“Minji!” Daesung called out to her as she stood outside beating erasers against the brick wall of their school.

            “Oh, Daesung! Hey!” She smiled widely at the sight of him. He had let her ride home on the back of his bike when Youngbae failed to show up for her, cheering her up about a love she probably didn’t need to have. Well, he didn’t know about the cheering up part but she was indebted to him regardless.

            “What are you doing?”

            She held up the chalkboard erasers, holding them with her fingertips. “It’s my turn,” she said, her voice far from enthusiastic.

            “Oh,” Daesung said before standing there awkwardly, looking to her with his familiar toothy grin. He had run out of things to say. Ask her out. He had developed an imaginary Jiyong that stayed in his mind, goading him to say thing’s he shouldn’t like, I’d like to walk you home and Do you want to go to the movies sometime? In fact, he thought he was hearing Jiyong say the words to him in his imagination before realizing he was hearing himself say it, his voice cracking when he reached the word ‘sometime’ and his cheeks growing red.

            Minji chuckled at him as he held his hands behind his back, grasping at his own fingers nervously, pressing his lips together, his brow creased, the word nervous written all over his face. She thought about it before answering. She thought about him. The man she’d really want to go with instead and sighed, looking to the ground.

            “You know what! We’re busy with school and everything and…You know I’ll go myself so I can…study…afterward…by myself. So it’s fine!” His voice was loud and laced with laughs filled with bravado, false confidence written all over him., trying to save face after her obvious display of disinterest.

            “No, I don’t-” Minji started before finding the words she wanted to say and starting over, “I want to go but I can’t.”

            “Oh…why?” Daesung asked.

            “I like someone. Someone else.”

            “Oh…” Daesung shoved his hands in his pockets, his body slowly expanding and exhaling as it became visually noticeable that it was getting harder and harder for him to breathe without crying.

            “I’m sorry.” Minji said, looking down to the ground and beating her eraser a few times.

            “No, I understand,” he said looking around for any witnesses to his humiliation. The coast was clear. He began walking away before feeling Imaginary Jiyong grab his arm. C’mon dude. You never heard of a challenge?

            “She’s got someone else,” he whispered back.

            And…do you know how many girls with boyfriends I’ve kissed? Hell, I got drunk and made out with a married man last year.

            “Stop, I’m not going to push it. She’s taken.”

             She’s not taken. She likes someone. Girls always like someone. Someone they aren’t dating.

            “Fine, just get out of my head.”

            Turn around.

            “I’m not turning around.”

            Do it.

            “No…”

            Do it.

            Before he could stop himself, he turned to see Minji looking up at him, her head cocked, her brow furrowed. She had obviously noticed he had been talking to himself. Well, damn, Daesung thought, exasperated, sighing deeply before squaring up his shoulders and conjuring up his most authoritative voice. He had to go through with it now.

            “Even with this guy, this guy you like. I won’t stop liking you. This guy. You’re going to forget him. I’ll make you forget him. So…Friday. You’re going to come with me to the movies. We’re going to see something really romantic. You’ll be happy you came and you’ll see me differently. You’ll forget about that guy like I said. You’ll see. It’ll be balls to the walls awesome.” Daesung replayed his monologue in his head instantaneously as Minji looked at him, a smile wide with shock and amusement on her face as she remained utterly speechless. For the first time in his life he felt momentarily suicidal. “Well, I’ll see you on Friday,” he said, bowing before speed walking back into the school.

            Balls to the wall awesome…

            “Shut up, Jiyong,” Daesung whispered before shaking his head. There is no Jiyong, you idiot! You’re talking to yourself, he thought before being instantly relieved his inner monologue had returned to his own voice and not Kwon Jiyong’s, who seemed to get him into quite a lot of trouble.

********************

            “Heads up, Timberlake!” Chaerin chimed before tossing a balled up piece of paper at his head. Seungri didn’t respond right away, lifting his head up from his inappropriate slumber as their teacher went on and on about algebraic procedures. He gave a sluggish halfhearted smile, “Heh, whatever,” he replied, his voice small and creaky. He had fallen asleep earlier after remembering that math would be a difficult subject to get through without Youngbae who had tutored him hand and hand in everything.

