Footsteps echoed across the wooden floor. The woman walked towards the armchair by the fireplace. In one of her hands, she carried a small pile of letters, and in the other, a cup of tea. The silk nightgown covered most of her body, reaching just below her knees and covering her arms to her wrists. It fitted her perfectly. The quality of the fabric, the finest stitches, indicated her status. Delicate like the woman who wore it, though not warm enough for the last few days of the winter. For this, the fireplace would provide the heat.

The day was particularly long today, although she wasn’t sure why. It had been an ordinary day like any other. Maybe she was just tired of staying home. Yes, that might be the problem. Perhaps it would be a good time to propose another family trip. Somewhere warm, a place they could enjoy the sun and maybe swim like she used to do in her childhood. Although, she didn’t do it that much since her parents were always busy, and most of her siblings preferred to do their things. Still, she used to enjoy summer days by the lake with her sisters.

The woman sat down in the chair and tucked her feet under herself. She put the teacup on the small table beside her and started leafing through the letters. One is about the recent tax increase, as they never seemed to go down. The new mayor was a mercenary like every other before him, although he was not the worse one they had, that she knew for sure. There was one from her older brother that made her smile brightly. It had been a long time since he last had written to her. The one from her mother left a bitter taste in . Their relationship was complicated, and she wasn’t sure they could mend it after so much time. One wasn’t addressed to her, so she didn’t open it.

The last one made her intrigued. It didn’t have a sender. But it was addressed to her as her name was the only thing written on the envelope. The handwriting was oddly familiar. She traced the letters with her fingers, and her eyes became moist as she recognized them. She didn’t know how many years had passed… but she could never forget them. The woman brought the envelope to her chest as if it could provide the warmth it had given her the last time she had seen the sender.

She wanted to read it right away, but she got interrupted. A small voice called her from the hall.

“Mommy?”

A little girl, who couldn’t have been more than seven years old, called out to her. An old gray teddy bear with one of his eyes missing rested in her arms.

“Yes, baby? Shouldn’t you be in bed?” The mother asked, her voice in a fond tone. She blinked rapidly, not wanting her daughter to see her unfallen tears.

“I don’t want to sleep right now. I want to hear a story.” She approached quickly, her steps drowning out the sound of the crackling fireplace.

“I already told you one today.” The woman remembered and pretended to think hard. “I think it was five minutes ago when I put you to bed. Don’t you remember?”

“I know.” The child giggled as she went to her mother's lap on the armchair. “But Mr. Snuggles said he wants to hear another one.” She pointed to the old teddy bear.

“Oh, Mr. Snuggles said that?” The mother asked, amused by how eagerly her daughter nodded. “I guess if Mr. Snuggles wants it, we can’t deny him, right? He’s such a sweet boy.”

“Yes, mommy! He's a sweet bear.” The child corrected, moving the bear to the front of her mother’s face as if she couldn’t have seen him before. The little girl then said in an odd voice. “I want to hear another story.”

“Okay then, what kind of story do you want to hear, Mr. Snuggles?”

“I want... I mean, Mr. Snuggles wants to hear a love story.”

“A love story? Like auntie and…”.

“No!” The little girl interrupted, shaking her head. “I already heard that one thousand times. I want a new one. Please, mommy, a new one.” She asked, joining her hands in front of her face. Mr. Snuggles getting squished between her arms. Her big eyes looked at her mother with expectation.

“I think I know one, but I don’t know if I should tell you. It’s for big girls only.”

The woman had a story to tell, a different one. She had thought about telling it to her daughter many times since the little girl was very fond of stories. But at first, she thought she was too young to understand, and after she got a bit older, it never seemed the right time. Love was never an easy topic, at least not for everyone. In her life, she had seen many examples of people getting married for appearance and status. People staying together for convenience, not for love. But she had also seen people learning to love and falling in love at first sight.

“Please, mother, tell me.” The girl begged, her voice growing louder. “I’m a big girl! I’ll even put my toys away when you ask me, I swear!”

“You will?” The little girl nodded eagerly once more. “I guess I could tell you since you’re a big girl.”

“Yes!” She celebrated.

The child got cozy in her mother's arms, holding Mr. Snuggles, and waited for the woman to start.

