the microphone is at before she can realize what's happening. she doesn't like the attention at this point. the crowd cheers, she doesn't know what to do. all she sees is joohyun's expecting eyes, the smile on her face. and the microphone, the microphone is in her face. her job is to sing and she'll do it till her dying day so she just--

"happy birthday to you," she sings, gesturing for the crowd to sing along.

thankfully, they do. they all sing again and it's a little funny moment for them how seungwan is being goofy again. she's sneaky like that and only mumbles over the loud crowd. she feels her eyes on her and with a glance she reads the whole situation.

she knows joohyun.

she knows how she looks when she's asleep, when she just gets up, she's seen her drooling and when she's hungry she is frowning all the time. she dances to stupid songs, seungwan finds herself singing along. joohyun grabs her hand when she walks past and spins her around. she gets dizzy all the time.

the "i'll give all my love to wendy", the moment she read that. what does it mean? what does it mean, her heart beats the words out. it's like mumbling "i don't know" and the other person understands.

she's nothing. the moon during the dark night. one would say it lights up the darkness but seungwan thinks it's useless. most of the people are asleep and no one gets to see it. only lonely souls, only the lonely.

and joohyun is not lonely. joohyun, who goes out all the time. she has no friends that love the cameras and it's a blessing and a curse because sometimes seungwan doesn't get to see her. she'd lay in her bed, knowing that joohyun's is empty now.

she's a spy. someone hired her to find out more about bae joohyun and she's doing a spectacular job so far. she hypnotizes herself -- she's not in love, she's undercover. she's not seungwan at the moment when joohyun smiles at her in a way that gives her hope. no, she's merely someone who has changed personas.

and joohyun gets angry. she gets angry at the things lovers do.

"why did you hold his hand, seungwan?" joohyun asks, her tone harsh, she's quiet in the hallway but her voice is loud.

seungwan can't raise her eyes from the floor.

"and what about our fans, seungwan?" joohyun demands to know, seungwan imagines she's saying and what about me?

she's making her feel crazy, talking to herself, pacing in her room.

a moon has been concurred before, you know? someone named neil armstrong had landed on it and put up a flag. just like that, there's joohyun standing on her small back, proudly showing off a pink flag, look! a huge step for humanity.

seungwan looks out of the window and waits. she hears the door creak and the footsteps on the floor. one shoe, the other, and then socks sliding. joohyun is weird like that, when she's in a good mood she doesn't walk, she slides. seungwan gets up and peeks outside her room. she keeps her doors open, she says everyone is welcome but she's actually keeping it for this reason alone. she watches her. not in a creepy way. she's just analyzing, taking care of her. joohyun is sitting down, crinkling a paper bag on the table. what did she buy?

seungwan can't see.

"walk me home." joohyun whines.

they live together. seungwan imagines they are done with a date and seungwan would swoop in. here, babe, i will walk you home.

"manager is mad when we go around alone."

it's like that. one step forward and then you're in the middle of the cold sea with no way of knowing in which direction is the shore.

she doesn't cry often but seungwan does. she gets frustrated when she gets into arguments and when she's upset she can't keep her emotions in check. she's always been like that. joohyun is like a goddamn machine, she'll it all up until there is nothing showing on her face. seungwan would get her nose red, cheeks flushed, and tears, tears, tears. and they argue a lot. actually, no, they argue less these days. they don't talk at all.

joohyun shoots her a look on stage and breaks her own rule. seungwan wants to go: aha! here, you see! you did it, you did it, you see what you did? but when seungwan does it, it's wrong and inappropriate and leave the emotions out of work, we're not children, seungwan.

here, a doll. seungwan picks it up and gives it to joohyun. to her surprise joohyun stares at the rabbit doll and takes it. she grins. seungwan's heart goes: great.. here we go again. her mind goes: great!! here we go again!! she stares at joohyun with open. joohyun is beautiful.

she waits until seungwan is done practicing for the big note. seungwan practices until she can taste blood but she won't tell joohyun that. she has to keep up a good impression for her. to joohyun who is leaning against the mirrors and snoozing. the pink hair is a great touch, their company is so smart that they gave each of them a different color. totally something original. she knows her career is looking up. for sure. seungwan crouches down in front of joohyun, ready to wake her.

but.

joohyun is kind of bea