            “What’s bumming you out, Backstreet?” Chaerin continued mocking his musical tastes with her pet names. It was her new favorite thing.

            “Nothing.”

            “What do you mean, nothing? This is about Youngbae, isn’t it?”

            Seungri turned away at his desk, looking out the window avoiding Chaerin’s gaze. The truth was he wanted to spout out everything going through his head to her. She was really his only true friend, especially with what was going on with Minji. He was down a friend already. He didn’t want to lose her too. So, he held his tongue.

            The subject of Youngbae wasn’t easy for her. She had spent months her wounds from being in love with him and then more months coming to terms with him being with Seungri once she had pieced it together. The lingering looks between the two boys in the hall and their shared naps on the roof near the end of the school year had clicked in her mind sending her to a self imposed exile of all social interaction. It had taken so long for her to slowly warm up to Seungri again but her light was gone. She wasn’t as bossy, or as happy, or anything really. That was until lately. In recent days she’d been pretty bright and more like the old Chaerin. He didn’t want to screw that up. Not to mention she was a loose associate with Minji and would either gossip to her or confront her about Youngbae, maybe even boxing her in the nose a couple times.

            “It is about him, isn’t it? Well, I don’t want to hear it.” She turned back to her math worksheet for a moment before continuing, “You two are so good together it’s nauseating.”

            It was the first time she’d acknowledged anything between them verbally. Everything had gone unsaid before then. Seungri looked at her surprised before she shot him a toothy grin, “Shut up, Timberlake! I’m just saying. Don’t look at me like that!”

            Seungri returned her grin; glad she could be there for him, even if not completely. The fact she knew about the two of them and still stood by him without judgment, cheering him up and cheering him on, it was so lucky to find a friend like that. He looked down at his worksheet.

            “Can you…help me with this?” he asked shyly before Chaerin scooted her desk over, smiling.

            “Well, it’d be embarrassing to be best friends with you if you fail, so I guess…Just this once, though…” She pointed one of her manicured nails at Seungri jokingly before returning his amused grin with her own.

************

            “Hey! Seungri!” Minji grabbed the straps of her book bag tightly before jogging to catch up to Seungri. Seungri held his breath before he realized it, dreading talking to her.

            “Where was your sister?”

            “She’s sick. Mono.” Seungri had been telling everyone it was mono but truthfully it was a chest cold. It was just going to be funny when she couldn’t share food with anyone when she got back. Seungri smiled at the thought of his sister shrieking when she heard about it but wiped it off his face quickly when Minji returned it.

            “Oh. Well, you know, I’m going your direction. We’ll walk together,” she said playfully grabbing his arm.

            “Why would you be going my direction?” Seungri asked, a hint of contempt leaking out of his voice.

            Minji dropped his arm immediately, her voice nervous, “Well, you know…Youngbae’s been tutoring me.”

            “Right. I’m sure that’s going well for you.” Seungri literally bit his tongue from calling her a nasty name as they continued to walk.

            “It is. Well, you know how he is. Sometimes, it goes well.” She chuckled but Seungri didn’t chuckle back.

            “Did Youngbae even tell you about us?” Seungri frowned, avoiding eye contact as he asked it.

            “Of course he did. He said he doesn’t tutor you anymore though.” Minji started to walk ahead a bit, playfully avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk.

            She probably didn’t have any idea about the fact her beloved oppa had been dating her best friend’s brother, which pissed him off even more. He could have at least been honest with her.  If she were such a great dongsaeng, one worth cheating with, he would’ve been honest with her. Seungri tightened his grip on his backpack straps, his skin growing hot with anger. It was all he could do not to grab her by the shoulders and just scream in her face. You’re ruining everything! You’re ruining my life, you dumb ! The scenario played in his head over and over. He’d shake her until she fell down crying under the trees that canopied over the beginning of his street. And he’d leave her there, muttering one last obscenity to her and kicking her in the shin before he left. He smiled to himself over her hypothetical tears before realizing that it had nothing to with her. This was about Youngbae, being a liar and a cheat. If anyone deserved a swift kick in the leg it would be him.

