When her teammates bring up the idea of having a house party together at the start of the week, Yongsun instantly knows it’s a bad idea. She even says so outright, but it’s drowned out by the exuberant replies of the rest of her teammates, all of whom are still riding the high of their latest team win and are looking for an outlet to celebrate. In the end she’s outvoted.

“It’s going to be fun,” Chorong, the track and field Vice-Captain says, poking Yong’s side teasingly as they pack up the equipment together, the other members echo their agreement. “We all deserve it! Plus, it’ll be our last thing together before half the team graduates in February. You have to go!”

Yong sighs, already defeated. “Fine, fine.”

The cheers that meet this statement are loud enough to echo across their high school’s track and field team. Yong winces, but in the end she smiles. In a way, Chorong is right. After she graduates she may never see some of her teammates anymore, it would be good to do one last thing together before she leaves high school for good. 

“Can I–”

“Nope, no you can’t!” Joohyun, another teammate says, “no significant others or plus ones! Strictly track and field teammates only.”

Yong pouts, affronted, “You didn’t even know what I was going to say.”

Chorong and Joohyun share a wicked grin between them. “So you weren’t about to ask us if Byul-ah, your girlfriend and not a member of our Track and Field team, could tag along to the Track and Field Team house party?” Chorong asks. 

Yong looks away. “Maybe.”

Her friends burst into delighted giggles. “Don’t take it the wrong way,” Joohyun says, looping her arm through Yong’s as they head to the showers together. “We have nothing against you or Byul-ah. It’s just that, ah–how would you put it Chorong-ie?”

“Byul and Yong have a way of making anyone feel like a third wheel just by looking at each other?” 

“Yeah, exactly that.”

Yong rolls her eyes, nudging both her friends in the ribs even as they laugh good-naturedly. “We’re not that bad,” she tries to argue back. 

“No offense Yong,” Chorong says, “but even before The Insider outed you both, the two of you weren’t exactly subtle.”

“Yeah,” Joohyun agrees, her tone completely blasé as if she were commenting on the weather. “Besides, did you think Namjoon and his goonies were the only ones with a running betting pool of when you two would come out? I’m pretty sure half the academy gave a cheer when the…uh, you know.”

Yong winces. Sometimes it still felt like a sick fever dream, being outed by the Insider, going public with her relationship with Byul. Not that she regretted the latter, if anything, the past six months are some of the happiest she’s ever been. Still, she can’t help but wish that some things had gone just a bit differently.

She’s about to say something else when she catches sight of Byul waiting by the Track and Field gate. Chorong and Joohyun must notice too because they share another look between them before turning down the side path that leads to the girls’ showers. 

“We’ll see you Friday, okay Yong?”

She smiles at them, already waving. “Yes, I’ll be there!” She walks over to Byul and stops just a foot or so away from the fence, the chain link separating them. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Byul grins and it sends a pleasant pool of warmth down to the very core of her. “Where are we going Friday?”

Yong winces, but she easily masks it with a quick smirk “You’re staying at home, I’m going to a house party with the Track and Field team.”

“Oh,” Byul doesn’t look too bothered, but Yong’s known her long enough to hear the slight tinge of disappointment in her voice. 

She shrugs it off, “It’s just a team thing, you know? Bonding before half of us graduate.”

“Right.” Byul’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 

She feels her brows furrow. “Is something the matter?”

“No,” Byul says it too quickly, her voice pitched just a bit higher, aiming for nonchalance but missing the mark. Yong levels her with a stare. “I know when you’re lying.”

Her girlfriend does her the courtesy of looking a little shamefaced about it. “Later? I’ll tell you I promise.”

Yong purses her lips, but she nods. “Okay, later.”

Byul smiles, and through the chain link fence, she laces their fingers together, pressing a soft kiss against Yong’s knuckles. 

“Later,” She promises.

 

–

 

There’s a Gopchang restaurant near Hyejin’s house that they’ve been frequenting for dinner for the past few months. The food is good and the owner already knows them well enough to place extra kimchi on Yong and Byul’s side of the table as well as have fried rice ready the moment Hyejin asks for it.

It also happens to be their unspoken, unofficial location for discussing their theories on The Insider.

