#28:Third Wheel
Tao-centric
Continuity:  After drabbles 27 & 15
Warning: Angst. Angst everywhere. Get your tissues and don't say I didn't warn you.

Tao could remember Sehun being the first friend he made when he got to the Northern Sanctuary. Sehun was quite fond of Lu Han, but he was closer in age to Tao, so it figured that the pair of them would become friends at some point. Tao was shy and didn’t like to talk because he was painfully aware of his accent, and Sehun was bright and bubbly and didn’t like to talk because, as he said, “his words were broken.” So Tao and Sehun got along quite nicely, playing without words. Since Sehun was so close to Kai, it also figured that Kai would get close to Tao too.

For a while they were like triplets, never going anywhere without the others and helping each other with homework and making fun of the older boys behind their backs. Eventually their group expanded to include Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Chen, but Tao always had a special place in his heart for Jongin and Sehun. When he wasn’t with Kris he was with his fellow youngest members.

When Sehun started to hang out with Lu Han and date him, it was okay that he wasn’t around as much because Tao had Kai and they got along well enough even without Sehun. Though it wasn’t a stretch to say that Sehun held them together. Then Kai started to notice Chen, and Tao started to feel like a third wheel. It got worse when they got to Earth, because Sehun got married and Kai reconnected with Chen. Tao was happy for them, really he was, but at the same time he missed his friends.

Even hanging out with them wasn’t the same, because all they talked about was their relationship. Or at least it seemed like it was all they talked about. In reality Tao probably exaggerated, but it irritated him that they had to drag their relationships around with them everywhere. And Tao was jealous. He was jealous and lonely and he wanted what they had. He wanted someone to look at him the way Sehun looked at Lu Han and Chen looked at Kai and he wanted his friends back. He wished they could go back to being ten and eleven, playing kittens and pirates.

Tao prided himself on being a calm and collected person, but sometimes he just lost control.

Tao was walking with the pair of them, the rest of the group in front of them. By some miracle Chen and Lu Han were occupied with other members of the group and Tao thought he could have a moment with his friends, and it started out alright but he shut his mouth for a few seconds and Sehun and Kai turned to each other.

“It was really thoughtful of him,” Kai sighed. “I wish I could see Chen like that more often.”

“I know what you mean,” Sehun said wistfully. And he continued, going on and on.

Tao was standing off to the side, waiting for them to stop. But then they went on, and Kai whispered that he was thinking of proposing to Chen soon. Sehun gasped quietly and Tao lost it.

First he saw red and he felt an incredible power swirl under his skin, threatening to burst. He squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that lights burst behind his eyelids, and when he exhaled time stopped.

He turned furiously to Kai and Sehun, now frozen with stupid grins on their faces and they just looked so happy that Tao wanted to hit them.

“I HATE YOU!” He screamed as loudly as he could. His voice echoed around the empty and still road. No one turned to him, everything had stopped. On this world and in the universe for all that Tao knew or cared. He was focused on his friends, or rather the people who were currently making him miserable.

“Can’t you see that I miss you?!” Tao hollered, feeling tears prick his eyes. “You’re never there for me anymore! Why do you always have to do this? Can’t you see that you’re hurting me?” His voice broke and he whirled around, covering his face.

“It’s not fair,” he sobbed, “I knew Lu Han first, he’s my friend too. You don’t own him, and he doesn’t own you,” Tao hiccupped and he tried to catch his breath. “And Kai, damn it what the hell? I thought you said that you’d never get like this, we hated when Sehun would gush about Lu Han for hours and now you’re just as bad as he is and…” Tao fell to his knees and doubled over, clutching his arms around himself as if it could stop his heart from breaking.

“Why are you leaving me?” He cried. “I don’t want to be alone…” he fell onto his side and screamed as loudly as he could, breaking off only when his throat got too raw. He started to cough, and he knew he had to calm down or he’d hyperventilate. Finally he realized just how loudly he was crying and that he could hear it echoing around him, bouncing back to him from the buildings and the forests and the abandoned cars, it sounded like a hundred people crying…

Tao had no idea how long he could freeze time for, he never tried to do it for more than a few minutes at a time, because it freaked him out. He’d only ever told Kris about it, but being the only person who could move or speak, walking around and seeing other people frozen and knowing they could see or hear him…it was what Tao imagined death to be like. That or being all alone in the world, which he really was at this time. And sometimes Tao swore that something was watching him, he could see shadows moving from his peripheral vision or hear whispers, things that weren’t caused by the wind. there was no wind when Tao froze time.

The Tree told him it was his imagination, ghost stories making him think that he wasn’t alone. It saw his memories and assured him that he had nothing to fear, but when Tao was alone in the world and his voice was echoing back at him, it seemed so real.

Tao sat up, knowing that he was starting to panic. He looked around wildly, doing a double take when he saw a shadow swirl in the distance. His throat closed up and breathing suddenly got ten times harder. His vision started to darken at the edges, like he was about to faint and no, not here, not like this, he couldn’t faint and let the monster get him…

Tao honestly didn’t know how he stopped time, he really just willed it to stop and it did. When he wanted it to start again, he did the reverse. Now Tao hurled himself to his feet and ran, willing time to start again as he did so. At once sound and motion returned, and Sehun and Kai’s happy laughter reached him just as he crashed into Kris and nearly sent both of them crashing to the pavement.

“By the Tree!” Kris yelped, desperately throwing his arms around Tao as he sobbed hysterically.

