I was in my car, driving away from this place.

I finally said it. The actual words, out loud, to her face.

It was a relief, not carrying it around anymore.

She loved me. I didn’t need to hear her say it out loud; I knew it in the way she looked at me just then.

But now what? If she loved me and I loved her, what did we do now, when there were so many people in between us?

How could I ever get to her?

Can I just grab her hand and run away?

 I believed she’d come with me. If I asked her, I believed she really might come.

But where would we even go?

Would they forgive us? Yong, Eomma and Appa.

And if I really did take her away, where would I be taking her?

Behind those doubts and worries there’s still a sign of regret.

If I had told her a year ago, a month ago, even a week ago, would things be different now?

It was the day before her wedding. In twenty-four hours, she would be married to my brother.

Why did I wait so long?

~~

None of the cars were parked in the driveway, so I thought I was alone—but then there was Taeyeon noona sitting on the front porch. Well I guess she arrived with Teuk Hyung

“Where is everybody?” I asked her.

“Well, a nice way to say hello.” She said sarcastically. “They went sailing.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?”

“I don’t want.” Noona eyed me. “I need to talk to you.”

I eyed her back. “About what?”

She pointed at the chair next to hers. “Come sit down first.”

I sat.

“What did you say to Seo last night?”

I said, “What did she tell you?”

“Nothing. But I can tell something’s wrong. I know she was crying last night. Her eyes were completely swollen this morning. I would bet money that she was crying because of you. Again. Nice one, Kyu.”

I felt my chest tighten. “It’s none of your business.”

Taeyeon glared at me. “Seohyun is my friend, our maknae. Of course it’s my business. I’m warning you, Kyuhyun. Leave her alone. You’re confusing her. Again.”

I started to stand up. “Are we done?”

“No.”

I sat down again.

“Do you have any idea how badly you’ve hurt her, over and over again? You treated her like a toy that you just pick up and play with whenever you like. You’re like a little boy. Someone else took what were yours and you ‘ll do everything just to get it back?”

I exhaled. “That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

She bit her lip. “Seohyun told me that a part of her will always love you. Are you still trying to tell me you don’t care?”

She said that?

“I never said I didn’t care.”

“You’re probably the only one who could stop her from going though with this wedding. But you’d better be damn sure you still want her, because if you don’t, you’re just ing up their lives for no reason. Don’t up my friend’s life, Kyuhyun. Don’t be an evil, selfish bastard like usual. Be the good guy she says you are. Let her go.”

Be the good guy she says you are.

I thought I could do it, fight for her till the end, and not think about anyone else. Just grab her hand and run. But if I did that, wouldn’t I be proving Seohyun’s wrong? I wasn’t a good guy. I would be a selfish bastard just like Taeng noona said. But I would have Seohyun next to me.

Call me Selfish but I still want her

 

~--------~

 

After dinner was over, Yong and Seohyun and all their friends went to the mall for ice cream.

My dad and Seohyun’s dad went to their hotel. It was just Auntie Hyun and me back at the house. I was on my way up to my room, but Auntie Hyun stopped me and said, “Hey, let’s have a Soju, Kyu. I think we deserve it, don’t you?”

Auntie Hyun is also like my Mom. She doesn’t always nag. She’s our friend, bestfriend.

We sat at the kitchen table with our Soju. “To … what should we toast to?”

“What else? To the happy couple.”

Without looking at me, Auntie Hyun said, “How are you doing?”

“Good,” I said. “Great.”

“Come on. This is your Kim Leehyun you’re talking to. Tell me. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly? It’s killing me.”

Auntie looked back at me. “I’m sorry.

I know you love her a lot. This must be really hard on you.”

I could feel it coming up in my chest, behind my eyes. I was going to cry in front of her.

It was the way she said it, it was like my mom right there, knew without me having to tell her.

Aunt took my hand and clasped it in hers. I tried to pull it away, but she held on tighter. “We’ll get through it tomorrow, I promise. It’ll be you and me” Squeezing my hand, she said, “Gosh, I miss your mom.”

“Nado”

“We really need her right now, don’t we?”

I bowed my head and started to cry.

~------~

SEOHYUN

I wanted to talk to Yonghwa that night, but when I started to follow him upstairs, Taeng Unnie said to me. “Uh-uh. It’s bad luck.”

So I’d gone to my room, and he’d gone to his.

It was too hot. I couldn’t sleep. I kept looking at the alarm clock. One o’clock, two o’clock.

Tomorrow I would become Cho Joohyun not Seohyun.

