[Jjong's POV]

The world is really a creepy, narrow, and scary place for me.

 

My parents died; soon after giving birth to me. It wasn't like I'm not thankful to them, but can you imagine?

 

Eighteen years without a friend is like.... A flower without a fragrance, or a face without a smile.

 

But no, I'm not alone, I got my best friend here always beside me.

 

I always wondered, how was my parents looked like?

 

I asked Sunhae that question 18 years ago. She was still a newborn baby who was destined to be my partner, so I thought it was impossible for her to answer me.

 

 

After she grew up about 8, her parents died in car accident. Now, we're two orphan children. We tried to comfort each other; but she never understands me. She just couldn't hear me. But that's okay, I'm used to it. She already tried her best and I'm not forcing her to understand me.

 

I just want her to be happy as I am whenever I'm with her. I'm going to give my best for her.

 

Every night, I could hear sobs that came out from her room every night. She looked lonely. She always looked lonely. Bruises and cuts on her arm kept increasing day by day.

 

Do people hate this innocent child? Why does she have to feel so much pain at her young age?

 

Time changed quickly, I'm 18 and she's only 2 days younger than me. Ever since her sweet 17th birthday, I always tag along everywhere she goes.

 

She brought me to the outside world and showed me a human's wonderful life. I was kind of envying her. My life was never been this beautiful. All I know for these 17 years of living was just learning how to eat; and how to fly.

 

 

As human, she filled her day normally. She really has wonderful life. I always wished my life could be this wonderful.

 

But why is she so unhappy?

 

 

One day, when she went out with her grandma, I sneaked to her room to study more about human's life. Of course, she never showed me her room before. We're not sharing room.

 

She only gave me a small paper box covered with cute papers, which I called: my room.

 

Her room was locked. But luckily, I'm small enough to go into the hole at her door. I was fascinated once I got inside. It was full of her scent; there were cupboard full of books and diaries - as I expected from a lonely girl.

 

Ever since that day, I always come to her room to study and read her books including her diaries. Although I've never being taught about alphabet, but I LEARNED. Funny, huh? A butterfly sneaking into a girl's room only to study alphabet.

 

ABCs and 123s. It was fun.

 

From her books, I know how's a butterfly life should be, and NO, butterflies don't live with a human. They're completely different species. The book says some kind of butterflies can harm human by their poisonous powder in their wings. That made me jump.

 

And of course, humans can't have conversations with butterfly!

 

 

So, that's it? Butterflies can't live with a human? I thought about it day by day. Is it my destiny to leave her and live our own life? No, I don't want any of this to happen. She's my best friend. And best friends don’t leave each other.

 

I can't and I don't want to leave her. My life would be nothing if I'm without her. She's been taking care of me for 17 years. She showed me the wonder of this world.

 

The night had come and I sneaked inside her room again to check what she has been doing.

 

She was crying. Crying, and crying with her head in her knees.

 

It happened almost every day.

 

 

What should I do to make her smile?

 

 

I tripped and crashed into a glass. Sunhae quickly wiped her tears away like she doesn't want anyone, even me to see it. She always pretended that she's strong.

 

But inside, I know she's really fragile and hurting so much because of her pain inside her heart that cannot be cured.

 

My Sunhae.... why you never talk to me? Am I that useless for you? Well yeah, I guess I am. But I can be your diary anytime, if you want. If I have bigger shoulders, I would let you soak them with your tears, I would keep you in my arms if I had bigger arms. I would sing for you to sleep if I had beautiful voice, and the voice that only you could hear.

 

She wiped the glass fragments on my broken wings. She looked at me with her sorrow eyes. Then burst into tears again. This time she really couldn't hide it from me. She brought me closer to her and held me in her palm.

 

I looked at her and touched her delicate cheek and caress it softly.

 

 

She mumbled something between her sobs. It was almost like a whisper, but I did hear.

 

 

"She left me, Jjong.... Grandma left me!!! I'm now alone in this scary world. What am I going to do?!! Everyone hates me!"She cursed.

 

 

I kept staring at her to show my sympathy. I really wanted to say that she's not alone, because I'm going to be always by her side. But she'll never understand me.

 

She cried to sleep. I almost couldn't do anything but cry to express my sorry. I stared at her. She was breathing heavily.

 

She looked so beautiful and fragile; how can this sweet girl be alone in this creepy world? She shouldn't be accepting this fate. She should be happy with her family and live her life normally as a human. But why is she so unlucky?

 

I hated to see her tears. She's the only friend that I have in my life. She makes me alive. She showed me the beautiful side of this world and she makes the world so colorful to me.

 

Slowly my eyes closed as I curled beside her delicate face.

 

* * *

 

When the morning came, I woke up early. I quickly went to the kitchen to make her a breakfast. I had to bring heavy sandwiches to her room on the second floor with these broken wings. Maybe that's the least thing I could to for her.

 

Minutes later, I just stared at her sleeping face; not wanting to wake her up this early. But the sound of chirping birds woke her from her deep sleep.

 

She yawned and blinked several times and looked around her. She must be looking for me.

 

I flew in front of her and gave her my best smile. But she only saw me for about 2 seconds before she saw the sandwiches on the table beside her bed. She looked at me with beautiful eyes of her.

 

She blinked couple times before she said,"For me?"

 

I nodded strong enough and she seems to understand what I meant.

 

"Want some?" she offered.

 

I shook my head. Butterflies don't eat sandwiches.

 

She ate slowly before bursting into tears again.

 

"Thank you." She whispered.

 

Why did she thank me? I didn't do anything.

 

 

She stood up and wiped her tears.

 

 

"I'm going for work." She said. She changed into some coffee-maid uniform and walked out of the house without saying a word.

 

 

For some reason, I just want her to stay at home and let me do the work for her. I don't care if I'm just a useless butterfly, so what? I don't care if people looking at me because of this small body and empty minded species.

 

 

If only I were a human.

 

 

* * *

 

Jjong is a Butterfly -- End of Chapter One