At least not until I lathered up the good side of my face, then stood gazing at my image. As I stood there in front of the mirror realizing if I tried to shave it would be hell to say the least it suddenly dawned on me that this had all happened before. Well not exactly like this, but there I was a young businessman with wild ideas, and I was trying not to get involved with my wife. I had gone out on a date figuring if I played around, she'd not mean as much to me, but I ended up getting slapped just like last night. The big difference though was then I had scratches, not swelling, and the result of my efforts ended up showing me why Mary meant so much to me, and ultimately in my marriage. Had I thought of Jessica? I meant Irene.

As the realization struck me, my legs began to shake, so I tried to support myself with my arms. They too shook so in the end I just sat on the bathroom floor. This was not good. I was in love with another man's girlfriend. I just couldn't think. Slowly I tried my legs again and found that although they were not entirely stable, I could manage. I moved back to the bedroom and retrieved Irene's picture from the bedside table.

Then as I held it between shaking hands, I told her I was sorry. I felt like I had betrayed her, for I knew I had promised I'd never love another.

Then perhaps in one of life's images of transition, Irene's picture blurred from sight. I knew it was due to the tears in my eyes, but it seemed somehow appropriate.

It took perhaps an hour to finally compose myself enough to dress and call a cab. I knew I couldn't drive with one eye and was not about to try the subway. As it turned out, having someone else drive was a sort of benefit. I had time to reflect on my situation. I had thought that perhaps I should just tell Jessica, then live with my own internal struggle, but somehow that seemed cruel.

I could I supposed try to have an affair with her, then in time perhaps she too would have feelings for me, but no that was wrong on too many fronts. Nothing I thought of seemed right, as each time I pondered a new scenario it ended up putting Jessica on the spot or hurting someone. All I really knew for sure was working with her would never be the same.

Working with her the words just kept churning up again, and again, and suddenly I realized that was what had to be done. I had to quit. I'd leave and let Jessica live her life oblivious to my own pain. I'd try to keep tabs on her, and perhaps someday she'd be free again for me to pursue.

When I finally arrived at work that day I was in for a big surprise. It was Halloween and everyone had turned out in costume. It was sort of a company tradition for each year the employees would dress up, work throughout the day, and then go off for the company’s Halloween bash.

The spouses etc. would join their other half at the party, and everyone would have a wonderful time. I of course had completely forgotten about it, so I sort of stood out amongst the vampires, clowns, cats, etc. until one of the employees complimented me on my mugged manager, look. I had to smile at that even though it hurt to do so. Next came the big moment for as I turned the corner to my office, I saw Jessica.

She was dressed in a beautiful 16th-century-styled ball gown. Complete with an exterior lace-up girdle, which her s up and offered them as tempting morsels for the eyes of all men. When she moved the skirt portion seemed to float rather than sway and immediately, I thought of Cinderella.

As Jessica saw me, she rushed to my side concerned with what had happened. Her hand reached up and delicately touched the swollen skin, her perfume filled my nostrils and my legs trembled. I tried to go to my desk and sit but as my first leg stepped my knee buckled, and I almost fell.

Instantly Jessica was at my side aiding me to my chair. Her body felt so hot pressed once again close to mine, and my eyes couldn't help but steal a new memory of her s. She was asking me if I was ok, and what had happened, but I tried to assure her it was nothing. As for what had happened, I told her I had just been stupid, and hoped that now I had learned my lesson.

All in all, the day was not too bad though. I had managed to get some work done and my eye recouped enough so that I could at least see. I had spoken with the company's president and informed him that I would be leaving, although I didn't offer him any reasons for this sudden decision.

He in turn convinced me to stay on until January, as it was our busiest season and they'd be hard-pressed to replace, and train someone at this time. I agreed to his time schedule provided my leaving was kept secret until such time as I left. I told him I would not stand for a party nor formal announcement, that it had to be this way.

Jessica meanwhile wanted to know if I was going to the party after work, but I knew it was not a good idea and told her no. After that, it seemed as though with each spare moment Jessica found, she would come back and try to convince me to go again. For once I held true and flatly refused.

I tried to explain that it wouldn't be much fun and that I didn't feel well enough, but still, she insisted. She even smiled a wonderful smile and offered to let me "sit" with her, and for the briefest moment, my determination wavered. Suddenly the image of me sitting with Yul came to mind, and so once again I refused. Truly Jessica seemed dejected that I would not attend but such was the stand I needed to take.

After I left work that day, I returned home but found I was merely sitting in the darkening living room. My mind was on Jessica, and I realized it was going to be a long two months if I stayed cold toward her. I tried to occupy my thoughts with TV, but quickly turned it off. I tried music but found a kind of melancholy sweeping over me, so at last I turned to my photo album. Perhaps somewhere in my pictures, my wife could help me. As I turned page after page, I found it seemed to be working. I started to remember the situations which inspired them. The good times, the joy we shared, and then... I turned to the cabin. It was to be our dream home and retirement place. Yet instead, it turned out to be the cruelest memory. It was there that Irene told me she was feeling bad, and it was there two weeks later that she died. I had never been back. Once again, I found myself on the verge of crying, so I turned the page, and the image caused me to freeze. Through tear-filled eyes I saw Jessica at the annual Halloween Party, shaking hands with my wife. Since this was Jessica's first party, I knew the image was not her, so I wiped my eyes and looked again. This time it was indeed my wife dressed as Queen of the Nile but pointing to another employee dressed as Queen Elizabeth. Dropping the book in my lap I kissed the tip of one finger and then touched it to my wife's image. "Thank you," I said, then stood, and left for the party.

