I turned to his direction. I was dumb-founded when I saw his face few inches away from me. It shook the hell out of me making me lost my balance and fell flat on the floor. That time, I wish I was a bubble that will soon pop and disappear in this world. He lend his hand to me. Thinking that it will be less embarrassing I took it. I felt his warmth against my palm. I thought I’ll collapse after having a skin contact with him. My blood was drained from my body, my hands trembled and my throat dried up. I pull my hands as soon as I got on my feet.

"Next time, be careful." He smiled. Just before going out of the shop, he waved at me and said "See you around!"

Claire hurried towards me.

"_____!" She yelled my name loud enough that the people two blocks away could hear

"Did you....just...just hold his....hands? Waaaaaah! Smart ! If only I knew I should’ve drown in front of him so he’ll mouth to mouth me " She hit me lightly on my shoulders.

He talked to me. He smiled at me. He touched me.

I was still at dazed. I still feel the warmth of his skin, his voice and his presence.

"Are you that star struck You know what. We have work to do." Claire dragged me to the counter.

“No, I’—I‘m no“ I tried to answer but she shut me up.

“Yes, you are. Look at yourself.”

I did what she said. I looked at my reflection on a spoon. Claire giggled.

“Don’t worry I understand. If I were you I probably faint from happiness.”

---

"Hi ______. You don't have an appointment, right?" Dr. Thomas' secretary asked me as soon as I entered the clinic.

"Yes, but I....I need to...to talk to him." I said still catching my breath.

"Did you ran all the way here? Do you want something to drink?" She asked.

“No need. I’m fine. I just need to talk to him, please." I responded.

"I understand --" She patted my back. "but right now he's with a patient and his next patient is already here so you'll need to wait until he's finished."

I just nodded and went to the lobby. I sat on the end corner of the room.

I buried my face on my hands and started sobbing. After my tears dried up, I pulled my sweater's sleeves and wiped my face. I took several deep breathes to calm myself, as what Dr. Thomas told me to do.

I heard the door open.

"Jay, come in." Dr. Thomas called from the door.

I felt great tremors ran down my spine after seeing the person entering the Dr. Thomas' room.

"Park Jaebum" I mumbled under my breath. I wanted to stand up and walk away but I can’t move.

---------------

That’s it. I made a friend. She’s Leighton, a Japanese-American, who came from Seattle. Having the same feelings towards our situation, we instantly clicked together. Again, I found another oasis. I made a mistake when I left Camille but now that I found another one, I won't leave anymore. NEVER. She’s a part of a transfer-student program. She told me that the reason why she applied for it is because of ... Park Jaebum.

PARK JAEBUM.

She's been talking about him and his group all the time. One time, she dragged me to a fan signing event just to see him. She even hand me a copy of their album to get it signed. We went there early in the morning yet we failed to get their autograph. She was DEVASTATED and blamed me for being SLOW and PESSIMISTIC.

She treasures 2PM, especially Park Jaebum, so much that make me envious of them, of him. I felt like he is stealing my best friend away from me.

"Will you stop talking about him for a second?" I yelled at her.

Her eyes grew furious. "What the hell is wrong with you? You keep on talking about him! If you hate hearing his name every  fxcking second just don’t talk to me. DONE!” Leighton walked out from me.

That was the first and last argument we had. Since then, she didn't talk to me. I tried approaching her but she’s shoving me away. Even the rest of my girl classmates do the same because of Park Jaebum and that 2PM.

It’s fixed in my mind that Park Jaebum and 2PM are the sole reason why Leighton hated me so much.

I tried to make things better but nothing worked.

I opened my laptop and went to myspace to check if Camille had messaged me.

To my awe, I was logged in as Jay Park.

Something flashed inside my mind.

---

"Look at this." Leighton showed me Park Jaebum's myspace account.

"You know his password? How on earth-"

"Connections." she cut me.

"Goodness. You're scary."

She smiled at me. " but I'm kind of worried." She sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

She highlighted something.

"I hate Korea.... Koreans are gay." I read out loud.

"That short guy! How could he say that words! Koreans love him yet--"

"He commented that 4 years ago." She cut me again,

"Oh, so you don’t need to be scared. It's been 4 years. Like who cares? No one will notice it, I assure you." I smiled at her.

“You don’t how things go in the entertainment industry. You know, it’s cruel.” She sighed.

--

That's it. I screen capped his comments and posted it on different sites.

The very next morning, Leighton went to me furious.

"Is it you?" She asked me.

"What's wrong?" I started to feel nervous.

She threw at me a page of newspaper.

'2PM's Park Jaebum hates Korea and thinks Koreans are gay.'

"So?"

Pak. She slapped me.

"You don't know how this will affect him! 2PM! If something happened forget that I'm your friend." She blurted out.

"Don’t be such an idiot! Does that Park Jaebum know you? Does 2PM know you? You are wasting your time for them. The world doesn't revolve around them! Have a life!."  She stopped walking and glared at me.

"I'll rather dwell my life onto them rather than a having a misery life like yours." She whispered.

Misery Life? It's just starting.

Four days has passed, I'm not attending school anymore after bunch of girls from my school beat me up. I've been receiving, nonetheless, hundreds of hatemails and death threats. People wants me to KILL MYSELF which I did, at least I tried.

Writer's Note

I know I don't update fast but I promise I'll finish this up. Also I'm really thankful to my everyone who appreciates my story. Thanks!

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