“I’m not sure where I should start.” The woman stopped and took a breath, sighing.

She has never needed to tell this story to anyone before. Most people in her life already knew, and the ones who didn’t wouldn’t know the right question to hear the answer. The years had passed, and she knew she probably wouldn’t remember much of the details. It was a long story with many starting points. But it only had one end.

“Ah, I think here’s going to be good.” She cleared and then started. “Once upon a time, there was a man, a very ambitious one…”.

 

___________________________________________________________________

 

Mr. Shin was an ambitious man. He was one of the wealthy men in town, but it wasn’t enough for him. Mr. Shin wanted money but also wanted power. That’s why he was running to become mayor. He and his wife very carefully built the image they wanted others to see of them and their six children. Polite, pretty, and better. Above everything, they needed to be better, according to his terms.

The house they lived in was tremendous, the largest in the region. Their land was so vast that you could easily get lost in their gardens. So many different flowers and a lake completed the vision around. Besides the Shin’s, some servants also lived there, expected to attend to the family necessities at any moment requested.

On that particular day, the house was full of them, walking from room to room making sure everything was in order. At the same time, others finished the final details of the decoration. Nothing could be out of place as they expected many guests that night.

Mr. Shin was locked in his office, working on his speech. The dinner was the perfect opportunity to promote his campaign and to make allies, as important guests would also come. Mrs. Shin, on the other hand, was busy making sure everything was in the right place. A perfect house should be the reflection of a flawless family. That was what she believed.

“You!” The matriarch called, already walking in quick steps in the direction of the servant. “What is this?”

The girl was holding a vase full of white carnations. The pale flowers were completely out of keeping with the crimson red that decorated the house. She opened to say something, but the older woman kept talking before she could speak.

“These are not the flowers I asked. Are you blind? Can’t you see that all other arrangements are with red roses?”

“I apologize, ma'am.” The servant girl hurriedly said, her anxious eyes looking everywhere but the woman’s face. “I… I…”

“You what?”

“Mother, you shouldn’t scare the poor girl.” A voice came from the stairs, interrupting.

A young woman, Shin’s middle daughter, Ryujin, was coming down in her usual blue dress. It wasn’t frivolous like the one her mother wore. It was much plainer as she often opted for comfort, not for beauty. The servant girl, out of the ordinary as it was, wore pants and a shirt. The clothes didn’t seem to belong to her besides the fact that women shouldn’t wear pants outside of the military. They were too big on her skinny body.

“Yeji here was just doing me a favor. I asked for the flowers.” She told her mother, who still didn’t look very pleased.

The servant girl, Yeji, finally let herself breathe with the other girl approaching. She never liked to be alone with Mrs. Shin for too long. The older woman always had something to complain about, never to compliment. Her face seemed petrified in a dreary expression, only smiling when it was necessary. Her presence never failed to make Yeji uncomfortable.

“Well, then you take this.” The older Shin took the vase from Yeji’s hands and pushed it into her daughter’s. “I need her working, not satisfying your foolish wishes.” She turned away from her daughter, back to the servant. “Get back to work.”

“Yes, ma’am” She bowed and walked back outside the house, disappearing from their line of vision.

“You’re impossible sometimes.” Ryujin snorted. She hated how her mother talked, the arrogance almost dripping from . She walked back to the stairs to her room, not wanting to be in the matriarch's presence a second longer.

Mrs. Shin didn’t even listen, already making her way across the hall, barking orders and complaints to the others.

Ryujin stopped at the entrance of her room and watched for a moment. The space was great and didn’t have much furniture besides the bed and the wardrobe, though her favorite was the writing desk she had personally asked the best craftsman in town to make. A few sheets of paper lay scattered on top of it – the result of her early morning inspiration. Some droplets of ink stained the table permanently, and the writing quill remained in his spot on the pot. The only mess in her room, as it was the only place she didn’t allow the servants to clean. Ryujin chose to put the flower vase on her desk. The white flowers matched the color of the paper spread out in a beautiful contradiction of order and mess.

She couldn’t help but smile, satisfied. Carnations were her favorite flower. They had a delicate smell and were simple plants, easy to take care of, but they weren’t common in this region. The house garden had a small flower bed with them, but only white ones. A true treasure, not appreciated enough if you would ask her. Though she wished it would have more in different colors.

