Lost. Terrified. Shaken to the core.

Kibum hasn’t felt these since he was five, since his parents died. To have someone very dear taken away with no warnings whatsoever could be the cruelest thing that can ever happen to a person. And it was something that Kibum was not prepared to go through again. Not now. Not ever.

So as he watched the nurses rush in and out of the unit his grandmother was in, he couldn’t help the weakness he felt in his legs nor the dizziness in his head. He wasn’t crying, no. He was in denial, refusing to believe that his grandmother was struggling to stay alive in there. She was just taking a nap because she has been so tired lately.

Yes, that’s what she was doing….

“Kibum-ah….”

Kibum stirred awake from his place on the floor beside the unit’s door. He blinked as Jonghyun entered his vision.

“Halmeoni… Where is she?” Kibum asked the first thing on his mind. He began panicking when he saw that there were no more signs of anyone moving inside the unit now.

“Calm down, Kibum. She has been moved to a ward. You can go see her now. They managed to get her heart beating again. Thank god!” Jonghyun said, looking pretty exhausted himself. He must have been up since he drove Kibum and his grandmother to the hospital yesterday.

Kibum silently praised whoever it was up there in the heavens listening for granting him this blessing. If he had lost his grandmother….

No, he wouldn’t even think of it. She’s fine now. Everything’s fine.

Kibum visited his grandmother in her ward. The sight of her being hooked up to machines that were monitoring her heart rate was simply heartbreaking. It was a harsh reality bite to Kibum since he was still catching up to everything that has happened thus far. He held her hand, the one not hooked to the drip, and talked to her even though he knew she wouldn’t be able to hear him. He told her to get better, to talk back to him, to scold him, be mad at him. Anything at all.

She remained quiet and soon, Kibum fell silent too.

Kibum didn’t move from his place until Jonghyun came up behind him and told him that they had to go home. Even then, Kibum refused to budge from his place.

“You can’t stay here, Kibum. You haven’t eaten and you need some rest. We’ll come back first thing tomorrow, okay?” Jonghyun spoke as if he was speaking to a child. In fact, Kibum did feel like a child now.

“I’m not leaving here. Yongin is two hours away,” Kibum told him. Living in a small village came with its disadvantages. For example, the big hospitals with all the important facilities are all so far away- just like this one is. Yesterday, they had to stop at a small clinic in Yongin itself to get his grandmother some vital first aid before driving all the way out here. Kibum just didn’t want to be so far from his grandmother.

“I know, Kibum. But you have no place to stay here. And like I said, you still need rest. We’ll be back early tomorrow morning. Nurses here will take care of your grandmother for tonight. You don’t have to worry!” Jonghyun tried convincing Kibum.

It took several more minutes of convincing before Kibum rationalized that he needed to at least go home to bring some of his grandmother’s clothes. Kibum obliged unwillingly to Jonghyun’s words. He promised his grandmother that he would be back soon and he had to force himself to walk out the ward, his legs as heavy as lead.

Jonghyun fell asleep on Kibum’s lap on their way home with Jinki behind the wheels. Kibum couldn’t fall asleep for his heart was far away behind him, back in the ward where he left his grandmother. The exhaustion was just not enough to put Kibum under. Instead, it replayed last night’s events over and over again in his head. Too many ‘what if’s clouded his thoughts.

What if he had not heard his grandmother fainting and gotten to her in time?

What if Jonghyun had not heard it too and ran back to the house?

What if Kibum found his grandmother too late and wasn’t able to get help for her as quick as he did last night, thanks to Jonghyun and Jinki?

Kibum felt numb. Still in denial, he supposed. Was he comforted that his grandmother was no longer in a critical situation and just in a state of unconsciousness? Not really. He wouldn’t be until he sees her smile…

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Jonghyun asked for the umpteenth time that day. Kibum shook his head tiredly. He wanted to be left alone, to get himself organized. He had to fix himself up because he cannot be in this messy state, physically and emotionally, when his grandmother woke up. Kibum presumed that the solitary time would help him do that exactly.

“I’ll see you in the morning then!’ Jonghyun said, patting him on the back once before turning to leave.

“Take care, Kibum-shii…” Jinki said in a fatherly manner. Kibum bowed in respect as the older turned to leave as well.

“Hyung…-“ Kibum called out to Jonghyun weakly, “-Thank you….”

And that was all it took to convey his gratitude to Jonghyun because his best friend, of all people, would understand the infinite amount of emotions that went into that simple phrase. Jonghyun gave him a small smile before they drove off.

