Dear ________,

              Today is the 164th day that I realize how much I love you, and it will also be the last day that I deserve to love you.

              I have never made a better decision in my life. You probably don’t know what I talking about right? But soon enough, you will.

              Please don’t question my official departure from your life, nor try to find me. It’s really for the best of us. I guess it’s selfish of me to make these decisions on my own, but I want you to have faith and believe in my decisions.

              Promise me that you will continue living your life with happiness. I hope that Jason can bring warmth into your life like you did with mine.

              Keep seeing the world on behalf of me.

              As long as my heart is still beating, I will always love you

Yixing

               Your heart starts to ache as you fold away the last letter.

               You couldn't find the answer to your questions in the last possible solution.

               You weren’t able to peacefully find sleep for the past week. Troubles and questions constantly invaded your mind, destroying your concentration and attention. It didn’t sense. What did he mean by “deserving to love you” or not? A subtle idea floated in the back of your mind. But no, you didn’t allow yourself to think about it, nor give the chance to let yourself believe that it might be the truth. A call seemed like the best solution to your problems.

               You snuggle comfortably into your large oversized sweater, feeling refreshed and clean from the shower. Grabbing the phone on the other end of the sofa, you dialed a number that seemed so foreign yet been already engraved into your mind for years.

               First ring.

               Second ring.

               Your heart starts to panic as you remember that the call automatically disconnects after the unresponsive fifth ring.

               Fourth ring.

               Fifth ring

               No more ringing, just dead silence. You let out a sigh as you pull the phone away from your ear to press the disconnect button when you see the numbers on the small digit screen.

               0:04…0:05…0:06…

               Yixing picked up.

               Your pulse starts to jump with excitement and energy as you quickly spoke before Yixing could hang up.

               “Hello? Yixing? It’s me.”

               Silence.

               “Hello? Are you there?”

               After a few moments, you hear a light breathing sound at the end of the other line.

               “…Hey.”

               Upon hearing his voice, the one hundred different ways to initiate the conversation that you had planned for the past week has been pulled out of your memory. Facing him, was just the slightly childish you that had no prepared words for him.

               “Are you eating well?” You blurt out.

               Silence then following a light chuckle rings warmly into your ears, the sound waves of his laughs echoing against your eardrum.

               “Yes, I’m eating well.” He speaks clearly but softly.

               “Oh. Good…then.” You fiddle with the phone cord as you force yourself to remember what you wanted to say to him. “Yixing, I miss you.”

               “…”

               “I miss you too.”

               A release of happiness overwhelms your whole body as you finally realize how much you’ve missed hearing this voice. No, the interviews of T.V. didn’t do, the music videos on the internet didn’t do. You needed to hear the real thing.

               But you quickly brought yourself back into reality, your desire to know the truth overcoming your shyness.

               “Why did you leave me?” Your voice almost comes out as a demanding hush of words across the line. “I read them, your let-”

               “You read my letters?” Yixing’s tone is suddenly raised to a higher pitch. “No, no, no. You, weren’t supposed to read them. I-I thought I left them on the plane, why did it-“

               He pauses for a while and stops his words before anymore reveals his true feelings.

               “It doesn’t matter if you read my letters, ________. We’re over, remember? You ended our relationship.”

               “No Yixing! Listen to me, we can solve th-“

               “I don’t love you anymore, _________. When I visited you in New York, it was all out of care from a friend, nothing more.” Yixing’s words felt like deadly venom poking at your skin little by little.

               “Wait, Yixing. I kno-“

               “If you keep bothering me like this, I’ll start to find you annoying, _________.” His voice comes out to be merciless and cruel, bringing shivers running down your back. “Please, don’t make me hate you.”

               You opened your mouth but no words came out. You could feel something stuck in your throat, unable to give a correct response to his words.

               “If you have nothing more to say, I will hang up now. Good bye.”

               “Yixin-”

               “Beep. Beep. Beep.”

               You hug your knees to your stomach as you feel fresh hot tears spilling over your cheeks.

               Those letters were all a lie.

               Yixing’s hands search mindlessly for the table in front of him to put his cellphone down, knocking a glass of water down in the process. He curses loudly as he throws his phone across the room, unable to control the rush of emotions running through his body.

               Luhan quickly enters the room and finds the mess, immediately grabbing a towel to the dry the water spill.

               “Yixing, are you okay?” Luhan softly speaks to his fellow member and best friend as he gently tapped Yixing’s hand to give him a sense of location to where he is.

               “She called.”

               Luhan mouths into a small o and sits on the bed beside him.

               “Did you tell her?”

               Yixing’s eyes stare into a different area where Luhan is and shakes his head softly.

               “No.”

A/n: Wow..haven't updated for ages...

hahahahahah sorry guys! school has been busy ><

hope you enjoy this one! :) wrote this in one hour and

didn't proofread yet T_T ill do it tomorrow..so...tired..now..