Two
Still You
My heart leaps... no, my heart stop from beating, my world stop from revolving. Pain strikes my heart as the moment I saw the face I don't really want to see. I should always expect the unexpected, should I? My feet don't want to move. I forced myself to move and pretend that everything is all right and I don't know him.
Him...
Why on earth we meet again? And why on earth I will ended up being his seatmate. His eyes never leave me. He has his mouth slightly open. I settled myself down and tried hard to focus on the discussion in the whole time. I can sense that he is tense, I can sense that he keeps glancing on me. The bell rings. Students eagerly goes out... some runs out...
I fixed my book and keep it in my bag, as soon as I'm done I get up making my way out of this room. I feel suffocating knowing he's still around me. I walks out from the room and stop by someone who grabs my arm.
Sunho: Meg...
He called, that voice... that voice that I want to forget, his voice who right now drives me insane and his touch who makes me weak.. I didn't expect that he still has this effect on me. I didn't dare looking at him cause the pain is rising up in my heart. I promised myself two years ago to completely forget him and I thought I did it but right now, it seems I didn't.
Sunho: Meg, when did you arrive?
He asked me in my language. Goodness! Somebody help me get out here. I need to breathe now or else I might die. He didn't let go of my arm yet. I tried pulling my arm out of his grip but he didn't let me. I turn around and make a smile on my face- a fake smile.
Megan: It's good to see you again, Sunho. How's life?
I asked him using my language since he was the one who used it first.
Sunho: I'm good. You? When did you arrive?
Megan: my life goes well. Nothing really change.
I answered him pretending that everything is all right but deep inside the pain is getting worst. I'm not a good pretender though, and if he still knows me well, he'll figure out that I'm just pretending.
- his -
She stills the girl who easy to read.
I was so shocked and surprised seeing her stepping inside the class a while ago. Meeting her again is one of my dream, and now that we meet again it seems like I am dreaming... day-dreaming... I can't believe myself staring at her... I know she recognized me a while ago because I red it in her eyes. Each steps she made a while ago making her way to my place makes my heart leaps... it's like my heart will explode in so much happiness...
Yes, I am happy to see her again, it's a dream come true as a matter of fact. Just a month ago, it was 18th day of September when I made a decision of paying a visit in her country to see her again... 18th day of September was the day she became my girl. She became my world... 18th day of September was the day I broke her heart, I left her in pain that I regretted and I still do now. And now, she's standing in front of me, holding her arm... she's facing me with her fake smile...
there is one thing for sure--I never do stop loving her... I never dare to stop and I always do love her...
Megan: let go of my arm, I have to go.
She said in my language... I shook my head and pull her to somewhere... She struggle but who cares, this is my moment now... I have to clear everything and my chance to have her back... I have to grab this chance, it's now or never...
- her -
damn this guy, pulling me from somewhere... I forced pulling out my arm from his grip but he's stronger than I am. We stopped in school garden... he then released me..
Megan: what the hell is wrong with you?!
Sunho: I want to tallk.
Megan: there is nothing to talk about....
I turned around, my back facing him and about to walk and stop from my step when he suddenly talk.
Sunho: I'm sorry... I left you broken... I give you so much pain... I tried my best to explain... I tried hard but your ears are closed to listen, you mind and heart both filled with so much anger... I tried so hard, Meg... Believe me... this time, I'm willing to give all the damn just to make you listen... Please...
Tears forming and I have to look up to stop them from falling. My heart aches, it makes me hard to breathe, making my heart stop from beating...
It was the best day of my life having the most wonderful boyfriend, he might not perfect boyfriend but he made me feel so special in his simple way... he, who the only one who understands me and accept me from who and what I am. He, who gonna help me healing all the pain in my heart that I've been keeping through all the years...
My mom abandoned me when I was still six month old baby, I don't know her identity... I've been yearning to meet her one day in my life. I grew up with my dad's full affections, he was the one who sacrifices alot... he gives me all the love, care and understanding that I needed to. My dad never fail showing how much he loves me and how proud he is having me. Because of that, I dedicated myself to my dad, I do everything that he'll make himself proud of me, I studied hard and earned lot of achievements but still, I feel the emptiness. I was envy watching my classmates with their moms everyday in my life.. I was envy because everything I want is in me but then, I don't have a mom.
