Changmin had just finished dressing himself when jaejoong came back from his musing. Scar now covered with a loose oversized shirt, and changmin’s paleness was slowly returning and he was then sniffling pitifully.

Jaejoong strode quickly towards changmin, cutting the distance. He then put his hand on changmin’s forehead trying to feel his temperature and later putting it on his. Doing so, he can feel an oncoming fever for changmin and the way his eyes were glazed a little ,were very much the proof of it.

Gripping changmin’s wrist and pulling him carefully to his bed , jaejoong slowly help his ddongsaeng reclined onto the bed and quickly pulling his blanket so that it now covers almost all of his body.

“changmin-ah, you’re having a slight fever so stay in bed okay? Hyung will just go to the kitchen and cook some porridge for you okay? You’re hungry right?” , knowing that his ddongsaeng never seem to not be, he giggled inwardly . But the offending shake from changmin shocked him.

“no hyung stay …’pout’…it’s so cold and I don’t feel like eating…”

“omo , changmin-ah you must be really sick for not wanting to eat but..but you still need to eat cause you need to take some med to fight the sickness okay?”

After tucking changmin in and making sure he was as comfortable as he can ever be in his condition , jaejoong quickly made his way to the kitchen.

The porridge was cooked in a mere half an hour. By the time jaejoong came back with the bowl of porridge , a tablet  and a glass of water, changmin was lightly dozing. Mumbles were heard as he neared the sleeping figure.

His mind raced back to the time when changmin would cook for him. Nothing extravagant just a bowl of ramen or even just some peanut butter and jelly sandwich but it was enough. Though it took him only now to see the affection b behind it , to feel the love behind every act changmin pulls.

Changmin the person that sometimes regard food as his wife, whom if he finds you as much as eyeing his food or even appreciating his food in your mind, he’ll send his best revenge acts towards you. But more than sharing , jaejoong had even made changmin put his food in second place when …

Flashback…

He was crying on his school’s rooftop. All snots and tears staining his pale face. Wails of anguish was heard throughout the area breaking the silence.

Jaejoong tried to drown his hurt of his unrequited love by the thoughts that maybe later he’ll meet another that love’s him as much as he loves changmin..’oops..wait why is it changmin? He is just a ddongsaeng right? Shouldn’t it be as much as he loved his siwon sunbae?’.

Not wanting to think too much he continued with his ‘drown in my own agony mission’ he continued wailing not noticing the new silhouette joining him.

“hyung-ah….”

“owh…sob..sob…changmin-ah wh..what are you doing here?”

“i..i just…hyung do you really like siwon hyung?”

“owh changmin-ah how did you know?”

“hurmmm…it doesn’t matter ..but hyung if you really love him…I can..i can help you get him.” Though he can feel his heart breaking changmin tried to plaster a smile as soon as he finished.

Seeing the faked smile on his ddongsaneg’s face jaejoong’s heart constricted .'Why does it hurt to see changmin like that?'

_____

His mind quickly flew back to his confession to his sunbae just now. Today he had worn his best uniform hoping to catch the eyes of his crush . Getting frustrated for his failure in imitating the hairstyle of his favourite idol , Kim Hyun Jong. He had then as soon as reaching school with changmin went in search of his sunbae , wanting to confess as soon as possible and maybe even start his very own fairytale like love story.

He rounded the corner to the gym where he usually can be seen stalking his sunbae shooting hoops , he saw his sunbae laughing with a pretty boy clinging to his biceps, making whiny noises while pouting his lips. Jaejoong’s heart stopped beating. His steps faltered and he was faced with a happy faced siwon who usually was just seen smiling politely to people ,now laughing a fullblown laughter.

He stood there unmoving as life passed him by. The happiness from before dissipating slowly as the scenes of happiness unfolds itself.

But wanting to really close his book of crush for his sunbae he decided to just get on with the confession and just let the result be left to the wind. He cleared his throat trying to catch his sunbae’s attention all the while willing his heart to a much normal pace.

“sun..sunbae-nim , erm..siwon sunbae-nim can I talk to you for awhile?”

“owh jaejoong-ah what are you doing here? Omo , of course just give me a minute okay?where would you like to talk ?” ask siwon while trying to untangle his limbs from the beauty’s grip.

“owh..okay maybe in ten minutes time at the rooftop?”

“okay see you then…”

Then ,even as siwon smiled his million dollar smile towards him, he found his heart numb. No thundering beats , no heating cheeks and ultimately no nothing.

Fifteen  minutes later at the school’s rooftop finds him very much prepared for the worse. He had just finished confessing his love to his sunbae.  But nothing prepared him for the answer that left siwon’s lips..

“jaejoong-ah thank you for your feelings for me . I’m totally grateful but jaejoong-ah you know, you don’t really love me right ?”

“what ?? what do you mean sun..sunbae ? is that your way of declining me cause you don’t want me to hate your boyfriend? the one from just now?”

