[29 - MONDAY]

SiWon woke up with his head hurting. He realized that he had slept onto his phone and groaned. With a sigh he got up and made himself ready for school.

On his way SiWon remembered that he had wanted to call HeeChul yesterday. He had forgotten and fallen asleep. SiWon cursed silently.

When he was in school, he greeted his friends quickly before the lesson started. SiWon's gaze fell on HeeChul. He looked sad. It made SiWon sad as well.

SiWon didn't spoke until it was finally lunch break. He had tried to figure out what was wrong but couldn't find a reason.

"What's wrong, SiWonnie?" LeeTeuk asked in concern.

SiWon just shrugged and murmured a "Nothing."

"Oh, come on, you can tell us everything," YeSung announced with a smile.

"Maybe he broke up with SiWon," DongHae thought out loud and RyeoWook added. "I haven't seen them together these past days."

"Yeah, you're right, Wookie. So what happened, SiWonnie?" KyuHyun asked, almost a smirk on his face.

SiWon sighed once more. "I already said: Nothing," he stated but his eyes searched for HeeChul. He missed him. He missed his voice and his warmth. A few days had passed without him spending his time with HeeChul now.

To SiWon's big surprise, HeeChul wasn't sitting on his usual table. In fact, he wasn't there at all. SiWon immediately wondered where he was and took out his phone.

He quickly texted him.

'Where are you? I miss you. And by the way I'm sorry because of Hae'

SiWon thought about adding some more but decided against it in the end. He send the text message to HeeChul and waited.

SiWon felt his friends' gazes on him but ignored them.

After a couple of minutes, SiWon received a message from HeeChul.

'I don't mind the thing with him. I'm on the roof top of the school. And please stop fooling around with me. I hate how cruel you can be. Just...let us end it. ...Let's break up.'

SiWon stared at his phone in shock. Why did HeeChul want to break up with him? He looked around as if that would help him to find a solution.

"What's wrong? Why so shocked? Something wrong with HeeChul and you?" LeeTeuk asked worried upon seeing SiWon's expression change so drastically.

"W-Where is the roof top? How do I get there?" SiWon wanted to know quickly and looked at KyuHyun, expecting him to be the quickest to reply.

"Students aren't allowed to go there," KyuHyun told SiWon with a curious face, wanting to know the reason why SiWon had asked first.

"I don't care," SiWon's voice turned almost into a scream because he was so nervous and scared to lose HeeChul. "So?"

"Go there and then up the stairs until you reach the top. There is no door or anything anyway. It's easy to find," YeSung suddenly said with a smile. SiWon wondered if YeSung knew it was about HeeChul and why he was still helping him. SiWon's expression reflected confusion and Yesung whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry. You're right. We're friends and I want you to be happy, so go to him. It's HeeChul who's there waiting, right?" YeSung patted him on his shoulder and SiWon nodded with a thankful smile before he left and followed YeSung's explanation.

SiWon ran upstairs as fast as he could. Finally he realized that HeeChul felt neglected by him. And SiWon also knew that if they would break up only one more time, there was no chance to get back together because then SiWon would have lost HeeChul's trust and HeeChul wasn't the type of guy who was able to trust people easily. HeeChul needed time and for SiWon it was lucky enough that they were already together. Maybe it was all because HeeChul had been hurt too much in his life. He was too vulnerable. SiWon just hoped it wasn't too late by now.

SiWon reached the top. HeeChul stood there, looking with empty eyes far away.

"HeeChul," SiWon whispered and embraced him from behind. HeeChul didn't react.

"I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. HeeChul, I'm sorry I had been busy all the time," SiWon apologized silently into the other's ear, holding him tightly.

He heard HeeChul swallow. "SiWonnie...I forgive you, but I don't know if I can still trust you," he said and SiWon's heart sank.

"You know I like you, but I want someone I can be honest with. I want someone who stays by my side for once. Someone who always loves me. Someone who can show me love and make me happy. Someone I can have dreams with and hope. I want someone to trust," HeeChul explained quietly, still not moving. " I don't want to get hurt like before ever again. I don't want to suffer all alone. I know how amazing you are, SiWon, but I don't know if you can be that someone."

While HeeChul had been talking, SiWon had let go of him. Now he was looking down, avoiding HeeChul's eyes. Tears threatened to fall from SiWon's eyes for the first time because now he was standing on the edge all by himself. He could lose HeeChul right now. If he hadn't already lost him.

"I-I-I'm so-sorry," SiWon stuttered, trying not to sob but failed. So he just shut his mouth, unable to say anything else.

