I tried to sleep but couldn’t. It just bugs me that Junhyung is.. mad? No he’s not mad. That’s why this is harder. If he’s angry, I can apologise or make up for it. But no. He’s not. He’s acting weird. As if he’s avoiding me. Did my small joke just now disappoint him or something?

I glanced at the clock. Great its already 3am and I can’t sleep. I got up from the bed and walked down to the living room. It was very dark. The only light was from the lampposts outside that lit up the road and shines through the windows. I crept quietly to the couch and saw Junhyung sleeping. I sat infront of the couch, facing him as he was lying on his side. He looks so peaceful and innocent. Unconsciously, I felt a tear flow down from my eyes. Why am I crying? I’m wondering too. But I did.

I placed my crossed arms on the little space on the couch and lay my head on them, looking at his face. The tears just kept flowing and I was lucky enough my sobs weren’t that loud that could wake him up. Junhyung, if I did something that hurt you, I’m very sorry. That joke. Well that joke was quite mean, maybe? I didn’t know you took it to heart. Or if I did say anything else when I was drunk, I’m really sorry. Please. Forgive me.

My eyes fluttered open and I see familiar surroundings. I was in the room. Junhyung’s bedroom. I didn’t even remember getting back to the room. All I remember is I was crying, looking at Junhyung’s sleeping face. Did I walk back to the room but didn’t realized it? Wow.

The house seemed quiet. I don’t hear any bickering or chatting downstairs. Seeing that its already 10 plus, Yoseob had probably gone to college. There was a towel at the end of the bed and I figured Junhyung placed it there for me. I took it and took a quick shower.

I just walked out of the bathroom when my handphone rang.

“Ah Hyerin-ah. Sorry I didn’t go-“

“Its okay unnie. Me and omma know you will surely sleep at Junhyung oppa’s house.” She chuckled. “I’m just calling you to tell you that we have to sleepover at their place for two days because mum got an assignment in Paris and she said its not safe for us to be at home alone.”

“Are you sure Yoseob and Junhyung don’t mind?” I asked.

“Yeah I told Yoseob oppa already. As for Junhyung oppa, I’m sure he would be so glad you’re sleeping over,” she snickered. I’m too sure about that now..

“Arasso. So when are you coming?” I said, changing the subject.

“Yoseob is here to help me with some of our bags. Since you’re already there, well, just stay there.” She laughed.

We ended the conversation and I went to the kitchen. Apparently Yoseob and Hyerin have a month of study break.

I went down the stairs and Junhyung was going up. It was so awkward when we couldn’t decide who to go which direction. Usually we would fight playfully or push each other out of the way. This time he just smiled and stepped aside, for me to walk pass first. Yes its gentleman of him. Yes its one of the criteria I’m looking for. But I don’t want him to be like this. We’re not like this.

I walked passed him glumly when suddenly he called me. But his voice was different. It was sweet, soft, husky, almost.. romantic. I turned.

“Yeah?”

“Breakfast is on the table. Just take whatever you want. I have work today,” he said and smiled.

“Oh okay. When will you be back?” Please say something cheesy. Please say something cheesy.

“Night. Okay I have to get ready now,” he said and walked up to his room. Honestly, I’m disappointed. Its been only one night that Junhyung is different and not his cheesy, playful self, and I’m already missing him.

I went to the dining table and true enough; there were quite a spread of breakfast laid out. It would usually be a heaven on earth for me to see such a spread but seeing that I’m going to be eating alone and Junhyung avoiding me, its more like hell on earth.

I ate slowly waiting for Junhyung to go down. He went out of his room and down the stairs wearing a black leather jacket with denim jeans and a white shirt inside. He put on his shades and sling on his bagpack. He walked straight to the door and shut it gently as if I’m not there at all. He didn’t turn, smile or even wave backwards.

After some time, Yoseob and Hyerin got back with some bags of clothes. As soon as Hyerin saw me, she threw the bags backwards, almost hitting Yoseob and ran to hug me.

“I got another date for you!” she cheered.

“I’m not in the mood Hyerin-ah..”

“But you have to! I bet he’s really the one for you! Really!” she said excitedly.

“Fine whatever.” Maybe its good to get this avoidance by Junhyung out of my mind anyway.

She told me all the details while Yoseob just smiled and shook his head looking at his girlfriend and went upstairs to put our bags.

I really couldn’t absorb all the details because my mind is still away. Far away….where Junhyung is.

I got work and I’ve never felt more relieved. I can occupy my time and concentration with work. That’s my usual self before I met Junhyung. Night comes not long since I’m occupied with work. I made my way home, shower, changed into something nice for the dinner date and waited until my date arrives. Yoseob and Hyerin were busy studying together so I am practically alone. I’ve never felt so lonely before. I used to be just fine being alone. I loved being alone. Junhyung changed everything.

The dinner went well. He’s nice. Not rude, fun to talk to, a gentleman, almost a perfect package. I had to force myself to not think about Junhyung and focus on this perfect candidate right infront of me. But I couldn’t be so sure. Remember what happened on my last date? Yeah so now is the part when he sends me home. I’ll make sure it’s home alright.

So here I am, on the porch with him. I almost forgot that I had to return back to Yoseob’s home, not mine.

“So.. umm.. can I see you again?” Junho asked.

“Maybe..?” I chuckled. He stepped closer to me and I know what is coming next. His head leaned closer to mine and held the back of my head lightly. This is where it goes wrong.

I don’t know how, but his tongue was going all over my lips and nearing my cheeks. It was so sloppy that I couldn’t breathe. I tried to push him away but he was so insistent that I failed to get him off me. My eyes were obviously not closed as I was not at all enjoying every second of it. Damn he’s a bad kisser.

Suddenly I saw a figure standing on the porch with us. He’s not that far but not too close either. Junho who was so into the kiss, didn’t notice one bit. I punched his shoulder and tried to muffle in the kiss, telling him that there was someone watching.

He broke the kiss and looked at me cluelessly. I finally got to see that the person was Junhyung. He had his head tilted and a pokerface on, looking at us.

“Oh Junhyung” I said shocked. Junho turned and look at him.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“Oh this is.. my brother. Yeah. I think I should go in now. Goodnight,” I said quickly and grabbed Junhyung hand to drag him inside and shut the door close. He looked at me with an amused expression on his face, clearly trying to control his laugh.

“Not a word” I glared at him and went to the kitchen to get my mouth sanitized. I could feel his slimy saliva all over my face and I stuck my tongue out countless times as I felt like vomiting and extremely disgusted.

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