♦ No P.O.V ♦

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REMINDER:

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Jaejoong shuddered at the husky voice violating his ears. It felt wrong to have Taecyeon this close and he couldn’t avoid feeling utterly helpless and afraid. He was fragile and Taecyeon was so imposing. Taecyeon seemed so distant to his usual self and it was frightening.

Jaejoong wanted nothing more in the world than for Yunho to burst through the unhinged front door and save him once again.

But right now, it was just him and Taecyeon.

He was alone.

...

“S-sorry?” Jaejoong squeaked meagrely, turning his face as far away from the encroaching man as possible.

Taecyeon chuckled into a grin, the sound of his throaty voice causing the younger boy’s insides to squirm and his palms to shake.

“I did some bad stuff, Jae..” Taecyeon whispered into the boy’s ear, slowly forcing his legs to part Jaejoong’s thighs a little bit more.

“What are you--” Jaejoong flinched mid-sentence when the older boy’s hand moved to harshly palm the side of his face, forcing him to look back up into Taecyeon’s wild eyes.  The rough grip caused his fingernails to dig lightly into the sensitive flesh of Jaejoong’s neck, and instinctively, the younger boy’s tender hand shot up to pull vainly at Taecyeon’s muscular fore-arm.

Taecyeon leant forward, a blank expression crossing his face. Where once his eyes had glazed over and flared, they were now utterly unreadable. The dark pools were unfathomable and endless, and yet somehow calm.

“No! Taec.. S-stop!” Jaejoong called out, feeling Taecyeon’s free hand shamelessly making its way down to his waist and writhing as it came to rest solidly on his hip.

Jaejoong jerked and thrashed under Taecyeon’s weight when he felt the tip of the older’s fingers brush underneath the hem of his shirt and lightly breeze against his burning skin. Taecyeon seemed to smile in satisfaction, hardening his grip on the frightened boy’s chin and leaning back slightly to observe the sight.

Jaejoong’s hands came to limply grasp and push at Taecyeon’s own shirt in the hopes of forcing the elder away.

Unfortunately, it only seemed to spur the feral urges that had come to grip Taecyeon.

“Tsk tsk.” He shook his head mockingly. “Look at you all scared.” He cooed, jerking forward and startling the trembling Jaejoong when his lips brushed against the younger’s ear. “I won’t bite, you know.” He growled.

Jaejoong felt a painful lump in the back of his already arid and dry throat; he tried to tell Taecyeon to stop -again - but the words just didn’t seem to come up. Instead, his lips trembled and quivered and he winced at the callous grasp that the older firmly locked him in.

He could already feel a bruise beginning to form on the pale skin under Taecyeon’s cruel hand, but the older boy didn’t seem to care or even notice.

“Please..” Jaejoong whimpered, eyes b with unshed tears as he peered up into Taecyeon’s smug face.

Taecyeon’s solid grip on Jaejoong’s slim waist turned to steel, causing the younger to harshly dig his nails into the skin of the offending hand. The older boy smirked; ruthlessly tugging on Jaejoong’s chin, forcing the boy down into the couch and coming to hover over him and between his legs.

Jaejoong thrashed about some more, but to little effect - Taecyeon was simply too strong.

Once more Jaejoong attempted to push the imposing man off him, but his hands simply buckled under the broadness of Taecyeon’s chest; earning a sadistic chuckle for the man.

With Jaejoong securely pinned, Taecyeon withdrew his painful grasp of the younger’s chin; ironically brushing the tender, bruised skin of his cheek lightly and paradoxically, smiling gently.

“Don’t worry Jae. I’m not going to hurt you.” Taecyeon smiled, sickeningly.

The way Taecyeon used that nickname - the nickname Yunho had given him - made Jaejoong’s skin crawl. He felt disgusting having Taecyeon so close, smiling down at him.. Touching him. It felt beyond wrong and Jaejoong couldn’t force the image of Yunho’s sweet face out of his mind while he allowed Taecyeon to intrude on him.

Even though he had never asked for this, it felt as though he were somehow being unfaithful to Yunho; the only man that he ever wanted to touch him like this.

Yunho was gentle and loving; Taecyeon was harsh and cruel.

Yunho made him feel safe and wanted; Taecyeon made him feel vulnerable and pathetic.

Yunho had comforted him when he cried; Taecyeon made him want to cry.

Yunho held him gently; Taecyeon bruised him.

 Above all, Yunho was Yunho and Taecyeon was Taecyeon.

