I played with the Rubik’s cube as I used my left foot to push me, I was sitting on the office chair and I was bored, I basically had nothing to do.

 

I finished signing papers and doing some more work, what else should I do? I just want to go back in reading my diary right now.

 

After a few turns, I finally solved the Rubik’s cube. I placed it down my office table and stood up. I made a few stretches then sat back down again.

 

I pulled myself nearer the office table, what should I do? I blew my hair and decided to call my secretary, after a few seconds, she came inside my office.

 

“Ma’am, what can I do for you?” She asked me as she held folders in her arm tightly. I turned the office table like it was some sort of amusement ride.

 

“Do you know SHINee?” I asked her and faced her. I looked at her in the eyes and I can see that she was a bit startled.

 

“Ma’am, you mean the boy band?” She asked me, confusion is in her eyes.  I nodded then smiled at her, she smiled back.

 

“Of course I do ma’am.” She replied. I believe that she’s in the same age as me or maybe a year younger or two?

 

I turned the office chair again. “Who’s your favourite?” I asked her.

 

Without further ado, she replied “Onew.”

 

“Hmm... Okay, you can go now.” I said then she went out.

 

I see... many people like Onew, I believe that Onew isn’t hard to like. Well... I opened my laptop and went to their official site. I viewed his teasers again, I smiled, knowing that the other members went revealing, Onew wrapped himself up in a blanket and showed only his shoulders. I know he’s conservative like that, he told me that he would only show his body to the girl that she loves the most.

 

I smiled, looking at his pictures, he had changed over the years, I used to... let’s say... like him? But it all faded when 2010 started... it was the start of his career, let’s say, the peak of their career?

 

I shrugged those thoughts off, I went to YouTube to watch cat videos, since, I’m really bored and I can’t wait till it’s lunch time.

 

But a certain video caught my eye, Sherlock Medley? I decided to check it out. I listened to it and it was good, I bet their new album will be good, the last part came and it was Onew’s voice...

 

I started to tear up again, normally, when I listen to him singing, I don’t tear up anymore. But those few words made me cry...

 

‘Wordlessly you embrace the thankful me; now I will shine on you like a dream’

 

I.... I miss him so much, I want to hug him, I want to talk to him, I just want to be with him, but that’s impossible right? He doesn’t want me; he doesn’t want to talk to me.

 

I don’t know but the lyrics he sang seem to just reflect on me... I just want to hug him again; I just want to talk to him again.

 

I looked at my wrist and saw the bracelet he gave me before he left for their first stage, for their promotions for Ring Ding Dong.

 

That was the last time he talked to me, I never dared go to fansigns, I mean, I’m a respected, professional business woman, what would they think if they saw me going crazy over some boy band?

 

He changed his phone number without even telling, he also isn’t replying to my e-mails anymore, and then, I felt that he just wants to forget me and stop talking to me.

 

I wiped my tears then went out of my office, it’s lunch time already so there aren’t many employees left, I bowed to some of them who’s left and made my way out of the building.

 

I just want to go somewhere...

 

I went inside my car, started the engine then went back there, to my old high school.

 

The school wasn’t very far from my work; it was just a few meters away. After a few minutes of driving, I arrived at the school.

 

I was close with the guard back then, so I asked him to let me in, I just want to go back to the rooftop, and of course he let me in.

 

I went up to the rooftop and tried to find that old cassette again, I only found the old cassette player Onew used to use.

 

I opened it and saw that it has the cassette inside, then that probably means, he is listening to this? I wonder...

 

I pressed play, the button was stiff and was hard to push, and I kind of hurt my index finger in the process of pushing it.

 

I remember the time when we recorded this, we were just singing our hearts out and recorded it into this cassette, we don’t know why we did it but it made us happy.

 

I heard his voice; his voice was so different from then and now. And then I heard my funny and squeaky voice, it was really funny how we just enjoyed, we never thought of separating, the only time we separated is because we have to go home.

 

I don’t know if something was wrong with me or there’s something wrong with him, we never meet anymore, we never talk anymore, but somehow, I still feel that there’s a connection between me and Onew.

 

Then I heard him say, from the cassette,

 

“Will our voices be able to reach heaven?”