HeeChul turned around. He lifted SiWon's face up and forced him to met eyes with HeeChul.

By now, tears were falling and SiWon hurried to wipe them away but it didn't help. Suddenly he couldn't control his feelings. His heart was breaking. "P-Please don't...don't leave me, HeeChul. I-I don't want to lose you. I ca-can't lose y-you...," SiWon sobbed and more tears fell down his cheeks.

"SiWon. SiWon calm down. Hey, SiWon, stop crying," HeeChul told him but SiWon couldn't help his tears.

HeeChul wiped SiWon's tears away but the old tears were quickly replaced by some new.

"SiWonnie!" HeeChul whined helplessly. He didn't know what to do.

SiWon closed his eyes. "HeeChul...stay with me. Don't break up with me," he pleaded, now trying to finally calm down but nothing helped. The fear of losing HeeChul was too big. SiWon was already too deep into it. He loved HeeChul already too much.

All of a sudden, SiWon felt soft lips on top of his, kissing him gently. Just the kiss was enough to shock SiWon that much that he stopped crying. His eyes were wide open and looked directly at HeeChul's pretty face. These lips were too much. SiWon closed his eyes again and concentrated on the kiss. He felt HeeChul's tongue over his lower lip and SiWon opened his mouth without his will. He just surrendered to HeeChul and his kissing skills. Slowly HeeChul explored SiWon's hot cavern.

Carefully, HeeChul backed away and smiled slightly. "I don't know why but I'll give you one more chance. Please don't hurt me or neglect me anymore," he whispered silently and SiWon's eyes were sparkling with happiness. "Thank you so much," he murmured against HeeChul's neck while he hugged him with relief.

HeeChul smiled a warm smile and wiped the tears away once more but this time they didn't come back.

SiWon sat down on a small bench that was there and put HeeChul on his lap. SiWon put his arms around HeeChul's waist to hold him while the other one wrapped his arms loosely around SiWon's neck.

"SiWonnie...because of your friends...," HeeChul started uncertainly and SiWon sighed. "I'm sorry for Saturday. I didn't know what got into them and-," SiWon said, panic built up inside of him because he didn't want to hurt HeeChul anymore. He should have protected him better.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I just wanted to ask if they know about you being gay and with...with someone like me," HeeChul explained and SiWon sighed once more. "Yes, they know."

"Do they hate you now?" HeeChul asked with worry and SiWon chuckled. HeeChul looked cute when he was worried, he noticed but answered as well. "No, they don't. Kyu, Min, Teukie and I guess YeSung as well have already accepted us and are okay with me and you, and Hae and Wookie just need some more time," SiWon told HeeChul who nodded. "I'm so sorry for that," he murmured and SiWon stared at him. "Why are you sorry? For what? , HeeChul, I'm sorry but you have no reason to be," SiWon exclaimed and HeeChul closed his eyes and nuzzled his head into SiWon's chest.

SiWon held him tight and kissed his head. "Do you want to meet me after school as well? We could pick up your daughter and then go to the zoo, hm?" SiWon suggested. "Or I could introduce you to my friends so you and they learn to get along with each other, okay?"

HeeChul shook his head and looked up. "No, I don't think me meeting your friends after school will turn out well. But I'd be happy if you accompany me to the kindergarten. What I'll do in the afternoon, well, for that we have to ask Chin-Sun. You have to tell your ideas to her," HeeChul said with a smile and SiWon nodded. "Thanks for everything," SiWon said and suddenly he remembered it was only lunch break. He looked at his watch and realized they were already late for class.

", HeeChul, the lesson has already started," SiWon stated and HeeChul jumped up. He wanted to go down but was held back by SiWon's hand around his wrist. HeeChul looked back in surprise and also confusion and SiWon's hand sank down to intertwine their fingers. He smiled a warm smile and HeeChul immediately returned it. Satisfied, they both walked back to class were they, before they entered the room, let go of each other.

"Wait," HeeChul said just before SiWon wanted to open the door. "What?" He was suprised and confused as of why HeeChul stopped him.

"I think, it'll be better if you go first and I'll come in in about five minutes, so that we won't come in together, hm?" HeeChul suggested.

SiWon looked at him in even more confusion and HeeChul explained. "I don't want the other students to tell rumours about you with me or anything. I know, you care for your friends and your reputation, too. So it'll be okay. Now go to class and tell you have been talking with another teacher. Say you had some questions to the stuff you have to learn. After all, it's harder for you because you're still kind of new here," he said and shoved SiWon gently towards the door while he turned around and went quickly away.