She approached the window, watching the people outside. Ryujin couldn't see the front of the house from her room, which was busier. But, she had a clear view of most of the rose garden. Most flowers were harvested, but the vision remained beautiful either way. And right in the middle of the field, the servant girl picked the cut and fallen leaves.

Yeji had been working with the Shin family since she was a kid. Her mother had been a servant when she was healthy, working in the kitchen. Yeji had grown up with the other kids who lived there, although she didn’t have permission to interact with them. And as the years passed, she would see the Shin kids even less as they had enrolled in school, a privilege reserved only for the richest, and she started to work.

Unlike her mother, she wasn't very skilled in the kitchen. She was rather clumsy and often told to get out of the way. And as she did, she found refuge in the deepest parts of the gardens. The Shin family was rarely there. And when they were, they opted for the most open areas at the front of the house. The lake only appreciated on the hot summer days. Nobody noticed her presence. Thus the flowers became her passion and the gardens her paradise. She could spend the whole day there, taking care of every flower. No one talked to her if it wasn’t related to her work, no one but one person.

The sweat started to drip on her face, and Yeji used the back of her gloved hands to clean it. The sun was at its peak, signaling the middle of the day and the approaching lunchtime. She had been working all morning, picking flowers and cleaning the garden. She would much prefer to make all the flower arrangements herself. Most of the servants didn’t work with the flowers regularly or did not care enough about the correct way they should be harvested, often opting for the fastest way. It worked, but the flower usually paid the price. Yeji was used to working extra these days, repairing all the damage done to the flower beds.

She stopped her work, took off her gloves, and put them in her pocket. She patted her hands on her shirt, not bothering that it was getting dirty. Yeji walked to the back of the house, where the kitchen was. Half of the servants already took their break, and it was time for the other half, Yeji included. The steamy fish soup was served in a wooden pot with old bread and water in a wooden cup. The meat and the fresh bread were reserved for the Shin family and the guests, just like the silverware.

Most servants chose to eat their food inside the kitchen. Or under the large trees at the back of the house. Yeji preferred to be in a quiet place, away from the others. That’s why she usually chose to sit close to the carnations flower bed, a little spot after most of the trees, close to the lake. Hidden by the tall bushes and trees around, where she couldn’t be seen, couldn’t be found.

She ate her food at a calm pace, enjoying the momentary peace. The bread was a little too stiff, so she only ate half. Once done, she went to stand closer to the lake. Yeji took what was left of the bread and began to break it into crumbs, throwing it at the lake in small portions. The fish appeared seconds after, enjoying the treat. The small ones soon lost their space to the bigger ones, getting pushed away. As it often happens in nature.

She heard footsteps approaching but didn’t bother turning around. Yeji already knew who it was.

“Hey, I’m sorry by the way mother talked to you. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have asked for you to bring the flowers today.” Ryujin said, standing a few steps away behind her.

“It’s alright, miss.” Yeji didn’t look at her. She threw the last crumb of bread, watching one last time as the fish ate.

Ryujin stood beside her, both looking at the lake in silence. Close enough to feel each other heat but not to touch.

“The carnations are beautiful. I liked them very much, thank you.” Ryujin spoke again. A softer tone this time as if she was telling a secret.

“You’re welcome, miss,” Yeji said, her hands resting beside her body. Her fingers twitched as she suppressed the urge to put her hands in her pocket. A part of her desperately wanted to walk away without looking back. At the lakeshore, even if it was far from people’s curious eyes, it felt too exposed at that moment.

“I… Can you please not refer to me as miss?”

“I’m sorry… Ryujin.” The name left in a whisper, only for them to hear.

The girl smiled upon hearing her name. Her hand found the hand of the servant girl, interlacing their fingers. Ryujin's hand was soft, and Yeji's was calloused. But they fit in a way only opposites can do. Their grip was firm, safe. It kept them together.

“I finished another chapter from the story,” Ryujin told her, playing with their fingers. Her head rested on the slightly taller girl's shoulder. “I thought about reading to you, but I knew you would be busy today. You’ll come to the dinner, right?”