It was what I always wanted. And I’d ruined it. Or rather, I was about to ruin it.

I had to tell the truth. I couldn’t marry Yonghwa  tomorrow like this, not with a secret between us.

When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I go to his room. He was asleep, but I shook him awake. “I need to talk to you,” I said.

Half-asleep he said “Isn’t it bad luck?”

“I don’t care.”

Yonghwa sat up. “What’s up?”

“Let’s talk outside,” I said.

We went down to the porch and sat on the chair.

I said, quietly, “Last night Kyuhyun told me he still has feelings for me.”

I could feel his body stiffened beside me. I waited for him to speak, and when he didn’t, I went on.

“Of course I told him I didn’t feel the same way. I wanted to tell you sooner, but then I thought it would be a mistake, that I should keep it to myself—”

“I’m going to kill him,” he said, and hearing those words coming out of his mouth shocked me.

He stood up.

I tried to pull him back down next to me, but he resisted. I pleaded, “Yong, no. Don’t. Please just sit here and talk to me.”

“Why are you protecting him?”

“I’m—I’m not. I’m not.”

He looked down at me. “Are you marrying me to forget him?”

“No,” I said, and it came out more like a gasp. “No.”

“The thing is, Hyun, I don’t believe you,” Yonghwa said. “I see the way you look at him. I don’t think you’ve ever looked at me like that. Not even once.”

I grabbed his hand but he pulled away.

I was breathing hard when I said, “That’s not true, Yong. It’s not true at all. What I feel for him is all memories. That’s it. It has nothing to do with us. It’s all in the past now. Can’t we just forget the past and make our own future?”

He said, “Is it the past? I know you saw him. I know you guys were together here.”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

“Say something. Go ahead, try to deny it.”

“Nothing happened between us, Yong. I promise you. I didn’t even know he was gonna be here. The only reason I didn’t tell you was—”

What was it? Why didn’t I tell him? Why couldn’t I think of a reason?

“I didn’t want you to be upset over nothing.”

“If it was nothing, you would have told me about it. Instead you kept it a secret. After all that stuff you said to me about trust, you kept that to yourself. I felt like for what I did with ShinHye and you and I weren’t even together when it happened.”

I felt sick inside. “How long have you know?”

“Does it matter?” he snapped.

“Yes, to me it does.”

Yonghwa started to back away from me. “I’ve known since it happened. Kyuhyun hyung mentioned he saw you, he thought I already knew. Do you know how stupid I felt?”

“I can imagine,” I whisper.

“Why didn’t you say something?” I asked him.

“I was waiting for you to tell me. And you never did.”

“I’m sorry.” It was stupid. My heart was beating so fast.

 “I’ve got to get out of here,” he said at last. “I need to think.”

“Can I come with you?”

“No,” he firmly said.

He left, and I didn’t try to follow him.

I couldn’t feel my legs. I couldn’t feel my body.

Was this happening? Was this real? It didn’t feel real.

 

~--------~

It was like any other morning in the Beach. Except that I was getting married.

The only thing was, I had no idea where Yonghwa had gone or if he was even coming back.

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” I said, trying to fix my hair.

The door opened. It was my mother.

She was already dressed. She was wearing a suit jacket and linen pants and was carrying a yellow envelope.

I recognized it right away: Auntie MinJi’s (a/nKyuhyun and Yonghwa’s Mom) personal stationery.

My mother closed the door behind her. “Do you want me to help?” she asked.

I handed her the curling iron. She set down the letter on my dresser. She stood behind me, and start fixing my hair “Did Tiffany do your makeup? It looks nice.”

“Yeah, she did. Thanks. You look really nice too.”

“I’m not ready for this,” she said.

She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me in the mirror. “This isn’t what I wanted for you. But I’m here. This is your wedding day. My only daughter.”

I reached over my shoulder and took her hand. She squeezed my hand tight, so tight it hurt.

I wanted to confess that things were a mess, that I didn’t even know where Yonghwa was or if I would be getting married after all.

“Thank you, Eomma.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. She looked over toward my window. “Do you think the weather will be fine?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

“Well, if worst comes to worst, we’ll move the wedding inside..” Then she handed me the letter. “ MinJi wanted you to have this on your wedding day.”

My mother kissed me on the top of my head and walked out of the room.

I picked up the letter, ran my fingers along my name, written in Auntie’s smooth cursive. Then I put it back down on the dresser. Not yet.

There was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” I asked.

“Yesung.”

“Come in.”

