-----

You have a nightmare.

It's a horrible nightmare. It's a nightmare that not only plays at the back of your eyelids, showing you scenes you wish to unsee, but also tears at your throat, your mind, your heart. Everything burns. You feel insufficient. You feel yourself start to lose the privilege to move, to speak, to operate. It's like there is an unyielding shield blocking all your senses. You wish to breathe, but your lungs won't expand. You wish to open your eyes, but they are sealed closed. You wish to speak, but your mouth is seamed shut. You wish to do the things necessary to live, but your disabilities hold you back.

You dream of Yongguk. You are walking with him down one of many streets in the city square. He is holding your hand, but his fingers are calloused, more so than you remember. There is a troubled look in his eyes. He opens his mouth to speak to you. You say something back, but he stares at you as if what you have said didn't register. He repeats his words. You reply again, louder this time. He still doesn't hear you. He stares at the place where you stand, and when you look down at your clasped hands, you realize that his hand is translucent. His fingers fall through your own, and any heat you had felt emanating from his palm slips away. 

It's as if he's completely disappeared. 

He's still there. He's still beside you. But no matter what he does – shouts or makes distinct arm movements - to get your attention, he can't achieve the interest of anyone around him. You are the only one who sees him. Everyone else passes by him, unfeeling, completely uninformed by his character. You say what you can to tell him you're there, but he doesn't hear you.

"I'm here," you cry. "I'm here." But he doesn't respond.

It's as if there's an invisible wall separating you two from communicating. It's a one-way window, a route where you can see him, but he cannot see you. 

That feeling of claustrophobia clutches you again. You find yourself transported to Yongguk's home. At least, you think it's his home - you've never been there before. But the way he lies down on the bed gives you the impression that this is where he lives. Belatedly, you realize he cannot see you. Even when you speak, your loud voice cannot wake him. His face is serene, and there is a beautiful, calm smile curling his lips. You reach out to touch him, but you cannot move. You cannot step forward. You try to move your arms or your legs. It pains you, this restriction, but you can’t do anything about it, so you stand and watch.

But then Yongguk struggles. He starts having nightmares of his own. Sweat peppers his brow, and an agonized look darkens his eyes. He no longer looks tranquil. He looks sad, but more than sad, he looks afraid. He thrashes on the bed, his movements too desperate. You want to wake him up from this bad dream, but you can’t. You can’t move. You can’t do anything. So you watch, helpless, and wait as he continues to struggle with the monsters inside his head. Finally, he stops beating his blankets around and lies back down on his bed. You’re happy to see him calm again.

But he looks too calm.

And you realize, with horror, that he’s dead.

You wake up with a start, your shoulders heaving in exhaustion, your breath coming out in painful, warm rasps. You stare at the blankets crumpled around you and clench a fist around the soft fabric. You bury your head in your hands and try to take calming breaths, but your heart is still beating too fast. You glance at the phone that sits next to your pillow and reach over to check the time. It’s 4am. 4am? What are you doing up this early? With a wary sigh, you lie back down on the bed, tuck the blankets to your chin, and try to fall asleep again.

-----

The sharp ringing of your phone wakes you up. Groaning, you use your hand to pat the space beside you until your fingers come in contact with your phone. You pull it to your ear and, with a tired tone, greet, “Hello?”

“Morning!” Yongguk says happily, the excitement ringing in his voice. The volume of his tone wakes you up, and you burst upright.

“Are you okay?” You panic, remembering your nightmare. “Yongguk, are you – “

“Huh? I’m fine. I’m at the