*~Past~*

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The memory of the night of my parents’ murder had never left my mind. I was too young then to understand the concept of ‘death’, let alone murder. The neighbours had heard the loud bangs and screams that were coming from our house and had thus notified the police. I vaguely recalled sitting by my parents, still thinking that they were sleeping. Unlike my nightmare, I did not understand that the ‘red ink’ that I saw was blood. When the police finally arrived, they found the front door unlocked. I remained where I was, silently watching as the police officers came in and the lights.

I spent the remainder of the night at the police station, where the police officers questioned me regarding the break-in murder. My mother had always told me that police officers were good people, thus I was not afraid of the officers. I told them that there was a man in the house, about how I hid under the bed and escaped him, and about the loud bangs. I also told them that he left in a black car. After questioning me, they left me in a room with a female officer to keep me company.

I met Heechul’s mum the next day. I did not know why but I had very vivid memories of the next few days that followed my parents death. Perhaps the massive changes in my life were the reason why I could recall everything that happened in that week or so to the smallest details. I did not have any relatives on both sides, as my parents were the only child in their nuclear family. My grandparents were also long gone. The police contacted all of the numbers found on their phones, and apparently, only one person agreed to come down to the police station immediately. That person was Heechul’s mum. She was a mutual friend of both my parents, and was devastated when she received the news of their sudden deaths.  As I was sitting in the waiting room, I overheard the conversation between two of the officers standing outside, those words are still etched in my mind up until today.

“The world is getting more and more aloof, I guess. Poor Mr and Mrs An,” one of them started.

“I agree with you. All of the people we called said they did not know the couple well once we told them that they had been murdered. I wonder how many of these people actually were close friends with them,” the other one replied, sipping a cup of coffee.

“Well, at least this Mrs Kim that we managed to get last night seems decent. She was the only one that burst out into tears when she heard about their deaths,”

“Yes, she seemed like a kind person, at least over the phone. When she heard that they had left behind a child, she immediately asked what was going to happen to the kiddo.”

“Really? I thought she would be asking about the house they left behind. Haha, that house will be held in trust for the kid. If she wants to use the kid to get the house, it will be a long wait. Might as well forget about it,” the first officer jeered.

“Doesn’t seem to be the case,” the other countered, “She seemed genuinely concerned about the kid. Apparently she had lost contact with Mr and Mrs An when they moved here. She did not even know they had a kid, and had never seen the little girl before. She said she would be coming down immediately, so I guess she will be reaching anytime soon.”

“Speaking of that little girl, she freaks me out a little bit. Don’t you feel she is a little too calm and quiet? Hyuksu from Park's Team said that they found her sitting quietly beside her parents’ bodies. Just sitting there, covered in their blood!”

“Oh come on…” the second officer shook his head in disagreement, “She’s only around 5. Does she even understand what ‘dead’ means? She probably thought her parents were still sleeping. Poor little thing, that kiddo. Do you suppose she will be taken in by the State?”

“I guess that Mrs Kim will be given the option to take her in first, since she’s the next of kin. If she refuses, then that kid will go into the State welfare house. I hope she doesn’t fall to that stage, the welfare house is a terrible place…”

They then stopped talking and walked away. I was all alone in the waiting room, and only had a cup of hot milk, together with a plate containing two pieces of chocolate cookies, to entertain me. I kept myself occupied by watching a wisp of smoke rose from the cup and formed interesting patterns. Then feeling a little hungry, I picked up a piece of the cookie and started munching on it.

The door opened just as I was about to start on the second piece of cookie. I turned around on the spiral chair and watched as a middle-aged woman came into the room, followed by the female officer that had been keeping me company. The woman was dressed in a grey overcoat, and was holding a little boy with one hand. The little boy was wearing a woolen hat, purple shirt with denim pants and was holding a small brown teddy bear in his arms. He was being pulled into the room by the woman, who stepped into the room with a sense of urgency. She was looking alternatively between the female officer and me while the little boy was looking around the room.

I simply sat there and stared at the both of them. The female officer leaned in and whispered something to the woman, who nodded and left the room with her after instructing the little boy to wait for her in the room. After the woman left the room, I fixed my eye on the little boy, who up till now still hadn’t noticed me.

As his eyes fell onto me, he froze. We just stared at each other for about a few minutes, and then he shuffled his feet uneasily and averted his gaze. I turned my attention back to my milk and took a long sip. By the time I looked back at him, he was already making his way towards me. Before long, he was standing before me, looking up at me as I sat on the chair. “Hello,” he said shyly, squeezing his teddy bear for comfort.

I slid down from the chair and stood in front of him. I remembered that he was a little taller than I was, and smelt like peach. I liked peach, so naturally, in my child’s mind; he registered as a likable person. “Hi,” I replied, giving him a small smile, “You smell like peaches,”

He smiled again, broader this time round, “I ate a peach just now on the way here, I love peaches.”

“Really? I like peaches too!” I gushed, clapping in excitement. He laughed, and hesitated a little before saying, “I… My name is Ryeowook. Kim Ryeowook.” He squeezed his teddy bear again nervously, eyeing me.

I smiled and extended out a hand out to him, “I’m Yonni, An Yonni. I’m 6-years-old.” He took my hand shyly, and smiled, “I’m six too!”

“Really?” I asked unbelievingly.

“Yes, my birthday is on the 21^st of June!”

“Haha! You’re older than me then. My birthday is on the 13^th of November, so you are older than me!”

He smiled, and patted my head in a big-brotherly manner. I smiled back at him, and invited him to sit down with me at the table. We had a race to see who could climb onto the chair the fastest. Being kids, everything seemed like play to you. I gave him my second piece of cookie, and we ended up playing Rock-Scissors-Paper.

