Waving goodbye to Haneul, I retuned home after another successful venture. They boys were promoting everywhere now and it was a little hard to keep up with them, but that's okay. This is what true love is, isn't it? You have to go to great lengths and sacrifice some things to be with the one you love. My cellphone's clock read 1:41 AM. Lately, I've been coming home at later and later times because the boys would have a fanmeeting or they would have to go to an interview recording and they'd get back to the dorm very late. Because of this, the sasaengs, myself included, would have to suffer like this too. It's not that we minded. I like to think that I feed off their energy and success. When Daehyun gets tired or feels overwhelmed, I feel tired or overwhelmed as well. This lifestyle is very demanding!

Going around back, I tried to be as quiet as possible to make sure that my parents or little sister don't wake up. I've had this routine down to a T, since I've been using this way to come home for the past week. Using our trash can as an extra boost to scale our fence, I dropped down onto the concrete floor of our backyard. Well, if you could call it a backyard. In the part of Seoul we lived in, one didn't really get much of a backyard to begin with. It was just a patio with steps leading down to about fifteen meters of half-grass, half-concrete. It wasn't much to sneeze at. It's not like anyone here actually used the backyard. Dodging my mother's flowerpots, I slid open the screen door, which was always unlocked. Mission accomplished.

"What do you think you're doing, Nam Geunji? You think you can just come home at any time of day?" My mother's voice interrogated, coming from the kitchen table. Okay, maybe my mission wasn't accomplished. As my eyes quickly adjusted to the dark, I saw the terrifying silhouette of a 160cm, stout, Korean woman in a bathrobe and hair curlers advance towards me. I swallowed, feeling a rush of fear shoot through my veins. A voice in the back of my head reminded me of why I took risks of coming home this late. It's all for the boys. You are doing this because of your undying love for the boys. My mother stopped about a meter or two away from me, but as the moonlight shone through the kitchen, her piercing glare looked malicious.

"Just because you are in your last year of high school, it does not mean that you can leave and come home at any time you please," she said sternly as her eyes bored into mine. Her gaze was menacing, but I wasn't going to back down easily. No one can get in the way of my love for the boys, not even my own mother. I stood my ground and attempted to retaliate.

"Mom, aren't you being too much? You don't even know the hardships I go through! Everything I do, I do it out of love. Tell me," I paused and took a deep breath. "Tell me you haven't been in love before. I see how happy you are with Dad. Why don't you want me to be happy like you? I only do this because...because people do crazy things when they're in love." Tears welled up in my eyes. I was psyching myself up to put up this front for my mother because I knew how to tug at her heartstrings easily. My mother was a softie at heart and in a few seconds, her expression softened. Perfect. The plan worked. However, what I told my mom was the truth. It felt good to use my actual feelings to my advantage.

"Just...just go to bed, Geunji," she finally sighed. With that, she walked back upstairs and left me standing in the kitchen. I stood there for a little bit, wallowing in my victory. Because of the boys, I can do anything. This experience just motivated me to become better at what I do. I made a promise to myself to work harder so the boys will finally realize what I do for them. Daehyun will see me for who I truly am and realize that all I do-- all we do-- is love them unconditionally. With these happy thoughts in my head, I finally headed off to bed with a warm feeling in my heart.

-

Time flew by after that day and before I knew it, it was the weekend. The boys had an interview at MTV, a magazine photoshoot and then a music show recording to top it off, so they were very busy today. I woke up at about seven in the morning just to make sure that I could get to the desired locations on time. Haneul had KakaoTalked me saying that she was already at the boys' dorm, all set and ready to go. Overachiever. Since it was starting to warm up outside, I decided to wear jean shorts today and a pretty top that I got as a birthday present. Daehyun would have to notice me in this. Grabbing my phone and wallet, I headed out before my parents woke up.

My stomach was growling a bit, so I bought a bagel on the way to the dorm. I'd walk off the calories anyways. In my half-asleep state, I maneuvered swiftly through the streets, since I've been to the boys' dorm enough for my mind to navigate there on autopilot. Haneul was already waiting there, along with a few of our other sasaeng friends. I greeted them as Haneul pulled a hat out of her backpack and handed it to me. "Here, it's Daehyun's hat. You left it at my house after our last scavenger hunt."