            “Oh! Oppa, do you still keep that fashion journal?”

            Seungri scoffed, covering up his embarrassment. “No!”

            Minji’s eyes dropped to the ground, “Oh. I thought- I saw this magazine. It was American so it was pretty expensive but I thought…” She began rummaging in her bag, eventually pulling out a magazine. She handed it to him coyly, as if apologizing for something and Seungri wanted to hit her. As if buying him a magazine made up for stealing his boyfriend. It was a GQ magazine. He made out the English on the cover, Style Bible. A man in a sharply cut grayish suit and a longer crew cut of brown hair on the cover. It was just the kind of magazine he’d grab off a shelf; pay for in pennies, and rush home to collage into his book of hypothetical outfits and fashion tips. He wasn't going to let her know that though. He nonchalantly handed it back to her. “I don’t do that stuff anymore but thanks,” he lied before she took it sullenly.

            They walked a bit before she sighed lightly, walking ahead of him. “Well, I better get over to Youngbae’s,” she said softly before walking a bit quicker.

            “Yeah,” Seungri replied, hoping to have displayed as much indifference as possible with one word.

            “I’ll see you around,” she turned back and smiled brightly.

            Not if I see you first.

            He thought it but refrained from saying it, simply pulling his hand out for a stiff wave before watching her walk ahead of him, making sure he stayed at a snail’s pace, one skill he was glad to have learned from Youngbae.

*******************

            It didn’t take very long for Seungri to finish his homework since Chaerin had completely caught him up on three weeks worth of math lessons in thirty minutes. Turns out you’re not mentally retarded, I’m stunned. Chaerin had been kind of a jerk about it but oh well, her teaching methods were fool proof and her math shortcuts were legendary. He stared out the window at the small patch of grass he could see of Youngbae’s lawn.

            Seungri…

            He imagined Youngbae lying on his bed half asleep and stood up, walking over to it slowly before collapsing down across his comforter. He missed him. Every moment he missed him. They weren’t broken up either, which made it worse. There was absolutely no closure, just some huge rip in his heart that was making it hard to breathe. He grabbed his pillow, holding it close to him, imagining Youngbae laid beside him, that he was holding his strong back, burrowing his face in his hoodie, smelling the lawn that he had just come in from cutting and Old Spice aftershave, which smelled really nice, he hated to admit.

            “How much do you love me?” he had asked one day, joining Youngbae, hugging him.

            “Oh, Seungri! You have no idea!” Youngbae feigned exuberance, “I love you so much, that I get tired from loving you-” He grabbed Seungri’s hand over, guiding him to come closer, hold him tighter. His voice dropped immediately to it’s usual placid rhythm and low volume, “I get so tired, I want to go to sleep.”

            “Shut up!” Seungri had said, slapping Youngbae’s back before kissing him softly on the neck, wrapping his arm back around him. They had fallen asleep too, napping in the afternoon sun that shone through the window. He liked the warm light on his back and the way it shone into Youngbae’s black hair, bouncing off of his pale neck. He especially liked the shadow on the wall of one body made out of two that it cast against the wall.

            “Seunghyun, I really do love you. You know that right?”

            Seungri started crying as he remembered. Not the few tears that he had shed lately but full on sobbing. Yelping in anguish, swallowing air, his breath catching and his chest heaving, his grip deep into his pillow, which soon grew wet with his tears. Things were so good. They had been so, so good. Everything was all wrong. It was all messed up.             

            They were supposed to be in love.

            He kept crying until he fell asleep, the sun not nearly as warm as it had been when Youngbae was at his side.        

______________________

A/n: I hope no one noticed me slip Dave Franco in there. I can't help it. He's my only non K-Pop addiction. Oh well. There's a reason for it! I didn't just do it for no reason at least X3