SiWon was stunned. Before he had the chance to protest, HeeChul was already gone. He sighed and knocked at the door, then opened it. He said his reason for being late just as what HeeChul had told him and the teacher nodded understandingly. "It's okay, SiWon. I understand it's difficult for you at the beginning. Then please take your seat," he said and SiWon smiled gladly while he went to sit next to KyuHyun.

"So? What was wrong with you anyway?" he asked curiously.

SiWon smiled. "Everything's fine again," he told KyuHyun.

"So it was about...him?" KyuHyun wanted to know and SiWon hesitated, nodded eventually and KyuHyun smirked. "Are you two happy then?"

SiWon nodded with a big grin. "Yes," he whispered proudly and KyuHyun nodded as well.

"So you and Min are happy, too, right?" SiWon asked just to change the subject because he still wasn't sure how deep it was with HeeChul and him and he didn't want to say anything that actually wasn't.

It knocked at the door and HeeChul entered. "I'm sorry, I had to go home in the lunch break and just came back now. I had been a little bit busy at home," he explained and the teacher sighed. "Yeah, of course," he said and rolled his eyes. HeeChul went to his seat and sat down.

"So, because you spend this break home, you'll spent an extra lesson here tomorrow and write about the time when class starts and ends and why it's like that, understood? Tomorrow then," he announced and HeeChul just nodded, obviously not interested that he should stay the next day after school.

SiWon felt sorry for him because he had been too late as well but due to his excuse or more likely HeeChul's, he didn't need to stay longer the next day.

The teacher continued with his lesson and SiWon tried to look to HeeChul. He wanted to know if HeeChul was angry now but HeeChul seemed to smile while he looked out the window.

SiWon smiled as well and thought about this afternoon when he and HeeChul wanted to go to the zoo. That was going to be great but SiWon was a little unhappy that it was so rare that he and HeeChul were alone on a date or anything but SiWon didn't want to complain. He was already happy enough that HeeChul gave him one more chance. He really would be better now.

"Kyu, is it okay when I'll go with...you know...HeeChul...after school?" SiWon asked because he didn't want to make his friends even more angry and he thought that it would be best to let KyuHyun say this to the others because he was after all okay with him and HeeChul.

"Hm, I'll tell them," KyuHyun said with a shrug and SiWon thanked him. He looked over to HeeChul once more and a big smile was playing on his lips. SiWon was kind of nervous but he was sure Chin-Sun would agree happily.

---

Finally the teacher ended the lesson and SiWon gave HeeChul a sign to hurry up while he waved at his friends who didn't know yet that he was leaving with HeeChul. And SiWon would be happier if they didn't know when he was still with them because he didn't want them to get angry and stop him.

"What's the matter? Why are you in such a hurry?" HeeChul asked while he ran to keep up with SiWon.

SiWon chuckled and as soon as they couldn't see the school building anymore, he slowed down in his steps. "Sorry. It's nothing. I just don't want my friends to get angry," he explained and HeeChul smiled. "Oh, it's okay," he said and they went to the kindergarten in silence. SiWon didn't know if it was awkward or not. It was weird but he didn't know what he should say, nonetheless it was actually comfortable just to be with HeeChul.

SiWon was too afraid to take HeeChul's hand right here but he still looked at him with a smile. HeeChul noticed it and returned the look with love in his eyes and SiWon realized just how lucky he was. HeeChul had to like him a lot because he gave him this second chance and SiWon was more than relieved to know that the feeling really were mutual.

They arrived at the kindergarten and waited in front of it while all the kids ran out to be greeted by their parents.

Eventually, Chin-Sun came as well. She wasn't running and not even smiling. Her head hang low but then she lifted it up to look for her Appa. She saw him standing there and finally started to run, too. She ignored SiWon completly and HeeChul lifted her up while she clung to his chest. She was crying.

"Hey, my princess, why are you crying?" HeeChul asked worried but Chin-Sun didn't answer. HeeChul looked at SiWon, sighing silently and went into the building in front of them to ask what had happened while he tried to calm down his daughter.

SiWon waited outside, hoping that nothing really bad had happened.

After a while, HeeChul returned. By now, Chin-Sun had stopped to cry and just burried her face into HeeChul.

"Someone had taken away her favourite pillow, so she yelled at the kid and the kid hit her. But not hard," HeeChul told SiWon with a shrug, chuckling lightly. "Baby, SiWonnie's here. Say hello to him. You like him, right?" HeeChul said to his daughter and finally she looked up to SiWon. "Hello," she murmured and smiled slightly then turned to HeeChul once again. "Your boyfriend, right, Appa?" she asked and HeeChul blushed. "Chin-Sun, stop it. He's..." HeeChul thought hard about what he could tell his daughter because he wasn't quiet sure if SiWon was already his boyfriend and in addition he didn't want his daughter to think to be gay was good. Of course HeeChul had told her already that it was okay to love someone from the same but he didn't want for Chin-Sun to be gay, too because that was sometimes hard to live with.