 

“Maybe, I don’t know, just sing it all out Onew, just sing your happiness, your sadness, everything, it what you slike most right? So you must always enjoy it no matter how many times your voice cracks”

 

I heard laughing from the cassette, and then I heard much more singing of incoherent words again, I just miss these times where we just fool around.

 

I stopped listening to the cassette; I removed the cassette from the player and stuffed it inside the place where we use to hide it.

 

Is he still going here? I’m hopeful to see him, even just once and talk to him on a personal level. I made sure no one saw me hide the cassette and the player, we treasure it very much.

 

I walked out of the school, taking a last glance at it. I smiled then went inside my car to go back to the office, lunch break is almost done and I didn’t eat.

 

**

 

I went home earlier as I expected, I’m very enthusiastic about reading my diary, I don’t know why it is very interesting to me, but I like it a lot.

 

I opened the door and saw my mom, “Dear, why are you so early?” She asked me as she turned her gaze from the television to me.

 

“I finished work earlier, mom.” I told her. I went up to her and kissed her cheeks. She looked at my feet and gave me a glare.

 

“Remove your shoes young lady!” Mom exclaimed. Surprised, I immediately ran back to the door and removed my shoes. Gee, mom is so scary when she’s mad.

 

“Anyways, JooYoung, somebody left you flowers a while earlier.” Mom said and pointed at the bouquet of flowers by the table near the door.

 

I picked it up and took the small paper inside it, I wonder who is it from; they should’ve just left it at my office perhaps.

 

‘Hello, beautiful’

 

... That’s all? I tried to look for more papers in the bouquet but I guess that’s all... I looked at my mom, “Mom, who gave these?” I questioned her as I walked to her.

 

“I don’t know, I asked the delivery guy who it is from, he never said anything though.” She said, shrugging her shoulders.

 

I nodded then went to the storage room; I know we still have some spare vases in here.

 

I took a white vase and then went to the kitchen to fill it up with water; I took the roses and arranged them inside the vase.

 

I walked back to the living room, “Mom, they look nice right?” I asked her and showed her the vase of roses.

 

She smiled at me then nodded, “Indeed, they are. Dear, is anyone courting you?” She asked me with a raised brow.

 

I placed the vase on the small stool beside the television. I sat behind her, “I don’t know either.” I replied and sighed.

 

“Well then, he has to come out before anyone courts you.” She said then giggled, “Go change your clothes,” She added, turning back to the television.

 

I nodded then made my way upstairs, but before I go to my room, I decided to go back to the attic.

 

I slowly pushed the door then went up. I opened the chest and took my diary out. I sat on the ground then started reading.

 

Dear Diary,

Today was a very nice day for Onew. I am very happy for him, I can’t control my emotions. He said that he just got accepted by SM entertainment and he is going to start training tomorrow.

 

He said that he may not be able to focus on his studies. I want to help him, but since I’m on the lower grade, I can just give him my moral support right?

 

After school, we went to eat some street foods; I noticed that as days go by, we get closer and closer to each other; we are very comfortable with each other now.

 

I told him that he should work hard so that he’ll be in a successful group soon. He was hopeful, so was I.

 

We talked about his dreams as we ate. He said he wanted to be a singer since he was young; he wants to do musicals and perform in front of a lot of people. Well me, I am still lost about what I want to be when I grow up.

 

He reminded me that I should surely and quickly choose what I want to be when I grow up. I just laughed it off, I’m really unsure about my future.

 

After that, we went to the park, but it started raining out of the sudden, we were both surprised so we went to the nearest shed, which is a sturdy-looking tree.

 

I don’t know why but things suddenly went awkward between us. It was very cold and our uniforms are very wet.

 

He suddenly pulled me out of the shed then started running around like he’s very very happy and very very hyper.

 

I decided to join him, I started to run around and flail my arms, there were persons looking at us, some were giving us judging looks and some laughed at us.

 

He said that I shouldn’t care and just be happy. He likes the rain I guess.

 

After that, he went home with me, but he just stayed outside of my house, I gave him an umbrella so that he won’t get wet anymore.

 

I got scolding from my mom after that, but when she saw Onew leaving, he asked who he was, I told her that he is my friend and she said that he looks good.

 

I agree with mom.

 

 

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I seriously haven't found the right genre/mood/theme for this fic =w=