Was it fate, or some other unseen force, which sent me to the party that night? I may never know. I like to think though it was Irene reaching out to tell me everything was ok, but that I needed to be at that party. When I arrived it was already so late, but still, I made my way through the revelers, a good number of whom were drunk, trying to find Jessica. When I crossed the room once without seeing her, I asked some of the other employees. Most were oblivious as to where she was, but one lady told me she had just left with a client. "What?" I shouted to myself then questioned her again. Sure enough,

Jessica had come to the party alone and had been drinking way too much. She had also allowed a client to constantly dance with her, kiss her, and even fondle the tops of her s. Now rumors always have some basis in fact and thus it was that I felt ill. I had let Jessica down. She had so wanted me there I refused, and she then fell into opportunistic hands. I was such an .

As I exited the building the cold blast of the pending winter hit my neck. I didn't care. It felt as though I had lost my wife all over again. Slowly I made my way through the parking lot, and perhaps that might have been the end of it, but suddenly a horn beeped, and I glared at its indignity for disturbing me. For a moment I saw nothing, then a sudden movement within a frosted vehicle captured my attention. That was curious I thought, so I moved closer, only to see the movement was an arm rising and falling. It appeared to be sewing or pulling on something, but that just didn't make sense, so I moved closer still. It only took two strides though for my eyes to see the prone form of Jessica. The man in the car was unfastening her girdle but I could already see her s were exposed. "No!!!" I screamed as my eyes took in the sight.

Without thinking I raced to the car, slipping on the slick pavement, and sliding into the door. The thump echoed throughout the parking lot but as the guy's head rose, I already had the door open. Jessica's head was turning towards me, and it was obvious she was drunk. I also had the impression that only moments before, she had passed out. As for the guy, he started to say, "What the " Then seeing me start to enter the car, said, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't know she was your wife". Perhaps it had been the look in my eyes or perhaps the mess on my face giving the impression I was a fighter, but in any event, the guy literally pushed Jessica from his car and then locked the doors.

As I gathered Jessica up from the parking lot pavement, it struck me that her voluminous skirt had most likely prevented the guy from going too far. That would also explain why he was removing her girdle.

For a moment I looked back at the guy in the car and was somewhat relieved to see him watching in apparent wide-eyed fear. I had never thought of myself as a scary guy, and in fact, had never been in a fight, so I was somewhat relieved this was the impression I had given. Thank goodness I hadn't spared myself the time to consider my actions. With Jessica once again safe within my arms I now had to figure out what to do. I knew I couldn't take her back inside, for the innuendo, rumors, and impressions associated with such an action would at the very least destroy Taeyeon's ability to work within our firm. I couldn't leave her to fend for herself in this condition, so my only option was to take her home to her boyfriend and face his possessive character. It seemed a small sacrifice to be scrutinized by him in order to ensure Jessica's safety, so I carried her to my car and placed her in the passenger seat. After closing her door, I proceeded to the driver's side, started the car, and then fastened my seat belt. As it clicked into place, I remembered Jessica had not been able to fasten her own, so I reached across her to do it myself. Suddenly I realized her s were once again mere inches from my lips.

She'd never known drawing upon my last resources of strength, so I reluctantly moved away. Then putting the car in reverse, I backed away. As I came out of the parking lot, I suddenly realized I didn't know where I was going. I stopped the car and looked at Jessica but didn't have the heart to disturb her. Instead, I figured I'd take the info from her purse as I was sure she wouldn't mind. Putting the car in park I reached for it only to find it was not on my side. Not on hers either, or on the floor. Had I picked up a purse? Did she have one? Where was her coat? Realizing she was without them I considered the possibilities. She had left them inside, or they were in the guy's car. In either case, though, I was not willing to go back and stir the pot of controversy or doubt, so I gently shook Jessica. "Jessica" I called,

"Where do you live?" "Jessica" "Jessica". It was no use, I realized. She was too far gone, to get a response unless I slapped her back to consciousness and I just couldn't. Putting the car back in drive

I made the decision. I'd go home and look up her address in the phone book.

Ok, so my heart was in the right place, even if my mind was not... Now back in my driveway, I once again went to Jessica's side of the car and gently lifted her out. She seemed to curl up in my arms, hugging me close, a memory that I shall treasure forever. More than this though, when I at last tried to lay her upon my bed, her arms did not let go, and I was forced to gently coax them open. For a moment after my hands released her, I stood looking at this siren, which had so unwittingly captured my heart. I found myself softly the stray hairs from her forehead and allowing a fingertip to trace the line of her face and then her lips. They were so soft... They needed to be kissed Not like in the past, but softly as a lover would. I leaned in and as my lips approached and the smell of alcohol filled my nostrils.

What was I doing? This simply was not right. I could not pretend I had no control because of alcohol, for I didn't drink. I could not rationalize that it was ok because she had wanted this. It was simply taking advantage, and had I continued I'd be no better than the client I rescued her from.

I rose from the bed, all the while watching. Allowing more and more of Jessica to fill my vision. Soon it became apparent to me that she could not and should not sleep that way. Her girdle, which had caused the client so much trouble, still squeezed Jessica's waist, and I was sure restricted her breathing to some degree. I also noticed her gown ballooned up from her legs due to the skirt's stays, imparting an impression of a beached whale. All in all, this did not befit my sleeping beauty so once again I lowered myself to the bed and cautiously began undoing the girdle. I found myself treating Jessica like she had treated my gift, taking the utmost care in each stage. Soon the last intricate weave of the girdle’s ties slipped free, and the twin halves parted. Tenderly I slipped my hand under Jessica, between the girdle and her dress then with the most delicate of upward pressures I pulled the garment free. Next, I studied the dress itself and realized that it was fastened by way of tiny hooks.