“You’re being a brat,” Youngbae said lowly as he carried Seungri’s books on top of his own.

            “Hyung, it’s not like I tried to sprain my shoulder,” Seungri said, feigning pain as he rubbed his shoulder tenderly. The truth was he really just wanted a reason to see Youngbae. He and Youngbae both knew that he wasn’t still feeling any pain from gym class four days ago.

            “I don’t like using my days off to carry your stuff around,” Youngbae grumbled.

            “Yes, you do.” Seungri said before sneaking a kiss on Youngbae’s cheek, causing him to turn red as the younger boy began walking ahead, unable to stay at Youngbae’s turtle pace any longer.

            “Have you talked to Seunghyun?” Youngbae asked quietly.

            “Sure. We talk all the time.” Seungri said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

            “All the time?”

            “Well, somebody had to help me on that English test since you were busy.”

            “Why didn’t you ask Daesung?”

            “Daesung… Be serious,” Seungri said narrowing his eyes as he looked at Youngbae dubiously.

            “Seunghyun…He’s still with Jiyong, right?”

            “Well, not officially. The same way we aren’t, you know? They don’t announce it to the world.” Seungri said casually, his hands in his pockets. He was trying a new look. His loose blazer paired with jeans and a v-neck. You look like Seunghyun. Youngbae had said the words with disdain but Seungri had taken them as more of a compliment.

            “I don’t like you talking to him,” Youngbae said lowly, as if he hadn’t committed to saying the words out loud before they came out of his mouth.

            “I don’t like you talking to Minji either.”

            “That’s different. You like Seunghyun.” Youngbae said, fixing his face to its most neutral setting, trying to mask any anger that he felt.

“I liked him,” Seungri corrected him as he stared at the ground.

“Seunghyun hyung is my friend. You don’t get this way if I talk to Jiyong,” he continued.

            “Jiyong’s different. You don’t like him. You never have,” Youngbae said the fact pointedly, like he was reading it out of a textbook.

            “I don’t like Seunghyun either, like I said,” Seungri pouted. He was growing frustrated. Every thought of every day was about Youngbae for him. He didn’t understand how Youngbae couldn’t see that. He knew he had been overbearing but it was the only way to hold on to Youngbae because most of the time he was in his own world, sleeping or sitting still, staring at a wall. He was fine with that and he accepted it but Youngbae couldn’t do the same thing. Seunghyun was his hyung, his friend, and he was always there for him. It wasn’t his fault Youngbae held on to the past. Especially since he could conveniently over look things he didn’t want to think about, “And Jiyong’s worse,” he amended after thought, “We’ve actually kissed.”

            “You’ve what?” Youngbae looked at Seungri, his face expressing only a hint of his shock. He bit the inside of his lip, and Jiyong could tell he was holding in all of his anger as his face began to grow red.

            “Well…I thought you knew. I didn’t…know-“ Seungri spoke bashfully, his stare still focused on the ground. He immediately regretted opening his big mouth. He thought Jiyong wouldn’t keep something like that to himself. Especially since he was so intent on starting trouble. He had been sure that Jiyong had at least teased Youngbae about it.

            “You thought I knew you kissed Jiyong?” Youngbae clarified, making Seungri feel stupid. “While you were in love with someone else?” he added, his grip burrowing into the books he held.

            “It didn’t mean anything and we hadn’t- I wasn’t in love with you.“

            “Which makes it better, of course. And you kissed him when you didn’t even care about him?” Youngbae continued, ignoring Seungri’s meager protest, “And you hid that from me as if Jiyong isn’t my best friend?” All of his anger could be heard in his voice despite the fact he never raised it. He stared at Seungri frowning.

            “It’s not a big deal, Youngbae. It isn’t.” Seungri tried to make the sentence sound like it made sense. It wasn’t that big of a deal…was it?

            “And I’m supposed to agree with that?” he asked slowly and deliberately, trying to keep his voice calm.

            “Youngbae-“

            “Whatever. Whatever, Seungri.” Youngbae shoved the books towards Seungri as a warning bell rang from the speakers lining the school’s walls.

“Youngbae…” Seungri started loud but his voice lowered as Youngbae stopped, glaring at him, waiting for the rest of his sentence. “Can we talk…later? Maybe tomorrow?” Seungri said cautiously, hoping he wouldn’t be rejected, that he could at least hold on to the glimmer of hope that came with seeing Youngbae later on, once he had cooled down.

“I can’t. I actually have plans to see Jiyong. Hopefully I don’t get confused and make out with him.”

Seungri didn’t say anything for a while, silence settling around them as fall did the same, a cool breeze blowing through their bodies. “Are you really going to see Jiyong?” Seungri asked quietly. His presence was smaller. He knew he was wrong this time, no doubt about it and he’d never been put in that position before.

“Probably not but I might since we have class together.”

