Kwangmin’s POV

We went back home in silence. Even though I wanted to talk to him and tell him all the things that I enjoyed during our “date”, there are many unexplainable thoughts running in my mind. The major question lingering in my head is why do I feel extremely happy right now? There’s this enormous happiness filling my chest that makes me want to hug and kiss my twin just to let it all out. Uhm…I just didn’t think of hugging and kissing my twin right? The hell’s wrong with me?!

When we arrived at the dorm, the members were already resting in their beds because we’d be having another energy-draining rehearsal tomorrow. I let Youngmin wash himself first because I know he feels sleepy already. I sat on my bed for a while as I waited for him to finish.

“So how’s the date?”

I almost freaked out when Minwoo spoke because I thought he was already asleep.

“Minwoo! I thought you were asleep! Anyway, the date was fun. Really fun.”

“So you’re not denying it’s a date now?” he smirked.

“Hey, I was the one who called it a date in the first place.”

“As usual, you’re really hard to understand hyung. You hate being teased with your twin yet you always act like a couple with him.”

“We don’t act like couples, we act like brothers!” I defended myself.

“Says the one who asked Youngmin-hyung for a date and treated him like a girlfriend a while ago…”

I could feel my cheeks warming up and I just wanted to strangle Minwoo to his death. A few minutes had passed before he spoke again.

“Hyung, I hope you don’t mind if I ask this. What do you feel about your brother?”

“Huh? What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer me honestly. I won’t tell Youngmin-hyung about it.”

I sighed exasperatedly, “Listen Minwoo. Youngmin is my brother, my twin! What feelings are you talking about? I love him as my brother and as my family. It’s normal to love and take care of each other right? Please don’t misunderstand my actions.”

To my surprise, Minwoo just chuckled and went back to his sleeping position a while ago, “Alright Kwangmin-hyung, I understand you. Goodnight!”

What the hell is wrong with this kid? Aren’t the members taking their jokes a little over the edge? But even though I’ve been convincing myself and even though I had said those words to Minwoo, I still can’t help but to think over my feelings for my twin. Do I really like him more than I should without noticing it? Or is it because we grow up together that’s why I act like the way I act towards him? Before my mind went crazy from all these thoughts, Youngmin had finally finish cleaning himself and climbed up the upper bunk (a/n: please forgive me if I got their bed/room positions wrong ^^;;). He covered himself with the quilt and I didn’t notice that I was watching his actions until he chuckled.

“What are you standing there for? Aren’t you going to wash yourself?”

“Uh…right.” I was rushing myself out the room when he suddenly called me.

“Kwangmin…”

“Y-Yes?”

“Thanks for today, and goodnight,” he said in a near whispered that almost melted my heart right then and there. I went near to our bunk and stepped on my lower bed so that I can reach him better in the upper bunk. I chuckled lightly as I saw him hugging the Panda stuffed toy that I gave him in the amusement park. I reached out to caress his hair a little and wonder if he found my actions weird. However, he just closed his eyes as if savoring the sweet gesture that I was doing to him.

“Goodnight my Youngmin. Sweet dreams.”

As I was getting out of the room, I swear I saw Minwoo smirking in his sleep.

The next day was tiring as usual. During our break, we were all suddenly craving for ice cream. Of course, we had a battle of rock-scissor-paper again to determine who would go out and buy for everyone. Unfortunately, I lost the game.

So here I am at the nearest convenience store buying ice creams. I was about to leave the store when someone called me.

“Kwangmin?”

I turned around and saw a very familiar pretty girl staring at me. I remembered her in an instant. Park Joomi, our classmate in middle school. How could I forget her? She was my crush and I really admired her a lot. She was perfect and almost half of the boys in school wanted to be her boyfriend. I wanted to confess to her but I was really shy back then. I didn’t get a chance to do it when she transferred. Looking at her now, she looked even prettier.

“Uhm…I’m not sure if you remember me but-“

“You’re Joomi-ssi right. Park Joomi,” I smiled. “It’s nice to see you again.”

She blushed and she can’t seem to look at me, “I…I’m glad that you remember me even though we haven’t really talked much in middle school. Uhm, I see you’re very popular now. Congratulations on debuting.”

“Thank you but we’re still nothing compared to the senior groups,” I chuckled lightly. “I would like to catch up with you more but I need to bring these to the members.” I lifted the plastic of ice creams to show her.

“Oh, then you better go now. Sorry for taking your time.”

“No, it’s fine. Uhm…can I have your number? It’s really rare to meet old classmates. I hope you don’t mind” and I hope she bought my excuse.

She seemed to be dazed by my question for a while but she suddenly got back to her senses, “Oh…of course! Of course you can.”

After we exchanged numbers, we parted and I went back to the dance studio.

“Kwangmin! What took you so long?” Hyunsung-hyung whined.