“What the hell happened?” Suho demanded, whirling around.

Everyone froze as Tao’s legs gave out and Kris had to scramble to support his weight. Tao clutched his shirt and gasped for breath. “They’re going to get me,” he gasped, “The shadows were there, they were there, they were real I heard them…”

Now everyone knew that Tao had frozen time, it wasn’t the first time they’d watched him lose it after coming out of that state. Kris lowered Tao to the floor, holding him against his chest and his hair. “It’s okay baby,” he whispered, “You’re safe now, I won’t let them get you.”

Tao covered his face and curled up into the smallest ball he could manage without falling off Kris’ lap. “I don’t want to be alone,” he whimpered, “I’m so scared gege…”

Kris rocked him gently and kissed his forehead. “It’s okay,” He said again, whispering so that Tao was the only one who could hear, “I won’t leave you alone. You’ll always have me, I promise.”

Kris had a different theory about why Tao panicked when he froze time. It had really only started after the incident in the forest after all. Dangling over a pit of swirling darkness that wanted to take over your soul would scar anyone for life, he reasoned.

“Tao, look at me,” Kris pleaded, and Tao finally lifted his head. Kris cradled his face and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I’m right here, I’ve got you and I’m not going to let you go ever again. That thing will never get you.”

Tao slowly relaxed, taking more even breaths and feeling the tension leave his body. Kris produced a bottle of water and held it for Tao while he took slow sips. After a few minutes Tao was calm enough to move, but he was exhausted from the use of his power and the panic attack. Kris handed his backpack off to Chanyeol and turned in time for Tao to collapse onto his back. After his panic attacks Tao had the tendency to go completely limp and silent. He wouldn’t fall asleep like Chen did, he would remain alert but unresponsive. As they resumed walking (this time looking for an abandoned apartment to rest in) Tao heard Suho interrogating Kai and Sehun about why he had frozen time, but of course neither of them could answer.

They found an old motel near the side of the road and decided to take shelter there for the night. They all branched off in groups of twos or threes, Suho and Kris deciding to stay with Tao for the night.

Kris laid Tao out on the bed and climbed up next to him. Tao shifted so that he could rest his head on Kris’ lap. Suho sat near Tao’s feet and pulled his shoes off.

“Poor baby,” Suho sighed. “I wish I knew how to help you.”

Tao really wished he knew how to thank Suho for that—he wasn’t Tao’s leader but he always looked out for him. He remembered all the nights Kris spent in the Healer’s Wing and Suho allowing him to sleep in his bed and holding him while he cried from missing Kris.

Kris tapped Tao’s cheek and Tao looked up at him. “Would this have anything to do with Sehun and Kai’s relationship status?”

Tao blinked up at him. “How did you…?”

Kris smiled sadly. “You were walking with them, but they said they didn’t know what triggered you. They weren’t really paying attention to you were they?”

Tao bit his lip and looked away. “It’s stupid of me,” he muttered. “I made it a big deal and it’s not…”

“Don’t say that,” Kris said. “It’s a big deal to you. You miss your friends.”

Tao squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “It’s not just that,” he mumbled. “I…I don’t want to listen to it. It’s unfair of me but I don’t want to watch them be happy while I’m alone.” There, he’d said it. He’d gotten it out in the open, he was jealous and petty and he didn’t want his friends to be happy without him.

“I’m a horrible friend,” he moaned, covering his face and sobbing.

“Honey, no you’re not,” Suho cried, scooting up the bed and petting Tao’s hair. “You think you’re the only one who’s lonely? We all are, we all want to fall in love. We all feel like we’re missing something and it . It’s okay to be a little jealous, it’s healthy even!”

Kris rubbed his thumb across the back of Tao’s neck. “He’s right baby. We all feel lonely, it doesn’t make you a horrible friend. It makes you human.”

“It ,” Tao sobbed. “And it hurts. I want it to stop.”

Suho laid down next to him and wrapped his arm around Tao’s waist. “It will,” he promised. “One day you’ll find someone who will love you.”

Kris laid down as well, curling up against Tao’s back and kissing his cheek. “We can talk more about this in the morning,” he said softly. “For now we should get some sleep.”

Tao woke up in the middle of the night because his arm had fallen asleep. As he tried to rearrange himself he found that Kris and Suho were pressed tightly against his sides, holding him and keeping him safe. Tao knew that in the morning he would feel silly for overreacting, and Kai and Sehun would make him sit between them at breakfast and they would fuss over him and make sure he was okay. Maybe they would play tag on the road or try to teach Daisy to fetch, and Tao would realize that he wasn’t being abandoned after all. But for now all he could think was that if he had to be lonely, it wasn’t bad to have Suho and Kris with him.

I'M SORRY FOR GOING BACK TO SAD STORIES THAT MAKE YOU CRY BUT IT'S ME WE ALL KNEW THE FLUFF STREAK HAD TO END. I WANTED SOMETHING QUICK AND I WAS ORIGINALLY GOING FOR HAPPY BUT THAT TAKES TOO LONG. ANGST IS MUCH QUICKER. I WROTE THIS IN AN HOUR. I’M SORRY 4 MISTAKE.

PS Kai and Sehun love Tao and they’ll never leave him. Also maybe I’m shipping Tao/Kris/Suho OT3 IDEK anymore.

Oh yeah and fill out this poll if you want p*rn or not. Like even if you don't comment just vote so I know what to throw at you people next because i actually have 2Jong written.