Meeting Sunho and making friends with him, he gained my trust. It was friday night and it was raining. Sunho send me home, arriving home, Dad welcome me in a tight embrace, next to him was my Aunt--Kevin's mom. Dad do hug me but not kinda like this. He tight me hug and he had a teary eyes. He knew Sunho since he was my friend. The next thing I see, is a woman who's staring at me... she's smiling at me, for some reason I felt anxious, I felt my heart beating fast.
That woman was my mom... after how many years she appeared, She cried and hugged me tight. Aunt never like her at all, dad on the other side just watching me with Sunho next to him. I cried hard... I didn't dare questioning my biological mom why she had to abandoned me... That day I felt I'm complete, finally I am. I can tell everyone that I have a mom too.
But the happiness ended after three days, everything that mom showed me was all an act, in front of dad she'll treat me well but when dad wasn't around anymore she'll gonna abuse me like hell, I always have to put some cream on my skin to cover my bruises up... she told me that I'm stupid and I'm a trash, she's pulling me down... Sunho was the one who I leaned on and so I realized that I'm in love with him. He confessed and I accepted. He always send me home and stayed for long just to make sure that mom won't hurt me. He cares for me so much... He told me to tell dad how badly mom treating me but I was so scared that dad will explode in anger and hurt mom physically after all she's my mom.
Everything ended when he, himself was the one who told dad about my situation, dad rushed home and quickly looked for me, he's behind dad. It was the moment mom beating me up because I accidentally heard her talking to a man on the phone.... she talked sweetly and when she saw me she ended the call and make her way towards me and starting yelling at me and then beating me up. Dad saw everything and exploded in anger, I was there crying hard and Sunho approached and comfort me...
After that painful experienced with mom, I never see her again... it took me some times to get over with that traumatic experienced and found myself feeling much envy with those people who has loving and caring mom which I don't. Sunho was there all along and dad as well, they both kept asking how I feel and if I'm all right. They both dare and Sunho became the most special person in my heart besides dad.
It was 18th day of September, the best day--it's Sunho's and I first year anniversarry as a couple. I want to make it special... I want to thank him for everything he done for me... for the love, for the care and for the understanding and being my shoulder to lean on...
But that day, he didn't show up... no calls, no text messages... I'm starting to worried... I went out from the class and starting walking around, I stopped in music room when I spotted a familiar one who's standing there with a girl... I clear my vision and I saw him... him...kissing...he's kissing our classmate... I accidentally made a sound by dropping the lunch I made for him, making him turned around and shocked registered on his face as he see me there standing... tears fall down non-stop. I run away... away from that place..
I'm shot by the pain... a pain that almost caused me to die... I cursed lot of words that I don't usually do. I hate this things... I wasn't hurt physically but emotionally... my mind went black and all I can do is to cry... I went home, locked myself in my room... I didn't dare finishing the whole day class. He runs after me but I don't want to see his face... the picture of him kissing a girl is like a tattoo in my mind that I can't erase. it's like a nightmare that I want to wake up...
I didn't intent listening to him... I closed my heart, my ears for him. I promised to completely forget him. I ignored him with all my strenght. I let myself hate him to the core. He left and I had no care at all. I always locked myself with my friends so he can't talked to me.
And now, two years had been passed and we meet again... and he's here now with me telling me to listen to her...
Sunho: I'm sorry for what have I done. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't cheat on you. I love you, Meg and I still do. I never stop loving you... Please, listen to me... that day... she promised me to help me to surprise you--
Megan: and you guys made me surprised though. Listen, Sunho, there is no sense talking this again... it's been two years and I moved on.
Sunho: liar.
Megan: am I?
then someone called my name out--Kevin. He waves his hand to me and approached us. Sunho was taken aback. I never introduced Kevin to him even once.
Kevin: I've been looking for you, bee.
he said smiling at me. Bee. He addressed me as Bee because dad used to call me baby... and he, himself called me "bee" the last syllable of "baby".
Sunho: who is he?
Kevin: who is he?
both of them asked me the same question.
Megan: Kevin, he's Sunho and Sunho, he's Kevin.
Sunho: he's your??
Megan: none of your business, Sunho. Let's go, Kev.
I told Kevin and he nodded his head. We left Sunho alone there I didn't bother to look back. At the end of the day I didn't attend class. I went home with Kevin. We are so lazy to attend class longer so we decided to hang out instead.
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