It seemed like the plane would never get there fast enough. The flight was long; that was a given, but what no one knew was that I was on a mission. This mission was so critical and this was the only chance that I was going to get to make things right. I was thinking more and more about what Dimitri said and I was glad to have talked to him about what was going on. There was no way that Chansung was going to marry this girl. I needed to tell him that he was supposed to be mine and that our futures would have been so different if I had told him this much earlier.

Finally, the plane had landed. I had debated before if I should have let him know I was coming or not, but at this rate I didn’t care. The urgency of the matter was just too much. If I told him I was coming, then I would need to explain the reason, and that is not the way that I want to go about doing this. I took my bag with me and caught a cab to his house. My heart raced more and more with every minute that went by. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack by the time I actually got to his house. He had an apartment at first, but then brought a house for him and the girl. It was really nice and had a small lawn in the front. It looked really cozy. Really, this should be the house that he and I should be living in together; but all of that will soon change.

I rang the doorbell and patiently waited for an answer. Chansung came to the door and his face lit up when he saw me.

C: (excited) OMG Junho! You came all the way here! (Hugs me tight) I missed you so much. Come on in, I want to show you around.

J: (catching breath) I am glad you had been expecting me to some degree. The house is quite lovely even on the inside too. Chan…I’m not going to be here long, but I came all this way because I needed to talk to you about something really important. I couldn’t tell you over the phone; I needed to see you to tell you this.

He saw that my tone had a sense of tenderness yet seriousness in it. He had no idea what I could be referring to, but he took me into the living room and we sat down. He brought me my favorite kind of cake and some juice. There was no sign of the girl anywhere. That was good, for she didn’t need to interrupt my visit and what I had to say to Chansung. He looked at me with those soft brown eyes and wondered what it was that I had to tell him.

J: (Takes in a deep breath) Channie…you know how much I care for you right?

C: Yes.

J: And you know that I will do anything for you right?

C: Yes…where are you going with this?

J: I haven’t told you something in the past four years and I now know that if I don’t tell you now, things are going to go downhill for me more than they already have and I may just lose you forever.

C: What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere and you will always have me…you’re starting to worry me. What is it you have to tell?

It was now or never.

J: I’m here to tell you that…I have been in love with you for the past four years. What I mean is that I wanted to be your man but I didn’t have the courage to tell you how I felt.

I wanted our friendship more than anything first and foremost. I didn’t know if you felt the same for me so I kept it to myself; thinking that if I don’t mention it, those feelings would go away but they didn’t. If not anything they grew stronger. I was so prepared to do anything for you and you know that if I had to move anything between heaven and hell I would do it.

But when those years came to end and you were moving here, reality struck me that I was going to lose you. I should have told you then, but I didn’t want to be the reason why you didn’t get to fulfill your dreams. Since you were gone, I have been having a hard time getting over you and my heart just couldn’t take another day. When you told me that you were with a girl and that she may be the one, I shattered to pieces.

I know I can’t give you marriage or the family that you want; but what I CAN give you is unconditional love. I can’t live my life without you. I’m sorry for not having told you this before, but what was I to do? If I knew that all of this was going to happen if I kept it a secret, I would have told you, moved here with you, and we might be together right now. I came here to tell you that I need you and I want nothing more than to be with you. You mean everything to me…I just hope that you can forgive me and tell me that you feel the same or at least have thought about it.

He kept silent for a long time after that. Tears had fallen down his face and I could tell that this was a lot to take in. Four years was a long time to keep this to myself and he had a right to know. If he were to say anything at all, I just wanted to hear him say that he loved me too.

C: (broken thoughts) Junho…why did you keep that from me all this time? You could have said something…why?

J: I didn’t think you would love me back and I didn’t want to lose our friendship.

C: (upset) You can’t just come here and tell me this and expect that everything will be fixed. I loved you too…and I would have stayed there with you and we would be together. I never said anything because I didn’t think you would feel the same and that what we had was just a strong brotherhood. But I moved on. I chose a different path and now I can’t turn back time and try to make things different. Junho, I can’t go back and make things different and neither can you. What’s done is done.

His words stung more than alcohol poured on an open wound. Was he for real? I didn’t expect him not to be upset at me, but this was something completely different.

J: Chan, I know I messed up, but we can be together. You just have to give me a chance.

C: Junho, you kept me waiting for four years and now you expect me to change my life all because you are guilty! I can’t do that to myself or to Megan. She loves me and has been everything that I needed. And I’m going to marry her.

J: (getting upset and can’t control emotions) You damn there just met her! How can you sit here and say she is the one? I have been there with you four years and she a few months not even a year. Chansung, you need to be realistic.

C: (chuckles) Me realistic? You should have been realistic and told me the damn truth instead of hiding . You always assumed how I would react to things and you haven’t even told me yet. Give me the chance to respond. Junho, I can’t up and change things.

J: You can! You have time, and I won’t leave until I have your answer. You don’t need her; I can be everything that you need. I’m sorry for what I did…but I am here now trying to make things right. I know this is a lot, but please just think about things before you go and make any irrational decisions.

C: I will think about it, but let me call he shots this time. (changes subject) Where are you staying?

J: I don’t know…I haven’t decided yet.

C: Stay here with me. Megan won’t mind. She knows who you are.

J: Thank you, I really appreciate this.

C: You would have done it for me. There is a room upstairs on the left that’s empty. You can’t miss it.

I nodded. I went up the steps and found the room. There were pictures of them everywhere. He was happy. If he did decide to be with me, everything will change. Not just for him but for me too. it would be better for me to move here and now I am able to. Things are going to get shaken up in this house and I have to prepare myself for the worst of it.