“Well, if you don’t, call me.” Seungri avoided looking at Youngbae whose face was filled with grim disappointment.

“Yeah, sure.” The words came out more like Yeah, right. “I gotta go,” he said before patting Seungri on the shoulder, an affirmation he was going to try getting over it at least. He waved over his shoulder, his figure growing smaller and smaller as he walked away.

************

            “Don’t be so bothersome,” Seunghyun said as Daesung stared at his phone intently. He had come by for girl advice, a fact that had a strange irony to it as his hyungs scrambled to get their clothes on so they could answer the door, Jiyong opting to stay under the covers, still under the fog of sleep.

            “Hyung, what do I message?”

            “Don’t message anything. Leave her alone,” Jiyong laid in bed, waving his hand as if to shoo Daesung away as he faced away from the two, who sat at Seunghyun’s coffee table, eating cereal.

            “Hyung, how can I do such a thing? I should call her!”

            Jiyong sat up, his face filled with a dull brand of anger, none of the muscles in his face tense, his eyes daggers. Daesung felt his shoulders shrink, his figure grow smaller under his hyung’s gaze.

            “Youngbae gave you her number because you lied and said you already had it.” Seunghyun pointed the fact out before slurping up more of his breakfast.

            “And that looks terrible,” Jiyong amended before groggily wiping sleep from his eyes.

            “Even so, love is as love does. How will she ever believe I like her if I don’t even talk to her?”

            “Men and women are different. Men dislike bad meals and cold showers and… being woken up at an unreasonable hour in the morning,” Jiyong paused after the last part, emphasizing his anger with Daesung, who had woken him. “But women, they think too much. It’s not about what’s uncomfortable. They wear shoes that are uncomfortable and complain about their feet hurting. They wear makeup that clogs the skin, and worry about their acne. Women…they want a contradiction. They want a man that loves them but doesn’t show it often.”

            “That’s not always true,” Seunghyun said quietly, staring into his cereal.

            “Believe what you want,” Jiyong yawned, standing up and placing his hand in the elastic band of his pants, walking past both of them towards the small ramshackle bathroom. He turned back dramatically, his torso twisted, his hand reaching behind him and resting on its opposite hip, his sinewy figure accentuated, “But I get laid more,” he said, his tone low and oily before winking and walking into the washroom, closing the door behind him.

            Daesung looked to Seunghyun in confusion, seeking an explanation that Seunghyun didn’t offer. “Hyung, how can you know someone so strange?”

            Seunghyun smiled, shrugging before picking up his bowl to drink the milk left behind from his cereal. He had no idea.

**********

            “OUCH!” Seungri exclaimed, as he inspected his finger before on it, trying to dissipate the pain from his paper cut.

            “Seungri…Get a band aid.”

            “It’s fine,” the young boy smiled. He had come to help Seunghyun stuff envelops at his job, that and get his mind off of Youngbae. He had been checking his phone nonstop before his hyung had called him from the office phone.

            “Jiyong’s coming by to help, so we’ll be done early.” As if by queue, the security buzzer went off, prompting Seunghyun to stand up and buzz his slender companion in. Jiyong traipsed through the door as if walking in to critique the room’s feng shui instead of stuff envelops. He was dressed to the nines and wore countless accessories, his wrists covered with loose bracelets that chimed.

“Why don’t you ever just leave the door open, honestly?” Jiyong asked Seunghyun before receiving a pinch on the cheek from the taller man. It was as endearing as a dismissal was going to get.

Seungri felt an overbearing anxiety at the sight of Jiyong, letting his curiosity get the best of him. “Have you heard from Youngbae?” he asked, his voice rushed. Youngbae hadn’t called him all day and it was getting late.

            Genuine surprise came across Jiyong’s face, “I was going to ask you the same thing,” Jiyong sat down at the round table Seungri was stationed at, immediately getting to work as Seunghyun began to make copies across the room. “He didn’t show up in class. He hasn’t for two weeks now. I mean we have other classes but…I just figured-“ Jiyong trailed off.

            “Figured what?” Seunghyun asked. His voice warned Jiyong not to start trouble.

            “Oh, I don’t know Seunghyun. Don’t look at me like that! I don’t know what he’s up to either. He doesn’t tell me anything.” Jiyong said, looking down sheepishly. He had been contemplating turning it into some kind of instigation but Seunghyun had nipped his attempt in the bud.

            “He said you guys had plans,” Seungri said, trying to remain nonchalant, his voice wavering a bit. Hopefully it went unnoticed.

            “We don’t talk much anymore. Hell, I don’t talk to anyone.” Jiyong threw a side-glance towards Seunghyun who came to the table with copies and a stapler at hand, making pamphlets for his boss’ meeting tomorrow.

            “Be serious, Jiyong. You don’t need anyone with someone like me in your life.”