The door opened, and Yesung Oppa came in, closing it behind him. He was wearing the white linen shirt and khaki shorts all the groomsmen were wearing. “Hey,” he said, sitting down on my bed. “Your hair looks nice.”

“Is he back?”

Oppa hesitate.

“Just tell me, Oppa.”

“No. He’s not back. Kyuhyun went off to find him. He thinks he knows where Yong went.”

I let out a breath. I was relieved, but at the same time—what would Yonghwa do when he saw Kyuhyun?

What if it only made things worse?

“He’s going to call as soon as he finds him.”

I nodded, and then picked up the curling iron again.

My fingers trembled.

“Did you tell Mom anything?” Yesung oppa asked.

“No. I haven’t told anybody. “He’ll be here. I know he will.”

“Yeah,” Yesung Oppa said. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. Do you want me to stay with you?”

I shook my head. “I need to get ready.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Just let me know as soon as you hear something.”

Yesung Oppa stood up. “I will.” Then he came over and patted my shoulder awkwardly. “Everything’s going to work out, Seohyun.”

“Yup, I know it will. Don’t worry about me. Just find Yong.”

My hand was shaking. I would probably burn myself if I didn’t give it a rest. My hair was curled enough anyway.

He was coming back. He was coming back. I knew he was.

And then, because there was nothing left to do, I put on my wedding dress.

 “Why are you already in your dress? There’s still lot of time before the wedding. Take it off. It’s going to get all wrinkly.”

When I didn’t answer her, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Yonghwa isn’t here,” I said.

“Well, of course he isn’t here. It’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony.”

“He’s not at home. He left last night, and he hasn’t come back. I told him everything.”

Her eyes bulged. “What do you mean everything?”

“The other day, Kyuhyun told me he still has feelings for me. And last night, I told Yonghwa.” I took out a breathe. These past couple of days had felt like weeks. I didn’t even know when or how it all happened. How things got so confused. It was jumbling up in my mind, my heart.

“Oh my God,” Yoona unnie said, covering with her hands. She sank down onto the bed. “What are we going to do?”

“Kyuhyun went looking for him.” I was looking out the window again. \I came away from the window and started ping my dress.

Startled, she said, “What are you doing?”

“You said it’s going to wrinkle, remember?” I stepped out of the dress, and it slipped to the floor, . And then I picked it up and put it on a hanger.

Yoong put my robe over my shoulders “It’s going to be okay, Seohyun.”

Someone knocked on the door, and both our eyes flew over to it. “It’s Yesung Oppa,” my brother said, opening it.

He came in and shut the door behind him. “Kyuhyun got him back.”

I sank onto the floor and let out a big gust of air. “He’s back,” I repeated.

Yesung Oppa said, “He’s showering, and then he’ll be dressed and ready to go.”

 “Your hand is cold,” she said, warming it with her other hand. Then she said, “Do you still want to do this? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I had been so scared he wasn’t going to go come back. Now that he was here, all the fear and panic were rising up to the surface.

Yesung Oppa sat next to me and Yoona on the floor. He put his arm around me, and he said, “Seohyun. Take this however you want to take it, okay? I have five words for you. Are you ready?”

I opened my eyes and nodded.

 “Say Yes or go home.”

“What the hell does that even mean, Yesung Oppa?” Yoona snapped.

“Geez.” I stood up. “What time is it?”

Yesung Oppa pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “It’s two o’clock. We still have a couple of hours before people get here.”

Taking a deep breath, I said, “Okay. Yesung Oppa, will you go tell Mom I think we should move the wedding inside?

“I’ll get the other guys on it,” he said.

“Thanks, Oppa. And Unnie, will you—”

Hopefully, she asked, “Stay and fix your makeup?”

“No. I was going to ask if you could get out too. I need to think.”

Exchanging looks, the two of them go out of my room, and I shut the door behind them.

As soon as I saw him, everything would make sense again. It had to.

~---------~

I woke up that morning to Yesung shaking my bed. “Have you seen Yong?” he demanded.

“I was asleep,” I muttered, my eyes still closed. “How could I have seen him?”

Yesung stopped shaking the bed and sat down on the edge. “He’s gone, man. I can’t find him anywhere, and he left his phone. What the hell happened last night?”

I sat up. Seohyun must have told him. “I don’t know,”

I said, rubbing my eyes.

“What are we gonna do?”

This was my entire fault.

I got out of bed and said, “Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll look for him. Don’t tell Seohyun anything.”

Looking relieved, he said, “Sounds good. But shouldn’t Seohyun know? I don’t want her to get ready and everything if he’s not coming.”

