Two years. It’s been two years since Sungmin left, and Kyuhyun hasn’t heard a word from her. It’s as if she disappeared off the face of the earth with their son. Their son who should be almost 3 now, but the only mental image he has of the boy is the smiling 10-month-old who loved to play with his hair.

At 26, he’s now working at a high-end restaurant owned by his friend Ryeowook with whom he was really close with in high school. The hours are flexible and allow Kyuhyun to work on his college degree and still have time for his daughter. Donghae protested years ago when Kyuhyun first told him he was quitting his corporate job to finish high school, claiming that he could do both at the same time. But Siwon didn’t argue, knowing that even with a promotion, Kyuhyun still didn’t feel like he earned the job, and he wanted to be a good example to Sunkyu.

Sunkyu hasn’t been as full as life ever since Sungmin left. She’s still as energetic as a 7-year-old should be, but all the carefreeness she used to have is replaced with caution and her knowledge that the world isn’t all good. Sometimes Kyuhyun feels like she’s slipping away with him as if she’s afraid he’ll do the same as her mother, but occasionally they do have those moments where it feels like they’re the only two people in the world and everything will be alright.

These days, he lives with Siwon, but they’re not together even though he and Donghae had broken things off after an 8-month relationship. They had mutually agreed that their relationship wasn’t heading anywhere, and they were better off as friends. Things got a bit awkward between the three of them for a short time after, but when the former couple discovered that their youngest friend was hiding the fact he was going through an emotional breakdown, they put the awkwardness behind them.

About a year after Sungmin left, Donghae was paying his friend a surprise visit at his apartment and found Kyuhyun curled in a closet, shaking and crying. Later, after calming down, he admitted that these episodes happened quite often when he was alone. 

It was then decided that living with Siwon was the best option for him. For a few weeks the arrangement appeared like it was working, but one afternoon after picking Sunkyu up from school, Siwon found the young man sitting on the bathroom floor, bawling his eyes out and clutching onto Dae-Jung for dear life. Therapy was the next step and that helped him to a point of stopping the episodes, but he still wasn’t up to living on his own again.

Finding Sungmin is proving to be an impossible challenge. Legally, Kyuhyun is still married to the woman, so taking Junghwan was in no way considered a criminal act. Without police help, Siwon had taken it upon himself to initiate a search. So far, the only inclination they had to her whereabouts was a receipt for the purchase of a passport for her and Junghwan. As to what country she traveled to, they’re no closer to finding out than North and South Korea were to reuniting.

But Siwon knows how important finding Junghwan is to Kyuhyun and has no intentions of giving up.

Two years, 1 month, and 6 days after Sungmin left, Kyuhyun’s in his room staring at a picture of Junghwan as he often does after therapy when he feels too vulnerable after letting another person into his head. Usually, he lets thoughts of Sungmin numb the openness he feels and repress the strong emotions he wants to feel, but today, for the first time in years, he doesn’t want to feel numb. He wants to feel. He doesn’t want to live like a zombie anymore, reflecting the magnitude of how much Sungmin hurt him. He wants to feel the thrill of life.

A thrill that being in love used to give him.

At that moment, Siwon tentatively knocks on the bedroom door, wanting to check on the man to make sure he has eaten, as he often forgets to do. Instead of the typical dead eyes that usually meet him, the small, but noticeable light in Kyuhyun eyes makes his jaw drop slightly and he has to take a step back.

“Kyuhyun…” It feels as if he’s really seeing the man for the first time in a while and, really, he is. This is the Kyuhyun he’s been missing for over 4 and a half years; the young man who always looked at him like he held the world in his hands.

All Kyuhyun can muster is a small smile, but it’s enough for Siwon to cross the room in a few long strides and throw his arms around the too-thin man.

“You waited for me,” Kyuhyun breathes out, using what little strength he has to cling to Siwon. “I don’t deserve you.”

Siwon shakes his head to stop any self=degrading thoughts the younger might have. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I’m sorry. Don’t you ever leave me again.” They continue to hold onto each other, neither wanting to be the first to let go.

And this time, neither of them is letting go.