That sounds mean there’s someone comes. Hey, wait, who did enter my room without knock the door? It’s impossible if there’s someone who dare.

 

Might it her?

 

“Jooyoungie,” That soft voice.......... I miss it. Really really miss it. Even the words can’t explain.

 

“Mom!” I cried while run to hug her who still standing in front of the door. 

“How have you been, darl? I miss you so,” She my hair softly.

 

“How can i be fine without you, Mom? If you missed me, why did you just comeback now? Why?” I cried louder than before. Those tears had overflowed again now. Ah, and yes might also on Mom’s shoulder.

 

“I know. I’m sorry for everything. I’m too busy handled our business in Paris,” She clapped my back had an eye to stop me for crying so loud.

 

I know it looked so childish, but, hey, imagine that you were me. Live like a princess in fairy land. Everyone will bow to you everytime you pass. But behind that, my life is so pathetic. Imagine that.

 

Mom guided me into the king size bed just like in Barbie Movie. I told you, i’m a pathetic princess.

“Why can you be so skinny? Didn’t you take care of yourself properly?” She snapped my nose. I didn’t answer.

 

“Why can my Barbie’s face being like that?”

 

Again and again, i didn’t answer. I went down my face in her shoulder. I hugged her again, even tightly than before. I don’t want let her go. If she has too, i really can’t her go. Secretly, i dropped my tears slowly.

 

“Don’t cry anymore,” she said. “Please. I beg for it,” 

 

Out of the blue, Mom realized that i was crying. I still unwilling to had a voice.

 

“I heard you have problem with Raneul,” 

 

What?

She knows that? 

 

I eased her embrace away. This time i took upon to see her eyes. Our pupils met each other. I gave her a ‘you-knew-that?’ gaze. “Mrs. Jung told me.” Mom said. “Raneul was crying. She was inside her room all day long.”

 

I blinked my eyes several times. There was a long awkward silence because there was no one from us who had a voice yet.

 

“Oh, have you had dinner, anyway?” I called away the attention. “If you haven’t yet, we can have it to—“

 

“What happened between you two?” She cut my words. Damn, my plan didn’t work this time.

 

I sighed. I feel annoyed with that question. I don’t feel like to answer it. I stared at her again. Oh God, i knew she still gave me the same gaze before i answered it.

 

“Nothing serious,” I answered reluctantly.

 

“You can’t do that, Park Jooyoung. She’s your bestie since you two were a kid,” Mom told me seriously. I know she’s in anger now because she always call me with my full name whenever she’s angry.

 

“You two were always up a tree on the lunch time. You two were swimming and camping excitedly every summer. You two were sharing blanket every winter,” She laboured the point. “And i even thought that you two are inseparable. So, what happened now?” I stared at her blankly. I can’t say anything. She’s right. Raneul is my bestie ever. I have regarded her as my own sister.

 

Suddenly, i flashed back the moments we were together. On the snowy winter day, she came to the veranda of my house while shivering. She kept on biting his lower lip. Immediately, i shouted loudly and asked the maids for a wool blanket and also a pair of clothes. I brought her into my room. She told me what happened after she changed clothes and drank a cup of jasmine tea. I was laughing so hard when she told me what happened exactly.

 

“I was so curious about the weather outside. I want to play with the snow and make snowball. So, i decided to came out from the window.” She told me still with her pale face. “After i satisfied enough, i came back and found out that my window can’t opened. I tried it again and again but it was end in nothing. Then, i ran to the gate and shouted to the maids to open the gate. But no one heard me,”

 

I smiled. Remembered those times make me down hearted. Can’t i just go back to those times? Can’t i just have time machine? Can’t i just ask Doraemon to repeated the times? Can’t i just change the fate that we love the same guy? Can’t i just never meet a precious guy named Byun Baekhyun before?

 

 

Can’t I? Can’t I? Can’t I?

 

Yes, because i definitely can’t.