            Jiyong suppressed a smile at Seunghyun’s uncharacteristic corniness before continuing to stuff envelops.

            “Could you find out where he is for me?” Seungri asked slowly.

            “I could,” Jiyong started, “But what are you going to do?”

            “I’m going to see what he’s up to,” Seungri said determined. His suspicion completely fading the pain of his paper cut away.

**********

            “Youngbae, it’s an emergency. Which side of the street are you on?” Jiyong asked, his voice breathy, as if he had just caught his breath.

            He was one of four boys huddled together in the opening of an alley. Somehow, Seunghyun had corralled Daesung into their expedition, needing as many hands possible to finish his work soon enough to tail Youngbae. Their appearance was pretty comical to say the least. Daesung and Seungri had opted for disguises. Seungri sported a scarf around half of his face, a fedora on his head, and his father’s raincoat, which he was practically swimming in. Daesung on the other hand was wearing Seunghyun’s reading glasses and a fake mustache. Seunghyun decided to play along reluctantly after countless cajoles and whines from his beloved dongsaengs, and he decided to put on a facemask and a hoodie, nothing more. Jiyong opted to go for stealth versus disguise, wearing dark colors to blend in with the night, despite the fact it wasn’t quite dark yet.

            “We’re going to stand out like this,” Seunghyun said, looking from Daesung to Seungri and wondering just how dumb they were to think they were in disguise. He sighed as he resolved to let it go.

            “You’re walking towards the movie theater?...Oh, nothing happened. You know what? I think it was just gas so I’ll talk to you later,” Jiyong hung up abruptly, probably annoying Youngbae to the nth degree.

            After Jiyong directed their positions, Daesung began to frown, confused. “Why are we following Youngbae, hyung?”

            “To see what he’s up to,” Jiyong said immediately.

            “Why?”

            “Because he’s a liar,” Seungri said, venom in the word. Liar. It was one thing he knew beyond a doubt Youngbae was not but now, things were different. He bit his lip. He could feel himself blinking rapidly and he tried his hardest to kill the nervous tick before it started up.

            “Oh, okay.” Daesung nodded, his face brightening a second before frowning again, “Wait. When did he lie?”

            “Daesung! Focus!” Jiyong said in English, emphasizing his leadership position.

            “Okay so, Seunghyun, you’ll walk to the movie theater and go inside. I’ll be around the corner in case he doesn’t go in. Seungri, you follow him on foot and Daesung…Well, you can just sit with Seunghyun I guess.”

            “This is so ridiculous,” Seunghyun said under his breath.

            “You’re ridiculous,” Jiyong retorted, protecting the honor of his makeshift stealth squad.

            “Shouldn’t you just ask him about everything?” Seunghyun said, turning towards Seungri.

            “No. You should follow him! Catch him lying. You ask a liar a question and he’ll lie when he answers.” Daesung said, feigning wisdom.

            “You say that like it’s a saying,” Jiyong spoke, his eyes narrowed.

            “It is a saying,” Daesung nodded.

            The three of them stopped and inspected Daesung for a moment, his words dubious.

            “Oh, whatever. I’m just going to go find him,” Seungri said, exasperated. He shrugged off his coat and took off his scarf, handing them to Seunghyun. “You guys wait here.” He just wanted to get this over with. He knew it all had been silly but he really didn’t want to be alone at the moment. He tried to keep his stride confident as he walked away, heading towards the movie theater. He peered into distance, seeing a couple figures walking ahead of him. As they appeared clearer he made out Minji’s figure, her face faintly appearing before he realized the boy walking with her was Youngbae, causing him to back up and dodge behind the side of a building. He watched the two of them continue walking towards the movie theater before following them.

            “Oppa!” Minji exclaimed playfully before nudging Youngbae and hopping up the steps of the cinema cheerfully. Youngbae followed behind her, a bookbag slung over his arm, sporting a hat cocked to the side. Seungri couldn’t make out anything from afar, unable to hear what was being said, but he didn’t want to. He felt his hands begin to sweat and his heart was beating faster than it ever had. Faster than when they shared their first kiss in Youngbae’s room, his body against his and faster than when he realized he loved him, sitting next to him on a rooftop, their fingers laced together and fireworks lighting the sky, faster than every time Youngbae brought his arms around him and dragged him close, burrowing his head in the crook of Seungri’s shoulder, kissing him gently on the neck. It was a different kind of heart beat, each time a heavy thump rang through his body, it felt like he was being dragged further into some kind of prison, some kind of pain. This couldn’t be real. It had to be a mistake. It couldn’t happen. He couldn’t be losing the one thing he loved most. At that moment he wanted to be angry, to be frustrated and in a rage, he wanted to walk up to Youngbae and start yelling and screaming, but the only thing he could manage as he stood still, shaking silently, is being absolutely terrified that things might be over.