I accepted it gratefully and sniffed it. It smelled like a mixture of shampoo and sweat. The corners of my mouth immediately turned up into a grin. "Ahhh, it smells lovely. Thanks! Maybe if Daehyun sees me in it, he'll feel a connection of some sort." Haneul just smirked and leaned against the railing, waiting for the boys to make their first appearance of the day. Several minutes passed before we finally caught sight of them. Jongup walked out of the doorm first, headphones in his ears. His eyes flickered over to us and gave us a smile and half a wave. I liked Jongup; he was usually the nicest to all of us. He would wave, smile, nod or do something to acknowledge our existence. During their debut days, he would even try to talk to us.

Himchan was the next one to come out and once he saw us, he immediately walked over to Jongup, telling him to hurry up and get into the van already. He didn't really like to associate with us, but it was okay. He'll realize our love one day. Some people were just a little slower than others. Looking back at the building, my heart sped up when I saw Daehyun come out of the doors. Our eyes met for a brief second, and I swear, that second was all it took for me to go crazy. He quickly averted his gaze, but I'm pretty sure I felt that connection. I shouted his name because I wanted to find out if he recognized his hat, but he just sped up and got into the van before I could say anything else. Not paying attention to the rest of the boys, I looked at his silhouette in the tinted windows of their van. His outline was perfect.

The other girls' voices snapped me out of my thoughts and I realized what we were doing. We were supposed to get into taxis. Unfortunately, for me, I was the last one to the taxi and it was already filled. "What am I supposed to do here, huh?" I whined unhappily as I looked at the rest of my friends piled into the yellow cab. Haneul shrugged and simply said, "Go find another taxi. There's bound to be another around here. I'll message you their location when we get there." Rolling my eyes, I accepted my fate and watched them as the taxi followed the boys' black van. Fortunately, I didn't have to wait very long, as another taxi pulled up in front of me. Looking into the car, I smiled as I recognized this taxi driver. He was very well-known in our community and I used his taxi frequently to follow the boys.

"Hello, Mister Kim. Long time, no see," I greeted as I got inside. He smiled at me from the rearview mirror.Thank goodness he came; he knew how we sasaengs worked. His rates weren't bad and plus, he seemed to like the chase. "I was wondering when I'd be seeing you again. Where to, young miss?" he asked as I checked my phone. Haneul KakaoTalked me at that time, telling me to head to the boys' salon, as that was where they seemed to be headed. I relayed the directions to Mister Kim, who willfully drove me there.

When we got there, the boys had already gone in, but the rest of the girls were staked outside, cameras ready. I mentally facepalmed as I realized I forgot my camera at home. Now I couldn't update my website with pictures from today. Maybe I'll beg Haneul for some of her pictures. I got out of the taxi and rejoined my group. The nice thing about taxi drivers like Mister Kim was that he knew to wait for us until we needed to follow the boys elsewhere. Our cat and mouse game ensued for the rest of the day, trailing behind the boys as we followed them to MTV, a photo studio, then finally, to MBC. We had a few friends work for this place, so all we had to do was sneak into the venue with their help. Ahhh, the perks of being a sasaeng.

It was about eight in the evening when everything finished up, which was relatively early considering the past week. The other girls told me to split up with their group, since three of the boys went in a separate car for who-knows-what. Agreeing with them, I decided to head back to their dorm so I could be a sentry there. Mister Kim and I arrived there before any of the guys did. Since I was going to walk home after I was sure that the group was back inside, I was going to pay the taxi driver. It wasn't until we arrived there that my heart stopped cold. My fingers frantically patted the backseat and the floor of the car as my broke out into a sweat. How could I have been so reckless? It dawned on my that my wallet was missing.

"Young miss, is there something wrong?" Mister Kim asked. My breathing sped up as I tried to look for my wallet in vain. "One moment, please, I need to go outside and look around," I told him and exited the car. I searched the ground around the taxi for it, even though I knew that I wasn't going to find my wallet there. This was Seoul; if I did drop my wallet on the ground, I'm pretty sure that whoever picked it up wouldn't turn it in. I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating as I tried to remember where I had misplaced my wallet. The opening and closing of a car door momentarily distracted me. Mister Kim had gotten out of the taxi and walked towards me.

Forcing myself to speak up, I told him the truth. "I...I don't know where my wallet is. I'm sorry, but...I don't know how to pay you." His expression didn't change. In fact, he had a smirk on his face. Daring to look at him, I saw that his eyes were moving up and down my legs and sizing me up. I immediately regretted wearing jean shorts today. When he spoke, I failed to notice what was going on in my surroundings. I knew what he was talking about. The other girls weren't joking when they told me that you could pay the taxi drivers in things other than money. Mister Kim grabbed my arm in a firm grip. "You know what you have to do."