Taecyeon could never compare to what Yunho was, and the harshness of his behaviour was enough to prove that.

A tear slid down Jaejoong’s cheek as he squirmed under the mocking tenderness of Taecyeon’s touch; imagining that it was someone else’s caressing his cheek.

A strangled gasp escaped Jaejoong’s parched lips as he felt Taecyeon’s hand move down from his waist and along his thigh; a stream of tears beginning to flow when the same hand s it’s way around to grasp and clutch at the boy’s . Jaejoong kicked his legs around and shook his body, trying to wriggle out of Taecyeon’s claws, but the older boy simply d at him harder and with more tenacity for the challenge.

“No..” He whimpered. “..Let me go!” He pleaded through struggling breaths.

Taecyeon smirked yet again.

“What’s the matter, Jae?” He snarled. “I bet you love it when Yunho does this to you, right?” He haughtily asked, sure of himself.

Jaejoong shook his head violently, pushing desperately at Taecyeon’s torso.

“Y-Yunho would never do this to me!” Jaejoong spat back in retaliation, his strangled scream startling the older boy and causing him to once again take the younger’s chin strongly into his grip.

“You expect me to believe you’ve never opened your legs for him?” Taecyeon mocked harshly, forcing the crying boy’s face to look at him directly. “Why else would he change so much.. And for you?..”

Jaejoong recoiled at the accusation, shrinking back at the harsher tone of Taecyeon’s voice and choking on a new bout of tears.

Yunho really never had been so brazen with him or initiated anything more than a kiss, and to have Taecyeon expecting otherwise at a time like this only reinforced the feeling that he was somehow cheating on Yunho.

Taecyeon scoffed at the sight.

“ you.” Jaejoong whimpered, lowly.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” Taecyeon retorted arrogantly, taking a handful of Jaejoong’s hair and tugging at it, causing the boy to wince yet again. “..You’re pathetic..” He muttered under his breath.

Jaejoong’s hands bawled into fists, unconsciously battering frivolously against Taecyeon’s chest.

“..You really are ing gorgeous though..” Taecyeon mumbled, leaning forward and again cupping the boy’s face.

“What are you--? N-no.. Taec stop it!”.. Jaejoong practically screamed and lashed his hands vainly against the older boy as Taecyeon’s eyes glazed over; staring directly at the younger’s lips.

Taking one last lean forward, Taecyeon closed the small gap that he’d allowed to remain.

“N--” Jaejoong was about to protest when suddenly Taecyeon’s lips crashed down onto his own.

Taecyeon’s lips moved erratically and desperately against the unwilling flesh of the trembling boy beneath him; his aggressiveness allowing no chance of breath or respite, causing Jaejoong’s cries and protests to become stifled and unreadable. Instead he had to resort to slamming one fist against the other’s muscular shoulder and clawing at his restricting arm with his other free hand.

Taecyeon’s eyes were firmly shut and his brow furrowed at the contact; he pushed himself harder onto Jaejoong, causing the boy’s lips to redden and swell slightly.

To say the least, the kiss felt wrong. It was awkward and desperate, as if Taecyeon wasn’t even sure of it himself. Not that Jaejoong had ever wanted to kiss him in the first place.

Jaejoong gasped slightly and felt a fresh tear trickling down his bruised cheek when the older boy’s tongue began to move timidly against his mouth; although he kept his lips firmly shut, denying Taecyeon anymore chance to violate him past what he’d done already. Jaejoong’s skin crawled as he felt the older’s tongue recede, taking the opportunity to again lash at Taecyeon’s chest.

At this point, Taecyeon himself wasn’t really sure what he was doing.

Whether it was the sharp sting of slender fists jabbing into him, the prickly pain of where Jaejoong had scratched, or indeed the kiss itself; something about Taecyeon sobered up in the few seconds that their lips connected.

He was kissing Jaejoong.

He was forcing his own lips on his best friend’s boyfriend.

Taecyeon’s eyes suddenly flew open; the realisation of what he was doing, hitting him in the face like a high-speed train.

He retracted his lips from Jaejoong’s own, withdrew his hands from Jaejoong’s body and leant away from Jaejoong’s proximity; blinking and looking blankly down at the disaster he’d caused.

Tears stained Jaejoong’s face and washed over fresh bruises that the older boy knew all too well he’d caused. He’d put his hands on Jaejoong in the most intimate of ways and done the worst possible thing he could think of to his vulnerable neighbour. The guilt that began to bubble and rise in his chest was nothing of an apology to the young boy, and he knew that. What he’d done seemed unforgiveable, even to himself.

