Byulyi was surprised to say the least, she chuckled nervously in my arms, 

"Marry you?" She asked again as if to confirm she heard it correctly, I nodded,

"Marry me." 

It was ridiculous, I know. But again, all of this was ridiculous and it's not like any of our decisions for the past few days had been rational and maybe with her I didn't want to be mature I just wanted her in every way possible.

I knew her head was overworking, she looked at me and I could see all the questions written on her face, I sat up ready to clear everything up,

"I'm not going to make you run with me, just marry me, then you can do whatever you want but as long as you are married to me then anything else doesn't matter, I guess.." 

It was almost crazy how easily Byulyi was ready to do anything I asked, she sat up too, all marked and mine, It was a boost to my ego and a bandage to my broken heart.

I convinced her that I knew how to perform a wedding since I'd officiated Hyejinie's, she laughed but agreed nonetheless, but the moment it hit me what we were doing I forgot everything, I was a blabbering mess and she had the time of her life making fun of me.

It wasn't ideal and it wasn't right either but when she looked at me with her eyes filled to the brim as she whispered "I do." I was convinced no one will ever be able to have her love the way I did.

In the end, I could confidently say our wedding ceremony with broken vows and forgotten promises was more perfect than any other.

It was not fulfilling enough though, what more could I have done, I still felt like I was losing, she was in my arms and she loved me but I was still going to leave and she was going to marry another man, still, after all.

I could have sank my teeth in that deep red mark for the hundredth time that day but that still wouldn't have satisfied me, I knew Byulyi could sense it, she was so silent, the lively girl I had met a week ago was no where and such a sad smile adorned her face I couldn't help but blame myself.

I had no space for regrets but I dreaded the moment I thought I could change her mind, when I thought I could make her mine.

I wished I had a little more control over myself and wished she hadn't returned my feelings, maybe that way it could have hurt less.

She wordlessly removed herself from my arms, sitting on the edge of bed before putting her tshirt on, I sighed, I couldn't believe my luck, how'd I win and lose her in days, she flicked my head, looking at me teasingly,

"You think too much, Yong." 

"Can you blame me? I'm going to lose you..can you blame me?" I replied and watched her stiffen, she stayed silent.

"You know..." I started again meeting her curious eyes,

"If I stop by every month would your neighbours be suspicious." She laughed at that hitting my arm, coming back in my embrace, the moment she hid her face in my neck I knew she was going to be inconsolable, that was one of the things I was able to predict about Byulyi correctly by then.

"Okay then I won't stop by, fine." I replied to myself bitterly as sobs wrecked through her body and I just felt wronged, I was just as hurt.

"I don't even remember how I functioned without you, it's going to feel so empty." I murmured in realisation and that just made her sob harder so I decided to stay silent for a while.

She finally faced me, softly leaning on her elbows as she looked at me, "I'm so sorry Yong, It's all my fault, when I saw you first, I liked you so much I wanted to be close with you but then you're like this and I fell in love oh God I love you so much you have no idea I shouldn't have asked you to stay I shouldn't have kissed you this is all-" 

She was panicking and I could only kiss her shut, tell her it was all okay, when in fact It felt like a storm had just started inside me.

I needed to leave. And I needed to tell her.

"I'm supposed to return tomorrow, to Seoul an