While HeeChul was still thinking, SiWon gathered his courage to speak up. It wad easier with Chin-Sun around because she liked him and SiWon didn't have to be afraid that HeeChul would reject him easily.

"Chin-Sun, I'm not his boyfriend. He's my wife," SiWon announced jokingly with a grin and Chin-Sun looked at him confused. "So you are my Appa? And that's Umma?" she asked and pointed at HeeChul who was blushing even more and SiWon nodded. "Yes."

"Umma, you like Appa very much, right? I like him very much, too. I want to go somewhere with Umma and Appa," Chin-Sun announced and SiWon laughed at Chin-Sun's cuteness while HeeChul just sighed. "Yes...Chin-Sun is right. And we wanted to take you to the zoo today, hm?" HeeChul told his daughter who smiled brightly.

"YES," she exclaimed and struggled, so that HeeChul would let her down and she was able to jump around in anticipation.

They made their way to HeeChul's home first to leave their school bags there and get money, before they left again to go to the zoo.

Chin-Sun was jumping up and down happily and finally they arrived at the zoo at the end of the city.

HeeChul and SiWon paid and then they started to walk around the place.

Chin-Sun was happily running after some goat in the children's zoo while HeeChul and SiWon were watching from outside.

SiWon tore his gaze away from the happy child to look at HeeChul next to him. "She's so cute," he stated smiling and HeeChul nodded with a smile as well. "By the way," he suddenly said, still watching his daughter. "I am the Appa," he told SiWon who started laughing. "Yeah, sure. So I'm the Umma? No way, Chullie. I'm the Appa and you're my wife," SiWon declared. He felt confident enough to say this because now he knew that HeeChul had to love him, too. He wasn't that afraid of rejection anymore and he used his confidence.

HeeChul rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat. "Whatever," he muttured and SiWon smiled even more when he realized he had won.

Finally HeeChul turned his gaze towards SiWon. He smiled slightly and SiWon looked at him in wonder.

HeeChul's eyes went down to SiWon's hand, silently asking for permission to take it and SiWon noticed it. He chuckled but didn't give his permission for HeeChul. Instead his hand reached for HeeChul's and took it into his own.

HeeChul smiled then and SiWon was happy to feel this warmth again. They broke their eye contact and continued to watch HeeChul's daughter laughing and chasing after some goats.

"Chin-Sun, princess, Appa wants to go," HeeChul announced and to his surprise Chin-Sun looked up at SiWon. "Appa, why is Umma so impatient?" the little girl asked when she had come to them.

SiWon started to laugh loudly while HeeChul sighed. "Hey. I'm not a woman, baby girl. Don't call me Umma. I'm your Appa," he explained and Chin-Sun stared at him. "But you are his wife and I'm your daughter," she said pouting and looked at SiWon for help.

"Ah, cutie, let's go to the lions, hm?" SiWon asked and ruffled her hair lovingly.

Chin-Sun laughed and nodded. "Yes, Appa," she said and started to ran in the right direction.

HeeChul was pouting as well when SiWon looked at him.

"I don't like you," HeeChul announced and SiWon chuckled, squeezing the other's hand.

"Don't be mad at me, my lovely wife," he said and finally HeeChul laughed as well.

", SiWon, this is ridicolous. I'm not your wife," HeeChul declared and SiWon sighed silently. Was HeeChul now angry at him? Maybe SiWon was wrong and HeeChul didn't like him enough to be called wife, SiWon thought sadly and a little bit disappointed but he knew he shouldn't push him. If he needed time for their relationship and everything else, it was okay for SiWon. HeeChul could take his time and SiWon would wait with a smile until he was ready.

"Don't call me your wife again and tell Chin-Sun not to call me like that, too, SiWonnie," HeeChul said and SiWon nodded. "But what should I call you then? What am I to you?" he asked, not angry or anything. He was just asking.

"You're my lover, SiWonnie. But we aren't married...yet," HeeChul said and added the last word quietly with a shy smile and SiWon grinned and embraced HeeChul happily.

It was such a great feeling and SiWon enjoyed every second of the hug but all of a sudden, HeeChul pushed him away.

"Where is Chin-Sun?" he asked shocked and looked around but his daughter was nowhere to be found.

