Missing Link

- Leeteuk & Taeyeon -

 

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Standing at the aisle of the church, made his legs tremble, not because he's getting married to the girl he loves but that special person is finally getting married to another man, not to him. He once wished to walk in this aisle with her arms around his, to legally lock her inside his heart but he's like everybody else, a coward, a fool.

Oh how he missed her angelic smile, the way she laughs in her infamous ajhumma style, their furtive eye contact with her pearl-like orbs, how she easily makes him smile with just her softest kiss and small cuddles, everything that made her as Kim Taeyeon, he missed it all.

Stopping at the spot next to the groom, he pretended to smile, showing how the fake excitement reflected in his eyes. Why did he even agree to attend this wedding? And the worst part is to be the best man? And to witness her to be knotted with another guy, right in front of his eyes.

"Leeteuk, this will not happen without you." The groom turned his face towards the guy he thought that supports their wedding like the way he shows it.

He's out of words, staring only at how happy he is, that position should be his, he should be the one standing there not him but still like how he practiced, he beamed his most awkward smile. That's what a guy like him can only do, to pretend as if he doesn't have a heart to feel pain.

Finally, his agony somewhat faded away as the door swung open revealing a woman, most likely to be an angel without wings wearing a long white wedding gown. The smile in her face, it's been ages since he last saw it, she's happy, he knows it, he can see it but he's not happy to know it, to see that she's happy with someone else.

Leeteuk never let her out of his sight, as if he's the groom. Her white complexion blended beautifully with her dress making her the most beautiful bride he ever saw. Staring at how beautiful she is, he can feel his tears slowly swelling up at the side of his eyes.

Pain. Regrets. Feelings.

He wanted to bring back the time, to be the man who makes her smile, the man who can protect her, the man who will fight for her no matter what they need to face. 'Please look at me and tell me you’re happy.' He thought painfully, wishing that their eyes will not meet, because he's afraid, afraid to know that she's already happy without him. But then as if Taeyeon heard his plead, he met her pearl-like orbs, slowly melting down his heart.

An invisible link connected their hearts once again, though it's only for a second, he can feel a tiny spark between their gazes. His eyes went wide, seeing her unexpected response, a faint smile. A smile that he knew that bears pain, regrets and feelings, just like him. Then in just a second, his lethargic memories about her gradually flow back in his mind, like puzzle pieces that forms back on their own.

The day he felt that Taeyeon is his whole world. His only life.

 

"Jungsoo..."Jungsoo. She can only call him by his real name. The unique yet cute way she used to call him, always tingled his heart, sending a warm feeling.

"I love you too..."The little girl responded shyly with pinkish blush on her pale cheeks. Standing under the snow and cold breeze, the woman can't help but to shiver, waiting for a certain surprised lad in front of her to even make a single movement.

"Jungsoo?"

No response from him.

"Leeteuk?"

Thinking that Leeteuk doesn't like to hear him calling his real name, she attempted to call him Leeteuk. Taeyeon decided to come closer to him, checking if he's still alright, placing her cold hands on his warm cheeks. With the sudden contact of their skin, he slowly came back to his senses, staring at how close their faces are. He gulped momentarily, still processing her response earlier. She just said “I love you too” and this guy doesn’t know what to do.

"Are you alright?"Without responding to her, he enveloped his lips onto her soft lips, sharing the warmness he could give to her, his girlfriend, finally. That moment seems like forever, as he thought that Taeyeon is the girl that will complete the emptiness inside his heart.

 

The wedding started with him smiling just by thinking how he and Taeyeon became a couple. He didn't notice the people around him, everyone, only Taeyeon and him.

But then another puzzle piece flew back.

 

"Jungsoo, let's go to the beach."His little girlfriend cuddled with him on their favorite couch in Leeteuk's apartment. He looked at her without any interest, he felt that the spark inside his heart was gone, totally gone.

It's been days since he felt that Taeyeon is no longer part of his dreams, his heart. The feelings he protectively kept inside his heart, he can't seem to find it.

"I'm tired."That simple response hurt her a lot, it's like invisible daggers that intentionally pierces her heart. She can feel it, the coldness he shows towards her, she's not dumb like him and now she knows that if this continues, she might not bear it, bear the immense pain he is giving her.

 

Then another painful memory blocks all the happy ones, making him regret all of his decisions, the stupidity he did.

 

"It's not working out, Taeyeon."A cruel person like him should never be forgiven. How can he end everything on his own, not even considering her feelings.

"Please, don't...say it. I will change. I will..."The tears in her eyes blur her sight, slowly eating out his face. She pleaded, staring at him in disbelief, trying to get back their lost connection, the missing link.

