“How could you tell me to forget it all? Mom, I... I was the one who dug it up and posted it to different forums. I was the one who destroyed his life!  It was me.” That was always been my cover but the truth is I hate him for ruining my life.

Since I left Korea and went to Edmonds, Seattle to start a “ new life”, my Mom and I always argue about this. Nothing is left but pain. I would never forgive him. I would never forget what he had done to me.

“It’s not your fault that people around him are so narrow-minded and would worsen the situation.” That’s what my Mom kept on telling me. I know it wasn’t my fault , it’s all his and his stupid fans.

But that was before my whole conscience ate me. I always blamed him and others when I was the one who made mistakes. I thought by thinking that way at least it wouldn’t be as painful but I was wrong, blaming him would only make me feel worse.

I couldn’t take seeing my Mom, who is always there to support me, to get hurt any further so I decided to do what she wants me to do. I started working at a coffee shop and tried making new friends .I tried but I at it. Since I originally came from an English speaking country before moving to Korea to live with my Korean dad and learn my roots culture, it’s not that hard to cope up with Seattle.

“Hey, you're Korean right?” my co-server Claire asked me. By the tone of her voice it wasn't racism but more fascination.

I asked but she didn’t answer instead she threw an almost question.

“So, you know 2PM. Park Jaebum, their leader”

Seems like a high voltage of electricity run through my body upon hearing his name.

“Yah.” My voice was trembling. I was to excuse myself when I heard her say “He’s here. He flew black here after that stupid myspace comment controversy. I mean, it's unfair to him? If I would see the person who dug up those comments, I would stab her to death. She deserves it, right?”

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. Park Jaebum’s here? How could that happen? On all places, why here? How could fate be so messed up?

“Hey, are you fine? You look pale.” I was surprised when she touched my shoulders. I accidentally pushed her away. She was shocked.

“Not a fan." I blurted.

 I feel instantly guilty. "My migraine is attacking again.....Can you please tell the manager I need to go. I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to do that. I’m so sorry.” Tears fell down my cheeks. All I could do is run away. All I know is running away.

I ran to the door. My tears made my sight vague. I accidentally bumped on to someone and fell on the floor.
“I’m sorry.” I apologized. I heard Claire gasped. I looked up to the person I bumped.

My eyes widen.