doctors said, or how much Seung’s mother pleaded with her to not lose her faith in his recovery, she knew somewhere deep down that Seung would forever be trapped in that bed.

Or maybe she hopped he would.

That’s a wicked thing to say, Leena knew that. But she hoped beyond hope that her husband would simply just not wake up. The she could spend her time with…him. Her new love.  Or at least, a love she thought she could have if it wasn’t for her half dead husband sitting in the hospital room.

 It started out as nothing but business with Mr. Jang, but Leena hoped it could be something more. She’d never forget when he took her on his yacht to show her the latest in his new line of ships. He planned on having a party to launch the new design and wanted Leena to do what she did before she met  Seung; he wanted her to design a uniform for his crew, and a one of a kind suit for him to wear. Mr. Jang appreciated her talents in a way that Seung never did. Over the course over the last year he called upon her many times design and style a suit for him to wear at events. He even passed on her name to his business associates, including some big name starlets.

When it came to their relationship out of work…well it was moving slow. Mr. Jang was aware she was married, and that her husband was ill. He wasn’t the kind of man to take advantage of her or her situation. Though, if Leena was honest with herself, she wished he would. Instead when she was having her nightmares about miscarriage, or when taking care of Seung got to be too much, Mr. Jang would take care of her. He’d take her out to eat. When he had the time he’d stay at home with her and drink a glass of wine over a game of chess. What she liked most about Mr. Jang was that he was never more than a phone call away.

Even now, before she could stop herself, Leena reached over  to grab her cell phone and dial up her soon-to-be-once-my-husband-dies man.

“It’s 3 in the morning.” Came a gruff sleepy voice. God Leena loved his voice.

“I’m sorry do you want me to call you back at a decent hour?”

“Oh, Leena it’s you! I’m sorry, I thought maybe you were…you know what, it doesn’t matter. Are you ok?”

“ Yes. I’m ok…” Leena paused. “Actually, no. I’m not.”

“Do you want me to…” Leena could hear the hesitation in Mr. Jang’s voice, “ Do you want me to come over?”

Leena didn’t know what to say. Well, that’s not true. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to have him here with her. But saying yes might complicate things. Yeah that’s a good word; it would complicate things with Mr. Jang, and honestly her life was already complicated enough.

“You know what, Don’t answer that. If you didn’t need me you wouldn’t have called me. I’ll be there in fifteen.”  Mr. Jang hung up the phone before she could respond.

Leena sat up straight in bed and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She panicked. He was coming now. Dear lord he was coming now. She pulled the night cap off her head and combed through her hair with her fingers as she rushed to the bathroom to clean her face. She rushed downstairs to get some coffee peculating. By the time she was able to top off the second mug of java with fresh milk, the doorbell rang.

Leena tied her robe tighter around her figure, took a deep breath, and opened the door.  Mr. Jang stood in slacks, a button up shirt, and a leather jacket. His hair was not perfectly in place, but the tousled out of bed look made him look delicious. His eyes were shaped in such a way that when he smiled they turned down. He was smiling at her now, taking her in. It was a look that Seung use to give her and it drove her crazy. Mr. Jang’s version did dangerous things to her as well

“What happened?” Mr. Jang’s voice, although low and gravely, proved to be comforting.

“It was just… I had a bad dream. You didn’t have to come all this way.”

Mr. Jang walked past her into the home. He took the seat in the far right of the sofa. Where he always sat when he came over. Where Seung use to sit and hold her at night before he stopped coming home all together.  Leena moved to the kitchen to get the forgotten coffee, but Mr. Jang patted the seat next to him  and insisted she sit.

“Did you dream about the miscarriage again?” He held her hand. He wanted to hold her, Leena could tell. But she told him how in her dream her husband held her so close that she exploded. Leena wasn’t sure what part of that was stopping him. The part where she exploded, or the part that mentioned her husband.

“Yes. It took me by surprise really. I haven’t had that dream since –“

“Since your husband went into his coma.”

“Yes. Strange for me to have it now.”

“Maybe you fear that he’ll never wake up. That you two will never resolve the issues you had.”

Leena chuckled.  “Maybe I fear that he will. Is that wrong of me to think.”

Mr. Jang held her hand and rubbed circles on the back of her hand. “I can understand that. I don’t think I’ve seen you smile till after your husband’s accident. As horrible as it sounds, you seem to be…freed.”

Leena thought about all the things she’d done while Seung was in a coma. She completely redecorated the home, making it more warm and inviting. She was able to go public with her design and style firm, instead of just ducking out of the house here and there and anonymously style whoever she could get her hands on. She was in fact free.

“But don’t you think… I mean if your husband wakes up it’s not like you could abandon him.” Mr. Jang said. “ and now that you’ve reestablished yourself, it’s not like he can take it away from you.”

“I guess you are right. But the could have’s and maybe’s they—“

“They scare you. That’s understandable.” Mr. Jang held her hand now and used her other hand to lift her head up so she could look at him. “It’s so awful to hope your husband would never wake up. But if he doesn’t, you’ll never be able to face your fear.”

Mr. Jang cupped her cheeks and rested his forehead against hers. His hand felt soft, and his breath was warm on her lips. This is the closest they’d ever been. The closest they’d ever dare to be while she was a married woman.

“You are not a weak woman, Ms. Leena.” Mr. Jang whispered, careful that his lips wouldn’t accidently touch hers. “That’s what I love about you. You are strong and talented and smart. You are caring too. That’s how I know that you don’t really want your husband to disappear. If that were the case you’d have left him long ago.  You are a loving woman. When your husband wakes up, you’ll love him. You might not love him like you use too, but you aren’t going to leave him broken either.”

Leena sighed. How was it possible that he knew her better then she knew herself. How could this man she met a year ago understand her better than her own husband? It seemed almost impossible.

“Since you know so much about me, what do you think I’ll do if he never wakes up? What kind of person will I be if I’m left completely free?” Leena challenged him.

But before Mr. Jang could answer, the phone rang. Leena broke away from him and answered it. Mr Jang read the shock on her face, then saw her eyes glass over with tears. He was up and had his arms around her before she even had the chance to put the phone down.

“What is it, Leena?”

The worry in his voice, the way he held her, the play back of her thoughts that night and the conversation they had, it all made her cry harder. Mr. Jang comforted her as best he could.  Ran his hands through her hair and dried up her tears while she cried. Once she got a hold of herself though, she sprung away from him like he was  made of liquid lava.

“My Husband.” She said as she tried to erase any emotion she had held only moments earlier. “He’s awake.”

Mr. Jang grabbed his keys and started up his car while Leena went to change. He took the moment to rest his head against the steering wheel.

Guess they’ll never know what could’ve and would’ve happened if her husband never woke up.