CHOONHAE

Every muscle in my body hurt. Like every last one.

My throat felt raw, and I was shivering. Was I feverish?

I wiped the sweat from my brow as I entered my dorm room. Chuckling laughter met me, and to my utter dismay, I saw my very popular roommate Billie surrounded by her two 'bodyguards', Keita and Matthew, and three other guys. They were sitting on her lower bunk bed, staring at a phone screen and a video. She wasn't even supposed to have a phone in here.

I just wanted some peace and quiet after a long hard day of practice and me stumbling through every move. My group was a one-star mess, and I wasn't sure I would still be here after that first elimination.

Billie had been drafted in the All-Star group, and if it weren't for her obvious talents, I would think she had some siren in there somewhere. All guys flocked to her like bees to honey.

My top bunk bed roomy wasn't here. Bongcha was the absolute worst, and whenever she could, she would bully me. I was relieved she was nowhere to be seen.

Billie's top bunk bed roomy, the half Korean- half American Nina, was lounging on her bed, headphones on and softly singing the lyrics to her first performance song. She was a three-star level and would be performing Stray Kid's Easy.

All eyes in the room turned to me except Nina. She was still occupied in her thoughts.

"Oh hey!" Billie gave me a wide smile. She was wearing the signature pink jogging set they had gifted to every girl in the competition. Her hair was wet from a recent shower. She must have been able to close practice at a reasonable hour.

Matthew and Keita greeted me with as much enthusiasm. Last night with some Soju in my system, I had found my sociable self, who was always buried deep and came out with alcohol.

However, the Choonhae they would be getting today would be a lot different.

I gave them a feeble wave and a tired smile. I was trying to up my energy.

The other three I recognized suddenly. Two of them were Keita and Matthew's roommates, Ricky and Jay. And the last one was my first-day neighbor, Yujin. I had not seen or spoken to him since the auditions.

"You look flushed, girl," Billie said honestly. "Sit down, eat a protein bar, and rest a little bit." She jumped from between the pile of guys and hurried my way. It was at that time Nina acknowledged me too. Dropping her earbuds and waving.

I sat down on my bed, and my knees were shaking so badly that I wasn't sure I would be making it to the shower. I wasn't sure I would be able to walk tomorrow.

"Competition is not for everyone," one of the guys said and chuckled. I glanced at the other bunk bed with a frown. That was not a nice thing to say. Billie agreed and was flipping the culprit the middle finger while fussing with my jacket I was trying to remove but failing. Yujin rolled his eyes at Billie, and I felt hurt he would say such a thing right now.

Keita scowled some words his way. "Not everyone has had the training you've had, Yujin. Be mindful."

Thank you, Keita.

I explained to him last night that I was just a six-month-old trainee with little experience. My twin brother, who was also in this competition, had been doing it for a year and had convinced me to sign with his company. The two of us had always cherished the same dream, and despite my many fears, insecurities, and shyness, I still was accepted. My manager had seen something in me she had said, and I appreciated those words more than anything.

Billie rammed a cranberry protein bar my way. I had to catch it before it landed straight in my mouth. I might be the maknae here, but this feeding thing would take it too far. Besides, Billie was only two years older than me anyway! I wasn't a baby.

"Thanks, Billie," I sighed while taking a tiny bite. I had missed dinner, yet my stomach churned. It couldn't handle food right now. I was afraid I was going to hurl like earlier.

"So Choonhae," It was Yujin again. I crunched some more protein bar between long teeth as I gave him tired eyes. "Why are you here? Why become an idol."

ing .

"Why not?" I replied stoically.

It was a good question because why the heck would I not?

Music was my absolute passion, and I wanted nothing more than to tell all girls like me to go after their dreams, despite the odds.