“Sorry guys, but I just met someone a while ago!”

“You better make sure that someone is as important as Girls’ Generation to make us wait like this,” Donghyun-hyung joked.

“Better than Girls’ Generation!” I proudly said. “She’s my middle school crush, Park Joomi! Youngmin, do you remember her? The pretty and popular girl in middle school?”

I waited for Youngmin to back up my description about her but he seemed to have frozen a bit. “Uh…Youngmin?”

Youngmin snapped out of his trance and smiled…which looked kind of forced to me, “Oh…Park Joomi? Yeah…I kinda remember her. You even told me before that you wanted to…confess to her,” he said in a low voice. Why does my twin look suddenly sad all of a sudden?

“So, what did you do with her?” Minwoo asked and he sounded a little irritated.

“We exchanged numbers. I’m hoping we can meet again sometime.”

I expected some cheers and encouragement from my members but they were all quiet. Youngmin suddenly stood from his place.

“Uhm, I’ll go to the washroom first,” he quickly went out of the studio before we could respond.

“Is Youngmin feeling sick?” I suddenly felt worried and asked the members.

“Well, he was fine a while ago,” Donghyun-hyung answered. “Let me check on him.”

“No, I’ll-“

“Let Donghyun-hyung check himself,” Minwoo suddenly cut me off and I don’t really get why he looked irritated. I just let Donghyun-hyung go instead.

They came back 30 minutes later and Youngmin’s eyes looked red and puffy. Did he cry?! I instantly approached him and asked, “Are you not feeling well? Do you want to go home?”

He gave a small smile before answering, “I’m good Kwangmin, just a bit tired.”

“But…you cried.”

He chuckled, “You know how I get easily frustrated sometimes. There’s this step that I don’t really get so I’m going to ask Donghyun-hyung for help.”

“Donghyun-hyung? Why not Minwoo? He’s the main dancer,” I don’t know why I feel irritated over the fact that he’s having more moments with Donghyun-hyung today.

“Minwoo’s tyring to choreograph some steps so I don’t want to disturb him.”

I let the matter off because I can sense that Youngmin doesn’t want to talk anymore. I just watched him as he went to Donghyun-hyung and practiced the steps with him.

I messaged Joomi that night and had a little chat with her. We updated each other about our lives as if we were the best of friends in middle school. I easily got comfortable with her and we got to meet again the following week. She’s really such a nice person and I wonder if I could work a relationship with her this time. It will be different since she’s not a celebrity. Maybe that was the problem after all. My relationships with my fellow idols never worked because we both had busy schedules and we don’t have time to know each other more. We live in a world where we fake many things about ourselves that sometimes, I get disappointed when the girl I admired was actually not what I expected her to be. With Joomi, I know that she’s real because she doesn’t have an image to protect. Maybe she’s the perfect one.

Of course, I got to consult this to Youngmin like I always do.

“Youngmin~~” I approached him the moment we got the time to be alone. Minwoo was in the other hyungs’ room doing God knows what. Youngmin was just in our room lying in his bed but not sleeping.

“What is it?”

I climbed on his bed so we can talk better, “You know I mentioned about Joomi last time right…I’m thinking of confessing to her.”

He laughed shallowly and I didn’t like the sound of it, “You’re joking right. I thought we talked about this last time.”

“Yeah, I know but, I think Joomi’s different. I really got this feeling that it will work this time!”

“How can you be so sure?” he started sounding really hateful and it was scaring me.

“Well…she’s not an idol. She’s an ordinary girl and she’s real. And besides, I liked her way back then.”

Youngmin closed his and inhaled deeply as if he was controlling his anger from exploding, “You know what Kwangmin? I don’t care anymore. Do what you want and stop asking me about these things! And don’t even come to me if it doesn’t work again! I don’t even know why you keep on pestering me with your lovelife when I haven’t been in a relationship once! I only know one kind of love and it’s an unrequited one! Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be going back to sleep.”

I was completely frozen for a while with his sudden outburst as he covered himself entirely with the quilt. I didn’t expect him to be this mad. He was always so understanding even though I know he was tired of my unstable lovelife. And Youngmin had an unrequited love?! Why didn’t I know about it when we tell each other everything?! Who’s this lucky person…I mean, jerk who hurt my twin by rejecting him?

“Y-Youngmin…”

“Shut up and leave me alone!”

I heard his voice shake with a tone of disappointment and anger. I knew he was crying and I hated this. I hated making him feel hurt like this. I hated myself even though I don’t really understand why he had to react so vehemently over this matter.

“I’m sorry Youngmin…”

I was answered with a sniff and I realized that he has no plans of talking to me for now. I went down from his bed and heartbrokenly left the room.

____________________

I really wanted to write more fluffy moments but I got to build the conflict first ^^;;

Thank you for those who commented and subscribed :)

and thanks again to jotwins0424 for giving me some tips^^