"!" HeeChul hissed and called out for the little girl. "Chin-Sun! Chin-Sun!"

"Damn, that girl. Where did she go?" HeeChul wondered out loud and started to run off into one direction.

"Wait! HeeChul!" SiWon shouted. HeeChul stopped, so SiWon catched up to him. "I think we should go to the lions first," he suggested and HeeChul thought about it for a short time as if he needed that time to process what SiWon was saying. He nodded eventually and they changed the direction.

SiWon and HeeChul reached the enclosure with lions but there was no Chin-Sun.

"This kid! , where is she? Damn, she really can't stay with her Appa for at least one minute without having something to do. Except for when she's sleeping. When she's sleeping, she's the cutest and best child in the world," HeeChul stated and laughed silently along with SiWon.

"We'll find her. Don't worry. I guess, we just go further this way and hope she's somewhere here, okay?" SiWon asked and HeeChul nodded with a sigh.

"Hopefully, she won't do anything stupid," HeeChul said as they continued to walk along the path.

"What stupid things? HeeChul, she's a still a little child," SiWon said and HeeChul looked at him with a smirk. "Of course she is, but she's just too clever for her age. Look, not even that she understands perfectly well about whatever we're talking, she is also interested in many things like life, people and money as well. So I really hope she won't talk to any strangers," HeeChul told SiWon his worry and the other one just nodded. "We'll find her soon," he said and squeezed HeeChul's hand encouragingly before he let him go again.

HeeChul looked up at SiWon, smiling slightly and thanked him.

They walked around until they came to an enclosure with monkeys. They were playing and jumping around, climbing on trees and eating their food but there were three monkeys that took SiWon's attention.

SiWon went closer with HeeChul following him. There were two monkeys. It seemed as if they were hugging each other and there was a small little monkey, their child. It clung to one of the monkeys and the other seemed to caress the monkey with the child.

"Chin-Sun!" HeeChul's voice turned SiWon's attention to him running towards the little child they had been looking for the whole time.

Chin-Sun was standing directly in front of the enclosure and watched the monkey family.

"Appa!" she said and turned around for a brief moment to let HeeChul take her into his arms and lift her up. SiWon chuckled when he saw HeeChul's relieved smile because his daughter called him 'Appa' again.

Chin-Sun turned her gaze towards the monkeys and pointed at those three SiWon had been looking at as well.

"Just like us," she said and added: "There, the monkey with the child is you, Appa. The child is me, of course. And next to us is your boyfriend, SiWonnie," she explained and then laughed while she seemed to think about something else. "Well, the left monkey is probably the Umma, so Appa, you're the Umma," she announced, "and you, SiWonnie, are the Appa there," she declared and SiWon and HeeChul laughed as well.

"Yes, my sweet little princess. But where have you even been? You have to promise me not to run away again, alright?" HeeChul asked and his daughter smiled when she looked at her Appa. "Alright, Appa, I promise," she announced with her sweet voice.

SiWon saw HeeChul who stood a few metres away from him, coming closer and while he was holding Chin-Sun up with one hand, he reached with his free hand for SiWon's arm and put him around his waist. SiWon smiled and pressed HeeChul's body closer to his, Chin-Sun was now half between them, smiling happily and looked at her Appa and then at SiWon with a knowing smirk.

"I'm happy, Appa," she told them and snuggled her head up to HeeChul's chest. She was just too cute.

---

Eventually the night and with it the darkness came slowly and SiWon, HeeChul and Chin-Sun had to leave.

SiWon brought his lover and his daughter home and then went home himself.

He greeted his Umma and Appa, who seemed a little bit annoyed because SiWon was late again. "I'm sorry, Umma, but you know, I'm with my girlfriend and...yeah," he said with a shrug and his Umma sighed. "Yes, I know. I'm really happy for you, SiWon, but I think you can't stay with her everyday for so long. When you won't come home earlier the next day, I'll pick you up from school for at least one week," she told him with a stern expression and SiWon nodded. "Alright. I'm sorry again. I won't be late anymore," he said and she and his father nodded.

"Do you want to eat dinner now?" his father asked. SiWon knew, he should thank him and go to the kitchen to get his food and then come back to sit with them in the living room, but he just wasn't hungry and today, he didn't really care if that would bring him into trouble or not. He shook his head. "I will go to bed now. Good night," he said and his parents wished him a good night as well, although they didn't sound as happy anymore.

SiWon left and changed into his pajama before he fell into his bed and immediately fell asleep. He was so tired. The day had been great but also very exhausting. Funny, this day, SiWon thought, because at first they had almost broke up with each other and now they spent this day happily together.

TBC