The moment Onew hyung and Taemin were out of sight, I suddenly fell into my knees. Tears began falling unstoppably from my eyes. I clutched my shirt in pain, trying to feel my heart. To figure out if it's still beating or has finally decided to give up on me. I felt numb. I thought I was going just fine. I thought I was okay. I thought I was already numb enough to feel any more pain. But I was proven wrong. I underestimated my feelings. I underestimated Lee Taemin and the things he could do to me. I was so stupid. And now I'm here, missing him so damn much even  though we've just seen each other moments ago. But I'm not saying I miss him because he just left with Onew hyung. I'm saying I miss him because I miss him. I miss him, Taemin. The Taemin who always has that cheerful smile on his face. The Taemin who never frowns. The Taemin who always has that jolly tone in his voice that would instantly lift your mood up. Like a chain reaction. The Taemin who was always right beside me. The Taemin who was mine.

But now,  seeing those misty brown eyes, that Taemin was long gone. And I've lost my chance. My precious Taemin, he's gone. The only person that lights up my dim world has been taken away before I could run back to him and tell him that I'll never ever let him go ever again.

And now, I have nothing else I can do but to just wait for something that I know  will never ever come 

~

"I'm okay now, hyung. Don't worry." Taemin muttered under the thick sheets I had tucked him in.  I chuckeld at him before I planted a light kiss on his forehead.

"Well, I can't help it. It's natural, you know. I'm always worried about you because you're a kluts and I love you." I smiled at him warmly. He suddenly then sat up, sniffing in air like a cute puppy.

 "Yah, why did you get-mmphh!!" I was yelling at him, but then he hugged me so tightly I can barely even breathe. But I hugged him back anyway. Suddenly, I felt my shoulder getting wetter every second, followed by sobs and stutters coming from Taemin's mouth. I felt my heart drop and tried pulled away from the hug to face him, but he only tightened his grip on me. Then I heard those words...

"H-hyung...d-don't leave m-me...don't leave me like h-he d-did. P-pleas-se."

My arms that were just around him then fell to my sides. He hugged me even tighter when I did that, maybe thinking I would just leave him there. I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself together. I've always hated seeing him like this. I knew he was tired of his life back then, but I never knew there was actually someone who was responsible for all his sufferings.  Not until now. The moment I realized that, I quickly put my arms back around him.  I hugged him tight, letting him feel that I'm just right there with him. Letting him feel safe. Letting him feel that he could never be harmed as long as I'm with him. I know he's strong. But right now, he just seemed so fragile and helpless in my arms.

"Taemin-ah, uljima. Sop crying, please. I'm right here. I won't ever leave you. Please never ever think that I would ever leave you. Because I will never ever let you go. I promise you that."  I whispered to him. I then pulled back from the embrace then took a look at his face. Eyes swollen, cheeks wet from the tears and lips quivering. Then his eyes met my worried ones. He looked so scared. So helpless. As if he would collapse in my arms any moment. I then lifted my hand t touch his face. He shivered from the touch, as if it was so foreign t him even though I've been doing that for a long time. But this time, it's as if this was  all new to him. And I can't help but feel guilty and I dont know why. 

As I leaned in closer  and closer to him, I could feel him slowly pulling away. Ignoring this, I realized my other hand was finding his own.  The moment they touched, I gave him a reassuring smile. Reassuring him that there was nothing to be scared of because I'm here. And I would never leave. He then looked up at me, eyes glistening under the faint light from his bedroom window. Then he smiled. A smile so genuine, that puts the rarest of all gems to shame. That's what I've always thought of when he smiles. That is why just seeing him smile makes me feel the most rewarded person on earth.

He leaned in closer, then the next thing I know, his warm, gentle lips were on mine, both of us pulling the other closer. Exchanging "I love you"s and holding each other as if we'll never ever let go. And we didn't. I ended up lying on his bed, my arm around his waist, his legs tangled with mine, and a couple of  warm sheets over us. I stared at him peacefully sleeping, the moonlight peeking through his window only emphasized his sharp features, making him the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my entire life. And I feel incredibly lucky for being able to end my day just staring at his beautiful face. I smiled at him before finally drifting off.

~

I  woke up, only to see Taemin still sleeping, his lips slightly parted which I find cute. I gave out a chuckle, but light enough for him not to wake up. I rubbed my eyes as I groggily sat up and streched my arms. I looked back at Taemin, and gave him a light peck on the cheek before going out of his bedroom.

Heading out to the living room to find my shoes, I was surprised to see his mother preparing some breakfast. by the kitchen. I quickly fixed my hair and walked to her. She turned to me and I insantly gave her a bow.

"Uhm, goodmorning, Mrs.Lee!" I quickly said.

"Goodmorning, Onew-ssi." She laughed chuckled.

"Erm, I'm sorry for sleeping in your son's bedroom!" Why did that suddenly come out of my mouth? How stupid am I? She then laughed, but not unkindly, of course, and turned off the stove before walking to me. She gave my shoulder a pat and smiled.

"That's okay. As long as you don't do something other than sleeping." She gave me a smirk and I could feel my cheeks heating up. She's enjoying this, isn't she? This is so embarassing. I tried to talk, but the words seemed to refuse to come out and try to choke me instead. She laughed again. This must be so entertaining to her.

"I'm just messing with you. Come, sit." She smiled at me, offering a seat beside her. She asked how Taemin was, and then suddenly, everything around me became so dark.  My gaze fell to the floor then I frowned. I know Taemin's mother could see my face because she too, frowned. 

"Aigo, what's wrong, Onew? Did you guys have a fight?" She asked, worry evident in her voice.

"No. It's just that. This thing that has been hauntin him...it suddenly came back after a long time. I thought it was gone, but he just broke down when we went to the park for a walk." I told her and then her eyes started to glisten after I said that. 

"O-Onew...he's...it's just that...he spent a lot of memories there with his past lover..." I flinched. 

His past...lover. 

"Past lover? But I never knew..."

"It's because he told me not to tell you. He wanted to live his life without any memory of him. He wanted to start a new life. A new life with someoone who can actually love him for who he is. A new life with someone who wouldn't be afraid to show everyone that he loves him. A new life with you. Not like that stupid jerk who left him for a girl." I caught a glimpse of her teardrop. Something that I never actually saw until now. She must love her son so much.

"But who..." My voice faded...and I could already feel a lump in the back of my throat. I was struggling to hold my tears back. Then I felt something warm touching my face. It was Taemin's mother's loving hands. She lifted my head gently so I was facing her. Her eyes were glistening, so full of sincerity. She then gave me a warm smile.

"I think the answer should come from Taemin...I'm sorry, dear." She then gave my head a pat before going to the stove to continue cooking. I let out a sigh as my head fell on the table.

"What am I going to do?" I sked no one in particular, then I felt something being put on the table. I looked up at Taemin's mom as she gave me a smile.

"Simple. Eat."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, this chapter was crappy. :| But whatever. I'll just edit this tomorrow, I think. Sorry guise. :(((( I think I forgot how to write less crappy than I was since my first fanfic. :( I'll fix this soon.  :((((((((