Chapter 2

“Let’s go outside while you wait for your parents.”

“No, I don’t think you should come down with me.”

“But I always do.”

“But I told you my dad thinks I like boys. Ok so I do. Well, I like you. And well it might get weird.”

“Well, I will sit with you until they come but I will just leave when you walk to the car. I won’t say anything.”

…

Onew sees the car coming he is about to go when the car pulls up faster than he thought it would. And Taemin’s mother gets out. “Hi, kids how is it going? Taemin you didn’t eat too much of the candy did you because if you have a stomach ache then we can’t get cotton candy.”she said bubbly.

“We saved some. Is dad still ya’ know… mad?”

“Don’t worry about him. Onew would you like to come with us to the fair?”

“Yes, if it’s ok.” He hopped down from the little brick wall.

As they buckle their belts Taemin gets very nervous. Why did his mom do this to him? Dad will find out. “So, Taemin tells us you like the same music. So I guess that means you both want to listen to this channel right?” She turned it to something awful.

“ooooh god no, turn it! Turn it!!!

“Oh so it’s this station you like then.”

Taemin shot his hands over his ears “MOM oh my ears!” Onew pretends to die. They all laughed except for Minho. She finally turned it to their favorite pop station. “Yay!!! Thanks mom.”

She turned around gives him a small kissy face and says “you’re welcome.”

Onew whisperd “Your mom is so cool and soo funny. I wish she was my mom. Let’s not worry about your dad ok. Let’s just have fun and stick close to your mom just in case.”

“Agreed, let’s give dad space.”

“K, Minnie.”

“Oh and don’t call me Minnie around my parents. “

“K, Taem”

“No for real call me Taemin it’s more grown up. I want my dad to know I’m older now.”

“Oh ok. Not a problem… Taeminnie” He whispered.

Taemin laughed nervously.

……

When they got there Gwiboon took the boys straight for the cotton candy she was craving. “This reminds me of being a little girl. This is always my favorite thing about these kind of places Circus/fair carnival. It’s just the best. Don’t you boys agree?”

Onew chimed “Yeah this is the best. Taemin, do you want to go on the Ferris wheel with me?”

“Yes I want to go, mom can we?” He bounced.

“Sure. Dad and I will stay here.”

“No, we should go with them.” He turned to his wife and whispered “I don’t want that Onew boy alone with my son.”

“You said he needed to grow up. let him go on his own with his friend. And I said don’t start. Don’t you want to take me on the carousel like you did when we were kids?” She batted her eyes.

“What.. no. I’m going to the beer garden section. Why don’t you come with me?”

“No. I didn’t come here to sit on the sidelines and drink. I came here to have fun with my family. And I thought since they were off for a second me and you could have a moment of our own.”

“You just implied they are having a moment.”

“Knock it off. He isn’t gay and even if he is, our son is 11 and his friend is 12 it’s not like they are ing on the god damn Ferris wheel. Go to your ing beer garden I’m going to the damn carousel by myself. I am not having this conversation in public.” She turned around and saw the boys standing in line goofing off and they looked so happy, which made her smile come back. Life had been so sad without her baby boy. Seeing him be able to be a real kid made her heart melt with joy. And seeing him so happy with Onew made her feel envious. She used to love someone long ago when she was about their age, and never fully acted on it. And it all flooded back. She has regretted it ever since. She doesn’t want Taemin to regret his life. The only thing she doesn’t regret is having Taemin. But she hates that she gave into Minho telling her it’s better for him to go to that big scary faraway school. She cried in bed for weeks missing her baby boy, her only child. She always wanted to be a mom and she felt like life took that away from her too. She started to tear up at the old memories and looked for the carousel. If I can’t make it up to little Gwiboon, then I can fix it by giving it to Taemin. I will protect him. She wiped the solitary tear from her cheek, as she entered the line all alone. Before getting on the pink horse she looked around in vain hoping her long lost love would find her there. But no, that would never happen. Lost forever.

….

Minho sat there being all pissed off that his son might like boys. He had no proof and did he even want it?. He was raised to believe that boys like girls and boys played sports and boys listened to rock not pop. They didn’t have teddy bears to keep them from missing there mommies. Real men sat here and drank beer they were not eating ing cotton candy and smiling like the world was made of due drops and ing rainbows. The real world wasn’t like that. If he aint gay then my only son is a ing pansy.

---

“I’m scared; this thing is higher than I thought.” Taemin didn’t move to their bucket seat.

“I’m here so don’t be scared. Take my hand.” he took Taemin’s small hand in his and walked on to the platform the attendant opened the door. Onew sat down and held Taemin’s hand “here if you’re scared just hold tight. It’s only scary at first when it starts moving but afterwards it’s fine. I bet we can see your car from up top. Just look for your car. Or maybe we can see your parents down there somewhere.”

Taemin sat down so close and squeezed very tightly. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous”. He laughed nervously. “It’s not like it goes fast. I can do roller coasters we should get off and go on that.” The man shut the door and latched it. I’m not a baby or a girl; I’m a boy a brave big kid. I can do this. It started and jerked forward. “Ah.” His other hand grabbed the side of the bucket. The other like a vice grip on Onew’s hand. It moved slowly forward and up and around.

“See it’s nice it’s not scary. It just jerks forward for a second. You’re good. Wait till everyone gets on and you’ll be fine I promise.” He patted his leg with their clasped hands. It stopped again for the next seat to be filled.

“Ok I’m good. It just startled me that’s all. Ah!.” It stared back up again. “Sorry.” He blushed.

“Don’t be sorry.” It slowed for the next group to get on. “Here I’ll look down and tell you when it’s going to start up again. Trust me we aren’t going to fall.”

“I trust you.”

“Ok we are going to move again.” He smiled at Taemin.

“Ok that wasn’t that bad.” They started their first full circle around. “It’s windy up here look at your hair.” He laughed at Onew.

“Are you laughing at me? Look at yours. Oh look, look your car. I knew we’d see the parking lot.”

“Oh cool.” Taemin forgot about how high it was.

“See you didn’t even notice we are at the very top. You’re so brave Taeminie. Look there is your mom. She’s in line for the carrousel I don’t see your dad though. I guess he might behind that one person. At least we know where to meet them after we get off of here. This is fun.”

“This is fun. We should ask my mom if we can play games next.”

“I’ll win you the biggest stuff animal ever ok. Just for you. And you’ll have to keep it forever.”

“Deal.”