Ever since its creation, The Insider chat group has been posting religiously, at least  once a week, exposing the deepest, and darkest secrets of her fellow schoolmates. Just last week, it sent a picture of a poor underclass girl who had apparently been working part time at a seedy looking maid cafe. She hasn’t been back at school since.

She still finds the whole thing despicable, and after her own experience with the Insider, Yong has been actively trying to avoid the chat group every chance she gets. What she can’t help, however, is the single-minded obsession her friends seemed to have developed for discovering The Insider’s identity and exposing them in front of the whole school.

“I still think it’s someone from the Student Council,” Hyejin says through a mouthful of rice and gopchang. She chews, swallows, and continues, “You have access to all the student files, and the council office is located along the School’s Central Hallway. Anyone staying inside could easily eavesdrop for gossip during break hours or between classes.”

“No,” Yong counters, “we’ve been over this, including me, two council members have already been targeted. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Or it makes perfect sense!” Wheein says. “I mean, someone in the council could have figured out the thing between you and Byulie-unnie, or even that thing with the Council Treasurer.”

Yong bit back another retort. The truth is, she has entertained this very notion already, multiple times. But the thought of one of her fellow council members betraying her like this is too much to bear. 

“I think it’s too obvious.” Byul says, “Everyone’s probably thinking it’s someone from the council, and the Insider seems too smart for that.”

Yong smacks Byul on the shoulder, “Are you calling the council stupid?” 

All of them start laughing at this, but Yong also feels herself breathe a sigh of relief. She would really hate it if Hyejin and Wheein turned out to be right. 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Byul insists, once the laughter has died down. “I just think The Insider is someone more subtle. Perhaps someone hiding in plain sight.”

The conversation moves to different topics after that. To the upcoming play Hyejin’s drama club is putting up for the school festival and the posters she had commissioned Wheein’s art club to design for it. They’re all laughing about some preliminary sketches Wheein had made where Hyejin was the main character of the play when Wheein and Hyejin’s phones both lit up with notifications.

The two share a quick glance. Something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Yong. 

“What’s up?”

Wheein shrugs, nonchalant and unbothered, but it’s Hyejin who looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Her fingers twitching and already pressing into a thin line. 

Byul chuckles, “Hyejinnie can’t keep a secret to save her life, so just tell us already.”

Wheein glares at her best friend for a token amount of seconds before tapping on her phone screen and pulling up the messaging app.

Both Yong and Byul lean towards the phone as one. Reading the message once, then twice. 

“You’re–auditioning?”

Wheein flushes a bit as she ducks her head and nods. “We’re just going to try it out and see. Nothing’s set in stone yet. We might not even make it.”

“We sent in our audition tapes to a few companies last week.” Hyejin says, “One of them finally messaged us back with an in-person schedule so it’s a start. But we’re not keeping our hopes up.”

“Well you should!” Byul suddenly says, a little too loud and a little too forcefully. “Because you’re obviously going to make it!”

The tension in Wheein and Hyejin’s shoulders relax a bit, and their smiles grow a little hopeful and a lot more sincere.

Yong smiles at her friends but her eyes are drawn back to the expression on Byul’s face, and the unreadable expression there. 

 

–

 

The Track and Field team’s house party ends up being in Joohyun’s apartment complex, where she’s assured everyone that the rooftop patio will be empty and free for them to use for the evening. Yong and Chorong arrive at the building at the same time and end up taking the long elevator ride to the top together.

“I’m not surprised that the party ended up being here,” Chorong suddenly says, apropos of nothing.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

Her friend shrugs, “This complex is the closest to our academy, apparently quite a few students live here with their families too.”

When the elevator pings open, the first thing Yong hears is the sound of male laughter. She quickly turns to look at Chorong. “What’s this? I thought no one was allowed to bring plus ones?”

Chorong slings an arm through hers and pulls her deeper further into the patio. “They aren’t. It’s just the boys team. They heard what we were planning and invited themselves. It’s still just Track and Field people.”

Yong frowns, but lets herself be drawn into the party anyway, immediately putting on a smile as the rest of her teammates cheer at her arrival. It’s not that she has anything against the Boy’s team, in fact their team captain is one of her closest friends too, but she just can’t escape the nagging feeling that–

“Oh! Yong!”

She perks up at the voice and there’s already a laugh on her lips. “Hey!”