“Today isn’t a good day for reading classes.” Yeji agreed, her eyes closed for a second, trying to calm her anxious heart. At this time, no one would be walking around close to the lake. They’re safe. She wet her lips with her tongue before continuing. “I’m not sure if I can make it tonight.”

“Please, you have to come. I’ll even save a dance for you.” Ryujin begged, stepping in front of her. “I know it’s going to be a boring dinner for the most part, but it would be way more tolerable with you there.”

“That’s what I’m to you? A way to make things tolerable?”

“You’re not… Stop making fun of me.” She slapped the taller girl in the arm once she saw she was holding her smile. “It doesn’t suit you to be so mocking.”

“Should I leave that part just for you, then?” Yeji couldn’t help but smile seeing the little pout on Ryujin’s face.

“Yes. That way, I can tease you like this.” Ryujin took a step closer, and the smile immediately disappeared from Yeji’s face. Their faces close, their lips only a touch away. “You’re not so smiley right now. What happened, I wonder?”

Yeji felt run dry again. Though this time, she didn’t dare to wet her lips with her tongue, afraid the slight movement could bring their lips together. Her eyes focused on Ryujin’s lips. She imagined if they were as soft as her hand touch, warm as a needed hug. Probably better, but she couldn’t know. Though she desperately wanted to.

When Ryujin finally moved, Yeji closed her eyes tight. She could hear her heart beating fast in her ears and her hands becoming sweaty. Part of her still wanted to run, but again she didn’t. And the waited kiss also didn’t come, at least not on her lips. Ryujin’s mouth found its way to her cheek, leaving a kiss that couldn't have lasted more than a second. Maybe two.

“I’ll wait for you tonight,” Ryujin said, walking back.

Yeji could only nod her head. Her words suddenly disappeared in her foggy mind, and her cheeks were bright red. The sight made Ryujin giggle.

“I love you.” The words left before she could stop herself.

It was as if the world had stopped for a second. Yeji's eyes opened upon hearing that, and they looked at each other, feeling the weight of these three little words. It felt terrifying in a way it shouldn’t be.

Because a daughter of a powerful family should never love a servant girl, Ryujin shouldn’t love Yeji.

But she did.

“I… I…” Her words got caught in . “I have to go.” Ryujin's voice barely came out as she dashed past the stunned girl.

Yeji let her go. For someone who felt so much like running, her feet never felt more stuck to the ground.

Ryujin kept running without looking back. She passed through the trees and the flower gardens. Going straight back inside the house. She almost bumped into her younger brother on her way in and heard him saying something, but the sound of her beating heart muffled his words as she kept running, going up the stairs. Ryujin didn’t stop until she was in her room and threw herself in bed. Her arms immediately wrapped themselves around the gray teddy bear lying on her bed, trying to find comfort, anything that would help her to keep calm.

They had been so careful, avoiding everything and everyone. No one knew they had gotten close. No one knew they were friends. No one knew they could be something more. Ryujin always thought they would get caught someday. She hoped it would be by one of her sisters and prayed it wouldn’t be one of her parents. In all that time, she had never considered she could screw everything up before something even happened. She never thought she would be the one to break their promise, not like this.

She couldn’t believe she had confessed to Yeji in such a way. So unplanned, out of nowhere. It just came out, as she never felt like she had complete control of herself around the girl.

“Stupid girl.” She kept mumbling to herself. “You’re a fool, Shin Ryujin. So stupid.”

It wasn’t a surprise that Ryujin loved Yeji. No, that’s not it.

How could she not love her? That was the real question.

***

Two years earlier.

 

The red rose garden was the biggest one in the whole Shin mansion. It stands in big bushes full of flowers until an arc opens to a small open space. Some white rose flower beds decored the place, giving a peaceful feeling. A gazebo made of wood stood at the center with a table for afternoon tea under his shade. A very used space during summer and spring days, mostly.

The girl walked for the flower path until she reached. In one of her hands, a piece of paper and a quill. On the other, a pot with ink. She hummed to a song she didn’t know the lyrics, but the melody didn’t get out of her head as she often heard her older sister singing it. It was late afternoon, and she had finished all of her tasks. So the girl knew she was less likely to be bothered by her mother, especially not being inside the house.