"Taeyeon, please don't make it hard for the both of us."With his stone-like heart, he never felt her agony, the pain she claims from his painful words. This time, she took his hand, placing it on her heart, letting him feel that she loves him more than anything else, always. But he didn't feel the same way, he did at first but all of those feelings passed by just like a flowing river.

"Please, jungsoo..."But this time, hearing her say the name Jungsoo sends unexpected pain into his heart but just like what he always do, he ignored it, releasing her grip from her hand.

He walked away, never said his sorry, never regretted his decision, moved on with his life as if a girl named Kim Taeyeon never became part of his life, and never became his life.

 

He felt like crying, his mind and heart broke down, thinking how he cruelly cut their relationship, without thinking that once Kim Taeyeon made his life happy. Still absorbed with his trackbacking, his eyes landed on the groom, remembering the special saying he used to say to him.

 

"Are you sure that you're okay with me asking Taeyeon out?" Yesung asked him, watching Taeyeon play with the little kids inside the school. Taeyeon is a teacher for elementary students, for over 5 years already. She just loves kids, very fond of them. Just like Taeyeon, Leeteuk is also a teacher but the only difference is that he teaches high school students and he doesn't like kids, his patience easily loses when kids try to bother him.

"It's okay, it’s been a year already."Leeteuk assured his co-teacher, eyeing the lady but as he said it, there's a piece of hesitation in his mind. Having the same smile he used to adore and love, he knew that she never changed after all what happened. After all the heartaches she underwent because of his selfish decision, she can still smile, as if their relationship never existed. She never got cold with him, greeting him a good morning every day, saying her goodbye every time the school ends. Just like a normal day, a day without any painful past.

He wanted to understand her, to know the reason why she looked unaffected. Is this just a show, to let him see that she's happy without him? And that made his feelings waver, asking his self if he still loves this girl.

"Teuk-ah, do you know the famous saying about broken relationships?"Changing the topic all of a sudden, the lad looked back at his co-teacher, reading his thoughts.

"What about that?"He acted as if he doesn't care.

"That you will only realize how important a person is if that person is already gone."

Hearing him say those enlightening words, he felt his heart skip a beat out of a sudden. Every piece of word in that saying, he felt it, the true meaning but just what like he used to do, he still denies it. Denies his true feelings.

"So?"Pretending to be not affected, he replied shortly, showing no interest.

"Dude, I think you have some major problem in your heart."Yesung can't understand him for showing no interest towards that topic. He started to think if Leeteuk really loved Taeyeon. How can he say all those things as if he didn't fell in love with her head over heels?

And then days, weeks, months passed, no news regarding Taeyeon. Of course he sometimes bumped into her in school but it stays only up to that. But then a day that he never thought to come, finally came.

"Excuse me."A familiar voice rings his ears, looking up to who it was.

"I have some announcements to make."The guy acted as if he was the principal. "Yah! Yesung! That must not be one of your weird facts." One of the teachers in the faculty shouted back at him, making everybody burst into their own laughter.

"Forget all those awesome facts because today, this fact will be the most interesting one."He anticipated everyone, including Leeteuk.

"From this day onward, Ms. Kim Taeyeon, the elementary adviser of Grade 5 Section A, is finally my girlfriend."Every jaw dropped, hearing the sudden news. No one cheered, clapped or even congratulated them because everyone knew the past relationship between Leeteuk and Taeyeon, how they were so in love with each other.

Leeteuk felt all the stirring eyes on him, while thinking of a counter plan to avoid this. "Ms. Kim Taeyeon-ssi and I are just friends." He waved his hand, with his mastered pretend smile, while avoiding all their gazes but the only eyes that he can't avoid the girl who possessed a pair of pearl-like eyes. Just at that moment, he felt a sting in his heart, an excruciating one.

She's not smiling, no expression or feelings conveyed in her doll like face. 'Friends' that word echoed on his mind, to every part of his brain, but to his heart, different words echoed, 'She's the most important person that cannot be defined as a friend.' Because right at that moment, he started to realize how important she is to him, just like what Yesung said, ‘You will only realize how important a person is if that person is already gone."

 

He felt a liquid sliding down his cheek, while watching the two saying their wedding vows. It already came to this point that he will finally witness the most dreadful part of the ceremony. They said that this part is the sweetest one, hearing the couples say their sincere 'I do's' but to him, it's like a nightmare because after this, Taeyeon will be married woman.

"I do." Wiping his tears, he finally heard his I do, the groom's I do. He doesn't want to listen to her saying that words, he will not bear it, it will just make his life more miserable. The only thing he can do to stop this is to prevent the wedding to proceed.