And then he felt a sharp stinging pain across his face.

Jaejoong slapped him. Hard. And it stunned him.

“Get the off me you bastard!” Jaejoong yelled, grasping at the opportunity and pushing Taecyeon away finally.

“Jae..” He whispered, looking down - ashamed. He slid hesitantly off the couch and from in between the boy’s legs; a thought that made the pang of guilt turn into a sharp stabbing.

Jaejoong hastily withdrew from the couch, putting as much distance between himself and the dumbstruck Taecyeon as possible.

“Don’t ing talk to me!” Jaejoong screamed.

“I-I’m so sorry--” Taecyeon stuttered, unable to think of anything other to say.

“--Just leave.” Jaejoong interrupted.

“But I--”

“--Now!” A new round of fresh tears seemed intent on falling from Jaejoong’s already hurt and tired eyes.

Jaejoong ran, clasping both hands to his face, to the bathroom. Locking the door firmly behind him, he shrank to the floor and sobbed.

‘Why?’ He asked himself.

Over and over.

‘Why me?’

‘What did I ever do to deserve this?’

But of course, no answer came. Only more tears.

Jaejoong was sick of crying. Sick of being weak and sick of all the he’d had to put up with.

And Taecyeon’s words still rang clear in his mind.

‘Pathetic’. The same word his father had used all those years ago when he’d thrown him out on the street. And now it seemed nothing had really changed.

Just when everything was starting to look up, when he’d allowed himself to get swept of his feet and truly believe that a life with Yunho was finally the life he’d wished for; Taecyeon happened.

Taecyeon ruined it all in one afternoon.

All of a sudden, Jaejoong’s stomach wretched and he felt beyond ill. His body knotted as he dragged himself across the floor and to the toilet, almost immediately throwing up violently into the bowl. It seemed that all the hurt was intent on coming out; a fitting thought that it would force itself out into the toilet.

Jaejoong’s pitifully pained sounds rang through the apartment for several minutes before they died down, finally coming to a halt when the spent boy collapsed lifelessly onto the cold floor of the bathroom; body sore and tired from it all.

Jaejoong lay there for a while. Longer than he would be able to remember. The fresh images of Taecyeon forcing his mouth onto his own stained his memory, only to be over-shadowed by the massive feeling of guilt that overran him when he remembered that Yunho would be returning from work later that evening. Yunho’s beautiful, soft smile stabbed at Jaejoong’s heart when he thought about what the older boy would say or do when he found out.

Somehow, Jaejoong’s warped logic managed to turn the whole situation around and he put the blame for all of this on himself. He imagined that Yunho would at least throw him out when he found out, and the thought made him shed yet more tears.

Jaejoong all but curled into a ball on the floor, clutching at his knees and pulling them into his chest as the weeping continued; eventually allowing a river of tears to flow onto the lifeless floor.

“I’m so sorry, Yunnie..” He whimpered.

“I couldn’t stop him..”

...

Eventually, Jaejoong stopped crying and dragged himself to his feet.

Slowly, he managed to slump over the basin of the sink and scoop a handful of water to splash over his stained face.

He looked at himself in the mirror, grimacing when he saw the extent of the bruise Taecyeon had left on the side of his face. There was no chance that he could possibly hide it from Yunho. He would definitely find out.

With a wounded, heavy sigh, Jaejoong lifted himself up and forced himself out of the bathroom; hoping and praying that Taecyeon had slithered away so that he wouldn’t have to face him.

The idea of seeing Taecyeon at all sent a shiver down the boy’s spine, knowing that he would be terrified the next time they met.

But of course Taecyeon hadn’t left.

Jaejoong was shocked, upon returning to the living room, to find the previously primal and petrifying man sat - on the floor - with his head in his hands.

Taecyeon sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, resting his back against the front of the couch with his face buried into the harsh hands that had bruised Jaejoong’s own.

His body shook and strangled sobs escaped from his form, muffled by the strength of his hands.

To his surprise, Taecyeon looked up at Jaejoong when the latter quietly entered the room - standing awkwardly at the furthest possible distance from the now pitiful man on the floor.

Tears were streaming down Taecyeon’s cheeks and his eyes were red and puffy.

“I.. I ed up, didn’t I?” Taecyeon whispered through the tears.

...

A/N

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