[Chapter 4] - Ambivalence

In Your Eyes
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It’s fair to say that the universe plays in Baekhyun’s favor - at Jieun’s expense, that is.

Out of the nearly one hundred students in her lecture hall, of course she’d randomly be paired with Byun Baekhyun for their first project of the semester.

Her professor had released online information about assigned partners after class. Jieun checks first thing in the campus cafeteria during lunch; she scrolls down the list, coming across the letters of his name spelled above hers. She swipes away, refreshes her screen, then scrolls again. Byun Baekhyun. Written in its full blatant form. 

Jieun contemplates if it’s too late to switch out of her cohort.

“Why the long face?” Seungwan puzzles over Jieun face planting into the laptop surface she’d just slammed down. “It’s better to be paired with someone you know than a total stranger.”

“Seconded. I don’t even know how to reach out to my partner.” Seulgi concurs, half-frowning at her own screen.

“Maybe Jieun’s worried she’ll be distracted by his pretty face the whole time.” Sooyoung chimes in with mirth, ignoring the look Jieun gives her. 

“Geez, it’s not like that.” The girls giggle among themselves at Jieun’s displeased pout. She’s not about to betray herself blurting out they’re neighbors; it might really give them ideas.

Ever since Baekhyun claimed territory next to Jieun’s new seating arrangement, he also imposed legal obligation to converse with her every class. It’s nothing a normal classmate wouldn’t inquire: he asks if she’s completed her modules, if she finished the assigned pre-readings, if she prepared any drafts - then once in a while, he throws her off with something out of the blue. 

“Say, Jieun, do you think I look better in round or rectangular glasses?” He’d asked her earlier this morning. A weird question from a boy who only shows up to class in contacts.

“How would I know? I’ve never seen you in glasses.” 

“You sure about that? I wore round frames three nights ago and rectangular ones last nigh-”

“Nope. Didn’t see anything. Like I said, how would I know?” Jieun smiles through gritted teeth as Chanyeol pokes his head over to join the conversation. 

Baekhyun’s aware there exists an unspoken pact between them, the result of stretching an open secret too long it becomes awkward to explain why it was a secret in the first place. At least, that’s what Jieun believes. It hasn’t stopped Baekhyun from trying to ruffle a few feathers; there’s always a sneaky glint in his eyes when he titters around the subject of their circumstances. Just enough to raise suspicion, not enough to make it obvious.

“It shouldn’t be too hard working with Baekhyun. He’s got a pretty excellent portfolio, I think he knows his stuff.” Seulgi advocates again. Jieun trusts her judgment; she just can’t explain the real issue at hand. Our classmate who happens to be my neighbor keeps trying to imply we’re neighbors to mess with my head and I can’t stand it. How ludicrous of a complaint is that?

“Speaking of men Jieun has to work with,” Sooyoung teases with a cheeky smile, “don’t forget your loverboy’s waiting after our next tutorial.”

“Sooyoung!” Now Jieun is visibly blushing. “Sehun and I are just friends. We’re having a study session, that’s all.” 

“He’s literally going out of his way to pick you up after class. No guy would do that for me just to study.” 

“It’s because he knows the directions better than I do.” A lie, but Jieun’s not about to agree with Sooyoung's point. It wasn’t meant to be a big deal, but the trouble of appearing too reserved is that her friends start getting invested in her love life.

Seungwan, who’d been idly observing the cafeteria, switches the subject back, though for a different reason. “Isn’t that Baekhyun over there? Who’s the girl tagging along with him?” 

They all follow her gaze across the room, where Baekhyun enters through the double glass doors, pulling the handle open for a petite girl in the midst of their conversation. 

Nam Yoojung. Jieun and Seulgi simultaneously recognize her from the meeting two weeks ago. A ditzy but energetic girl determined enough to latch on when most would only approach Baekhyun on a whim or admire from afar. Jieun wonders how long it’ll take until Yoojung realizes Baekhyun probably isn’t interested; it’s quite apparent their dynamic was looking one-sided. 

Sooyoung lets out a hum and turns her attention back to Jieun. “Now that I think about it, there’s definitely a lot of people who’d want to take your place right now, as Baekhyun’s partner.”

I wouldn’t mind switching. Jieun wants to say. Except it occurs to her she’d rather deal with him herself than have someone else take her place, especially someone who’d use the project as an opportunity for ulterior motives.

That’s another valid reason no one needs to know she and Baekhyun lived next door to each other, Jieun supposed. She wouldn’t want to be personally involved with his private affairs, that much was none of her business.

 

 

“You’re partnered with Baekhyun? I think that puts you in good hands.”

Sehun shares the exact sentiment towards Jieun’s situation. He’d been in her shoes one year prior, working on the same project. “His portfolio’s no joke. You can’t transfer into design on a whim like he did.”

“You really think so? I’m sure his work wouldn’t hold a candle to yours, sunbae.” 

“I only accept genuine compliments and not flattery, Miss Jieun. But you can trust my judgment.” 