That evening, Kibum lay on his beddings on the floor in his room, watching the lightnings light up the sky and tear it up in an angry manner. Thunders roared deafeningly, replacing the eerie silence of the night with terrifying resonance. It was far too early to sleep but Kibum had already done everything that needs to be done. Except for eating, that is. In all his frantic running around, he had forgotten about his hunger and now when he had the time to eat, he had simply lost his appetite. The only thing on his mind was the eagerness to see his grandmother the next morning and that in itself was enough to drive away every other thought.

Thud… Thud… Thud…

Kibum heard a faint sound from his front door but he assumed that it was the wind blowing. However, the sound became hard to ignore as it continued incessantly, growing in amplitude every time. He finally decided to get up and go check what was causing the noise.

Kibum was not prepared for what he was to see when he opened the door.

A fully soaked and dripping Minho stood in front of him, shivering. He was in his military uniform, carrying the rifle that Kibum despised so much. His teeth were chattering so bad that he couldn’t utter a single coherent word.  Kibum stared at him in confusion as to what he was doing here at this time of the night.

“Y….you..your… gra-“ Minho struggled pathetically.

Kibum forgot all his earlier hostility towards the other as his maternal instincts, that he inherited from his grandmother, took over. He pulled the other into the house, closing the door before dragging Minho to his room. He made him sit on the floor (only mildly registering in his mind the fact that he had the man he had fallen in love with, sitting on his bedding inside his bedroom)  and went to grab a towel, all the while cursing Minho for being stupid enough to be out in the rain until he became like this.

“What the hell were you doing out in the rain?!” Kibum asked harshly when he came back to him with the towel. He kneeled in front of Minho and began drying his hair. Kibum pushed all other thoughts about everything that has happened between the two of them aside and concentrated only on making Minho as warm as possible.

Minho was still too cold to give him a proper answer but he managed to get one word out that made Kibum understand the reason he was here.

“Ha…Halmeoni…”

Kibum stopped to look the other in the eye. Minho’s were telling him a million stories, each of a different emotion, although the concern overshadowed all the rest. Was he worried about Kibum? Kibum felt slightly elated by the fact.

 Kibum didn’t want to show Minho his weakness and so he put on a strong act. He willed himself to not give in to those compassionate eyes that were seeing right through him as though he was transparent.

“She- She’s fine now… T-take off your shirt. I’ll get you something dry,” Kibum stuttered, feeling vulnerable for being so easily read by this army man.

When Kibum got back, Minho had already removed his shirt and his rifle from his back, placing them both by his side. Kibum passed him one of the biggest shirts he owned. Minho reached out for it but he took hold of Kibum’s wrist instead of the shirt.

“A-and y…you?” Minho had to battle with his tongue to get those words out. Kibum looked away from him, yanking his hand away and handing him the shirt roughly. He didn’t want to answer that question. It would reveal too much.

“Me? I’m obviously fine. Halmeoni’s doing better now. She’s no longer in a critical position… Now, put that on before you catch a cold,” Kibum said, looking out the window. The lightnings were still painting streaks of white on the dark canvas. The somber mood of the night seemed to compliment his own.

His eyes were burning, signs of oncoming tears. Kibum suppressed them, feeling so weak for breaking down at the sound of just the two simple words ‘And you’.

That wasn’t very surprising, considering that his walls have been crumbling down, brick by brick, from the very first moment he met Minho.

A calloused hand found its way to Kibum’s cheek, pressing inhumane coldness to his own warm skin. Kibum flinched just a little, mostly from the coldness but also partly from a distant memory of being touched this very way by Minho before. It ended badly the last time it happened. Knowing that, Kibum still couldn’t help himself from relaxing into the touch.

Why does everything that was so simple seem that much more significant with Minho?

The hand coaxed Kibum to turn to look into those dark jet orbs yet again.

“How are you Kibum?” Minho finally managed to say without much teeth chattering this time.

“I- I-“ Kibum stuttered again, the snappy answer he had prepared in his mind failing to be delivered by his mouth. A lone, betraying tear escaped the corner of his eyes. It opened the way for more. Before he knew it, Kibum was sobbing uncontrollably.

Minho didn’t say a word. He pulled Kibum closer and hugged him tightly, as though to prevent Kibum from breaking further than he already has. Kibum let all the tears he hadn’t even realized that he was holding back fall, wetting Minho’s chest again after it being temporarily dry earlier.

