It was a usual Sunday morning. I woke up at 6, got a shower, read a few pages of bible, made breakfast, then get ready for church then get to the hospital. I’m off today, but I like visiting patients in my free time, including Sundays. It’s great to share stories and listen to their health progress when I don’t have to rush with tight schedule. It’s already became my habit, my sanctuary.

I have to leave home a little early today, because I have to stop by an old apartment building to meet the landlady who was helping me with charity work for my church. The place was not very far from where I live, but it was on the opposite of my church direction. And I don’t wanna be late for my Sunday service.

I brushed my teeth after I ate breakfast. As look at my reflection in the mirror, the conversation I had with my little sister last night were flashing back in my mind. We talked, no, argued, on the phone for almost an hour. It was always over the same thing.

“Oppa, I just talk with umma and appa.”She stated after asking how I’ve been doing.

“Umma asked you to check on me, huh?!” I guessed.

“Don’t be so judgmental! They were only asking about your well-being.” She told me. Then she continued, “But seriously, speaking about that, I when are you planning to settle down? You know, find a nice girl, get married, have some kids...”

“I’ll get married when I have found the right one to be married to.” I answered coldly. Seriously, I’m tired of that question.

“I’m still curious, oppa! What kind of girl are you looking for, really?” She demanded.

“I’ll let you know about that when I already met that person, okay?” I said again. Then we argued about it some more, until we don’t have the energy to continue arguing anymore.

Aish! Why couldn’t my family just leave me alone? I really mean it when I say I haven’t found the right person. Oh look, I’m already getting wrinkles just by thinking about it. Hhhhh....

Then I grabbed my keys and drive out to the old apartment building. It was quite early so the there weren’t too many cars out on the road. I got there 5 minutes faster than I expected. I was just walking to the landlady’s unit on the 3rd floor when I suddenly heard her voice screaming.

“CALL AN AMBULANCE!!” She screamed from the unit opposite her own. Her son hurried back inside, to call for ambulance, I presumed. I ran towards the direction where the landlady’s voice came from. I speed dialed the hospital phone while I ran.

“This is Dr. Choi Siwon. There’s been an emergency. Send an ambulance to Rose Apartment, 3rd floor. STAT!”

I hurried to the open door of room 302. Inside, the landlady was crouched over a young man, must be in early twenties, who were laying peacefully on the bed. The moment I saw his face, my heart skipped a beat. I was drawn to that sleeping figure, in ways I could never explain.

“Mrs. Kim, what happened?” I touch the landlady’s shoulder.

She turned around and hugged tight once she realized it was me.

“Oh, Dr. Choi... Help him! I was asking him for the rent money, when he didn’t answer, I checked on the door. I always do that to every room, just to make sure that the tenant had locked the door before they go out. But his door was not locked, so I let myself in. Then I found him like this, not breathing.” She sobbed lightly, kept trying to rock the unconscious man.

I check on him. I swear by God I have never seen such a beautiful human being. I checked for his pulse. It’s still there, although very weak. But I need to know what caused him lost is consciousness. So I asked Mrs. Kim to do the deeds.

“Mrs. Kim, do you know if he has chronic illness?” I asked first, while checking the young man’s mouth and throat to see if there’s anything blocking his respiratory path.

“Not that I know of...” Mrs. Kim answered, “Kyuhyun always looked pale and weak, but I never saw him fall sick before.”

“Can you please help me look around here and see if you can find any prescription?” I asked again politely.

“Sure. Just please, help him.” She said, then started to look around the room.

I looked back at the young man’s sleeping figure. And as I did so, I felt something warm in my heart again. Something I have never felt before. I was just about to give him a blow when I heard Mrs. Kim called out to me.

“Dr. Choi! Look at this!” She handed over a small empty bottle to me. Zolpidem. ! This kid is taking sleeping pills??

“And then there’s this.” Mrs. Kim then handed me a piece of paper. I didn’t have to read the whole thing to know that it was a suicide note. I quickly performed a CPR on him.

1..2..3..4..5.. Blow. 1..2..3..4..5.. Blow.

“Mrs. Kim, get me some milk!”

No, no, no.... I will not let you die. Not like this, not when I have just found you!I prayed silently.

1..2..3..4..5.. Blow. 1..2..3..4..5.. Blow.

I hope it’s not too late. Come on, milk! Do your magic! Neutralize!

“Come on, beautiful! Don’t you give up on me!” I said to the young man.

1..2..3..4..5.. Blow. 1..2..3..4..5.. Blow.

Dear Lord, help me please... Save him please... Help us....

Suddenly the young man coughed and vomited. I saw residue of the sleeping pills everywhere. I hope he got it all out.

“Oh, thank God... Thank God..!” I hugged the kid without thinking, I was just relieved that he survived.

I rolled him to his side to make sure that nothing blocks his throat. And as the kid, what was his name again? Kyuhyun?? Yes, as Kyuhyun caught up his breath, the breath was trying to stop, I thanked God over and over again. I’m grateful that I have found Kyuhyun. I’m grateful that Kyuhyun survived. I’m grateful that we’re gonna have a second chance.

Why he chose to end his life is something I would try to find out later. But that moment he opened his eyes, all that mattered was  he was alive. His heart was beating again. Reasons would have to wait. I just wanted to ponder in the joy of his thumping chest, where my hands, and my heart, lingered.

 
***

(to be continued)