[ CHUNJI'S POV ]

I didn't sleep at all even after I sent him those messages, because even though I felt the happiest now, something hit me: I'm gay. I don't know how to feel about that, specially not when I never took time to think about my uality. How am I supposed to interact with him in front of others? What will people think...?

It's not fair that he had his chance to realize that he is gay yet to me it happened in a blink of an eye, of course he never had a boyfriend before but even so, I feel so weird. I was the one coming up with this silly lie and now I'm the one who can't accept what just happened... but I can't go back on my words either, I really like LJoe.

I got off bed when my alarm rang, almost fainting upon seeing my zombie reflection on the mirror from thinking all night. I can't be all lovey dovey with him, not in front of the whole school at least — a good thing is that pda is not even accepted, but when would that happen then? I can't just bring him home, will my parents even accept..? Should I talk to him? The questions never seemed to end as I got ready and went to school.

Taking my time to go to school, I tried to figure out how I should greet LJoe. Some friends of mine made fun of how terrible I looked, but I could care less as my thoughts were all on that boy, waiting for him to finally show up. Maybe it's because I'm having a big crush, but it was pretty easy to notice him walking down the hall amongst the crowd, which made me smile right away, specially when he looked as horrible as me, big dark circles and all.

He walked straight towards me, smiling as well and holding out his arms, signaling that he was about to give me a big hug but all I managed to do was to dodge and run off to my first class. I felt the tip of my ears red and my heart race, I was so nervous and scared, what if someone saw? What made me even more confused though was that I eyed the empty seat by my side and hoped for LJoe to take it.

Much to my disappointment, the teacher got in and closed the door, no one behind him. I didn't even notice the small frown on my features until a friend asked if I was alright, but before I could reply I heard a small knock on the door, that made me instantly brighten up upon seeing LJoe behind it. He quickly introduced himself and took the empty seat my by side, making butterflies swirl in my stomach.

‘Morning!’ I said cheerfully, completely forgetting about the incident this morning, but the way he nodded with a sly hint of sadness and confusion on his face quickly reminded me.

I wanted to talk to him so bad and explain what happened, but before I could say something again, the class started. As a good student that I am, I quickly focused onto it, stealing a few glances here and there at LJoe that didn't even look at me through the whole class. This time around, the hours seemed to drag themselves, taking an eternity for our lunch break to come.

‘Sorry about this morning, I just didn’t know how to act.’ I said quickly as soon as I got the chance, everyone left the classroom and just the two of us stayed behind. LJoe slowly reached for my hand and held it firmly, leaning in a little closer with a small sad smile.

‘It’s ok, we don’t need to act like a couple at school, I know you’re not ready for this.. I'm sorry I rushed you into a relationship.’ His smile died and way too quickly, he left a small kiss on my cheek before disappearing out of the room, not sparing me another glance.

Shock took over my face, trying to understand what just happened, the kiss was so fast that I didn't even have time to process it and then, he just left me there. I wasn't even hungry anymore but I went out anyway, finding a spot alone at a tree and sat there to try to figure out my own thoughts. Upon remembering the kiss, I felt my cheeks heat up, but I also noticed that his lips are so soft. 

I wanted to feel them again, but on mine. I wanted him to hold my hand again because he felt so warm. I can't deny it, to try to avoid all the skinship and pretend that nothing is going on will be so hard, I think that I'm helplessly in love. After our break, I tried to seat as far from him as our desk allowed, trying to focus back on classes even though I was very much aware of his presence by my side.

Things seemed to be going well, until I felt his hand brushing mine under the table. I widened my eyes a little, feeling my face becoming red, but I didn't dare to look at him. LJoe bravely laced our figers together and gave my hand a gentle squeeze, making me bite back a smile and gently push his hand away, nodding at whatever the teacher was saying. 

A couple more minutes went by, but when I finally relaxed after his touch, I felt his hand on my thigh, much to my surprise. He gripped onto it softly, but even so I jumped a little on my seat, feeling my whole body burning now, a mix of feelings to be honest. I didn't think he would be so bold, specially not after what he said. 

I quickly got up from my seat and asked permission to go to the restroom. There, I splashed water on my red face a few times, trying to calm down. Confusion was all I had in me, my body definitely enjoyed his touches but I couldn't allow these things to happen at school. I took in a few deep breaths and waited for my face to cool down a bit, but when I was about to get out, LJoe walked in, a way too charming of a smirk on his lips.

‘I won't eat you, don't worry.’ He stepped closer and reached out to lightly cup my chin, thumb caressing my jawline, the smirk turning into a fond look that almost made me melt.

‘I'm your boyfriend now and when I said it made me really happy, I meant it.. so, I can't resist but to want to show you how happy it makes me.’ He spoke lowly as he got closer, until there was only an inch of space between us.

‘What...?’ Before I could ask or think any further, he closed the space between our lips, having his soft warm ones touching mine gently. I melted right away against him, returning the kiss maybe a little too eager and just as I was about to deepen it, he pulled away, making me let out a soft whine in frustation.

‘Oh? I thought you didn't want these interactions at school?’ He teased, a smirk now returning to his lips. I shot him a small glare, pushing him away and walking out of the restroom without a second thought, afraid that I would lose my control, after all his lips just happen to be the best thing I ever tried.

It was a little unfair that he just did that to me, he shouldn't have kissed me but since he did, he should have kissed me properly! I walked back in class obviously frustrated, but kept on with classes until it was time to leave, LJoe didn't dare to make any other jokes. I got out first, waiting for him in the hallway though. He looked like a lost puppy as he walked out of class, eyes searching everywhere for something and when they saw me, he smiled right away. So cute.

‘Wanna walk me home?’ I asked in a gentle tone, playfully adding some aegyo when no one was looking.

‘Want to kill me with your cuteness? Let’s go.’ He smiled and pushed me gently to the exit.

‘About this morning, I’m sorry again... I just got a little confused of what to do, it's all new to me...’ I mustered up some courage and reached out to hold his hand once we got out of school.

‘It's alright really, I... kind of thought it could happen.’ He smiled, genuinely this time as he gave my hand a small squeeze.

‘Mhm.. but you looked so sad, almost broke my heart to see you like that.’

‘Well... it hurt more than I thought it would to have you just walking right past me..’ His voice was quite soft now, to hear him saying that aloud definitely made me feel guilty and sorry, why was I even being that weird? Couples are a normal thing, so why should I worry if I am dating a guy? 

I suddenly stopped walking and hugged him tight. To finally feel his warmth made me relax and instantly forget about the worries I had this morning. He hugged me back and we stayed like that for a solid minute before we resumed walking, hand in hand with silly smiles on our faces. Much to my dismay, we soon reached my house and before waving goodbye, I gave his cheek a soft kiss.

Surprisingly, he was the one blushing this time around, that made me coo softly as he looked away, trying to hide his face. I boldly cupped his cheeks in my hands to make him look at me and leaned in for a peck on his lips instead. I could instantly feel his smile against my lips. After pulling away, I waved at him and got in my house. Today I realized that my imagination quite , his lips are so much better than what I thought.

A/N: Revised on 10.01.2022!
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