A few things we should make clear before we start:

There are many types of crack, and people have different senses of humor. You've got wtf-ery in everyday life, adventures in the lands of rainbows, parodies, hallucinating people, etc. I’m going to write about my kind because I happen to be familiar with it. You know, whatever that is.

Crack is not the same thing is humor. In the overarching umbrella of "humor", you might be to detect some sanity in the writer and their characters. Not so with pure crack. You should see as few sane people as possible.

If you’re going to write crack, embrace it. Chuck all your shame out the window. Take away your s and stop giving them. Readers can tell if you’re holding back on them, so you should probably get used to sacrificing your dignity. Think crack. Live and breathe and dream crack. You can’t force humor; you want it to come out as naturally as possible.

So be a unicorn.

Good day.