“If I’m not back in an hour, you can tell her then.” I threw off my T-shirt and put on the white linen shirt Yong had made us all buy.

“Where are you going?” Yesung asked me. “Maybe I should go with you.”

“No, you stay here and take care of her. I’ll find him.”

“So you know where he is, then?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said.

 I didn’t have a clue where that bastard was. I just knew I had to fix this.

On my way out, Auntie Hyun stopped me and said, “Have you seen Yong? I need to give him something.”

“He went out to get something for the wedding,” I said. “I’m going to meet him now. I’ll give it to him.”

She handed me an envelope. I recognized the paper right away. It was my mom’s stationery. Yong’s name was written on the front in her handwriting. Smiling, Auntie Hyun said, “You know, I think it might be nicer this way, coming from you. Your Mom would like that, don’t you think?”

I went to the mall he isn’t there.

I drove around the mall parking lot. No car and no Yong. I couldn’t find him anywhere, and my hour was almost up.

Yesung was going to tell Seohyun, and then this would be just one more time I messed up her life.

What if Yong had left completely? He could be back in Japan.

Then it came to me—the garden. Maybe Yong had gone to the garden. It was worth a try. I called Yesung on the way over.

“I think I know where he is. Don’t tell Seohyun anything yet.”

“All right. But if I don’t hear from you in half an hour, I’m telling her.”

We hung up, I saw his car right away. I felt relief.

What rights did I have to say anything to him? I was the one who was responsible for this mess.

Yong was sitting on a bench by the garden, his head in his hands. He was still in last night’s clothes. His head snapped up when he heard me coming. “I’m warning you. Don’t come near me right now.”

I kept walking. When I was standing right in front of him, I said, “Come back to the house with me.”

 “ you.”

“You’re supposed to be getting married in a couple of hours. We don’t have time to do this right now. Just hit me. If it’ll make you feel better.” I tried to pick up his arm but he shoved it away.

“No, it’ll make you feel better. You don’t deserve to feel better. I want to beat the out of you”

“Then do it,” I said. “And then let’s go. Seohyun’s waiting for you. Don’t make her wait on her wedding day.”

“Shut up!” he yelled.

“Come on. Please. I’m begging you.”

“Why? Because you still love her, right?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “What I want to know is, if you still had feelings for her, I did the right thing. I didn’t go behind your back. I asked you You told me you were over her.”

“You weren’t exactly asking for my permission but because I trusted you to take care of her and treat her right. Then you go ahead and cheat on her on Jeju during spring break. So maybe I should be the one asking if you love her or not.”

 As soon as I got the last word out, Yong’s fist slams on my face, hard.

I step backward. “Good,” I gasped. “Can we get out of here now?”

He punched me again. This time I fell to the ground.

“Shut up!” he yelled. “Don’t talk to me about who loves Seohyun more. I’ve always loved her. Not you. You treated her like a trash. You left her so many times. You’re a coward. Even now, you can’t admit it.”

Breathing hard, I spat out a mouthful of blood and said, “Fine. I love her. I admit it. Sometimes—sometimes I think she’s the only girl I could ever be with. But Yong, she picked you. You’re the one she wants to marry. Not me.”

I pulled the envelope out of my pocket, stumbled up, and pushed it at his chest. “Read this. It’s for you, from Mom. For your wedding day.”

Swallowing, open the envelope. I watched him as he read, hoping, knowing, my mom would have the right words. She always knew what to say to Yonghwa

Yong started to cry as he read, and I turned my head away.

“I’m going back,” he finally said. “But not with you. You’re not my brother anymore. You’re dead to me. I don’t want you in my life. I want you gone.”

“Yong—”

 “I hope you said everything you needed to say to her. Because after this, you’re never gonna see her again or me. It’s over.” He handed me the letter.

“This is yours, not mine.”

Then he left.

I sat on the bench and opened the paper up.

It said, Dear Kyuhyun.

And then I started to cry too.

 

 

 

 

~~-------------------------------------------~~

Hiho :-h A hell long chapter -.- I've made this for like a week ? Yea.

So sorry if you thought this is a Flashback. But no the next Chapter will be. I PROMISE~

This time I'm saying the truth. :)

Well, for some parts of this story credits goes to Jissy Han =)) Kekeke Kamsa :* She said to put that to my story.

Oh one more thing. PLEASE Imagine that Yong's surname is Cho :))))))) It's important keke ;))

And yea. The ending is just arounf the corner ~ ;) 

ANOTHER POSTER =))))) IT WILL BE LAST FOR THIS STORY~ Kekekeke.

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