“no jaejoong-ah even if i’m not taken when you confessed , I’ll still give the same answer . Cause people always seem too blind to notice what they have until it’s too late to keep it , too far to hold it , and too broken to cherish. But I don’t want that to happen to you jaejoong-ah”

“….”

“jaejoong-ah open your heart. Don’t look at things through your eyes, but use your heart because love itself starts from your heart . And your heart jaejoong-ah loves another but it’s not me…it’s love but it’s not me" right after finishing his statement siwon left the astound jaejoong .

_____

Even the hurt from siwon’s rejection paled to the hurt he was feeling as pain flickered through changmin’s face. Not wanting changmin to feel sad anymore he quickly hug him.

“changmin-ah ,why??? I’m okay now , let’s just go back okay? I’ll cook for you okay? What do you want?”

As soon as they reached jaejoong’s house changmin pulled jaejoong to the couch and told him to just sit and that he would prepare the best comfort food ever for his hyung.  Though all the while his heart was also bleeding of his own unrequited love.

For the first time in his life food really became second to him. The food that he made for jaejoong did nothing more than reminded him of his helpless love for his hyung and thus his hunger died slowly just as his heart broke.

Even when jaejoong tried getting him to share the big bowl of ice cream with him, changmin just shook his head . Declining it with a painful smile b with resignation.

They spent the whole evening watching the re-run of ‘A Walk To Remember’ and when the girl died ,they both cried. Changmin cried for his helpless love towards his hyung while , jaejoong of his rejection, but more of siwon’s last words that kept ringing in his ears ,’ “jaejoong-ah open your heart. Don’t look at things through your eyes but use your heart, because love itself starts from your heart . and your heart jaejoong-ah loves another but it’s not me...it's love but it's not me”

As the story ended changmin was faced with his hyung’s tear strickened face , all pale and tired of his previous turmoil. Jaejoong has already dozed off too tired of his feelings and confusion. Changmin slowly leaned into jaejoong. Diminishing the space between them, he kissed jaejoong’s lips lightly , whispering softly “because I love you hyung-ah…I love you but you love another”…

Not noticing the flutter of eyelashes , the hitch of breath and the increase in the intensity of his hyung’s thumps of heart ,he slowly moved jaejoong’s head to the couch , reclining his upper body slowly and left.

Jaejoong was left to ponder, on why his heart hurt to hear changmin say the words to him in a such agonizing way. He was left to wonder ,why his heart wanted so badly to shout to changmin “I love you too” but his confusion knots his tongue, so that the words won’t form , won’t verbalize but still resonates in his now messed up mind.

End of flashback…

Now as he was facing changmin’s tired sleeping face he found his heart chanting the same four words over and over again. Wanting to be let out , wanting to be acknowledge.

Feeling the need so great he quickly shook changmin to consciousness.

A groan and twin sleep mused orbs greeted him.

Suddenly embarrassed and uncertain of himself he let the silence soaked them.

Changmin who was forced out of his very much needed healing sleep questioned his hyung’s sanity groggily…“hyunnnng?? What?why?”

“changmin-ah….i love you too..”

The confession left changmin shocked and thinking he was now delirious already…’how bad is my fever anyway? To even imagine of these things’

Seeing his ddongsaeng’s unimpressed face he quickly repeated himself.

“I have the answer to your reason’s changmin-ah!!!! And it’s I love you too. Sorry it took me awhile to say it, but now I’ll say it cause I mean it. I love you too.”

Finally letting the words sinked into him, changmin smiled his mismatched eyes.

“It took you awhile hyung , but you should be glad that I’m a patient person . I was going to give you another few years before confessing again but I guess you beat me to that.”

Hugging changmin’s body jaejoong whispered” you don’t have to wait anymore changmin-ah. You never had to wait cause my heart had always been yours and always will be .”

Smiling sweetly both of them let the happiness soaked through their pores, illuminating them in a halo of happiness.

Happy now that they’re together, they were never apart just never together and happy that now there’s another heart  beating with the same rhythm same beat and same reasons.

“jjah now changmin-ah quickly eat your porridge and medicine then we can sleep okay?”

“omo , hyung aren’t you going too fast?”

“huh…?”

Changmin just snickered as the answer to his hyung’s obliviousness.

“wh..what?!!! changmin-ah I don’t mean it like that!!!!”

Laughter rings throughout the house as two hearts bond , bounded by love , trust and dependenment.

                                                         fin

“someone once told me that love isn’t about being the first isn’t about having the most…but it’s about perseverance. So hyung for you I’ll wait …” ...changmin

“changmin-ah…

falling in love is like falling back into place...

it's like coming back to your hometown after you've traveled the world...

it's comforting enough to lose yourself in the familiarity...

but strange enough to always keep you on the edge….

Changmin-ah you’re my very own hometown all warm familiar and strange “... jaejoong