I’m just out from office. I’m done talking with my manager. Just the two of us, talking something serious for me. I can’t change my face that really sad. My fellings are sad, confuse, guilty, embrass, and there’s no glee in my face. I’m not ready to go to my dorm and tell what i and my manager was talking about to my members. So, i decided to go to practice room.

                I open the door with slowly and turn on the light. Quite. Of course, now it’s 11.00 pm no one will come here. I play beat up music from my i-pod, without unconsciouslymy body start to move and my tears fall down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hyoyeon, it’s just you that have a long spare time. I don’t know why it can be happen. You’ve already an idol, are you still can’t get people interest of you? Just your dancing skill that you count on? All member already have a ost drama. Just you are not yet. Are you not a singer? What have you been on training for 7 years, Hyo? Your members already success! They called everywhere, everybody love them! You? Hahh,”  said my manager

“i’m sorry, oppa. i’m still feel akward in variety show, my voice is not completely perfect, and i can’t impress people. I’m sorry oppa, i’m just count on my dancing skill all this time,” i said with my head down and try to not cry.

“try to ask Yoona, how to impress people,” his voice become soft

”i’ll do it”

”this afternoon i walked to park. And i asked this question ‘who’s your fave snsd member?’ and ‘do you know hyoyeon?’ to 20 people i saw”

I became quite, wait for the continuationfrom him.

“6 people like you, 3 doesn’t know you, and 1 was think you were T-Ara member,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                I can’t stand for dancing anymore, i sit on the floor and crying for non-stop. I remember too when SNSD will shooting live for variety show, i call my family so they can watch me on TV. They was happy heard that. And when commercial time, my mom call me to ask that i really attend that show? Because they didn’t see me on screen for 15 minutes. Then i tell my position. My heart was really hurt  that time.

Many people doesn’t like me or place on the last for beauty rank. Yoona, Yuri, Jessica and Taeyeon was the most become people fave. My name seldom to be heard by people, if there was maybe it just about my dancing skill. Nothing more. But sometime i’m not considered as dance leader. In one of magazine said that Yuri is the dance leader of SNSD, not me. And one full page talk about it. Yuri really happy to read that article, even she save that page. Only that one page said that Yuri is the dance leader. But, if she with me she feel guilty and sorry.

TREK! The door suddenly open, my mind unable to concentrate. It’s Eunhyuk oppa. Oppa as suprised as me when he walk in. He see me that sit on the floor and in hurry swept tears from eyes and my cheek. Because feel there’s something wrong, he sit beside me and

“who do this? Who hurt your heart? Junho?”

“i cried not because of hurt” Eunhyuk oppa seem suprise to hear it, because oppa always found me crying because of namja.

“so? What’s going on?” i tell him everything to Eunhyuk oppa. Start from my conversation with my manager, variety show, magazine, and my few job.

“your members know about this all?” ask that namja because of worry.

“beside my conversation with my manager, yes”

“are they help you all this time?” this question, i never hear question like that when i share with my member about that stuff. They just be a good listener, feel sad and sometime they give a hard solution for me to do. Nope, they never help me.

“aniyo, they just listening and give solution that just they can do it. I want to be guest star on some show and do solo dance. Doing OST, play drama as main character not a cameo, being a permanent member on variety show, being MC on variety show with big star. i want it all so badly. I want people see me. I wanna be like other member. I.... i  wanna be success like the others. I.... i.... can i like them?” i cry again, Eunhyuk oppa listen and put my head to his right shoulder.

“i believe, all that you want will came by them self. Maybe not this time, but later. Later when your members doesn’t have any  job and jobs will come to you. And your members will envy to you so badly, cause your jobs is more than they had before. I’m serious, Hyo. I really serious of what i’ve talk about. Don’t worry, Hyo. As long as your job is worth for you and your family it’s good enough,” i realy happy with what oppa said to me.

“maybe i can ask Sukira’s PD to make you always come with your love scandals. Hahaha,” he said to make me smile. And i smile.

“oppa! Kamsahamnida,” i smile to him and he smile too. Without i realize, i hug him and he accept my hug.

”Gomawa oppa,because always be there for me when i have my hard time or alone oppa always help me. always. Kamsahamnida,” i whisper to him

“ne, no problem,”

Drrt. Drrt. Drrt. My phone vibrate. My phone’s vibrate loose our hug. It’s Taeyeon that calling.

”Yeoboseyo?”

”Where the heck are you now?!”

”in practice room.. aniyo, there’sHyukjae oppa.. dancing.. ne, i’ll go.. ne.. mianhae,” it feel like i wanna spend a night here, i don’t wanna talk with anybody exceptEunhyuk oppa.

”okay,let’s we go home. Taeyeon already call you”

”Ne,” i still wanna with this kind hearted namja.We say goodbye when we reach my dorm.  I’m not forget to say “kamsahamnida” to him that walk away to his dorm. I turn my head to Eunhyuk oppa, oppa see me too. He waves his hand and me neither. He turn his head and walk again.

yey! -_- it's my first fanfics, so be nice~~^^ hope you like it. comment and subscriber please. hehehe

and OH! sorry for wrong grammar and any typo, i'm not fluent english, hehehe