Standing abruptly from his chair, he clenched his fist, holding up all his overflowing emotions. Everybody's eyes landed on him, including the bride and groom. And once again, he met her eyes because no matter what he does, he can’t avoid it. His decisions will be only made by him, if he wants to stop this, he will but his final decision turns out to be the opposite. A guy like him can't bear to break another relationship, especially if it involves the girl he always love.

"Congratulations." Visible in his words, the regrets and hesitation in withdrawing that word. He never wanted to congratulate them, but he did it anyway.

The groom let out a chuckle, hearing his sudden outburst for just saying that word. Can't he wait for the wedding to end? But without him knowing Leeteuk's real self, he will not understand that simple word. Because for him that word means something, a simple word with an important meaning, deep one.

'I'm letting you go.'

This time, he didn't show his fake smiles anymore but he just walked away, walking down the aisle with a light heart. This is the feeling of finally letting go of the person you treasure in your heart, it will fell pain at first but slowly that pain sips away and turns into happiness, especially knowing that person is already happy even if that happiness is not caused by you.

The blinding strays of light blocked his teary eyes, as he finally came out of that agonizing place. He felt so free, so light but he just used those reasons to convince his self that he's happy but the truth, he's far from being happy.

Walking down at the side pavements with his hands buried down his pockets, he felt his tears, uncontrollably flowing down his pale cheeks. At last, the true Leeteuk came out, his true weak self. He didn't hesitate to let all out all the pain buried inside his heart as his walk started to become a run. Half-running under the bright sun, he shouted, yelled.

"Ahhhh!!!"

Ignoring all the people around him, he shouted as if this world is only his. He had enough, he already regretted every wrong decision he made but what will it do? Will it bring back Taeyeon?

"Taeyeon-ah?!?!? Why?!!!!" He didn't stop, saying her name, trying to pour out his feelings. As if the heavens grieved with his heartaches, the rain pours down, dropping raindrops on him, adding some effects on his misery. But he ignored it.

"Please call me Jungsoo again!!! Just this time!!!" The way Taeyeon calls him Jungsoo made him fell in love with her in an instant. Her voice was like a music in his ears, but after what happened between them, he started to forget her voice, the way she used to call him with that name, the voice that made his heart feel the warmest feeling ever in his life.

But because of the slippery ground, he tripped down, causing his body to land on the cold and wet ground. No luck granted to this lad, firstly, Taeyeon is now marrying his friend, and maybe the wedding already ended, and now, he is lying on the ground pitifully, crying as if he's not a man. Is this what they call punishment or whatever? If this is it, he got enough.

"Taeyeon-ah!!!" He didn't stop saying her name. "I'm so sorry." This time he lowered down his voice. "I miss you...so much."

He lifted his heavy body, trying to sit. This fall is like his life, the way he fell, as if he can never get up, never can get her back. His tears didn’t stop to block his sight, he stood up properly, balancing his trembling legs.

"Jungsoo..."

He froze in his position, surprised by the voice coming from behind. Only one person calls him Jungsoo. Turning around, he didn’t expect to see that person in his mind, standing right in front of him, holding up her umbrella and her wedding gown while panting heavily. 'Am I dreaming?' He started to contemplate inside his baffled mind.

"Taeyeon-ah..."

He tried calling out her name, making sure that everything is true and happening right now.

“Jungsoo…” Not his dreams, not his imagination, it is the real Kim Taeyeon. She moved towards him, covering her with her white umbrella. Still panting because of her running while wearing her long wedding gown, she smiled faintly, watching the lad. She never got tired looking at him. Now they are sharing the same umbrella.

“Why do you have to run that fast?” She broke the silence, saying those words between her breaths.

“Is it really you?” He still can’t believe it, Taeyeon just became a runaway bride because of him. He must be the luckiest and happiest guy on earth.

Taeyeon nodded her head, stopping her tears from falling. But then the lad took the umbrella from her, placing it down. “What are you doing?” She protested, covering her and his head using her small hands. He placed down her hand, grasping it tightly as he pulled the bride into his arms, enveloping him with his hug.

"Taeyeon-ah, I'm so sorry." He let out between his sobs. "I love you, Taeyeon-ah. I love you, Kim Taeyeon, I love you, ajhumma, I love y--" He stopped as Taeyeon broke their hug with her index finger sealing his lips. She shook her head with a faint smile on her face. But then, she slowly withdraws her hand, placing down on his shoulders while minimizing the space between their lips. And at last, it landed on the rightful place. She sealed his lips with hers. It was a light and short kiss but all of her feelings for him were poured down into it.

"I love you too, Jungsoo. I always do."

-END-

A/N: So as promised, I posted it today. Lol. I hope that you will all like it. Please comment. Thank you! :D For all Taeteuk fans out there. :D