∞

Late the next morning, Yuri and Tiffany went into mall to pick up some last-minute things. I stayed behind because I didn't feel well. The boys were all still asleep, which was a good thing. I didn’t know what I would or wouldn’t say to Yonghwa.

These feelings was eating me up inside.

Would it be selfish of me not to say anything?

I ran into Kyuhyun on my way out of my room, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I heard his car leave soon after. I didn’t know where he’d gone, but I hoped he’d stay far away from me.

I found myself wishing that either he or I wasn’t here.

I couldn’t leave because I was the one getting married—but I wished he would. It would make things easier. 

It was a selfish thought, I knew.

It was half Kyuhyun’s house, after all.

After I’d clean my room, I went down to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. I thought I was safe, I thought he was still out.

But there he was, eating a sandwich himself.

As soon as he saw me, Kyuhyun put down his sandwich

"Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“I’m about to go” I said, looking somewhere of over his shoulder, anywhere but at him. “Wedding stuffs.”

I started to walk away, but he followed me out of the house

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Will you do me a favor? Will you just forget everything I said?” He flashed a smile. 
I wanted to take away the smile off his face. “I was out of my mind last night, drunk off my . Being here again, it just brought back a lot of stuff. But it’s all a history. I know that. Honestly, I can barely remember what I said, but I’m sure that whatever it was, it was out of line. I’m really sorry.”

For a moment I felt anger. 

I'm speechless.

I found it was hard to catch my breath.

I hadn’t slept all-night before; instead, thinking over every word he said to me. I felt so stupid.

And to think, just for a second, just for a moment, I had imagined what it would be like, if I was marrying him and not Yonghwa.

I hated him for that.

“You weren’t drunk,” I said.

“Yeah, I really was.” This time he gave me an apologetic smile.

I ignored it. “You brought up all that the weekend of my wedding, and now you want me to just ‘forget it’? You’re sick. Don’t you get that you can’t play with people like that?”

Kyuhyun’s smile faded. “Hold on a second. Seo—”

“Don’t say my name.” I backed away from him. “Don’t even think it. In fact, don’t ever speak to me again.”

Again with the ironic smile, he said, “Well, that would be kind of hard, considering the fact that you’re marrying my brother.

“Just leave.”

His eye twitched. “I’m not leaving.”

“Go,” I said, shoving him, hard. “Just go.”

His voice cracking, he said, “What did you expect me to say to you, Joohyun-aa?”

“Stop saying my name!” I screamed.

“What do you want from me?” he yelled back. “I laid myself ing bare last night! I put it all out there, and you shut me down. I get that I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff to you. But now here I am trying to fix this and find a way to be what its like before with this little pride i have so I can look you in the eye when this is all over, and you won’t even let me have that. You broke my heart last night, all right? Is that what you want to hear?”

I said, “You really are heartless.”

“No, I think you’re the one who’s heartless” he said.

He was already walking away as I called out, “What is that supposed to mean?”

 I walked up right behind and tugged his arm toward me so we were facing each other.

“Tell me what you meant by that.”

“You know what it means.” Kyuhyun jerked away from me. “I still love you. I never stopped. I think you know it. I think you’ve known it all along.”

I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. “That’s not true.”

“Don’t lie.”

I shook my head again.

“Have it your way. But I’m not going to pretend for you anymore.” With that, he walked jumped down on the remaining steps and jump to his car.

My heart was pounding a million trillion times a minute. I never felt more alive. Anger, sadness, joy. He made me feel it all. No one else had that kind of effect on me. No one.

 It was my own fault, really. I couldn’t let go of Kyuhyun, and I couldn’t walk away from Yonghwa.

Where did that leave me?

I was getting married tomorrow. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking this way.

If I did it, if I chose Kyuhun, I could never go back.

Some things you can’t take back. How was I supposed to say good-bye to of all those things?

I couldn’t. And what about our families?

What would happen to my mother? To everyone? It would destroy us. I couldn’t do that.

I couldn’t give all that up, just for this. Just for Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun, who told me he loved me. At last, he said the words.

When Cho Kyuhyun told a girl he loved her, he meant it.

A girl could believe in that. I couldn’t give all that up, just for this. Just for Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun, who told me he loved me. At last, he said the words.

When Cho Kyuhyun told a girl he loved her, he meant it. A girl could believe in that. A girl could maybe even bet her life on it.

That was what I would be doing. I would be betting my life on him.

And I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t.

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Hello :) Sorry for the delayed update :))

I'm having Algebra Class. -.- Soyeah. Fourth Chapter. This is just a bridge for the flashbacks that on Chapter 6 and 7.

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