Luhan obviously wouldn't let me sleep anywhere but the bed; and apparently he argued the bed was his so he had the right to squish right in. Where was the Luhan who would ignore me the days before? He held me. He knew I've always loved his singing, that brat. Sang me a lullaby to sleep. True enough his voice was soothing and my eyelids dropped in no time.

The two boys woke me up with loud doorbell rings the early in the morning. I realised that being a mafia is not an easy thing to handle, definitely not what people has always thought.

"Our gang has fallen."

Chanyeol's father is planning to leave for another country, the rival gang had taken over the area, which one of them would had pushed Chanyeol off the street. It was revenge, Kyungsoo said biting his lips. Suho and Kyungsoo are staying though, saying they'd have enough money they have saved all this while to open up a new business. They left me their numbers and new address, inviting Luhan and I to look for them in the future.

I miss Chanyeol. I never got to see him the last time.

+++

Luhan had gotten me leave from school, both his mine. I was just staring in blank space while Luhan cooked me a snack. He came over with two plates of omelette, and a smile on his face.

"Why Luhan?" I asked.

With an unchanging expression the put down the utensils without looking at me, "what why?"

I sighed. "Why are you treating me to this extent Luhan? You know me, I can manage things myself... I can pretend nothing ever happened," I said looking into his eyes. He didn't avoid my gaze, yet he came closer and cupped my face in his soft hands. "_____..."

I knew it. I saw this coming. I always have. It was the same with Chanyeol.

First we would be strangers and they would just jump in suddenly with a stupid confession, then I would be stupid enough to fall for them, and be the stupid  one in the end because I know, they would leave me in the end. Chanyeol did. Chanyeol.

I pushed his hands away hard. "Maybe I liked you better when you ignored me." His eyes blinked a hint of sadness. He didn't even try to explain himself. I went on, "You know I'm not ready for anything yet Luhan, isn't that what you're doing to me now, being by my side and watch over me, and then leave me when I'm ready?"

He continued digging into his food.  "Luhan speak to me!" I yelled.

He threw his fork down without a word and stomped next to me, cupping my face once more time before leading me into a kiss aggressively. It was filled with angst. I kept hitting his chest with my fists but to no avail. His thumb swiped my cheek away from my falling tears. He accidentally bit my lower lip a bit too hard, then I could taste the bitter metallic substance on my tongue. He realised that and moved away immediately.

"I have always loved you _____! You never realised, I loved you before that guy did! I was never in your league... you never noticed the small things I've always done for you. Haven't you wondered why we were friends for this long and yet I never had a girlfriend? I was devoted to you.Then he had to appear out of nowhere and just take you away from me like that. I thought my heart was burning holes. But if it made you happy... then okay, Chanyeol it is for you. Then all these things happen, do you think I can comprehend?! You know I would go through a hard time if it was you going through one! I just, don't want to see you sad, you know?!"

"I'm... sorry." Realising what he had just done, Luhan stared down at me for a few moments before walking to his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

I should have seen this coming.

I finished up my plate silently and wrote him a note, leaving it on the table before heading outside for some fresh air. 

+++

How long have I been inside? I enjoyed the sunshine on my skin, and a little sweat - the walk to the bus stand was neither near nor that far away. Thankfully the bus came as soon as I reached. I got on and tried to enjoy my ride, throwing everything in my mind away; those unnecessary thoughts. I was my and the last destination on the 30 minute ride. I was the only passenger left.

I got down and took in a very deep breath as I indulged the scenery before me. I was standing before a vast meadow, knee-high lavenders grown everywhere. I took my shoes off and walked on the soft earth. Not to mention the flowers were giving out a mind easing fragrance. After a while I stopped and dropped my body to the ground.

Blue skies, white clouds, purple lavenders. Then came along a face I have missed in the sky.

"Chanyeol..." I whispered, hands stretching out trying to reach to him. It was the face of his usual grinning self, his perfect row of pearly whites showing. A ar stained my left cheek without notice. As if on cue I hear a soft whisper, just follow your heart, and his face disappeared.