“I was… so scared… She… cannot…She must not go.. I need her…I’m sc-scared..” Kibum said in between hiccups. He was not making sense with his words but somehow he knew that Minho understood him. He gripped Minho’s shoulders like they were his lifeline. It must have been painful to him but he never said a thing.

Minho only listened patiently.

Somewhere between the sobbing and the rambling, Kibum had climbed onto the other’s lap. The wetness of his pants seeped into Kibum’s pants, making him cold as well. But Kibum didn’t have a single intention to move away. It should have been awkward at the very least to be like that, but everything felt so natural to Kibum. He wasn’t sure if Minho felt the same way, though. Remembering what Minho had last said to him that eventful night so long ago, Kibum felt guilty for using the other for comfort in this manner.

“I- I’m sorry…” Kibum managed out once there were no more tears. He made a move to get away, feeling truly sorry for burdening Minho with all his worries. The man probably came here to ask of his grandmother’s well-being in gratitude for all her kindness in the past and here he was, probably irritating the other with his immaturity.

But then again, why come out here in the rain, in the middle of the night if he was just being polite?

Minho’s grip turned into those of iron as soon as Kibum started pushing away a little. With one smooth maneuver, Minho had Kibum lying on his chest. His arms formed a cage around Kibum that he was all too willing to be trapped in.

“Wha- What are-“

“No. I’m sorry, Kibum. For being such an idiot,” Minho said resolutely. Kibum looked up at him to find the other with an apologetic expression on his face. Why?

Kibum didn’t question him further. Instead, he allowed himself to enjoy this moment while it lasted. He allowed his face to rest on the other’s chest, the position allowing him to hear the other’s steady heartbeat. He allowed his fingers to curl around the other’s waist, just to have more skin contact more than anything else.

He allowed the presence that was Minho to chase all his worries away, even if it was for just a while.

“Are you staying?” Kibum asked, referring to not tonight only.

“I’m never leaving you again Kibum,” Minho said, caressing the side of Kibum’s face.

Minho could have been lying to comfort Kibum for all he cared, but that was all that Kibum needed to hear to fall into a calm slumber that night. Minho’s cold chest (which eventually warmed up), the sound of his beating heart, his gentle touches; it all put Kibum in a peaceful state of mind.

Kibum had been saying that everything was going to be fine the entire day. But in this moment, being in Minho’s arms this way, he finally believed it for the first time that day.

(A/N) Hello beloved readers!! Repost of my 13th chapter as promised! AFF deleted it when it was going through the server issue a few days back and to be honest, I didn't really mind because I already had it saved. (It was to improve the website right) What I mind (in fact I was pissed off about this) is that my new comments and new subscribers were all gone!!! I really hate it when things like this happen. It feels like all your hard work goes to nothing because the only satisfaction one gets from writing here is the joy of entertaining ppl and getting feedback on it. To put it in simple words, AFF took away my cookies!!! :'(

Enough of my angry ranting. On a much happier note, MY PARENTS SAID YES WHEN I ASKED IF I COULD GO TO SHINEE'S CONCERT IN SINGAPORE THIS DECEMBER!!!!!!! Yes, this would require me taking a flight to watch the boys live and that would mean using up a large amount of my parent's money... BUT IT'S GONNA BE TOTALLY WORTH IT RIGHT??!!! (i sound like a spoilt child, don't I?) OMG, when my parents said yes, i was like clinging onto them like the crazy fangirl I am, thanking them endlessly. Seriously, my parents are the best!!! I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD (although you won't be reading this since you don't read my stories...) *squeals until she dies*

*Clears throat*

I am a very mature person, in case I confused you with my childishness earlier....

Anyways, thank you guys for reading and commenting!!! It really means A LOT to me people...  I will update the next chapter tomorrow because I'm super tired. It's quite long compared to my other chapters (Idek why...) I hope you guys could be just a little more patient... Thank you!!!

Have a good day!!! <3

@lostmytrinhofthought~ Tell me about it, I was pissed off at AFF for days!! But it's okay now. I've fixed things again... I couldn't keep Minkey apart for too long, my MinKey shipping heart wouldn't allow it... Hehehee... Thank you for reading and COMMENTING!! :D

@hardkoreluv~ Hahaha I see you liked the fluff... There is more to come, you just wait for it... :) And yeah, German... my new adversary... I shall conquer it some day... Thank you so much for your encouragement and for commenting!!!