We were just going through the 100^th round when the woman stepped back into the room, together with the female officer. She walked over to the table and the head of Ryeowook lovingly. She then looked at me, and said in a gentle tone, “Hello there, what’s your name?”

I did not reply her, but just looked from her to Ryeowook nervously. Who was this woman? She smiled and walked in front of me, lowering herself to my eye-level. “I’m Yuri, Kang Yuri. What’s your name?” she repeated her question again, in a even more gentle tone this time round. I glanced past her shoulders at Ryeowook nervously again, he threw me a assuring smile and mouthed the word “Mummy” and pointed to her. Oh, she was his mum.

“You… You are Ryeowook’s mummy?” I asked her, fidgeting in my seat. She turned back to look at Ryeowook and looked back to me with the same big smile. “Yes, I’m his mummy. Are you two friends now?” she asked, looking alternately between me and Ryeowook. We both nodded. “He smells like peaches, I like him! He’s nice,” I answered innocently, looking straight at her without fidgeting this time.

“Really? You like peaches? I like peaches too! They are furry and sweet! Since we both like peaches, can you tell me your name?”

“An Yonni,” I answered, smiling at her. She stood up and lifted me up in her arms. I smiled, she smelt like flowers. “Yonni ah, I’m your mummy’s and daddy’s friend. Nice to meet you!” she informed me as she held me in her arms.

The female officer smiled in my direction, and said to Ryeowook’s mum, “So, you’ll take Yonni?”

“Take me where?” I asked, looking at the officer.

“To my house, Ryeowook has a brother, so you will have lots of people to play with you!” She said, smiling at me again. I shook my head, “I cannot go to your house! What about my mummy and daddy?”

When she heard this, tears began to well up in her eyes. She set me down to the ground gently, and squatted down to look at me. As the first drops of her tears fell, she was just my face with one hand, and covering with the other. I reached out and wiped her tears, “Auntie Yuri, please don’t cry, I promise I will visit you often with my mummy and daddy! Don’t be sad… Yonni will call you often!” Ryeowook jumped off his chair and ran over as well. “Mummy, mummy… don’t be sad! If Yonni don’t come and visit us, we can go find her! I will go with you!”

Auntie Yuri looked up at us amidst her tears. Then she pulled us both into her embrace, one on each side. We just stayed there quietly, feeling her body shaking with sobs. I looked over to the female officer, she was silently drying her eyes. Why was everybody crying?

After a long while, she finally calmed down. Now being able to speak, she let go of both Ryeowook and I. She held my hands and led me over to one of the chairs, lifting me up to sit on it. She then took a deep breath and looked at me, “Yonni ah, your dad and mum… They, they want you to stay with me,”

“Why?”

“Because they have to go somewhere,”

“Where?”

“A very faraway place,”

“Why didn’t they bring me?”

“Little children are not supposed to go there…”

“Why not? But I saw them yesterday! They were still sleeping at home! They didn’t tell me anything…” I started crying.

“Yonni ah, be a good girl… Ryeowook will be there in Auntie’s house, Auntie will buy you toys and cook nice food for you to eat okay? Yonni is a good girl right?” Auntie Yuri coaxed me, while petting my head. I ceased crying. Mummy always told me that good children listen to what adults ask them to do. I must be a good girl so Mummy will not be angry.

“When are they coming back?” I asked Auntie Yuri, sniffling.

She did not answer me immediately. Instead, she bit her lips and thought carefully for a while. “They didn’t say, they only said that Yonni is a good girl, and that Auntie Yuri will be able to take care of such a good little angel,” she answered after some moments.

“One month? Two months? One year? What if they don’t come back for me?” I asked, tears welling up again. I felt abandoned by my parents, unwanted and frightened. Auntie Yuri gave me tight hug and said, “Then Auntie Yuri will wait together with you, Auntie Yuri will always be with you…” I smiled through my tears, I felt love coming from her, I felt like I was being wanted again. “Okay, I will go to your house and wait for them. But if they don’t come back, please don’t throw me away…” I said, giving her a tight hug.

“I promise. I will never, ever throw you away,” she replied, letting go of me. “Auntie Yuri will always be here for Yonni, okay?”

I smiled and got off the chair, holding her hands tightly. Ryeowook then ran over and held out his teddy bear to me. “Yonni, don’t cry. I’ll give you my teddy, he always makes me happy. He will make you happy too,” he said, petting my head in a big-brotherly manner again. I nodded and took the bear from him…

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Snapping back to the present time, I turned back to my bed and looked at the old teddy bear sitting on my bedside table. That was the teddy bear that Ryeowook had given me then. It had never left my side ever since that day, and was my source of comfort. It had heard my secrets and feelings that I didn’t share with anyone. At least those secrets and feelings that I couldn’t share with Heechul, Ryeowook, any of my other friends, or with Auntie Yuri.

I walked over to my bed and sat down, picking up the old bear on my way. Looking at it, I couldn't help smiling. Ryeowook had been such an angel ever since the first time we met. Over the years, we rarely fought, and were always on extremely good terms. We always talked about our problems and issues in life. When we disagreed with each other, we reasoned it out. He is such a gentle soul, always looking out for others. Even though we are of the same age, and only a few months apart, the relationship that we shared was exactly that of real siblings. He doted on me like a little sister; I respected him like an older brother.

As I the teddy lovingly, my eyes fell onto a long “gash” that had been sown up across the torso of the bear. This, was the ‘work’ of Heechul. Tracing the ‘gash’ gently with my fingers, my childhood in Auntie Yuri house started flashing back again…