Lee Changsub has been her friend since their elementary days, and as it just so happens, he’s also the Captain of the Boys’ Track and Field Team. 

“So you’re the one who led your team to crash our party?” She teases. Changsub just laughs. 

“Not at all, I was gearing up for a night of video games and sleeping early. It’s the guys who dragged me to this.”

She bumps their shoulders together in commiseration. “I guess we have that in common then.”

Despite her misgivings, the party is actually fun. Joohyun’s parents ordered a lot of food and everyone is riding on the high of the Girls’ Team winning and the Boys’ Team making it to the City Finals. So much so that Yong is willing to turn a blind eye when some of the boys pull out bottles of soju and hand out shots to everyone. She gamely takes one, just to keep up appearances, but when Chorong passes her another, she leans over the edge of the patio and discreetly chucks it over her shoulder. 

“I saw that.”

Changsub’s face is already a little flushed from the alcohol, but his eyes are still clear as he grins at her with his own shot glass in hand. Yong shrugs, unapologetic. “Alcohol doesn’t agree with me.”

They stay in a companionable silence for a while, and it’s nice. She’s going to miss these people, Yong realizes, once they all graduate. Some of them, off to University, others will probably start working or take side jobs and internships. She thinks about Wheein and Hyejin, secretly auditioning to be idols. Thoughts of her future are swirling chaotically in her head along with the alcohol that she almost doesn’t hear that Changsub had asked her a question.

“Pardon?” She asks, passing it off as just the party being too loud.

“I said, ‘How are you and Byul doing?’” Changsub says, just a little louder and leaning in a bit closer to make himself heard.

“We’re okay,” Yong says, not quite sure what else to add. Ever since they both came out, she hasn’t had many people ask her about her relationship. Sometimes it still feels new, having people know that they’re together. 

“Have you talked about what you’re both going to do after you graduate?” He asks.

The question gives Yong pause. She thinks back to her girlfriend’s expression when they had dinner with Wheein and Hyejin, and even earlier that day when Byul had picked her up after practice. They still hadn’t talked about what it was that was bothering her. She frowns, wondering if maybe there’s something Byul’s been keeping from her after all. 

She realizes Changsub is waiting for her to answer.

“Not yet,” She replies, keeping her voice neutral, “Graduation is still a few months away and I’m not really worried about it.” The words sound a little hollow to her ears but she shrugs off the feeling for the moment. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Changsub says, with a smile of his own and Yong hopes the smile she offers him in return looks sincere. 

She’s thinking about backtracking just a bit, and telling him that she is a little worried after all, when a commotion in the main party area grabs both of their attentions. The rest of their teammates are laughing and hollering in various states of inebriation, moving the tables and chairs to the side to clear a wide space in the middle of the patio. 

“You two!” Chorong walks over and grabs both their hands, leading them to where everyone else is now seated on the floor forming what looks to be a very amorphous circle. “Come on, we’re going to play Spin the Bottle.”

The alarm bells in Yong’s head start ringing. “Wait a minute–”

“Come on!” Chorong pleads, shoving Changsub off to sit with the rest of the boys while she drags Yong to sit between her and Joohyun. “It’ll be fun! Just a few rounds and then we can go home.”

The nagging feeling from before is back, but she’s outnumbered and outmanoeuvred, so she takes a seat with a baleful glare at her friends and resigns herself to several minutes of awkwardness.

Already everyone’s giggling and jostling each other with their elbows, eyeing the empty soju bottle that Joohyun procures from behind her. “Before we start!” Joohyun calls out, commanding everyone’s attention, “everyone put your phones in this box,” she reaches for a the now-empty box that once housed six bottles of soju, “Whatever happens in the circle, stays in the circle. No pictures!”

“Why? Afraid The Insider is among us?” One of the boys calls out, meant to be jokingly, but now Yong can't help the way her eyes dart toward each of the faces in the circle. 

“All the more reason to put your phones in the box!” Joohyun says, unfazed, as she makes a show of putting her own phone in before passing the box to Yong. Admittedly, seeing everyone comply helps ease some of the worries, but it doesn’t quiet the flash of anxiety when Joohyun places the bottle in the middle of the circle and gives it the first spin.