She sat down and started writing. Not the poetry her parents wanted her to learn as she often found them boring. She much preferred stories. About kings and queens, and knights and empires. Like the ones she sometimes read in the library of the house. Despite that, her father had thrown most of them away, saying she shouldn’t be distracted by silly stories and must stay focused on her studies. That was when she decided she would write her own story.

She had just started writing a new page when the wind blew away the paper. She tried to catch it, but it went out of her reach, stopping right before someone's foot. It made the girl freeze as the person took it and brought it to her face, looking at its contents.

“Don’t read that!” Ryujin screamed, scaring the person.

She recognized who it was immediately once the paper wasn’t blocking her face anymore. The girl a mud-stained dress and a pair of boots, very different from the one Ryujin wore. It was of a much simpler fabric and lacked color. The girl was a servant, a gardener. Ryujin remembered looking down her window sometimes and seeing the girl pick some flowers or just standing in the kitchen on other days. She couldn’t remember the presence of the girl very much. The house had a lot of servants.

“I’m sorry, miss.” She said, looking down.

“You didn’t read, did you?” Ryujin asked as she took the paper from her hand, hiding behind her back.

“No, miss. I don’t know how to read.”

“But you would if you could?”

The question made the girl finally look at her, and she quickly denied it with her head.

“No, miss. I wouldn’t dare.” She said hurriedly, her hands up in defense.

“Chill, I’m just messing with you. It’s nothing good anyway.” Ryujin’s words turned bitter by the end.

The first time she wrote a story, Ryujin excitedly showed it to her mother first. It was a silly story. About a girl who wanted to learn how to fly so, she could fly away and live with birds. The Shin matriarch had read and laughed at her face, saying it was stupid since a person and a bird are very different. People couldn’t fly, and she was wasting time thinking and writing about that. Ryujin was ten years old at that time.

She kept writing, despite that. The library of the house used to be her favorite place. Ryujin would hide in between the bookshelves and spend the whole day reading. She would often sneak some books into her room so that she could read at night too. Her favorite part was to write after, inspired by the books she had read, imagining new characters and new adventures. At first, her parents weren’t bothered by that, more focused on her older brother, Chan, and the preparations for his wedding. Once the boy had moved away, Ryujin and her older sister Jisu became the focus. And then her time in the library began to be seen as a nuisance, an obstacle to her studies. So her dad threw most books away, leaving only the historical ones and poetry.

The library became empty. But her dad could never throw away a book he didn’t know they owned, so she never stopped writing.

Unfortunately, there were days when her mother would catch her writing and throw her papers away. Sometimes, the servants would find her stories and deliver them directly to her father, and she would never see them again. Ryujin found this unfair, as Jisu could practice music, but she couldn’t practice writing.

“Jisu has a gift. She’s a very talented singer. It’s very eye-catching, and people love to hear her sing during festivities. It will help her get married. Writing, on the other hand, if it was poetry, I could understand, but silly stories? That won’t take you anywhere.” It was what her mother had said at the time. “It’s not like you’re good at writing them anyway.” And she had walked away, leaving a stunned Ryujin behind.

“If you spend so much time doing it… then it must be good in some way.” The girl said, taking Ryujin out of her memories.

It was so low she almost hadn’t listened.

“How would you know? If you don’t know how to read?”

The servant girl stayed in silence. Her cheeks became a light shade of red, and she looked down again.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was inconsiderate of me.” Ryujin quickly apologized and took a deep breath before she continued. “It’s just that I want to write something nice, but I don’t have anyone to show. My parents said writing is stupid and it’s not a helpful skill. I can’t show Jisu because she won’t take me seriously. Yuna is too young, and Jisung won’t care. Chan doesn’t live here anymore, and Jeongin is a baby. The maids would probably tell my mother and my best friend is about to move to America. You can go and tell my parents if you want. I don’t think I care anymore.”

Ryujin turned her back to her and started to walk away. She didn’t have much to lose anymore. So why care if she got caught by her parents again? They would probably punish her by saying she couldn’t meet her friend. But why would matter since her only friend wasn’t even there?

“I won’t tell your parents.”

Those words made her stop and look back, surprised.

“You won’t?”

“I don’t have any reason to.” The servant girl said.

It was sincere. Ryujin could see that, although she couldn’t understand why. Growing up in the middle of a political family there weren’t many people that were genuinely sincere with her.