Jieun laughs shyly as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. She’d been meeting up with Sehun every now and then at the various cafes he recommended. His words weren’t just for show when he initially offered to help her study; as expected from a teacher’s assistant, his attentive and dedicated attitude shined through - the difference being that their sessions took place in a more intimate setting. 

It wasn’t an overstatement to call Sehun a campus heartthrob. Jieun knows it and her friends know it better. Sporting a mixture of good looks, favorable personality and impressive extracurricular background, Sehun’s reputation stood out as more than just an ordinary name in the faculty. Their sightings together have generated a bit of buzz that Jieun wasn’t used to receiving. They think she’s lucky; she hears the whispers of those who want to know about their relationship, a nosy case of “will they won’t they”.

“By the way, did you hear the premiere of ‘Mozart!’ got delayed a few weeks?” 

“Oh! The same production our university is putting on next semester?” A fascinating piece of trivia Jieun learned was Sehun’s extensive knowledge on musicals. Much of it was influenced by his older friend Junmyeon, who starred in many throughout his university career. 

“That one. Junmyeon hyung got casted for the titular role, isn’t that cool? We meant to see it this weekend as character study but now it’s up in the air.” Sehun sighs with slight disappointment. “Hyung’s been so busy lately, I dunno if we can snatch up tickets a second time.”

Jieun offers a sympathetic smile. “But it’s more than just a trivial character study. You want to see the musical and you want to spend more time with Junmyeon sunbae, right?” 

“Yeah, both are mutually exclusive and true. I’d also be down to watch with someone else, as long as I’m not going alone.” He’s comfortable with her too. Jieun doesn’t doubt Sehun might be insinuating the possibility of inviting her to see the musical, but she doesn’t try to read into it. 

She enjoys Sehun’s company. It’s calming, the kind of calm that makes her feel safe to behave in mannerisms atypical of her usually reserved self. Jieun wants to play herself up a little, just to see where it would take her. These days she’s become more careful with how she presents herself; spending extra time styling her hair, polishing her makeup, tweaking minor details that would enhance her features in subtle yet striking angles. It would be embarrassing if her peers thought he was out of her league.

The last rays of sunset had disappeared by the time the two wrapped up. “Didn’t mean to run today’s session so late, hopefully I didn’t take up more time than necessary.” Sehun appears apologetic as he holds the door open for Jieun to exit the cafe. 

“It’s fine, sunbae. We started late because my classes ended later today. I don’t have other plans to rush to.” Jieun reassures him brightly. Their conversations strayed from academics midway as it often did, not that either of them minded.

“Then do you wanna grab dinner together? There’s a ton of good restaurants in the area.”

Sooyoung was right. He certainly wouldn’t do this for anyone. And frankly, it was exciting, being fancied by a handsome senior. Labeling their relationship as friends was easy but there was potential for something more. It was just a matter of who’d try initiating first. 

But if he were the one to initiate, Jieun doesn’t know if she was quite ready to take the next step.

“Sure, we can do that.”

 

 

Jieun hates unnecessary prolonging. A couple nights have passed and she’s growing restless. 

Baekhyun hasn’t reached out to her. Granted, the deadline’s far in the distant horizon, it was a weekend, and neither of them had each other’s socials. The real problem lies in Jieun’s orderly compulsion that their project has been mull

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pastelmari
It's been a while hasn't it? I'll have a short interlude ready soon while I get back into continuing the story

Comments

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SummerLuv 0 points #1
Chapter 13: Oh no, he's gonna fall again I guess 😬 take your time! Some of us are still here 😃
Baekhyunsoul
0 points #2
Chapter 13: Patiently waiting on these two to realize they’re perfect for each other :)
I have such respect for anyone who writes and shares anything; I hope you overcome the block, I can only imagine how frustrating that is.
Have you listened to Dean’s new song? He featured on a song with Tabber called Chik-ka that I really liked
Shawolgurl
0 points #3
Chapter 13: I'm still here!!! I would be very happy if you continue writing this story <333
Sey-ra
0 points #4
Chapter 13: I love their banter,pliz continue.........
Baekkyoongja
0 points #5
Chapter 13: Oooh i love their sweet everyday day convo but somehow deep. Ah am torn sorry sehun. I guess am rooting for baek but i hope he really means it with her and forget his past. Thank you for the update authornim
SummerLuv #6
Chapter 12: I can totally forget about sehun's existent in this chapter 😂 THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!
SummerLuv #7
Chapter 11: Oooooh that shirt and its scent!!! Hahaha, the dynamic between baekhyun and jieun is different, more sparkly than jieun and sehun I guess? Also, she is kinda able to be more of herself when she's with baekhyun than trying to live up to a certain image with sehun.
SummerLuv #8
Chapter 8: Noooooo that's some messed up right there 🥲
SummerLuv #9
Chapter 6: Kinda unfair for Baekhyun that Jieun has been treating him so differently from the beginning as tho he's some bad lol. Poor him always trying to be better around her while she still has her own prejudice against him 🥲
SummerLuv #10
Chapter 5: The both of them hiding things from their pasts... This is gonna be intresting. Also, I'm still wondering how did Baekhyun know her name?