The first few rounds are awkward as all hell. With kisses being pressed either to cheeks or noses and not for the first time that night, Yong kind of wishes Byul was there with her. If only to have someone to cling to and laugh at the whole situation with.

(Of course, the thought of having an excuse to actually kiss her girlfriend in public is also an allure, but Yong is perhaps one-soju-shot-too-tipsy to process those particular thoughts.)

When it’s Changsub’s turn with the bottle, he gamely announces that he’s going to kiss whoever it points to on the lips, even if it’s one of his teammates. Everyone’s laughing and squealing as the bottle spins. Yong finds herself laughing along too, right up until the bottle stops spinning. Pointed directly at her.

She catches the moment Changsub wishes he hadn’t made that promises, the obvious discomfort in his expression almost laughable if she weren’t stuck in this awkward situation with him. 

Still. Yongsun steels herself and squares her shoulders, “Come on, just get it over with!” She calls out, putting on a bravado she doesn’t quite feel. Everyone starts laughing and some of Changsub’s teammates are already shoving at his shoulders. Finally, he crabwalks across the circle over to her and Yong has to fight to keep a straight face. Once Changsub's face is only a few centimeters away from hers, she holds herself and purses her lips together, not breaking eye contact.

When their noses touch, Yong cracks, blowing out a raspberry at him as she bursts out laughing. Changsub immediately scoots away, wiping at his face where her spit had sprayed all over him. Around them, everyone is laughing and pointing, and Yong isn’t even embarrassed because she’s laughing too.

It takes a while for Changsub to recover, but when he does, he gamely reaches out a fist towards her and Yong bumps it with her own.

When she gets home quite late in the evening, she feels a little better about the whole thing, and finds that she’s glad she ended up agreeing to go after all.

 

–

 

The following Monday, the entire Girls’ Track and Field Team is finishing up putting away the last of the equipment when everyone’s phones all sound off at the same time. Yong doesn’t bother reaching for hers, even without looking she already knows what it is.

“The Insider made a new post!” Their younger teammates are already eagerly scrolling forward the chat group that Yong has had on mute since it first appeared on her phone. She barely manages to keep in a sneer. 

She waits for them to squeal about who the poor new target is but everyone’s gone deathly silent. It’s only when she feels the prickle of heat at her nape, coupled with the feeling of multiple eyes on her that Yong winces. There’s a horrible sense of déjà vu bubbling in her gut. When she looks up, it’s to see the entire Track and Field Team staring at her with varying looks of mortification and worry on their faces. 

Even though she already knows, she has to ask anyway. “What is it?”

 

–

 

She finds Byul on the archery range, which is right next to the track and field grounds. The younger girl has a quiver full of practice arrows that she keeps shooting one after another into an already decimated paper target. 

“You saw.” Yong says, deciding to get the conversation over and done with.

Byul stills for a moment, the drawstring on her bow pulled tight. When she finally releases the arrow, it whistles sharply through the air before landing with a satisfying thud on the target, just a few inches shy of dead center. “I saw.” She confirms.

“Can we talk about it?”

Deep down, Yong knows she hasn’t done anything wrong, and she’s comforted by the knowledge that everyone who was at the houseparty last Friday also know what the truth is. The angle of the photo also clears any Track and Field team member from being the Insider, since the rest of them were in the shot too. Still. Still . Seeing a grainy, night photo of what looks like her and Changsub kissing, even though it was taken literal seconds before she burst out laughing in his face. Scared her more than the first time she was exposed by the Insider. 

“Is there something to talk about?” Byul asks, and it’s all Yong can do to keep from crying. She takes a deep breath and clenches her hands into fists.

“Are you not even going to look at me while we talk?” She asks. 

There are a tense few seconds when she thinks Byul really will ignore her, and while Yong braces herself for the worst, she also can’t stop from hoping for the best. She knows Byul. Knows her better than anyone. Knows that what they have couldn’t be shaken by something so juvenile as a photo taken out of context.

Finally, finally , Byul heaves a sigh and lowers her bow and arrow. They’re quiet, for a minute that feels like an eternity, before Byul finally meets her eyes and Yong sees the redness and puffiness there, realizing that the younger girl has been crying.