“What's your name?” She asked, curious.

“It’s Yeji, miss.”

“So tell me, Yeji. Would you like to hear the story I’m writing?”

The servant girl's eyes went wide. She was shocked by such a request.

“I wouldn't want to intrude. And besides, I have work to do, miss.” Yeji said, stepping back. “I should probably go anyway. Miss Jisu asked to pick some white roses for her room.”

“You wouldn’t intrude since I’m asking you. Besides if you listen to my story…”. Ryujin seemed to ponder for a moment, walking the distance the servant girl was trying to put. “I could teach you how to read.” She concluded, her eyes full of excitement.

That made Yeji stop. The idea was good. She wanted to learn how to read.

At first, Yeji didn’t care much about the fact she couldn’t read. She worked all day with plants. Everything she knew was thanks to mister Lee, the old gardener. Before he retired, as he became too old to work, Mr. Lee told her every secret about every flower he knew. She never actually needed to read. Her mother had never learned and was fine like that. So Yeji thought she and her older brother, Hyunjin, would never need to.

That was before Hyunjin had enlisted in the army. The boy end up moving away, and they rarely got any news about him. In the military, they got reading and writing classes. But even after receiving his letters, not Yeji nor her mother could read them. Reading and writing were a privilege for the rich, and most weren’t interested in reading a letter for two servants. Yeji’s mother would never dare to ask one of the Shin’s to read for her. She worked there the double Yeji’s age, and she was sure none of them knew her name.

But if Yeji could learn to read, they wouldn’t need to ask.

Though one thing still bothered her.

“Won’t your parents be mad about it, miss?” Yeji asked carefully.

That almost made the excitement disappear from Ryujin’s face.

“Right. My parents probably won’t like it, but they don’t need to know.” She started walking back and forth in front of Yeji, thinking. “They’re not home all the time, but the other servants also shouldn’t know about it. Someone might tell them. Maybe we could hide somewhere.”

“I think I might know a place, miss,” Yeji said.

The Shin family might be the owners, but Yeji knew more about the land than anyone. As she grew up, her mother took her to work most days. She didn’t like to spend her days bored in the kitchen, so she often played with other servants’ kids at the back of the house, away from the view. Now that she worked in the gardens, Yeji was sure she knew every inch of the terrain, including hiding spots.

“Perfect. I’ll think about what time we should do it so it won’t interfere with my tasks and your work.” Ryujin was very excited about this. She could barely contain herself.

“Alright, miss.” Yeji just agreed with a small smile on her face. She couldn’t help but get caught up by the other girl's enthusiasm.

“Just one more thing before I let you go.” Ryujin said, getting serious again. “You’ll need to stop calling me miss.”

“But miss...” Yeji hesitates.

“Call me Ryujin.”

“Miss Shin, I must insist...”.

It wasn’t right. They were not friends, and even if they were. She still was her employer's daughter.

“Ryujin. My name is Ryujin.” The girl insisted.

Yeji could see in her eyes that she wouldn’t back down. It left her without much choice. So she nodded, defeated. And Ryujin smiled big, her first genuine smile in a long time.

“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She walked away, leaving Yeji standing there.

The servant girl wasn’t quite sure what just had happened, but she thought it would be best to get back to work.

Tomorrow still would come.

And it did.

The next day, as Yeji went with her work, cutting some poison ivy before it could infest the lilies flower bed at the front of the house, she almost cut a whole branch of flowers as Ryujin suddenly appeared behind her. The girl had approached in light steps, or maybe Yeji was too focused on her work to notice her coming. Either way, it made her fall on her .

“Hi!” Ryujin said. She stepped back in surprise as Yeji fell seated. “Sorry, did I scare you?”

“No, miss. I was just surprised.” Yeji was quick to get back to her feet. Her hands dusted her dress, trying to look a bit more presentable.

“Oh, sorry. I should’ve been more careful.”

“It’s alright, miss. I should’ve paid more attention.”

“Hey, what did I say about calling me miss?”

“I’m sorry, mi… I’m sorry.” Yeji opted not to say her name. She still didn’t think it was right.

Ryujin could only sigh beyond that.

“We will get there.” She said. Yeji nodded, unsure. “Anyway, my parents went to town a few minutes ago,