“Oh Byul-ah,” 

Without thinking she steps forward, taking Byul into her arms and hugging her close. Byul’s grip around her waist is like a vice. She feels the exact moment all of the tension leave Byul’s body because it sags deeper into hers. 

“I know nothing happened,” Byul whispers against her shoulder. She hadn’t known she needed to hear those words, but once they’re in the air between them the force of the relief that slams into Yong almost buckles her knees. She quickly nods, hugging Byul tighter too. “I trust you, Yong.” Byul says, and Yong has to close her eyes because she might start crying too.

“The Insider really has it out for us, huh?” Yong says, and it garners the desired effect because Byul chuckles weakly against her. 

When Byul pulls away, she winces, hastily wiping at her eyes and her nose. “Gross. I hate crying.” It’s Yong’s turn to smile and she pulls out own handkerchief to start wiping gently at Byul’s face. 

“I’m glad we sorted that out quickly,” she mumbles, “For a second there, I thought I was going to have to beg you to take me back.”

Byul shakes her head, “It wasn’t even the picture that bothered me.”

“Then why–”

“Did you read the message it came with?”

Yong shakes her head. Truthfully, the moment she saw the photo, she hadn’t bothered to read the caption. She was more focused on finding her girlfriend. 

Byul pulls out her phone and opens the Insider chatgroup, scrolling all the way down to the message that had been sent with Yong and Changsub’s photo before showing Yong her screen:

 

YOU DONT TAKE THE GIRL WITH YOU AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. 

KIM YONGSUN LOOKS READY TO START FRESH AFTER GRADUATION. PERHAPS WITH FELLOW TRACK AND FIELD TEAM CAPTAIN, LEE CHANGSUB.

 

She frowns. The headline is despicable, but she still doesn’t understand why Byul was crying. She says as much and Byul heaves a deep sigh of resignation before pocketing her phone.

“It means, you’re graduating in February,” Byul says, “and Wheein and Hyejin are auditioning to be idols and if they make it, they’re going to leave too and I’ll still be here for a year and everything feels like it’s moving too fast. I don’t know if once you’re gone you’ll– we only have so much time left together and once that’s done how can we be sure that we’ll still–” 

Finally, the weird behavior and haunted looks make sense. Finally, Yong understands that this is what later was all about. In a way, she’s also a little glad to know that she isn’t the only one worrying about the future. She moves to take both of Byul’s hands in hers.

“It’s scary,” she agrees, “But, we’re in this for the long haul, right?”

Byul’s eyes widen a bit, and the sudden hope there practically breaks Yong’s heart. Without warning, Byul’s lips crash into hers and the momentum of it almost topples Yong over. Instead, she feels more grounded than ever, tilting her head to deepen the kiss, revelling in the depth of feeling she has for this girl in her arms. In how much she knows that they can make it through anything together.

When they pull apart, Yong presses their foreheads together and they just breathe. The calm around them is more assured now, more certain than it was a few days ago. It feels like they’ve passed a test together.

“I can’t believe that everything major that’s happened in our relationship is thanks to the Insider.” Byul jokes, “we might have to start thanking them soon.”

Yong scoffs. “Don’t start, I’m angrier now than I was when they outed us. Poor Changsub approached me earlier and looked like he was about to cry. He said he was ready to crawl on his knees if it meant we wouldn’t break up.”

Byul starts laughing too, “That would’ve been a sight. But I can’t believe both of you thought I would’ve fallen for this. I mean, based on the picture alone, we both know I can kiss you better than him.”

Yong can’t help the scandalized gasp that escapes her lips. She shoves Byul’s shoulder. “You’re gross.”

Byul’s eyes are twinkling mischievously now, “I mean, sure you two grew up together but come on, he can’t love you like I love you.”

“Enough!”

“Baby, I’d dye my hair blonde and sing a rock ballad at your graduation just to make sure you stay with me.”

Lips pressed together to control either a tide of laughter or a moan of despair, it’s Yong’s turn to press her face into Byul’s shoulder. “You’re so greasy. I hate it.”

“You love me.”

 

–

 

Distantly, on the other end of the archery range, behind the bleachers where no one else can see, someone zooms in with their phone camera, watching as the Captain of the Girls’ Archery Team and the Student Body President and Captain of the Girls’ Track and Field Team laugh and hug.

They snap a few photos before walking away.